You completely know the power that you have

The only one makes me laugh

Sad and it's not fair

How you take advantage of the fact

That I

Love you beyond the reason why

And it just ain't right

– Hate that I love you, Rihanna ft. Ne-Yo

Jimin met Jungkook in middle school. He was two years younger than him. They've been friends first and by the end of high school became lovers when Jungkook confessed to him after a sports day meet.

He didn't know when he fell in love with the youngest. Ever since he became aware of his sexuality, Jungkook was the only one who starred in his dreams. He had crushed on him and struggled to hide his true feelings from him for ages. Then one-day Jungkook had pulled him aside and told him that he liked him and wanted him to be his boyfriend when he was old enough.

Jimin got into college with a full-ride scholarship for dance and a minor in business while Jungkook was still in school. However, life was bliss. Jungkook was very mature for his age and always knew what he wanted.

Their relationship was a secret with only Jungkook's three cousins knowing about it. One of them, Taehyung, had moved to Busan for college and they were in the same year. Those years were wonderful and full of fun.

Jungkook was extremely possessive and could go overboard with his jealousy. He was stubborn as a mule and once he set his mind to something there was no changing it. He acted rashly most of the time and regretted it later, but underneath that hard exterior was a heart as big as his palm.

They always argued because of Jungkook's short temper and jealousy that irked Jimin often. Jungkook didn't like people getting too close to Jimin and the older had often told him off for behaving like a caveman. Jungkook would sulk for days after their fight and Jimin would spend those days trying to kiss it better. However, at the end of the day, he was his boyfriend, who loved him dearly.

As all good things came to an end, Jungkook's parents found out and were forcing him to leave Busan. Jungkook was sure that if he left then he'd never meet Jimin again. His parents would see to it. So he decided they should elope.

Jimin wasn't ready to leave everything behind. He worked hard for his entire life and he had just graduated when it happened. As a topper in his class, he already had a few companies ready to take him and was ready to move to Seoul if needed. He had a promising future here.

He even believed Jungkook's decision was reckless and tried to talk him out of it, even going as far as to work for both of their behalfs. He thought Jungkook was being unreasonable for wanting to uproot their lives from here and start over somewhere.

Jungkook's backup plan was to move to the United States where he had friends through whom he had arranged for a visa. He even applied to transfer to an American university and take entrance exams to a few despite Jimin's protests.

Jimin was unsure how they'd survive there. Unlike Jungkook who was fluent in English, he didn't even understand half of it. He didn't know how he'd make it out in a foreign land. The fear of the unknown and uncertainty had gripped him hard and made the decision-making even harder.

They had fought over this for months before Jungkook gave him an ultimatum. During those months, Jungkook had forced Jimin to apply for a visa and take an interview. Jimin was sure he was going to fail, but he didn't know what strings Jungkook pulled to get him through.

The last day he saw Jungkook was the night he came over to finalize their plans. That night Jungkook's voice had rung with finality and Jimin had never seen him that angry. Even then, Jimin pleaded for him to reconsider.

Jungkook being the stubborn ass he refused to respond to his phone calls or text messages and avoided him. Only telling him that he will be waiting for him at the train station and if he failed to turn up, he will consider they were done.

Jimin was desperate. His attempts to make him see a reason failed and with no choice, he decided to leave everything behind. Jungkook already had his visa and everything ready. He just had to make it to the railway station with his passport and a bag of clothes along with his certificates.

However, on his way to the railway station, a drunken car driver had run into the side of his taxi, sending them tumbling down the bridge. It was a miracle that he even survived. The driver didn't make it.

That night, as Jimin lay trapped in the burning car fighting for his life, Jungkook was the only thought in his mind. He wanted to hear his voice. More than the fear of losing his life, the fear of not being able to make it to the railway station on time and thereby losing Jungkook had gripped his heart. It was that fear that made him mumble that he had to go to the railway station over and over until he passed out.

Jimin often wondered what would have happened if he hadn't survived at all. Would Jungkook ever learn that he had chosen him? Would he find out that Jimin was on his way to the railway station? Would he ever know that the only reason he couldn't make it was because he was in an accident and dying?

He brushed off the tears. There were days where he dreamed of reaching the railway station on time, starting a new life with Jungkook abroad. Both struggling to make ends meet in a foreign land, but still went to bed with a smile because they had each other. They even adopted a ginger cat like Jimin always wanted to and named him Henry. It was a nice dream.

Sometimes death felt far too easy compared to the pain he suffered through the years. His dreams had all broken and crumbled. There was no going back. The dancer Park Jimin was no more.

