Kahani

24th December 2022
9:00am

It’s that morning. Two years back when covid was ruling the whole world, on this day, he died. Couldn’t he die a bit earlier or later? I need to now pretend to be sad and miss the fun of Christmas. All I can do is sit on this old couch and watch my desire getting fulfilled by some other people on TV. I just wish to go to Park Street and enjoy the Christmas night. Is that too much to ask? It has been two years since he died. Why do I still need to look sad? I don’t feel like mourning anymore. Society sucks! All they know is to say no to all the fun that women desire to have.

“Mum-ma!” My three-year-old daughter is shouting from the bedroom. I can feel the irritation surging throughout my tired body. I keep the utensil on the sink in a fit of frustration which makes a loud noise. It leads to her more cries and shouts.

“What is it Naina? You haven’t drank the milk yet? And why are you crying? Oh God!” She frustrates me the most. I have always wanted to have children before, but not anymore. They are just a nuisance!

Cleaning the vomit, I rush back to the kitchen. The pressure cooker is whistling indicating that the porridge is ready. Soon neighbours will start dropping with their fake concern. None came when he died.

***

10:00 am

Tick. Tick. Tick.
It's very silent. Naina is sleeping after having her breakfast. I am waiting. Lying my head on a wooden table, I'm waiting...

A fly flies around my ears for a few seconds before it decides to land on the table. I get a sudden urge to have a good look at it. This one is preparing for its next flight. Fluttering its wings and moving its front legs. Maybe its desperate to fly away somewhere, like me. This reminds me of a story which I read during my university days. Those days when my dead husband was pursuing me. Those good old days of love and romance…

***

11:00am

Ding Dong.

The sound of the door-bell breaks my time-travel. Looks like the crowd has arrived. I put a dupatta to cover my head and open the door reluctantly. The known faces of the neighbourhood have gathered. Do they really care for me? If they did, they would have bought something from the grocery store to help me instead of visiting today to shed these crocodile-tears and drown me in their pitiful eyes. Their body language also says they are not interested, then why such pretence? By the time I close the door, everyone has taken their seats and Naina is running around the house like that fly. It’s going to be chaotic.

***

4:00pm

Such a long day it was! The house suddenly had become a local bus of Kolkata where people were jumping in and out as they wished. The only difference was, in this bus, the fare was given by the driver herself rather than the travellers. But thanks to whoever is up there, now it’s time to officially close the door of this bus. I wait at the door with a smile as the last traveller wears her shoes.

“Take care. Keep the doors and windows locked properly, okay? You are such a young widow and your daughter is so small… the world is not good to people like you, you know.” I smile. She smiles. Only if those smiles reach the eyes, all these care would have been so real. She is trying to, but not able to. After all, she herself is a part of the people she is talking about. And thus, like every other person of my life, she also turns around and leaves.

I’m about to close the door when my eyes fall on the small flower shop across the street. An aged woman is looking at me, or maybe at the scattered white-clad people. That young girl is talking with the woman. She is not limping anymore. It seemed quite serious before. Such a capable person. Hiding pain beautifully. Do I do this with such efficiency as well? I wish to.

***

Words : 716
Total Words : 2197