Hope you guys are hanging in there!

Like this story, life is a mess. You just need to remember that you're not the only one and there will be those who help you stay on your feet, right when everything's falling apart, even if it's just to say: they're there and you're not alone.

---

"You good?"

I bit my lip from slapping the person in front of me. I swear, if another person asks me if I'm okay, I'm going to kill them.

"Finn, let's go man."

I watched as Finn nod at me before patting my back. Then he walked away, Drake by his side with a few other boys. They'd come as soon as they heard about what happened. But, like everyone else, they had to leave, promising that they'd come by once everything's calm.

I didn't want to know how calm things will turn out.

Mostly because no one's been saying anything. He had a few ribs broken too, and they used big words to describe his crushed lungs. Then they listed the bruise he had on his arms, which weren't bad apparently because they were just scratches from when he rolled over to the side of the road.

After mum left me alone to fill the forms, I'd found a second to calm down and call Mason. He agreed to call Helena and tell her. Then, after a few more minutes to sitting there in front of the room they took Max in, Helena was rushing in, her face covered in tears, Mason and Katie behind her, equally confused and hurt.

Katie was at my side the whole time. Didn't let me go. Didn't ask anything. Mum did all the talking. The adults talked about the fees. Derek finally came after Katie called. Dad came as soon as he got off work. Helena sat on my left while Katie was permanent on my right.

Then they had Max wheeled to another room nearby. I didn't get to stand up and look closely, but he was covered in hospital clothes, things were attached to him and there were nurses covering around his bed. The doctor followed behind, explaining things to mum and dad.

Helena broke down again and I followed after.

Then, after an hour or so, the adults wanted to know what happened so badly. So I told them.

I told them that I called Max over after fighting with Katie and mum. And when we were about to meet up at the park next to the theatres, he was crossing the road when I clearly yelled out to wait.

Then I fell asleep into blankness on Katie's lap.

After what felt like forever, and it was, they were waking me up, because the doctor had walked out, saying that Max was stable and the surgery went well. He didn't say more and walked away.

Then a nurse came out and explained what was going to happen. How they were going to move him to a normal room after a few hours and we needed to stay calm. Then we were waiting again.

Helena was okay now, brushing away the few tears that kept slipping. Mum was assuring her, telling her that she told her so. That Max was okay.

I was still replaying how it'd been when I had no idea what was going to happen to him.

It was like I had no control over myself.

Thinking about Max made me think of grandma May.

I remember praying so hard to let her be normal again. I remember the days I was with her at the hospital room, every day, wishing that the next would be better.

What had been different?

I didn't know.

"Alan," mum placed a soft hand on my shoulder. "You should go home with dad."

I frowned. "No."

"Alan, you can come back whenever you want—"

"No, mum I want to stay." I could feel the waterworks coming again and cursed at myself for being such a baby. "What if he wakes up?"

She smiled, shaking me a little. "Then you get back as soon as you've showered and freshened up. Maybe get a bit of sleep before you do."

And after some persuasion and Katie promising to come with me, I was back home. Katie walked beside me while dad went somewhere, promising that he'd be there to drive us back.

When we walked in, the first thing I noticed was how disordered the kitchen counter was with coloured papers everywhere along with scissors and party poppers everywhere. I also noticed the tray of empty cupcake holders at the side.

A look at Katie got her explaining that they were for the plan of her apology, like I'd asked. Before everything happened.

She pulled me along to the bathroom and I showered. I changed into better clothes that didn't have blood on me. Then, when I turned to walk out of my room, Katie was standing there with her arms crossed.

"So, aren't you going to tell me?"

I stared. "What?"

Katie rolled her eyes, walking in. "Really Alan? You think I wouldn't notice? Mum and dad might not, but I know that you're not saying everything that happened."

I gulped and she sighed.

"Look, I'm not a villain and I'm not looking for ways to hurt my brother more than what he's already going through. But, the doubt is so obvious, I just need you to say it."

I looked away, leaning on the dressing table behind me. She took a seat on my bed and patted the side. I didn't follow.

"Why did you call Max after fighting with me?"

I stared at the ground, wishing that I didn't have a sister. I guess, not really. I just didn't want to talk.

"Fine, tell me that you told the girl you were meeting up with that you couldn't."

I stayed quiet. Then I shrugged. She could think whatever she wanted.

"You didn't? So, you stood her up?"

I shrug again.

Katie sighed. "Okay, I think it's best if you call her." As if Max is gonna' pick up. "So she doesn't worry or get the wrong idea."

I didn't say anything yet again.

"I'm sorry Alan. I was a shitty sister." She paused but continued when she realised that I wasn't going to talk. "I just hope you understand that I'll understand whatever it is that you're hiding from us. As long as it isn't something illegal," she added fast after. "Then I'm really going to have to scold you as preplanned."

