Chapter 26

"Atty. Manjarrez," pagtawag sa akin. I stretched my arms as I yawned. Tumingin ako sa secretary ko kahit sa totoo lang ay antuk na antok pa rin ako dahil sa dami ng binasa ko kagabi. Ewan ko ba... minsan gusto ko na magpa-seminar sa mga tao. Like... please don't get married unless you're a hundred percent certain. Mahal magpa-annul. Saka mahirap. Nakaka-stress. Nakaka-ubos ng hiya minsan. Halos iparada na sa korte lahat ng issue niyong mag-asawa.

Pwede naman maglive-in muna... Tapos kung ayos, e 'di magpakasal na. Hindi iyong papa-kasal tapos 'di naman pala compatible magsama sa bahay forever—biglang ayaw pala sa ganyan, hindi pala ganoon kahaba ang pasensya sa ganito. Ending, laging nagbabangayan.

Sakit sa ulo kahit 'yan ang pinili kong trabaho.

Ewan ko ba kung bakit ako napunta rito. Siguro kasi attracted ako sa kaguluhan. Gusto ko na maraming iniisip para walang time magmuni-muni tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay.

"Ma-dedelay lang daw po 'yung next appointment niyo," sabi niya.

I nodded. "Okay," I said, stretching my arms. I yawned again na nahawa na siya sa akin. I was about to ask her to get me a coffee, but figured out that I needed to stand up and to walk around and to stretch a little. Feeling ko talaga anytime ay makaka-tulog na lang ako.

"Pa-call na lang ako kapag nandyan na. Punta lang ako d'yan sa coffee shop," I told her. Alam niya naman kung saan ako pupunta.

I grabbed my purse and walked outside of the office. I had a small private practice with five of my friends from law school... super unlikely, to be honest. Never kami naging classmates sa buong law school. Naging close lang kami nung review center. I chose a different review center—iba sa usually kinukuha ng mga ka-batch ko. Most of them opted to go to review centers known for producing the topnotchers.

Me? I just wanted to elsewhere.

Iyong wala akong kakilala.

Iyong walang magtatanong sa akin kung nasaan si ganyan.

I just wanted some freaking peace dahil hindi ko alam kung paano ako magrereview na may mga ganoong bagay na gugulo sa isip ko.

Nung una, dalawa lang kami. Walang gustong sumama sa amin kasi gets naman namin na hindi advisable magtayo ng firm lalo na kung wala ka pa namang napapatunayan. But we already tried the law firm life... and it was draining as hell. Feel ko tumanda ako ng ten years sa isang taon ko roon. Granted na marami akong natutunan talaga, I just didn't think that it was worth all the headache and the fact that I got hospitalized three times that year dahil sa sobrang pagod.

I had to make a change or else feel ko iyon ang papatay sa akin.

So, I built my practice with my friend. During the first two months, wala kaming client. As in. Notaryo lang ata ang nagawa namin. And then we had one client... At dahil nag-iisa lang siya, siya ang focus naming dalawa. I guess natuwa siya sa resulta. It's true that word of mouth is the best advertisement. She told her friends about us.

And the rest was history.

We're not some big shot firm, but we're good with our practice. We control our time—and I believed that that's the best part of it.

Dumiretso ako sa coffee shop. It was busy that morning. Pumila ako. I usually just order my iced latte... but since mahaba iyong pila, I decided to shake things up a little. Naka-tingin lang ako sa menu habang nagdedecide kung ano ang oorderin ko.

After I ordered, sakto na mayroong umalis kaya naman pumwesto ako roon habang naghihintay sa order ko. Most people in the coffee shop were professionals working in the vicinity. They all looked stressed... very familiar dahil feel ko ganyan din ang itsura ko dati.

Oh, times have changed! Stress-free na ako!

"Yes, I need to do this... Samuel can't do this to me..."

I hated how the mere mention of that name was enough to catch my attention. It was just a common freaking name. Ilang milyon sa mundo ang may pangalan na Samuel. 'Di naman siya special. Bakit ba bigla na lang akong kinabahan kahit nabanggit lang naman ang pangalan nung epal na 'yon?

"I'll be fine, I promise..." sabi ulit nung babae sa may likuran ko.

