After I had talked to Ashton that night I felt a little better about us taking the break.

I didn't want him to think I didn't want to be with him because I did, I just needed a few days without him to breathe and wrap my mind around everything that had happened in the last two weeks of my life.

I was engaged, I had been diagnosed with these stupid dissociative seizures, I was now taking anxiety medication, my fiancé was a celebrity and was about to leave me for a worldwide tour and leave me at home with my brother and our four year old "adopted" daughter...and I was only 19.

Once I had hung up the phone I took Gracie upstairs to get her in the bath, and then let her get snuggled up in my bed while I went to see what the heck was wrong with Ender.

"End?" I knocked on his door twice before opening it.

He was sitting on his bed with his back to the pillows, one of my dads collector comic books in his hands.

I walked over and sat next to him on the bed.

"What's going on?"

"Coach Robin got mad at me today because I messed up the play and our team lost." He frowned.

"That's okay." I said softly, reaching out to place my hand on his knee. "It happens to everyone. As long as you know what your mistake was and how to not make it again then you learned your lesson."

"I know, but still...he was really mad at me."

"Wanna hear a story? One time at practice we were doing a play and I didn't like it because it was all messed up and I knew it wasn't going to work. So during the play I did the wrong thing on purpose to prove my point and I ended up getting a girl hurt. Coach yelled at me until he was blue in the face and after practice I cried in the locker rooms for an hour. It happens to everyone End, but you live and you learn."

He nodded.

"So what's the deal with you and Ashton? Are you guys fighting or what?" He asked.

"No we aren't fighting. We're just taking a break for a few days."

"Why?"

"Because, we need to."

He rolled his eyes.

"You never explain anything to me."

"Ender..." I sighed. "It's complicated okay."

"It's always complicated."

"Okay, I'm leaving before we fight." I stood up and walked to his door. "Good night." I shut his door behind me.

In my room Gracie was waiting for me and I gave her a soft smile before changing into my pyjamas.

I slid beneath the blankets and she cuddled up to me.

"Mommy?" She asked.

"Yes love?"

"Thank you for being my Mommy." She said and my heart broke and warmed at the same time.

"Aw Gracie." I sighed happily and she smiled up at me. "Thank you for being my little girl."

I pulled her against me, the two of us snuggling up beneath the covers and falling asleep.

In the morning I did my usual routine of carrying Gracie, making coffee, and getting everyone ready.

Ender had decided that he wasn't going to talk to me and I was really over his attitude so I just ignored him.

I got him to school like I had done when Ashton and I were going through the time of me not speaking to him, with Gracie on my lap as I rode the bike and then took her back home where I had her practice more on riding her tricycle around the car lot.

She was getting better, but she needed more practice before I would let her ride places.

Treys mom was bringing Ender home after practice and when he walked in the door he was still acting like a brat.

"Honestly? You're still not talking to me?" I said to him as he passed by me. "Just because Ashton isn't here?"

"No, because you won't tell me anything!" He whipped around and yelled at me, Gracie who was sitting on the sofa turning around to poke her head over the top with wide eyes.

"Ender. There's just some things you won't understand."

"Try me."

I sighed.

"Ashton wants us to go on tour with him and I told him no. We got in a fight and we made up, but I need space from him just for a few days. That's it."

"He wants us to go on tour?"

"Yes."

"What does that mean?"

"It means we would leave home for a really long time and go around the world with him and Michael and Luke and Calum while they played shows and other stuff."

"And you said no?!" He screamed.

"Ender you'd have to leave school, we'd have to leave the house, we'd have to leave the business. We can't."

"I don't care about any of that! I want to go on tour with him!"

"Well I said no! And since I'm the adult what I say goes!"

"You're not mom and dad, stop trying to be them!"

"Don't yell at Mommy!" Gracie's small voice piped up and in the middle of our screaming it was almost unheard.

"Shut up Gracie! She's not your Mom!" Ender turned and yelled at her, Gracie shying away from him with frightened eyes.

"Hey!" I screamed at him when Gracie began to cry because of his words. "I am her Mom! Im all she has left, and I'm all you have left too!Stop taking your anger at me out on everyone else!"

"You always ruin everything for me! I hate you Carter!" He shouted with absolute hurt, anger, and sadness in his eyes before he stalked out the front door, slamming it shut behind him. 

I glared at the door as it closed.

Gracie was still sobbing behind me so I had to quickly calm her down, forgetting about how angry I was at my brother in order to console the crying little girl.

She finally stopped crying and went off to play while I sat on the sofa with my head in my hands.

I tried so hard to be the best sister for him, the best guardian for him...and I always failed.

Was this how it was going to be with Gracie when she got older? God, I hoped not.

Hours passed by and Ender hadn't come home.