She tried to get me to laugh with her.

"Alan, I love you, you know that right?"

I love you Alan.

I sighed, bowing my head. The necklace came into view and I wondered if he'd remember saying it to me. Would he remember what happened?

Don't they say that the person involved in the accident forgets what causes the accident? And they forget whoever they were thinking of at that moment.

Wait.

Doesn't that mean Max was thinking about me?

Shit.

Does that mean he won't remember?

What won't he remember?

Would he remember before we got together?

Would he forget me fully?

Shit.

Fuck.

That's not good.

Shit.

"Alan."

I looked up to see Katie give me a pitied smile.

"You seem really close to Max."

I didn't flinch. I waited for her to say something absurd. I mean, wasn't she the one who was annoyed that I hated the guy at the start? And then, when she thinks I'm doing drugs, it's his fault?

And now, he might not remember me.

Fuck my life.

"Get some rest Alan." Katie finally stood up walking out of my room, that I didn't give permission for her to walk around in. "Everything is going to okay. And I know my words might not mean much to you after the fight we had... but, mum, dad and I... we're all here for you."

She pulled the doorknob to close.

"I'll wake you up in about half an hour and then we can eat and go back to the hospital."

When I didn't respond, she walked away. I did as she told me to though and when I woke up again, it was actually an hour after and dad was driving back as soon as I had a toast in my mouth.

When we got there, Helena wasn't anywhere to be seen, and everyone was at another place from the last place I left Max.

"Don't worry, he's not awake yet." Mum informed me when she saw my confused look. "The doctors said that he'd be awake a few hours after the sedate finishes. And since he had a few damages in the upper half, he's going to have a few days, a week maximum to start moving his whole body and stand up."

I nodded, giving her a small smile.

"Helena's with him right now. You can go see him if you want... after?"

I watched her, wondering if she knew.

"Yeah?"

I nod along and she gives me a short hug before heading over to dad to discuss something with him.

After ten minutes past and I was getting impatient that Helena wasn't coming out. Derek and Mason went home to get some rest before coming planning to come back. I felt bad for Mason because he was as equally devastated as us because his best friend was not in a great condition. Katie decided to stick around with me and surprisingly, Bailey was there too.

She distracted me from wanting to see Max, grumpy at me that I didn't tell her about the accident and she only knew after Katie had called. Then, when she realised how desperate I was to go in, and getting a nonexistent update on me not telling anyone about Max and I, she let me go.

I walked in slowly, noticing that Helena was facing the sleeping Max on the small stool near him. She turned when she heard me coming in, smiling softly.

"Sorry I took so long."

I bowed my head, feeling like I was the intruder. I guess I was.

"He's okay now, that's all that matters." She let out a heavy breath and I noticed that moment, how old she was. "Gave us all the heart attack, didn't he?"

She laughed softly and I smiled just so she knows that I wasn't trying to be rude.

"I'm going to sit on that sofa, you go talk to him." Then the door opened again. I turned back to see Katie. "Oh, come on in dear. As long as we're not too loud."

"Thank you grandma Helena." Then she looked at me. "Bailey went because her parents were waiting at the carpark. Mum and dad are finishing the paper works and they said they'll go as well so mum to get freshened up."

"Oh, thank the lords dear," Helena jumped in, smiling so brightly at my sister. "If it wasn't for your parents, this would've been a mess for me."

Katie shook her head.

"I'm so thankful."

"No grandma, it's fine. Max's close to all of us, there's no problem." Katie gave me a tight smile and helped Helena sit down before taking a seat as well.

I went to mine on the stool next to the unconscious Max. And after siting around and just staring at him and the place, I checked a few times to see Helena sleeping in an uncomfortable position and Katie engrossed with her phone.

So, I finally knew I wasn't going to have a better situation to say what I wanted to say.

The tubes were out now and he was just sleeping. I leaned forward as slowly as I can and reached for his hand, binding it with mine. They felt so lifeless that I had to make sense the machines were working to assure myself.

Then, a tear slipped out again.

"H-hey..." I whisper quietly, hoping the best that Katie couldn't hear me from the other side of the room. "Wake up idiot."

I secretly wipe my tears with my other hand.

"And don't forget to remember me when you do." The necklace slipped out and I played with it, kissing it softly as if that would speed the process. "Or I'll fucking kill you, fucking Winters."

His facial expressions didn't change.

"Just come back to me before I go insane."

---

Sometimes you think that's it's okay to just let go, but trust me. Ending yourself is not going to make anything better. It's making it worse and among the other things you're ruining by hurting yourself, you're removing the true you from this world, which this earth will definitely mourn over.

Love yourself before anything else.

Love life even through the hardest.

Have a great day everyone and don't forget to vote.