Hello Fam :)

Happy Reading...

Christmas eve saw the biggest party thrown by the Marauders in the Gryffindor common room. The holiday cheer was escalated by Sirius's happiness, which was pretty contagious, affecting almost everyone except his best friend James. He kept on nudging the boy to enjoy the last party of the year. Remus was indulged in having small talk with everyone in general. Right now, it was Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadows. Even Peter scored a dance with Mary McDonald. Overall it was a good party. Sirius sighed. If only he could make his best friend enjoy it.

"Prongs, chocolate frogs, or butterbeer, or every flavored beans, or-"

"My wand probably", said James interrupting Sirius.

"Why?", he asked, skeptically.

"I need to put a silencing charm on a certain someone who doesn't seem to shut up and of course also, seized my wand. Who else does that?"

"Who else other than Sirius Black", said Remus.

Sirius grinned at the prefect. "Aww, Moony, you seem to love me the most. Thank you."

Remus rolled his eyes. "James, you know you can use my wand for the time being?"

"No, he can't", yelled Sirius, pointing an accusing finger towards Remus. "That's cheating. He said he would do anything I tell him to if I win against him in the wizarding chess."

Remus slapped his finger. "Of course. But everyone knows you are hopeless at that game. Forget beating James, you can't even beat a five-year-old kid at that."

"Moony, I can", said Sirius, pouting.

"Sure, unless the kid is a muggleborn and has no idea what wizarding chess means."

"Why are you so good at arguments when you are never interested in picking up fights? Is there any chance I can borrow that super-smart brain of yours?"

Remus shook his head. "Please. This is my only savior and my body obviously won't support the extraordinary brain of Sirius Black."

Sirius huffed. "Glad. At least some part of mine is extraordinary. I will keep it with myself." He turned around and found James gone, a frown appearing on his head. "Where did he go?", he asked Peter.

The boy shrugged. "He slipped the moment you started arguing. Went towards the balcony. Asked me to tell you not to worry about him."

Remus sighed beside him. "You said he was fine."

Sirius crossed his arms, defensively. "Well, I half-lied. Which means, he is half-fine", he told and glanced towards the balcony. "I will go get him." He halted when he felt a hand stop him and saw it was Remus.

"Padfoot, maybe, he really needs some time to himself? Why don't we leave him alone for a few minutes?"

Sirius didn't feel it right but there was a point to Remus, as it always was. So he listened but not before letting the others know about his displeasure. He then turned around the hall and found their female prefect on the couch near the fireplace, reading a book, as if she has nothing to do with the world. He smirked inwardly before mustering a smile towards Remus. "Moony, would you take care of people here while I try to put some thoughts inside the brain of a certain redhead on how to enjoy on a Christmas Eve?"

Remus raised an eyebrow in question. "And I would suggest the idea is hazardous. She would hex you into pieces."

Sirius stood up, dusted his pants, and grinned at his friend. "And Sirius Black isn't afraid of being hexed."

Remus patted his back. "My deepest sympathies are with you, Padfoot. All the best."

Sirius ignored him and walked towards the redhead. When she didn't notice him arriving, he jumped on the couch beside her to gain her attention. The girl gasped, putting a hand over her heart.

"Sirius Black, you scared me."

Sirius grinned merely. "Lily-bean, I am preparing you for the inevitable. The war."

"How exactly? By jumping on the couch?"

"Well, you could have grabbed your wand which is a preparation step."

Lily shook her head. "So is that the only reason why you are here? To teach me how to grab my wand?"

"Of course, not", said Sirius, adjusting himself such that he was sitting properly next to her. He then threw his hand around her shoulders and continued to talk ignoring the question in her eyes. "I am here to teach you how to enjoy a Christmas eve party instead of burying your nose in a book."

"But I am enjoying myself", said the girl.

"How can you read in this noise, Lily-bean?"

The girl chuckled, embarrassed, playing with her fingers. "I can read non-academic books anywhere. A bit difficult with herbology or divination. I don't understand them that well."

Sirius stared at her in awe. Because what even? "You can?", he asked, again. "I can't even study in silence and of course when there's some noise, that's completely ruled out. What wouldn't I give to have that brain of yours?"

