Thank you so much for reading this. I say it every time and I won't get tired. Thank you so much!

---

"So, Max, care to tell us the reason for this wonderful idea?" One of the music girls, leaned forward over the table. But since she couldn't move much, her attempt to show things that were supposed to be kept inside clothes didn't get shown.

I tried to hide my cackle.

Max though, being the perfect guy he tends to be, didn't notice. 

"I told you, I just wanted to share something with a few people before we spilt ways. Can you imagine that some of us used to study together since kindergarten?"

Everyone around him agreed and reminisced the feeling. Of course, the words of oh mighty Max Winters waved people's mind.

I was the only one who could keep himself in check.

Don't be so sure about it, my mind said. I ignored it. I also ignored the fact that the idiotic voice of mine from the inside only made its presence when I was lying to myself.

I wasn't lying to myself.

The feeling of Max up against me, his breath on my skin and the itchy feeling to have his hand on my thigh were not there.

"You're so romantic, I sometimes wonder if you've had all the practice..." that was commented by a girl who usually kept her cool. She sounded as if she knew Max well and seemed to have got on the good side of my team members.

The rest of the girls and dudes, giggled and teased about it. Max ignored the attention in a not so subtle way and I rolled my eyes making sure that he saw it.

"Oh, I'm sure he's had a lot of experience..." said a girl, someone friends of Sarah. 

Somehow, that girl had someone at every place to keep the gossips in check. But, they also were never as active as her and the poor attempt to get Max talking didn't work and everyone ignored her.

I didn't know what to feel about that. I was glad, obviously, and when I noticed that the rest of the guys didn't even pay attention to her comment made me feel proud and satisfied. 

We were showing that we're not the boys that they can mess up. We're grown ups.

After the mini get-together, everyone spread out to have their last bit of fun at the springs and I was red all over on the inside by the time Max got away from me.

I didn't want to admit it, but it was getting harder and harder.

Whatever it was, I was planning to take it to grave with me, if I don't succeed on getting rid of it before that, that is.

The coach and the music teacher soon called everyone in, indicating the bus that'd come to take us back to our boring lives. My eyes were getting tired too, since it was getting dark. 

I tried not to think too much on the fact that Drake hadn't come back to me to get back and stayed behind with a girl, an arm over her shoulder.

I also wasn't going to ruin that for him, so I let it go. But I regretted it when Max Winters stumbled into the seat next to me.

I froze, though my heart was doing to opposite. And the best part, he had no idea about it.

Drake seemed to have noticed that his post was taken, a little surprised when he saw who'd taken it. I pleaded for him to realise that I didn't want to be in the situation, but he turned a blind eye, that fucker.

The bus was on the road after they'd made sure everyone was in it. The girls behind me, surprisingly, still had some energy and started a few songs. My ears were bleeding. I've never listened to so much music in a day.

Suddenly, Paws's fights were the only thing I missed. And my personal space.

Then suddenly, my thoughts were pulled back to reality when I felt someone grab my shoulder. I realised that Max was getting tugged at as well, and by the same girl who'd commented on his romanticism. 

Isabelle, I think. 

She'd been with us since middle school and pretty well known for being practical and mature.

"Hey Max, you haven't played anything since we started the trip. Come on, you have to. You're the main host!"

Everyone heard her speech and cheered. Isabelle didn't let go of our shoulders. Max's eyes met mine for a millisecond and I tried not to notice it. How can I not? We were literally two shoulders apart.

Then of course he had to nod and give in. 

Max perfect Winters finally nudged Isabelle to let us go and reached forward to open his guitar case. The whole bus was silent, the people at the far back peering over to see him settle the instrument on his thigh, getting ready to entertain.

"What'd you like me to play?"

Then the bus was noisy again. 

Everyone sprouted out different words, titles, shouting over one another to get him to pick their request. The coach couldn't bare it any longer and yelled on top of his lungs to quiet down. 

The noise didn't fully mute itself.

Drake, from a few seats forward, leaned up and said, "play a thousand years."

Why is it always that song?!

It almost come out of my mouth but I gulped it back down. I wasn't ready to burry myself into my own grave just yet.