Jimin had lost everything in a matter of hours, his dream, his life, and his love. Still there he was, sitting in a plane bound toward Italy, hoping to get a glimpse of his love marrying someone else.

How pathetic could he get? Was he that desperate? He was.

Did Jungkook love her? How did they meet? Did they go on cute dates? Does he hold her hands like he used to do with me? Do they lie on rooftops late at night and watch stars like they did? Did Jungkook take her for a long drive on his bike? Did he bring her ice cream and snacks in the middle of the night just because she had a bad day? Did he hold her and tell her she was the most beautiful person in this world? Did he kiss her forehead every morning and brush their noses before he went to work?

His throat tightened and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying again. What was he doing? Why was he thinking about this? It didn't matter what Jungkook did with her.

He wasn't jealous. Not in the least. He had come into terms with his life long ago. It shouldn't matter anymore. He was just happy that Jungkook found his happiness in someone else. He deserved only the best. Still, it hurt because it wasn't Jimin. It would never be him.

He would never be able to smell that fragrance of fresh cotton and fabric conditioner again. He would never be able to relish the way Jungkook's chest vibrated against his cheek when he talked. He would never feel those soft lips against his again. He would never have Jungkook looking at him like he was his entire universe. He would no longer receive those random love notes he would leave for him to find out.

The more time he had to let this wedding sink in, the more it hurt. He would forever miss the way Jungkook spoke to him when they made love. He always made him feel special and cherished.

These days when Jimin lay awake late at nights, he sometimes swore he could still feel Jungkook's gentle touches and the whisper of kisses he used to litter over his skin. The way he would break him before putting him together every night they spent together. It all would now remain as a memory.

Jimin knew Jungkook would be furious and hate him even. However, maybe this was his chance to come clean to Jungkook. It wasn't like he didn't try to contact him before. He tried. As soon as he woke from his coma, he tried to call Jungkook only to realize he had left.

They planned to disappear and start over. Jimin knew he wouldn't find Jungkook even if he searched high and low, far and wide.

He sighed looking out of the plane's window. The business class was comfortable and there was enough room to stretch his legs. They hurt when he stayed in the same position for too long.

When did Jungkook reconnect with his family? The internet search showed he now worked in his family-owned business. Something he once told he would never do.

Was Jungkook happy? Did he ever make it as a photographer he always wanted to be?

Jungkook looked so different now. In the years they had been apart, he'd grown up into a man he always wanted to be. He'd seen a few photos that took his breath away. Jungkook's chest was now broad and there were more tattoos on his skin. His facial features were now more defined with sharp edges.

Still, he had the same thin lips with that cute mole Jimin always loved to kiss. He had the same nose Jimin loved to trace before dropping a kiss on his cupid bow. His hair was now long and wavy. Jimin wondered if it was still silky soft to touch.

Did Jungkook allow her to touch his hair the same way Jimin always did?

Shit. He should really stop this for the sake of his sanity. He exhaled loudly and read the recent interview of Jungkook in a business magazine for the sixth time during the flight. He traced his beautiful features printed on the pages with a smile.

You changed so much.

There were so many things he wanted to ask him. Did he still love photography? Did he like working in a company? He used to hate wearing suits. But all the recent images he found of Jungkook was all him in different suits. Did he still wear those oversized hoodies and pants anymore? Did he still enjoy eating late night ramen?

Jimin wasn't sure if he would get answers to any of them. He knew Jungkook like the back of his palm. The youngest didn't invite him to the wedding to catch up on their lives. He was doing this to hurt Jimin in the worst way possible. He knew Jimin was sensitive. Jungkook knew exactly how much this meant to Jimin. But he couldn't bring himself to be angry at Jungkook even if tried. He just loved him a bit too much.

Jimin was a willing participant. As much as it hurt him, he was going. Therefore, he could see Jungkook one last time. Even if Jungkook didn't give him the time of the day, he hoped to put whatever was left behind him and to move on with what life he had left.

He could do this, right? He had to do this. It was too late to go back now. And like that the Italian landscape came into his view.

***

Jungkook paced in his suite like a caged animal. He had spent an hour in the gym boxing the shit out of the punching bag, but that had nothing to lessen his frustration or mounting anger.

His hyungs have chastised him enough ever since they landed in Italy. The wedding planner had exceeded his expectations with everything and his family was in awe. They praised him for putting everything together. No expenses were spared.

He hadn't even checked in with Hyewa if she had any opinion on the theme. After all, this wasn't what they'd have wanted. This was all that Jimin wanted. What he described during one of the nights they lay stargazing on the roof of Jimin's uncle's place.

