Chapter 42

I hadn't heard anything from Samuel—not that I wanted to. Busy ako sa ibang kaso ko. Busy ako sa buhay ko. I mean, it's nothing new. I have a whole life without him. Took me quite a while to reach this point kasi aminado naman ako na nung kami pa sa law school, I made him a part of my life.

Kasi ganon naman talaga kapag first love, 'di ba? Akala mo kayo na talaga. Gusto mo kayo na talaga.

Tapos biglang papasok si reality.

Na sa relasyon, hindi pwede 'yung puro feelings.

Kasi kami ni Samuel? Wala naman akong duda na minahal talaga namin iyong isa't-isa. Pero hindi naman sapat na mahal lang namin iyong isa't-isa. Ang daming naging problema. Problema na hindi sinabi. Problema na pilit tinago.

Hanggang sa isang araw, biglang alam mo na.

Na ayaw mo na pala.

"What?" I asked nang kumatok si Tel sa pinto ko at buksan 'yon.

"May gusto po kayong makausap... pero wala kasi sa calendar niyo."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Sino daw?"

"Mrs. Fortalejo daw po."

"Si Shanelle?" I asked, a bit confused dahil hindi naman niya ginagamit iyong apelido ni Samuel. Besides, that one would barge in my office kahit wala siyang appointment.

"Hindi po... Matanda na, e."

I felt my heart dropping from my chest.

Shit.

Bakit siya nandito?

Gusto kong sabihin na lang kay Tal na paalisin iyong nanay ni Samuel, pero hindi ko magawa. She just suffered from a heart attack. I didn't want to do anything that will cause her stress.

"Okay," I said. "Tell her... tell her meron pa akong kausap but that I will see her in a minute."

I grabbed my phone and quickly dialed Samuel's number. He answered in the first ring na para bang inaabangan niya ang tawag ko.

"Dea—" he said and then stopped himself. "Atty. Manjarrez."

"Nandito iyong nanay mo," mabilis na sabi ko sa kanya.

"What?"

"She's here and she wants to talk to me," I told him. "Can you go here and get her?" I asked him.

I knew Samuel's mom from his stories from before. I knew she's a devout Catholic. I knew of her stance and of her beliefs. Kung dati pa siguro kami nagkita, kaya kong pigilin iyong sarili ko. But it's different now. It's my work now. Nakita ko kung paano naghihirap iyong mga tao na nakulong sa kasal nila. Na para bang preso iyon na hindi sila makalaya.

Marriage is not some life sentence.

And I knew na ganon ang tingin doon ng nanay ni Samuel. Kasi ganon ang sinabi niya kay Shanelle. Na kasal na silang dalawa kaya dapat magpasensya si Shanelle kay Samuel.

I wouldn't be able to stop myself if she tells me all of that nonsense.

"Okay," Samuel replied. "Just please—"

"I will try my best," I told him kahit hindi pa niya tapos ang sasabihin niya. I blame this on us being together for a long time. Na kahit hindi pa tapos ang sinasabi niya, para bang alam ko na kung ano iyon. It was a blessing then... but it much certainly felt like a curse now.

"Okay," he said in resignation.

When I ended the call, agad akong humugot ng malalim na hininga. I needed to be extra patient today. I mean, alam ko naman kung saan nanggagaling iyong nanay ni Samuel. She's religious, I understand that. But I feel like you being religious isn't a license to force your beliefs on someone else. Kasi 'di ba sila nga nagagalit kapag kinu-kwestyon iyong paniniwala nila? So, why not extend the same courtesy to others? Respect them kung gusto nila magpa-annul. Seriously, the world would be a much better place if we'll all stop imposing our beliefs on other people.

"Papasukin mo na," I said to Tal nang muli siyang kumatok sa pinto.

Nang pumasok iyong nanay ni Samuel, I saw the disapproval on her face. What? Did she feel disrespected na hindi ko siya nilabas at pinapunta lang dito sa opisina ko? I just felt that it would be better kung dito kaming dalawa. We have privacy here. She can say whatever she wants to say. I promise I will try my best to remain calm and civil hanggang sa makarating si Samuel.

"Good morning," agad niyang sabi nang makapasok siya.

I stood up as a sign of respect. "Good morning din po," I replied. "Have a seat po."

I did not want to be on the offense hanggang wala naman siyang sinasabi na hindi ko kayang pagpasensyahan. Maximum tolerance ako lalo na sa mga clients ko. Syempre, professionalism pa rin kahit natatangahan ako minsan sa ginagawa nila.

But really, who was I to judge? Dumaan din naman ako sa phase na hindi ko rin gets bakit ko ginagawa. Ang tanging sagot ko lang ay 'mahal ko, e.'

"I don't want to waste any more of your time, hija," she said. "Let my son go."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Matagal na po kaming break," I replied.

"But now, you're here again. And my son wants an annulment."

I pressed my lips together as I drew a deep breath.

"It had been years since we last talked, Mrs. Fortalejo," I politely said. "I am just here because Shanelle wanted to retain my service. That's all. Nothing is going on between me and your son."

Nakatingin lang siya sa akin, but it was enough. Halata sa tingin niya na hindi siya naniniwala sa akin. Why was she here, then? Kung buo na pala ang desisyon niya na ako ang nanira sa kasal ng anak niya?