Lily snorted. "Didn't you just say something similar to Remus a while back?"

"Were you really reading Lily-bean?", said Sirius, waggling his eyebrows, making her blush.

"I can but not today even if I am trying hard."

Sirius was worried. Lily Evans not being able to read isn't normal. Suddenly, he thought, maybe James wasn't overthinking. "Why don't you go to your room then? It's impossible to read here and knowing you, you wouldn't want to enjoy a party."

Lily sighed. "I am avoiding my roommates at the moment. In fact, I am avoiding their questions. They think something's wrong with me and Potter seems down, they think we had a row again."

"So, I suppose that's not the case behind your foul mood."

"Of course not."

Sirius grinned. "Thank God. He thinks the same and that's why he is worried. Though I assured him that you aren't and I actually planted some false theories in his head proving my point."

"And what are those?"

"No way I am going to tell you. You will hex me into pieces. And you don't need to worry. I told him they are false. If you still don't believe me, it something goes like you naming me as the godfather of your son."

Lily frowned at that. "No way. I want my son pure and innocent. And of course, I wouldn't want him to play pranks on every walking person."

Sirius pouted. If he would be anything like James's son, of course, he would prank on every walking person. But he shouldn't tell that to the redhead if he wants to survive. Instead, he disagreed with her. "I don't. I am pure and innocent too, Lily-bean", he argued, putting his best innocent face.

"And the Sun will rise in the evening and the moon will shine all through the day."

"I hate you as equally as Remus. Why do you two argue like that?"

Lily chuckled. After a few minutes of silence, the frown reappeared on her face. "Sirius, do you mind if I ask you, what's wrong with Potter?"

"You noticed?"

"I overheard your conversation with Remus."

Sirius chuckled. "Were you eavesdropping, Ms. Evans?"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "It's not like you were whispering, Mr. Black."

Sirius slumped down, all the teasing leaving from his body. He shrugged, without really looking at her, staring in the direction of where James went. "Well, then you must have heard me then. I don't know."

"You said he's half-fine which doesn't make any sense."

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair. He wanted to pull his hair out but it would only damage his precious hair. "I don't know, Lily. James isn't telling me. Neither is he sharing with Remus. The only words he is saying is that he needs a few moments alone and it's taking the life out of me to see him like that."

"You really love him, don't you?", said Lily. "The way you care for him, stuffing food in his mouth even when he is in no mood."

"Stuffing food?"

Lily hesitated before answering. "I saw you in the morning. I was going to the library. I have never seen Potter so lost and you were there beside him. It's really cute, you know?"

"And probably you have already guessed how worried I was. I am. I haven't seen the boy this lost. Something's eating him up and it's frustrating how he isn't sharing with me. Or with any of the persons. These are the times when I hate his stubbornness."

Lily nodded, well aware of Potter's stubbornness. "Probably, he doesn't want to worry you by telling it. It's not like he doesn't trust you or something, right? Whatever the boy does, he adores you all. Doesn't he?"

"Do you seriously think that, Lily-bean?", said Sirius, amusement in his voice. He never know they were worthy enough to be in Lily Evans's thoughts. Except for Remus, maybe.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Everyone thinks that, Sirius. Everyone knows the Marauders are known for their friendship."

It brought an instant smile to his face. They really were amazing. He was basking in the rare compliment when Remus walked towards them and sat on the armrest beside Sirius.

"I see, Lily hasn't hexed you yet?", said Remus.

Sirius smirked at his friend. "I have made her fall for my charms, Moony."

"I doubt", he said, in his usual deadpanned voice.

Lily chuckled at their banter. It was when Remus's eyes fell on the book on Lily's lap.

"What's that you are reading?", he asked.

"A novel I brought from home. Want to have a look?"

As Remus forwarded his hand towards the girl, Sirius slapped his hand. "How can a book draw your attention when a girl can't, Moony. Are you all right?"

"Oh, he is, Mr. Black", said the redhead, smirking. She gave the book to Remus and excused herself for a drink.