Jungkook still remembered that night as it was yesterday. He personally saw through every arrangement and made sure everything was perfect. Yesterday when he showed Hyewa around, she had taken everything in stride and hadn't commented on anything.

If he was in the right mindset and wasn't too focused on Jimin, he'd have bothered to ask if everything was okay; if she had anything else in her mind.

But she had agreed to the wedding, didn't she? This was as much as a business proposal to her as it was for him. Their parents had been friends and business acquaintances for years. He had known her since childhood though they had never been close.

Jungkook hadn't dated in seven years. During the initial months of their breakup, Jungkook tried so badly to move on and forget Jimin. He even tried to hook up with random strangers, but never got past a few kisses.

Their lips weren't as soft as Jimin's. They didn't smile with their entire body and their eyes didn't look like crescents. They didn't smell like the softest peaches and flowers. And sure they didn't sound like him. No. They weren't him. No one can ever be him. Jimin had ruined him for anyone to even think about dating or hooking up again.

He couldn't even look at anyone without thinking about Jimin first. His hyungs told him that he was obsessed with Jimin and he had to let go. But Jungkook couldn't. He wouldn't. He was stubborn for a reason.

Even now as he thought about Jimin, all he could think was what he did these days. If he had a new boyfriend. He hadn't told anyone how relieved he was to find out that Jimin was attending the wedding alone and wouldn't bring a plus one. Jungkook didn't think he'd have been able to pull through that.

Did Jimin become the dancer he always wanted to be? He was so talented and already had several companies scouting him. Why did he settle in Busan?

His hyungs spent several nights trying to persuade him this was a bad idea. That this wasn't healthy behavior and Hyewa didn't deserve this. However, Jungkook vowed himself that he will try to love her after their wedding and will try to be a good husband for her.

Jimin might own his heart but he'd try. Even though it hurt him like a bitch he'd try to be loyal to his wife. He would never hurt her knowingly. Now that there were only a couple of hours before the brunch, he waited on pins and needles, readying him for the encounter.

He kept rehearsing what he wanted to say to Jimin. How he would behave.

Jungkook had weeks to prepare for this moment. After all, he planned everything, didn't he? He decided he wouldn't show Jimin how affected he was because of this entire thing. He would be happy and kill Jimin with kindness.

Yeah, that sounded right. He would treat Jimin as he would treat any friend. Remind him of their good old days.

He knew Jimin too well. Jimin was used to his anger and would even expect it. But he won't get that from Jungkook. No. Jungkook only fought with people he loved a bit too much. So he wouldn't give that pleasure to Jimin.

Besides, being angry would cause unnecessary drama and he owed that much to Hyewa. The wedding came only once in a lifetime, at least for Jungkook. Moreover, as much as he jumped into this thing irrationally with just one thought in mind, he would own up to his mistakes and would at least do right by her.

With a sigh, he stopped pacing and hit the shower.

***

Jimin didn't remember when or how Venice became his favorite place. Maybe it was after watching a travel documentary that showed the splendid city built over hundreds of tiny islands surrounded by water. He had felt an odd sense of connection to the place and had decided he wanted to get married there one day.

He had only landed but the city was already breathtaking from what he saw on his way from the airport to the luxurious hotel. Jungkook's team had taken care of his visa, tickets, and accommodation. It must have cost a fortune.

After weeks of giving himself a pep talk, Jimin decided he would take what he could get. He wasn't an optimistic person in general, especially after his accident but years of therapy had taught him to look at life from a different perspective.

If it was for him, he'd never travel this far. Heck, he wouldn't even go out of Busan. This was his first trip out of the city after his accident. So he had decided he'd make the most out of it during his trip.

The city was stunning with marble palaces, ancient churches, canals, and waterways. The glimpse he caught alone excited him to no end. He couldn't wait to explore the city during his short stay. He didn't know how much he would be able to do once he reached the hotel. If he didn't end up having another breakdown and holed up inside his room, he was determined to try at least the food here before he left.

His chauffeur was a Korean immigrant who lived in Italy all his life. Jimin learned that he worked for the wedding organizer Jungkook had hired. The man was so excited to meet another Korean and explained about the city on their way, showing him all the places they crossed.

Belmond Hotel Cipriani in Giudecca was comprised eight islands. The chauffeur, Kangmin told him the Hollywood star George Clooney and Amal got married here. The venue overlooked Doge's Palace and St. Mark's square. Kangmin pointed them out to him while telling everything he knew about them. Jimin listened intently, trying to commit everything to his memory.