Usually, hobby ko talaga makinig sa usapan ng mga tao sa paligid ko. Wala namang nasasaktan sa ginagawa ko. Saka para lang akong nakikinig sa teleserye sa radio. Favorite ko iyong mga nag-aaway na magjowa. Minsan gusto ko na nga lang sumabat at sabihin na 'iwan mo na 'yan! 'Di mo deserve!' kaso ang weird naman.

But for some reason, ayokong makinig ngayon. Wala lang. Pagod na nga ako, tapos maririnig ko pa pangalan nung epal na 'yon? 'Di naman ako bobo.

"I'm just trying to gather myself," sabi niya ulit. "I'm actually already late for my appointment," she continued. Medyo napa-kunot ang noo ko. "I just need to know my options. I know Samuel already talked to a family lawyer. He wants annulment."

Halos mapa-talon ako sa kinauupuan ko nang marinig ko iyong pagtawag sa pangalan ko nung barista. Hindi pa naman ako nagkakape ngayong araw pero kinakabahan na ako. Mabilis akong tumayo at lumapit doon. I gave him my receipt and grabbed my coffee.

Maraming Samuel sa mundo. 'Di naman 'yun 'yung Samuel ko—Samuel ko?!

Wow, ha!

After everything he said, ang tanga-tanga ko na lang talaga kung aangkinin ko pa siya. Baka maglagay na lang ako ng poster: looking for: nawawalang dignidad.

Lumabas na ako sa coffee shop para bumalik sa office ko. I was trying to salvage my morning by enjoying my iced coffee nang mapa-hinto ako nang mapansin ko na may naka-tingin sa akin na babae. She looked really beautiful. I mean, I know a lot of beautiful women, but this one needed to be specifically mentioned.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," I replied, a little confused.

"I'm Shanelle Nuevas," she said. She looked so familiar... I must've seen her somewhere. I stared at her, but I immediately stopped myself dahil baka bigla akong maging creepy. I straightened myself up and acted like the professional that I am.

"Okay..." sabi ko. "I'm Deanne Manjarrez," I introduced myself.

"I know," she said. "I'm actually here for an appointment with you."

"Oh..." I smiled out of politeness. I wasn't briefed kung ano ang pag-uusapan naming dalawa. I was just told by my assistant na may appointment ako ngayon. But I mainly practice family law, so malamang sa malamang ay tungkol doon. I wouldn't dream of holding some other case na hindi ko naman forte. Ayokong maka-sira ng buhay ng tao.

Her phone vibrated. Sinabi niya sa akin na sasagutin niya lang daw iyon. I nodded and quietly enjoyed my coffee. 'Di ko kasi alam kung bastos ba kung iiwan ko na lang siya tapos magkita na lang kami sa office? 'Di naman kasi ako nagcoconsultation sa gitna ng kalsada.

Nandoon lang ako sa isang gilid at umiinom ng kape ko. I really didn't know if I should wait for her or what kaya naman bumalik na lang ako sa coffee shop at bumili ng cookie doon. I bought two so that I could offer one for her—feel ko 'di naman niya tatanggapin, but just in case.

I got two oatmeal cookies and then got another iced coffee. I usually consume three a day. Panghapon na siguro iyong isa pa.

Paglabas ko ay hinanap ko kung nasaan iyong prospect client ko nang mapa-hinto ako. My eyes widened when I saw a very familiar figure standing right before her.

Fuck.

Parang... parang gusto ko na lang lumubog sa lupa nang ma-realize ko na tama ako.

Suddenly, I was on fight or flight mode. I debated internally kung magtatago na lang ba ako at aalis. I really didn't want to deal with him.

We dated back in law school.

He failed the BAR.

He blamed it on me.

Ako ba iyong nag-exam? Nasa akin ba 'yung sign pen? Bakit kasalanan ko? Ginawa ko naman lahat para suportahan siya.

Pero bago pa man ako makapagdecide kung ano ang gagawin ko, napa-tingin siya sa gawi ko. His eyes widened a little upon realizing na hindi siya naghahallucinate at ako talaga iyong nakikita niya. Good. Mahiya siya sa akin. Ang kapal-kapal ng mukha niya. Gusto kong hubarin iyong sapatos ko at ihagis sa mukha niya.

Matagal ko nang iniisip kung ano ang magiging reaksyon ko kapag nakita ko siya—matutuwa ba ako? Maeexcite? Manghihinayang? I was awfully curious...

But now that he's here? It was like waves of memories came crashing back. Naalala ko lahat ng nangyari na parang kahapon lang sila.