"Oh no," Isabelle said from behind.

The way she was so close to me, never made it feel inappropriate and actually made me realise that if I had an older sister, she would've been like her.

She patted Max's shoulders, making him shrug it off. He wasn't annoyed though.

"That song is reserved for someone special. Max doesn't play it ever. He says that it means too much to him."

Oh.

Oh.

I didn't know who was more red. Me or him.

"I've only heard him play it once and he was by himself, thinking that he was alone, pouring his whole heart out. It was magical guys, I swear."

There's got to be a misunderstanding.

Yep, that's it.

He must've been red because the whole bus started to hoot, whistle and giggle at how romantic that sounded. He was embarrassed that his personal information was out to his friends. He wasn't angry at his friend for saying it though.

Me... I didn't even want to think about why I was turning a tomato. I didn't want to agree that it was because I'd heard it. I'd heard him play the song, right next to me.

I mean, it's not like I was the only one at the cafe.

But it did things to me. 

Things that I didn't want Max Winters to be the reason for. I wasn't going to accept it. There must've been a good reason why he's played the song when I was there with him, in that cafe.

I couldn't feel the same heat I'd felt when his lips were against mine, but there was something there. Some doubt, want... feeling, I dare say. Something Max Winters'd left behind.

"Alright, alright, settle down. I'll sing something else."

He positioned himself again, moving his legs apart so he was comfortable, probably not realising that it was nudging against mine and I was started to feel hot and bothered.

And then, he started, pulling each string at the right time.

Here's to the ones that we got, cheers to the wish you were here, but you're not.

Everyone swooned. The girls sighing at his voice, the guys giving appreciative nods at the song choice.

Toast to the ones here today, toast to the ones that we lost on the way. Cause the drinks bring back all the memories, and the memories bring back, memories bring back you.

I even noticed coach lean forward, surprised to hear Max.

To me, it felt like he'd rigged a hand into my chest and pulled my heart out. With the bus moving and the closeness of him, I couldn't help the music sway me in ways I never thought I'd lean.

'Cause I can't reach out to call you, but I know I will one day, yeah.

I should've gotten a heart attack right then and there. Something was happening to me.

But everything will be alright, go and raise a glass and say, ay.

I felt like I wanted to jump up and scream to the whole world. About what? I had no idea.

In the back of my mind, I knew I was thinking: this must be how the girls feel when Max's showing his talent.

I had no fucking idea how they contained it.

It was blowing my mind.

I've never felt the way I was feeling, ever before in my life. It felt so sudden, but I know... deep inside... the want... the irritating feeling of thinking that maybe, I was wrong.

Maybe I've felt this way always, but I never really paid attention to it.

My heart should drop dead on the bus now. It's a great time to do so.

But it didn't and I continued to have a panic attack on the inside.

Max went into humming the tune along with the guitar, making everyone sway to the music, a few humming along. It was perfect for the moment, the darkness of the day playing along.

With a few and more months till we separate to college, deep down, every senior was feeling it. The sadness, the separation. The change.

It felt like everything was crashing back onto to me, and before I knew it, I was leaning against the seat, ignoring the throbbing fire that travelled within his touch, and fell into sweet slumber, with one thing on my mind.

Something I never thought I'd think.

Something I wished it wouldn't happen.

Something I know I can't ignore the truth about even if I planned to ignore it as a whole.

I felt something for him; Max Winters. And by the looks of it, it must be a crush. I almost gagged thinking it...

I know I've thought of the possibilities before and I almost believed that I did in fact like him. But that was different.

This time, even if I didn't like it, I knew for sure. There seemed to be no way going back. 

I took a deep breath in my dream, his strings playing in the background. God damn it, I just had to go and feel things like that for him. 

Max. Fucking. Winters.

---

Alright guys, before we go I just wanted to say that everyone who'd graduated from school would know what I was trying to portray here. I felt it when I graduated. The feeling that things are only going to get harder, lonelier and scarier.

It's true, but that's a part of life and that's what makes it beautiful. I hope you got a few memories brought back yourself from this chapter, and I'll write again next week!

Oh, and Alan's finally figuring stuff out, thank gods.

Bye, bye!