A minute later, when Remus promised him just to take a single look at the book, Lily gestured him to come towards the drinks. He gave up on his friend and went towards the redhead. "Sirius, there's something else that's extraordinary about you", she said and continued when he raised his eyebrow in question. "Your friendship. What wouldn't I give to have a bond like you with your friends."

Sirius thought it might have something to do with Snape but chose to shut his mouth smartly. Instead, he grinned at her. When he noticed her going towards the balcony, he thought his work here was done. He has someplace else to be and slipped out of the Gryffindor tower after informing Remus to handle the party.

XXX

Lily went to the balcony and found Potter staring into the darkness. The boy had a small smile on his face. She stepped beside him to stare down but found nothing instead. "What's so interesting in the dark?", she asked.

"The lilies in the lake", he muttered, softly. "They are so like-"

It was when he seemed to notice her presence and stopped abruptly. "You?", he asked, a flight or fight stance sneaking into his posture.

Lily shrugged. "Fresh air. Party's too loud."

Potter nodded. "I can leave."

It surprised her since if it was any other day, he would have already asked her out. "It's fine. You were here first."

He nodded again and went to stare again into the darkness. James Potter was the arrogant eleven-year-old boy who was sure he would be in Gryffindor and insulted Severus when he said he would choose to be in Slytherin. He confirmed his place in Lily's hate list ever since because she wouldn't be friends with any person who would insult her friends. Her hatred only escalated when James asked her out in the third year. She said no. And she said no after every time he had asked her out. It had become so common now that he would ask her out on every occasion just as fun and an automatic no would escape her mouth in response. Potter would laugh out loud and mess up his already messed up hair before going his way. They often had rows, throwing hexes at each other especially when she would be in a bad mood. More often than not, he would be on receiving ends on those days. Now though, standing in front of her was a shell of the boy she had known ever since she was eleven. He was smiling, yes, but it was sad. Even his face showed that he had a lot going on inside his head. For some strange reason, Lily wanted to help him out. Even if he would an insufferable brat, it didn't quite sit right with her to see him like this. Hence, she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.

"Potter, if it makes you feel better, I wouldn't let Sirius become the Godfather of my future son."

The shock on his face was instant as he snapped his head towards her. "He told you that?", asked Potter. "I can't believe he told you that."

Lily laughed. "Don't blame him. The Siriusly instinct inside him wouldn't let him be serious for long."

"I am sorry on his behalf. I am sure he didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable", said Potter, surprising her again.

"Potter, he didn't make me uncomfortable. No one takes his theories seriously. But he was worried about you", said Lily. "Are you okay?"

"Lily", muttered Potter before trailing off.

If she wasn't sure before, she was now. There must be something seriously wrong for Potter to address her by her first name. "You know you can tell me instead of hurting yourself. I have seen you in the morning and then in Professor McGonagall's office and now, here."

Lily sighed recollecting the sad face of Sirius when they talked just minutes back. It took a lot to put the mischievous grin away from his face, anger sure, but sad almost never. Remus might be hurting too, she wouldn't know because he was better at hiding his emotions and being his cool nonchalant self. She stared at the boy in front of him, the reason behind the unintentional chaos he had created around him. "Potter, whatever is hurting you, it's hurting your friends too. If you really don't want to share with them, you could talk to someone else. I would offer if it helps you." Potter snapped his head towards her, gaping in surprise. She shrugged. "They are my friends too and it would save them too much grief", she told, justifying herself. It seemed to satisfy the boy and he nodded before taking a deep breath.

"Lily, I am sorry", he said, looking into her eyes.

"If it's for Sirius, I don't-"

"It's not for Sirius", he told, running his fingers through his hair, the action that irritated her. But just today, it didn't feel arrogant. "It's because of what I have done to you."

"What?"

Potter chuckled, the sound was more self-deprecating. "Yesterday's prank. It was my fault that you have been hurt by him. It was my fault you have lost your best friend. My fault that you had to cry to sleep. I wish I could undo any of it." He muttered the last more to himself before punching the wall helplessly.

