XX

[PREVIOUSLY: Octavia is faced with a heart-wrenching decision as Finn's life is put on the line. She had one thing to do and she failed. Now, Spacewalker is going to die].

The dim glimmer of the torch's light flickered across the room, casting long, luminous shadows along the length of the floor.

I was sitting with my back up against one of the earthen walls. The case of vials was by my side. A small knife was in my hands. I had drawn my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I stared absent-mindedly at the blade as I twirled it around my fingers.

Even though it was evident by my red and puffy face, I had stopped crying long ago. My tears had shrivelled up as each minute stretched by. I had been in this room, smelling of dried blood and reeking of death, for hours. Without a doubt, Finn's execution would've been carried out by now. If only he hadn't followed me out of the camp! Then his life would've been spared!

"I love you!"

His earlier words echoed over and over in my mind. Had he truly meant it? Or was that just something you said when you were looking death in the face? He was with Raven. He had grown up with her. They were childhood sweethearts. Me? I was probably just one of his many flings. It didn't mean anything to him. He just liked how I made him feel at the time: special, loved, important. I never had that deep connection with him or those funny memories to share with him. I had only known him for a mere few weeks. He had known Raven his entire life. Raven was, by far, the more preferable option.

But it wasn't Raven he searched for. It wasn't Raven he was worried about. It wasn't Raven that he had sacrificed his life for.

It was me.

"Hey."

Slowly, I lifted up my head and glared at the grounder who was sitting across from me. When Finn was taken away, Anya had summoned a continent of guards to remove the girl's body and escort her out of the tunnels. She had assigned one of the warriors to keep watch over me while she completed the dirty work that she had set out to do: kill Finn.

"What?" I growled.

"Anya will take no pleasure in your friend's death," he told me pointedly. "Prove your worth and you will be welcome here."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Are you kidding me? I couldn't save that girl. Why would you want me to stay here?"

"We told you," the grounder responded sternly. "Our healer is gone."

I swallowed hard as the situation began to dawn on me. The grounders weren't planning on letting me go ... ever.

"W-will I be able to go back and see them?" I whispered. "My friends? My brother? My home?"

The grounder scoffed and shook his head. "Tomorrow, there'll be nothing left to go back to."

I froze.

Now, it all started to make sense. Aidan knew that his people were planning another vicious attack and he had turned me in to Anya because he hadn't wanted me to die in the fight! He must've made some bargain with her for the preservation of my life!

Upon seeing my horrified face, the grounder let out a low chuckle. Pushing himself to his feet, the burly warrior sneered, "When the smoke from your camp rises up into the heavens, we'll take you outside so you can see what you doomed your people to." Stepping closer to me, the grounder lowered his voice as he snarled, "You may think you got lucky escaping from the battle, but trust me, you're gonna wish you had died with the rest of em."

My eyes narrowed as I gazed up at him. My fingers tightened around the handle of my knife. Then, without leaving room for the grounder to react, I lunged forward and stabbed him straight in the neck!

The grounder gasped in shock as he careened backwards, scrabbling desperately at his throat. His eyes widened in pain when his fingers closed around the handle of the knife in an effort to try and remove it.

Leaping to my feet, I kicked him straight in the knee. The grounder fell helplessly to the ground, splattering blood across the far wall.

I hurled myself on top of the writhing form and clamped my hands down on the grounder's mouth. "Shhh," I hissed as I tightened my grip.

I could feel the warrior weakening beneath me with every passing second. Grinding my teeth together, I pressed down on the man's mouth, completely blocking his airway.

Hurry up! I inwardly urged, trying to avert my gaze from the stream of thick reddish liquid oozing from the grounder's neck.

Suddenly, the grounder's frantic eyes glazed over and his body fell still.

Heaving a deep breath, I slowly lifted my hands from his mouth and backed away from him. My knees went weak and the muscles in my arms and legs felt like jelly.

I had just committed a murder!

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I murmured apologetically as I turned away.

Gulping down my fear, I girded myself with the set of knives that had previously been in the medical case before tying back my thick, wayward hair with a piece of loose string. Then, without a moment to lose, I hurried out of the room and sprinted through a criss-cross of dusky tunnels.

I had to get back to the drop-ship and warn the others!

I pushed my legs to go faster. I could literally hear the clock of time ticking in my ears! Tomorrow; the grounders were attacking tomorrow! We had to prepare ourselves, reinforce our defences, strengthen our positions! We were in no place to take the upper hand! We would all be slaughtered!

I finally came across the hard wooden door leading into the blacksmith's shop. As I burst through it, holding up my knife and searching for any intruders, I cast my eyes towards a row of prison cells that were sitting right off of the room. Earlier, Finn and I had been detained in one of them.

I felt salt in my mouth and realised that I was crying. Crying for Finn, crying for the little girl I couldn't save, crying for the grounder that I had killed.

I was a monster.

"Em ron of! Frag em op!" a loud cry rose up and rang out amongst the tunnels behind me.

I stiffened in fright as I heard the hideous shout. That could only mean one thing: they had discovered the dead grounder!

Oh no.

Gasping and spluttering, I shoved my way through the shop to another door on the opposite side of the room. Sliding the lock from its place, I kicked open the gnarly timbered structure. I was greeted with a sudden rush of fresh, nighttime air and paused monetarily to fill my lungs up with its sweetness.

Squinting against the darkness shrouding the landscape, I scanned the area. A full moon hung in the sky, giving me enough light to see by as it illuminated the swaying outlines of the forest trees surrounding me.

The only problem?

I didn't know which way to go!

The cries and yells of the pursuing grounders suddenly jogged me from my stupor. My eyes widened in terror as I took off running and plunged into the forest's thick undergrowth.

I don't know how long I ran or how far I got. I just kept going; pushing against the ferns and bushes brushing against my legs, swatting at the tree branches whipping my arms and cheeks, forcing my aching chest to endure the pain I was inflicting on it.

Finally, I stumbled to a halt and doubled over, placing my hands on my knees. I heaved and I huffed and I puffed. I knew I couldn't go on like this for much longer.

I strained my ears to hear if my pursuers were close by but the only thing that disrupted the silence of the night-time forest was the sound of the wind whistling through the tips of the trees.

Straightening up, I took one step forward, then another and another and another.

Suddenly, without warning, something tightened around my foot. The next thing I knew, my entire body had been jerked up into the air and strung upside down.

I had walked right into a trap!

I let out a yell of surprise as I twisted this way and that, trying to escape from the rope that bound me.

Just as I was removing one of the knives from my belt, intent on cutting myself down, I heard the rustling of footsteps erupt from behind me!

I froze stock-still, hoping that if I didn't move, I would go unnoticed ... But alas, no such luck was to befall me.

The large, muscular figure of a masked grounder, armed with a spear and two swords, stepped right into my line of sight. He began walking towards me, his bone-studded armour clanging together with each step.

I let out a shaky groan as my mind relapsed and my aching body gave up. I had done my best but now, just like Finn, my time was up.

I watched as the grounder approached me. Reaching over, he grasped the rope that was wrapped tightly around my foot and jerked it downwards. He withdrew his sword and severed it right through the waxed strands.

"Ooof!" I exclaimed as my body hit the ground with a loud, resounding thump.

Completely out of breath, my head slumped straight into a pile of dirt that had been disturbed by my fall. My shoulders sagged and my eyes flickered shut as the grounder's boots stopped right in front of me.

The last thing I remember feeling was something warm and scratchy brushing against my skin.

Then everything went black.

Gif: Octavia as she talks to the grounder.

XX