I went outside and looked all around our house, the shop, the boat, and the marina and he wasn't there. His bike was gone but his helmet was still in the storage area.

He had done this before, several times in fact when he was younger, but always came back by dinner, so when dinner was over and he still wasn't home I became concerned.

Despite mine and Ari's fight I called her, freaking out.

"I'll go out and look for him. Where are his usual places?" She asked and I listed off any place he could possibly be.

Then I remembered. Ashton. If he was pissed at me then maybe he went to him.

After ending my call with Ari I called Ash.

"Hey." He answered quickly.

"Is Ender with you?" I asked.

"What?"

"Is Ender with you?"

"No?" He questioned. "Why is he not with you?"

"Because we got in a fight and he left but he's been gone for hours and I can't find him and I'm freaking out." I said, starting to panic.

What if something bad had happened to him?

What if he was hurt, or kidnapped, or lying dead in a ditch? I should've gone after him, why didn't I go after him?

"Okay, okay I'm going to go look for him. Don't freak out, I'm sure he's fine. I'll call you if I find him."

"Yeah." I breathed.

"He'll be fine Car." Ashton said, but I could hear the waver in his voice and the sound of his car keys as he went to go look.

It was dark outside now and my worry only increased and I had to take an anxiety pill to calm myself down.

Ari had checked all of Ender's usual places that he would've gone to but he wasn't there, so she was checking again.

It was 9:30 and I was on the verge of a total breakdown when my phone rang, Ashton's name appearing on the screen.

"I found him." Ashton said when I answered and I breathed a giant sigh of relief.

"Is he okay?"

"He's fine. I'm bringing him back now." He said, he didn't sound pleased.

The moment I ended the call my worry turned to anger.

I told Gracie to stay in my room while I waited at the open front door, a few minutes later, a stern looking Ashton and a conflicted looking Ender walked up to the house.

As his sibling I wanted to hug him and kiss him and tell him I was happy he was back home, but as his guardian I wanted to yell and scream and punish him for being so foolish.

"Go to your room and wait for me there." I said firmly as Ender brushed past me and into the house, not making eye contact with me.

I flinched when his door slammed shut and took a deep breath.

Turning back Ashton was standing in front of me.

"Where was he?" I asked, my voice was thin.

"Just walking along the side of the road. I almost didn't see him but thankfully I did." He said.

I nodded.

"Thank you for finding him and for bringing him back."

"You don't have to thank me, he's my family Carter."

I bit my lip and nodded again.

"Are you okay?" He placed a hand on my upper arm.

"I'll be fine."

"Okay." He said.

He looked like he wanted to say more.

"Thanks for bringing him home." I looked up into his eyes and he moved forward to hug me.

"Why were you guys fighting?"

"Because I said no to going on tour with you, and he wants to go."

"Oh Carter." Ashton sighed as held me.

"I can't do anything right." I let out a dry sob and he squeezed me tighter.

"That's not true. There's just a lot going on right now and you're emotional and stressed and you need to take a deep breath so you can think clearly." He said.

"Please don't leave." I hugged him with all of my strength. "I was being stupid. I don't need space, I need you."

"I won't leave, I won't leave." He began to sway me slightly.

"Come on love." He said after a few minutes and he led me inside, going to the cabinet to hand me one of my anxiety pills.

"Do you want to talk to him by yourself or together?" He placed a hand on my cheek.

"Together."

"Okay." He nodded and then began to move his thumb across my cheek. "Hey. We can do this."

I bit my lip, nodding slightly.

"I don't just mean talking to Ender, I mean us Carter, our life, we can do this."

I sniffled.

"Weren't you the one who said the night we got engaged, that even though there's going to be trials in our life, if we love each other then we'll make it through?" He asked, his voice sweet and calming.

"Yes." I said.

"This is one of those times. I'm not going to leave, and I'm not going to change my mind about you. I'm going to be here for you and the kids and we are going to start our life right here, right now. No more fights and tears and giving each other space. I love you and you love me and we are going to do this, together. I'm your fiancé and you're mine, and I love you and our family more than anything else in the world, so let's just forget about everything and just...just be us again."

I nodded at this and he pulled me into his arms.

"Okay."

He breathed a sigh of relief.

We were back.

His hands smoothed across the skin of my face and he leaned in to kiss me.

The kiss was passionate and loving and told me everything I wanted to know: that the whole weird mess we were in was over.

"We should go up there." I said after a minute.

"Okay." He nodded, kissing me once more before intertwining his fingers with mine.

We went up the stairs and he let go of my hand so he could knock on Ender's bedroom door before we entered.

The moment we walked in Ender's eyes narrowed.

Even though Ashton was the main thing on my mind, I was still Ender's sister and his guardian, and what he did was not okay.

"Ender what the hell were you thinking?" My voice came out angry. "You could've been hurt or kidnapped or worse. I get that you're mad at me but what you did was worse than anything I could've ever done to you."