"Potter", shouted Lily, before casting a quiet healing charm on his hand. "It's not your fault, okay? The prank was extreme, I agree and you owe him an apology. But Severus and I have been falling apart for a few months. To be precise, since the start of this academic year. I have been expecting this. We were arguing about his choice of friends and the crowd he has been hanging out with. I am not blind to see to which side he has been inclining towards in the war. Yesterday when he called me that, I just l lost any hope of changing his mind. It has nothing to do with you."

She glanced at the boy but couldn't decipher the expression on his face. "Does it hurt?", he asked, quietly. "Losing your best friend?"

She chuckled sadly. "It does, doesn't it? We practically grew up together. Losing him reminds me that my childhood is over. Isn't it all part of growing up?"

Potter shuddered. "Don't remind me. I can't imagine losing my friends. Remus, Peter, and Sirius? I would lose myself if I lose Sirius."

She smiled. At least something would be the same always even if that something is Potter and Black attached to the hip and causing mayhem. "I never thought something could scare the mighty James Potter."

He laughed softly. "We all have our own fears."

She nodded, accepting the answer. They stared into the darkness and she thought if there would be any day when the boy beside her would lose Sirius. She had to physically shake her head at the absurdity of the thought. If she wouldn't know, she might think they were twins. They might burn down the whole world but they would be together in it. It was oddly reassuring even at the cost of the world burning down. She blamed Sirius and his stupid fruit punch for her overly dramatic thoughts.

"Why didn't you go home for Christmas?" Lily was startled out of her thoughts at the question. When she didn't answer for a moment, Potter scrambled, a panicked look on his face. "Don't get me wrong. I have seen you with your parents at the platform at the start of the term. You seem close and sad to part ways. I thought you would jump at the opportunity to go home."

Lily smiled at the memory. She was crying on that day. "My dad travels a lot, part of his business. He had just come home but then I had to leave. I know it's childish-"

"What? Being close to your dad is childish?", exclaimed Potter. "You should meet my dad. He is the head Auror at work but once he is home, what haven't I seen him doing. Playing Quidditch with him to singing on top of his voice with our house-elves or spoiling my mom's kitchen in the name of cooking. He is much more of a child than I am, that's what my mom says."

"I now see where your marauder streak comes from", she teased. When James just chuckles, she continues. "My parents aren't anywhere close to being marauders level but I love them way too much. But sometimes there are some people we don't get along with and it's better to avoid them. Why didn't you go?"

He shrugged. "Similar reason as yours. Not my family. But Sirius. You know the Blacks. Self-explanatory. He doesn't want to spend his Christmas with them and I didn't want him to be alone on Christmas. He refused when I said to go home with me so I stayed back. Remus and Peter just followed when I told them."

"No doubt they adore you", she muttered. Whatever has happened between her and Potter, he was a good friend. Not only to the marauders but to almost everyone. Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas would always try to change her opinion about him and she would agree too if Potter could go a day without asking her out. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought he manipulated her friends as his message-bearers.

"Evans, can I ask you something? It's Christmas so it would be the best gift if you would agree."

Here it goes, she thought and cursed him internally. They were having a good time but he had to ruin it. She sighed. It might be better even. He would ask her out for the umpteenth time and then she would say no and ignore his presence for the rest of the holidays. "What?", she muttered, already knowing his question.

"Can we be friends?", he asked.

Lily snapped her head with a frown on her face. "What?"

"Please", he asked. "Can't we at least give it a try?"

"Potter, what you saw yesterday with Severus-"

"Lily, it has nothing to do with you losing Snape as your best friend. I haven't lied anything about regretting what I have done. I know you lose a part of yourself when you lose your best friends. They leave the memories with you and you can never ever reminisce them without feeling sad", he said before taking a breath. "Lily, I have always wanted to ask you this but the stupid part of me always made it impossible to act sensibly around you. I am sorry for all those days. For causing you all the trouble. For just not acting the way I have to, I wanted to."

"Have you realized, Potter, you have apologized for the third time already this evening", she teased because she didn't know how else to respond. Till now Potter was an insufferable arrogant prat who only wanted to make her life a living hell but the boy standing in front of her is someone entirely different. She was seeing the 'the best friend one could ever ask' for as Remus said, 'the brother I never thought I needed' as Sirius said. It was the 'sweet idiot' as Marlene says.