"Why would you accept this case?" she asked.

"Because I need the money," I simply replied because it's the truth. Kung hindi kailangan ng pera ng firm, I would not dare touch this case within a ten feet pole. Akala ba niya nakaka-enjoy na marinig iyong married-life ng ex mo? Did she think I relish on thinking that after all the promises he made before to me, iba pa rin ang dinala niya sa altar? I was not a masochist.

"That's it? That's all you need?"

"Yes."

Napaawang ang labi ko nang buksan niya iyong bag niya at naglabas doon ng checkbook. This... this couldn't be seriously happening!

"How much?" she asked. "How much for you to leave my son alone?"

Hindi ako makapagsalita.

Did she seriously just barge her way into my office? And thought that she could buy me with her money? What the fuck was this? Some teledrama?! Ano ang susunod niyang sasabihin? Sampung milyon at layuan mo ang anak ko?!

"You said that that's the only reason you accepted this case," she said. Hawak niya na iyong ballpen niya. Na para bang isang pirma niya lang, mawawala lahat ng 'to sa isang iglap.

I calmed myself down.

Maximum tolerance.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Fortalejo. I am not for sale. I am just doing my job. Kung may problema po kayo, si Shanelle po ang kausapin niyo dahil siya ang lumapit sa akin—"

"They were doing just fine until you appeared again," she said calmly but I felt the venom in her voice.

"Apparently not because they're getting an annulment," I simply replied. "Ma'am, please—"

"You left my son when he was at his lowest. How dare you to just come back like nothing happened? Now that he's finally okay, you're here to ruin everything again?"

Napaawang ang labi ko sa sinabi niya.

I left him when he was at his lowest? I was there to pick him up when he was at his lowest! He was the one who pushed me away and blamed me for all the wrong things that happened in his life!

Ang dami kong gustong itanong sa kanya, pero biglang bumukas iyong pinto at dumating si Samuel.

"Ma—"

"Why are you ruining your life again because of this woman!"

Samuel looked at me. I saw how apologetic he was to me, but I couldn't care less about that. I cared more kung bakit ganoon ang tingin ng nanay niya sa akin. We haven't even met before nung kami pa!

"I told you it's not because of her. Can we please leave Deanne out of this?" seryosong sabi ni Samuel sa nanay niya.

Mariing umiling iyong nanay niya. "No," she said. "You're just doing all of this dahil nandito na naman 'yang babaeng 'yan."

I pressed my lips into a thin line.

Why was I being blamed like I was the reason why the marriage failed? When it the first place, it shouldn't have even happened?

"Nagawa mo pang magsinungaling sa korte!" sabi ng nanay niya. "Hindi ako naniniwala na nagawa mo lahat ng 'yon. I cannot believe this, Samuel! Why do you insist on sabotaging your life for her?!"

"Can we talk about this at home?" Samuel asked.

"Why? Because you want to protect her feelings?"

Samuel briefly closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. "Can we please just leave?" he asked. "You are disrupting her work."

"No, Samuel. We're going to talk about this here. You are already married. Work things out with your wife. That's what you should do."

Hindi nagsalita si Samuel.

Tumingin siya sa akin. "I'm very sorry," he told me.

"Why are you apologizing to her, Samuel?" his mom asked. "She's the one causing—"

"I already said no, Ma!" he shouted after being calm for as long as he could. "Deanne had nothing to do with this. We haven't talked in years, Ma. In years. Shanelle's the one who dragged her into this, so if you want someone to blame, go to Shanelle."

Mariiing umiling siya. "Because you pushed her into a corner."

"No," Samuel said while shaking his head. "And I'm not discussing this with you anymore. Let's go."

"Samuel—"

"I said I am not discussing this with you anymore!" pagsigaw niya. "Ma, I am not a child. You cannot control my life. This is my life; this is my marriage—I get to decide what happens."

"No," Mrs. Fortalejo said. Tumingin siya sa akin. "See what you are doing? You are destroying families."

"Deanne has nothing to do with this. Why won't you listen? Matagal na kaming hiwalay ni Shanelle, Ma. This is just a mere formality—"

"There is no annulment in the bible—"

"Maybe, but there is divorce," Samuel replied. "And since there is no divorce in the Philippines, annulment should do."

"Do not twist the bible in your favor, Samuel."

"No," Samuel said, shaking his head. "I am done with your hypocrisy, Ma. The Lord wants people to be happy. He would not want people to be trapped in a miserable marriage. He would—"

Mrs. Fortalejo clutched her hand against her chest. I saw the panic in Samuel's face.

"Can we please leave?" mahinang sabi niya sa nanay niya.

Umiling siya. "You do not leave a marriage just because you are unhappy, Samuel."

"Then should I just be miserable for the rest of my life?"

The question was met with silence.

"Ma, please... Umuwi na kayo sa Abra..."

Mrs. Fortalejo looked like she was struggling to breathe.

"It's my fault, Ma..."

Agad akong napatingin sa pinto nang marinig ko iyong boses ni Shanelle. Fuck. I forgot that we have an appointment today.

"Please don't blame Samuel," she said.

"No, hija. It's not your fault—"

"I'm gay, Ma. I have a girlfriend. I'm so sorry."

**

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