"Oh really?" He rolled his eyes at me. "If that's the case then why don't you just put me in the foster system and keep Gracie. You like her better anyways."

"What?" I exclaimed.

"Don't even try to deny it, you love her more because she's your little girl."He hissed.

"If this is because I've been spending a lot of time with Gracie then I'm sorry. But she's four Ender, she can't do anything for herself like you can. I just assumed that you could handle yourself for a bit until she gets settled in. You were okay with her being here, what changed?"

"You changed Car, you did."

"How did I change?"

"You got engaged and now you don't care about anything else but Ashton and Gracie. I might as well not even exist."

"Ender that's not true." Ashton said next to me. "Carter loves you more than anything."

"You're just saying that because you're going to marry her."

"No I'm saying that because it's true." Ashton said firmly. "You know what she said to me the first time she was in the hospital? She said she felt like a failure because she made you feel like you were alone and that she had spent her life making sure you never felt that way. And when she was in the hospital this time she cried because she was so upset over the fact that you thought she was going to die. She's made every decision in her life based on you, and you need to see that."

Ashton wasn't holding back with his words.

"Ender I told you when Gracie first got here that if you ever felt left out then you needed to tell me. So why didn't you tell me?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Because I didn't want to be a bother."

"Ender you're my brother I'd do anything for you." I said, completely hurt. Tears brimmed at my eyes and I turned away, not being able to look at him.

"If you honestly think that I'd put anything before you then you're wrong." I said before walking out of his bedroom.

I couldn't do this anymore.

Downstairs I grabbed the blanket from the sofa and threw myself onto it, covering myself up to hide myself from the world.

How could he possibly think that anything came before him.

Yes I loved Ashton and he took up a lot of my time and attention, but we had just gotten engaged, that's how it was supposed to be.

And Gracie, she was only four. She was still new to the family and learning how the world worked, and she needed me and Ashton.

But Ender, we'd grown up together. When our parents died it was just the two of us for years. We were closer than most siblings were because of everything we'd been through. It didn't matter what happened in life, Ender came first.

Since the house was silent I could hear it when Ashton started to speak to Ender again.

"Mate, your sister is worried about you, and I'm worried about you too. I know things have been weird and confusing the past couple of weeks, and I'm sorry about that. There's been a lot of change but one thing that hasn't changed is the fact that Carter and I both love you. She's your sister, she's going to love you no matter what, and it really hurt her when you ran off and then said those things to her. And when your sister hurts, I hurt, and when you hurt, I hurt too. Believe or not but we are a family now Ender, and a family shouldn't be fighting with each other like this."

"Why are you so nice to me?" Ender asked him. "Shouldn't you be mad at me like Carter is?"

"Well I'm not pleased with what you did and we will discuss a punishment for that at a later time, but you're like my brother Ender, or my son. I care about you so much. I was scared to death when I was looking for you because I thought what if something bad happened to you. I would be beside myself if something had. The same way I would've been if something happened to Gracie, or to Carter."

Ashton sighed.

"I love you all equally but in different ways, the same way Carter does. She loves you because you're her brother and you both have gone through so much together and have this bond that most siblings don't have. And I love you because you're one of my best friends, you're apart of my family, and your genuinely one of the best kids I've ever met. And see Carter and I love Gracie just as much as we love you, because she's our daughter now Ender. And I love your sister just as much as I love you and Gracie, because not only is she the girl I'm going to marry, but because she's given me you and Gracie. Do you understand what I'm talking about?"

I didn't hear a reply.

"You and your sister are so much alike." I heard Ashton chuckle.

"How?" Ender asked.

"Because you two are the most loving people I've ever met, yet you're both so scared of being loved back. It's crazy to me how you can't see how much people actually love you."

There was silence for a long time and I sat there on the sofa with my jaw dropped.

"I'm sorry for what I said, and for running away like that." Ender said finally, his voice wavering a bit.

"Thank you." Ashton said. "I really do love you End. Don't forget that, okay?"

I heard a few sniffles.

"Come here bud." Ashton said softly and then I heard the distinct sounds of Ender crying.

"Thank you for being like my dad." Ender cried and I bit my lip to choke back a sob.

Tears streamed from my eyes when I heard Ender's words. They were a mixture of sad and happy tears, and I pulled the blanket up to my chin to comfort myself.

Maybe Ender would be able to realise how much I actually did love him, and we could go back to being the brother and sister we were supposed to be.

--

This chapter was so sad for me to write.

Anyways, I hope everyone is doing well! I'm in uni right now and our semester is almost over so it's super crazy for me, but I hope you guys are doing well!

as always, vote and comment if you'd like and I'll have the next part up soon!

ps. thank you guys so much for reading this story, it really means a lot to me!

much love xx -M