I followed Ashton into the coffee shop, him politely holding the door open for me.

We waited in line at the counter until it was our turn.

"What would you like?" He asked me.

"Cinnamon latte." I answered.

He told the barista my drink order and his and we went to pay. I took my wallet from my pocket but he placed a gentle hand on mine to stop me.

"I've got it." He gave me a little smile. "Why don't you go find us a table."

I nodded and walked around the little room until I found a table for two in the back. Taking a seat, I stared at the dark wooden table top until a drink was placed in front of me.

Looking up I saw Ashton setting his drink down and then taking the seat across from me.

My eyes moved down and I could see a light patch on his tee shirt from where I had cried on it and I felt bad for ruining his shirt.

"So did you uh...find a place to stay?" I asked him, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah, there's a little bed and breakfast up the street. The owner is really sweet, she makes me food and washes my clothes for me, so that was nice."

"That sounds good." I said, trying to keep the conversation light.

"Not really." He shook his head and I gave him a confused look. "I was away from you Carter, and that's never a good thing."

I sucked in a breath at this.

"I kicked you out of the house without any of your things, and I'm sorry, that was wrong of me." I said and he shook his head.

"No, you had every right to. And don't apologise for being mad at me, you should be." He gave me a light hearted smile and then his face turned serious. "And by the way have you been drinking?"

"What?" I asked him, taken aback. "No."

"Why was there a bottle of scotch on counter?"

"Oh." I answered and blinked a few times. "I just had a few sips that's all."

"Please tell me it wasn't because of me..." He said.

"I just wanted to take the edge off." I explained.

I couldn't decipher Ashton's expression, he was either upset or disappointed, and I didn't know which one I'd rather him be.

"That's not the way to solve this." He said slowly as if carefully choosing each word he said.

"I wasn't trying to solve it, I was trying to make myself feel better." I bit back harshly.

"Okay, I don't want to fight with you. We're taking a step back when we need to be going forward." He raised his hands in surrender and I looked down at my coffee cup.

I was being mean to him, I knew that. But it didn't matter that I still loved him, he had hurt me.

I wanted to fix this, to make my broken heart stop hurting, but I honestly didn't know how.

"How do you think we can fix this?" I asked him, hoping he had an idea.

"You said you wanted to know the real me, so get to know him. Though I must warn you, he is quite similar to the me you already know, he just has a cooler job." He said adding a bit of humour to lighten the situation and I couldn't help but chortle at his horrible joke.

"So I'm guessing celebrity status doesn't improve your joke telling skills." I smirked slightly.

"Not at all." He laughed.

To hide my smile I took a sip of my latte.

When I looked back up at him I noticed the dark circles still under his eyes.

"You look tired." I commented.

"Last night was the first proper sleep I've had in three days." He said and I frowned, so he hadn't been able to sleep either.

"I know the feeling." I sighed.

We sat there silently for a couple of minutes. I could feel his gaze on me but I never looked up into it.

"So I'm "Mystery Girl" huh?" I spoke softly.

"You saw that?" He asked, suddenly very intrigued.

"Yeah."

"So I'm assuming you looked me up."

"I was curious." I kept my gaze down, kind of embarrassed.

"It's okay, I figured you would." He said reassuringly. "Did you find anything interesting?"

"Your fans don't seem to like me." I said and shrugged my shoulders.

"They're just jealous of you."

"Because I'm dating you."

"That. And because you're beautiful, and perfect, and all I ever want." He complimented me, and I blushed.

"So does this mean we are still dating?" He asked me and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

"I don't know." I answered. "I feel like I'm letting you off the hook too easily. I want to scream at you and yell at you because of what you did, but I don't want to lose you."

He opened his mouth to talk but now was my turn to stop him.

"I know that this is the only relationship I've ever been in, and I must sound so stupid defending you after everything you did, but I can't help but believe that everything in our time together was real and genuine."

I took another breath and then laughed at myself.

"I should be breaking up with you right now but instead I'm sitting here telling you I want to make this work. I know you love me but it still doesn't feel that way. And I know you didn't want to hurt me but you still did."

I dropped my face into my hands as my eyes started to mist up. I was so angry with myself for not being able to hate Ashton as much as I should.