How I almost failed a class trying to be there for him.

How I had to put a smile on my face trying to cheer him up.

How I wanted to still be there to tell him that failing the BAR wasn't the end of the world—that he could take it again.

Na hindi naman kabawasan sa pagkatao ang pagreretake ng exam.

Pero ano ang napala ko?

Tangina, Deanne... Mukha kang tanga dati. 'Wag mo nang uulitin 'yan. Pag-ibig na 'yan... Saksak ko 'yan sa baga mo, e. Magtrabaho ka lang nang mabuti.

"She's... your lawyer?" tanong ni Samuel habang naka-tingin sa akin. Hindi ko mabasa kung ano ang nasa isip niya. Hindi ko rin alam kung gusto ko bang basahin kasi baka masaktan lang ako kagaya nung dati nang sabihin niya sa akin lahat ng nasa isip niya.

Ang tagal niya palang tinago 'yon.

"Yes," sagot ni Shanelle.

Umawang ang labi niya. "Sha—" Samu said, but stopped. Napa-suklay siya sa buhok niya na parang mas lumambot pa sa paglipas ng panahon. I remembered back then when I would play with his hair kapag—

Oh, god.

Stop fucking thinking about him like that. Kasal na nga, oh. Wala akong balak maging kabit. At this point, my license's all that I have. Wala akong balak makipaghiwalay sa lisensya ko.

"No," he continued, shaking his head.

"What do you mean no?" Shanelle asked like she was taunting him.

"You know—" sabi niya at napa-hinto. Tapos ay muli siyang napa-tingin sa gawi ko. His jaw clenched. "Unbelievable. This is unbelievable, Shanelle," he uttered under his breath before he walked away.

Hindi ako maka-galaw.

Naka-tayo lang ako roon habang hawak ko iyong kape ko at cookies nung lumapit sa akin si Shanelle.

"Sorry you had to witness that," she said. "That was my husband," she continued. I felt my heart skip a beat. Pakiramdam ko, kahit hindi dapat, ay namatay ako sa isang segundo na iyon. "He wants to file for an annulment and I want you to be my lawyer."

My lips parted. Was she... asking me to be the counsel in my ex-boyfriend's annulment proceeding? Tumingin ako sa paligid ko. Where were the freaking cameras? Because this has got to be some kind of a prank!

"Atty. Manjarrez," she called nang hindi ako makapagsalita.

"Y-yes," I said when I barely gathered myself.

"Can we discuss this in your office?"

I stared at the woman before me once again.

I heard Samuel got married. I clearly remembered the day because I got so drunk na muntik na akong malunod sa dagat na dati naming nilalanguyang dalawa. Mabuti na lang at nandun si Don para hatakin ako pabalik sa dalampasigan.

But I was so drunk that day.

I forced myself to believe that I was just drunk—na hindi totoo na kasal siya. Na imagination ko lang lahat ng nangyari. Na hindi pa rin kasal si Samuel. Na nagta-trabaho lang siya.

Maybe dating, but not married... because marriage felt so... final.

Na wala na talaga kaming pag-asang dalawa.

"Okay," wala sa sarili na sabi ko.

I felt like I was on autopilot mode habang naglalakad kaming dalawa pabalik sa office hanggang maka-pasok kami sa mismong opisina ko. I was staring at her yet again... and I hated my mind for envisioning her in a wedding dress.

That that should've been me.

No.

Ayoko.

Tama na 'yung dati.

"So... do you have any question for me?" tanong niya sa akin.

I drew a deep breath. 'Be professional,' I reminded myself. This was work. I needed to learn how to separate work from my personal... feelings, for lack of a better term.

"What can I do for you?" tanong ko sa kanya gaya ng tanong ko sa ibang mga nagiging kliyente ko.

"As I have said earlier, my husband wants to file for an annulment and I want you to be my lawyer."

I bit my tongue as I drew another deep breath. "Okay."

"Okay? You're accepting my case?"

"I need to hear the facts first to know if I'll accept the case."

Tumingin siya sa akin. "What do you want to know?" she asked.

"Everything," I replied.

"Everything?" she repeated.

Tumango ako. "Start from the beginning," I said. "How did you two meet?" I asked, telling myself that I was just doing my job, that I was just being professional, that I was not asking this to satisfy my own fucking curiosity. 

**
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