"Maybe something about the air today is making me do it. I have seen the tears in your eyes, Evans. It broke my heart. You don't deserve it. I was angry at Snape when all the things I have done in the past to you had hit me like a bludger. If Snape has done bad to you, I have done the worst. You don't deserve to sleep alone in the common room, suffering for something that's not even your fault, Lily. Now when I think back, I understand why you are so comfortable around Remus. You were right always. I am so full of myself", he said.

Lily patted his hand awkwardly. She was speechless. She had never seen the Potter so sincere ever since she met him on the Hogwarts Express on the first day of her school when she was eleven. Finding her hand, he threw his hands around her, muttering numerous 'sorry's'. A moment later, realizing their proximity, James broke the hug and gazed at the floor muttering another nervous sorry. A small smile broke on Lily's face on seeing him nervous. It was different.

"Why do you want to be friends with me?", she asked him instead.

James glanced at her and once making sure she was really asking the question, he rolled his eyes. "Are you really asking me this, Evans? You say I am full of myself which I just agreed with. So, when I say you are Ms. Know-it-all, there's some truth in it too which I secretly admire", he told before leaning forward and lowering his voice. "And that's a secret. I don't want people to think my head has deflated a bit. You know it hampers my reputation."

Lily burst out laughing and any remaining awkwardness when she first came to the balcony vanished into thin air. She looked at the boy smiling, his eyes tired behind those big round glasses and something softened in her when she realized it was because of her. Both his tiredness and the smile that he had. Who knew, her opinion of years would change in just a single conversation. She understood everything wouldn't change overnight but at least Potter didn't seem all too bad once the misunderstanding cleared. Suddenly, it didn't feel weird to be friends with the boy. After all, she was friends with all the rest of the marauders, at least cordial with. "We can try being friends, Potter. But on a condition that you wouldn't include me in any of your marauder's pranks", she told because there should be a line somewhere.

James grinned at her, with eyes wide and the usual mischief sneaking in. "Never", he said. Another moment of comfortable silence later, he muttered a quiet Tempus and realized it was too late. "Why don't you go to sleep? I guess last night was a disaster."

"It was even for you, right?", she teased.

James laughed. "Sirius can tell you better."

They walked towards the common room and found the party already wrapped, some of the people sprawled on the floor and the couches, too drunk to go back to their room. The marauders were nowhere to be seen which meant they might have gone back to the room.

"Goodnight, Potter."

"Goodnight, Lily", he said. "You have given me the best Christmas gift. I promise I will cherish it as long and as much as I can."

The amount of sincerity in his voice threw her off-guard but it was nice.

XXX

James felt much lighter when he climbed up the stairs towards his room. At least, now he could be a friend to her. Before the start of the term when one day he mentioned casually about Lily not giving him the time of her day, his mother hummed and asked him to try being friends with her. It has been close to four months and he couldn't bring his courage to do that. Until now. His mom was brilliant.

As he entered the room, he saw Peter already sleeping and Remus reading a muggle book. He went to his bed and sat down. "Moony, where's Padfoot?", he asked because Sirius wasn't in the room.

"James?", asked Remus confused, taking his eyes off from his book. He looked around the room before processing the question. "Padfoot, right? Padfoot is being Padfoot which means I don't know."

As if just being waiting for the opportunity, Sirius banged the door open and barged in. "Padfoot is here, gentlemen", he announced, his arms outstretched and his grin on its place. "I can see people are honored to have his company."

"None is", said James. "But where the hell have you been?"

"Well, I wanted to sneak into Hogsmeade for some butterbeer but then I had overheard someone saying that the shops are closed since its Christmas eve. Hence, Mr. Padfoot took a detour to the kitchen and brought these delicacies for his friends expecting nothing more than a little gratitude from them", said Sirius, emptying his pockets.

"Prongs, did you hear anything after 'delicacies'?", teased Remus.

"No, Moony. The snow might have blocked my ears", said James.

"That's impossible", protested Sirius.

Both of them ignored him and snatched the sweets. Sirius pouted before jumping beside James and grabbing one for himself. 

Let me know your feedback on the book in general. :)