"We have shuttle service for all our guests. You just have to contact the reception if you want to head out for sightseeing and someone will be here to accompany you," Kangmin said as he dropped him off at the hotel.

Jimin thanked him as a bell boy came to take his luggage. He only had one suitcase. He was going to be here for a week. There was a bachelor party, the wedding and then the reception. Not to mention all the chaos that was involved with the wedding. He was told by the wedding organizing team that he would be provided with a suit to wear for the wedding to fit the theme they had planned. That alone told him how much freaking money was flowing here.

His palms grew sweaty around his elbow crutch. Up until now, he was distracted by the scenery and excitement to be out and about after seven years. But now that he was here, the reality of the situation was slowly dawning on him. With a sinking feeling, he realized he wasn't ready.

His heart felt like it was about to jump out of his chest as the bellboy led him through the door. The interior was breathtaking with its intricate design and delicate artifacts. Jimin half expected someone he knew to pop out of nowhere. He prayed that he had at least some time before he ran into any of them.

The staff at the reception verified his ID and passport before ushering him to the VIP elevator and then to his room. No, he shouldn't have called it a room too soon. It was a fucking suite with a king-sized bed, a separate sitting area, and a small kitchen. He hadn't even ventured out to the balcony or the ensuite bathroom because the luxury of this place had left him speechless.

He could see why this was such a sought-after location for weddings. The balcony offered a perfect view of the gardens and panoramic lagoons. Jimin didn't think he would recover from any of this soon.

The event schedule was on the table along with a few other things. Jimin was once again stunned to realize how detailed everything was. They even had a fucking theme and a dress code for a simple dinner. Some required business casual for men while others needed suits. Jimin was glad he decided to buy two suits before packing for the trip. It chipped away some of his savings but he didn't have any regret.

His entire life was filled with regrets. If he were, to be honest with himself, there wasn't a moment in the past seven years where he did not regret anything. As a New Year resolution, he had vowed to not regret anything anymore. He believed everything happened in life for a reason.

So what if he couldn't dance anymore? So what if his coordination was shit because he lost the hearing and vision of his right ear and eye respectively? He was still able to see, hear and move around without anyone's help. That had to count for something, right?

He took a deep breath. Relax, Jimin. You promised you won't dwell too much on things anymore. You're enough. You have come a long way. This is your reality. There is no point in crying over spilled milk. You have to make the best out of—

A knock distracted him from his pep talk. "Come in."

An attendant came inside. "Sir, all the wedding guests are requested for brunch in the Cipriani room seven."

"Oh, okay." Jimin looked down at himself. He had chosen to go with a white button-up with long sleeves and blue jeans. "What's the dress code?" He looked down at the sheet in his hand, searching for the said event.

"It's business casual, sir. You are in the right attire," the man in his early twenties said as if reading his thoughts.

Jimin nodded. The people here seemed extremely polite and he welcomed it. "I just reached. I'll be there after freshening up."

"Sure, sir." He inclined his head and exited the room.

Jimin ran a hand through his black hair. He hadn't dyed his hair in seven years. He saw no point in it; his life was colorless as it was. What a little dye was going to change for him? Hannah suggested it when he was packing and he contemplated it for a while before shrugging it off. Because nothing was going to change.

Once this wedding was over, he'd be back to his little hole, where he'd live the rest of his life in perfect solidarity. His throat tightened as he went to the bathroom, checking his reflection and running his fingers through his hair to settle a few strands that were out of place. The makeup covering the scars on the right side of his face was still intact. He looked this way and that way. Nothing was out of place.

His contacts were brown in color. He was practically blind without it, but no one had to know that. It was beginning to irritate his eye after wearing it for so long. Without his contacts, his right eye that had lost its original brown color during the accident looked pale and ghastly. A person staring at him for longer than he needed was the last thing he wanted.

He patted his pant's pockets where he always had a pair of glasses as a backup in case something happened to his contacts. Jimin was clumsy by nature and now with his right side sensory organs practically helpless, he was bound to more minor accidents. After seven years, one would think Jimin was used to it. But it was never easy.

The way his limbs moved whenever the music played and his mind often traveled back to the dance studio told he still hadn't come into terms with certain aspects of his new life. With it came despair and that helplessness before the pain of what he lost consumed him.

Jimin swallowed.

Don't go there, Jimin. You're in a better place now. You can do this.

He put on the aviator sunglasses that were the shade of light brown and took a few deep breaths.

I can do this.

It's just Jungkook.

His grip on his crutch was so tight that he worried it would leave a permanent indent though it was impossible.

Let's do this.