"Why can't I hate you?" I whimpered and I felt his hands reach out to take mine, his fingers softly sliding over the skin as he pulled them away from my face.

"I don't even know who you are anymore." A tear escaped my eye and I would've wiped it away but my hands were claimed by Ashton's so it just rolled down my cheek until it hit the table top.

"Hey, let's get out of here." He said softly and I nodded as a few more teardrops escaped. Tugging lightly on my hands I stood up and he led me out of the coffee shop. I ignored the people staring at me and just let Ashton take me to his jeep, opening the door for me and helping me in.

He started to drive and I stared out the window as a blur of tears clouded my vision but he finally stopped the car in front of a two story building. It was set back in some trees and a lot of pretty multi coloured flowers were out front. He came around to the side of the jeep and opened my door for me, taking my hand and leading me into the building.

He walked past a living room and led me up a staircase and into a bedroom where he shut the door behind us.

"Come here." He pulled me into him, his arms coming around my back as I tucked my head into his chest.

"You have every right to be mad at me. I hurt you so badly and I know that, and it hurts me that I'm the reason you're crying. But I love you so much, and me lying to you is the biggest mistake I've ever made. You deserve all the love in the world and I never want you to feel like I don't love you." He said into my hair and at his words I let out a heart wrenching sob.

"Shh...shh..it's okay. I've got you, you're okay." He cooed at me. "God I'm the worst boyfriend ever."

At that moment I didn't disagree with him.

Somehow when I went to inhale my breath got caught in my lungs and I started to hyperventilate.

"Breathe baby, you've gotta breathe."

My chest was moving up and down erratically and Ashton began to rub circles on my back.

"Car, you've gotta calm down." He said in a soothing voice and I inhaled a strangled gasp for air.

"Go lay down, I'm going to go get you some water." He said and brushed his lips against my forehead.

Doing as he said I crawled onto the bed that took up a majority of the room. I heard the bedroom door open and close and then he was gone.

My hands griped the fabric of the dark green comforter.

What was I doing?

Here he was, comforting me, telling me he loves me, saying he was sorry for lying to me...and here I was, not even giving him a straight answer on where I wanted our relationship to go.

The door opened again and he came back with a glass of water in his hand.

He knelt on the bed with one knee and brushed my hair back with his free hand.

"You need to drink something, love." He passed me the glass of water and I took it, taking a few sips. I set it down on the table next to me then dropped my head onto the pillow.

Ashton sat down next me on the bed and not being able to help myself I moved closer. What a sick world it was when the only person who could comfort you and piece you back together was the one who hurt you in the first place.

My fingers gripped at the bottom of his tee shirt and he realised what I wanted, sliding down so that he could put his arm around me and pull me closer to him.

I was still crying but not as hard as I was before, and I was finally able to breathe normally.

"You love me more than you should." I said softly and felt his stomach muscles freeze under my head.

"What are you talking about?" He asked me.

"You always tell me that you love me, and you're here holding me when I still don't even know what I want. You could be with someone where things like this wouldn't matter, but yet you're still here with me...and I guess I don't understand why."

"Because I really do love you. And I love everything about you. I love Ender and Gracie and the little family we've made. I love how genuine and down to earth you are and how you're so innocent and perfect for me in every single way imaginable. And as for anyone else, there is none."

His fingers went down to hold my hand and they slid between my fingers to twist the promise ring around my left ring finger.

"I got you this ring because I'm committed to us, and I'm committed to you. What we are going through right now, though it hurts like hell, we can make it through. But we can't do anything until you trust me again."

"How long until that happens?" I mumbled.

"I don't know baby, I'm not you, I can't decide that for you." He laughed lightly.

"I wish you could." I sighed.

I snuggled my head into his stomach more and closed my eyes. I felt his hand that wasn't holding mine come up and start to lightly run through my hair.

The feeling was soothing and sweet, and being in Ashton's presence had me drifting off to sleep.

--

I feel so bad for Carter, she's so confused :(

but I also feel bad for Ashton because he's doing everything he can to get her back and she won't give him a straight answer :/

anyways, as always, vote and comment if you'd like and I'll see you guys in the next chapter that I'll have up soon! (maybe even tomorrow (; )

much love xx - M