Eva: I was arrested for being too cool.

Harry: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

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James: Ok, maybe playing 'whose family is most dysfunctional' wasn't the best idea we've had. Sirius has been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get them out...

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Ron: What is your biggest weakness?

Harry: I can be uncooperative.

Ron: Okay, can you give me an example?

Harry: No.

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James: So are we flirting right now?

Lily: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU

James: That doesn't answer my question

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Eva: I think Hermione was right.

Harry: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Ron: They wouldn't do that.

Hermione: You're right, Ron. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Hermione: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Hermione Told You So' on the back*

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James: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.

Sirius: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.

Remus: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?

Peter: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

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(I'm sorry...)

James: Tonight, one of you will betray us.

Sirius: Is it me, James?

James: No, it's not you.

Remus: Is it me, James?

James: It's not you either.

Peter: Is it me, James?

James:

James, mockingly: Is IT mE James?

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Sirus: How's the sexiest person here~?

Remus: I don't know, how are they~?

Sirius, flustered: I-

James, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

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Bellatrix: Here's a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.Narcissa: Bellatrix no.Andromeda: Mistlefoe.Narcissa: Please stop encouraging them.

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Sirius: My life isn't as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

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Luna: I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

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Neville: You know how I roll.

Neville: And I'm not talking about that time I fell into a pile of dung at the foot of a hill.

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Eva: I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

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Harry: *Accidentally hits Ron in the face*

Harry: *Trying to decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*

Harry: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Ron: What's wrong with you?!

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Harry: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I'M SORRY]

Ginny: What's that?

Harry: Remorse code.

Ginny: I'm even angrier now.

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I had a lot of fun with this, thank you https://incorrectquotesgenerator.com/ for these lovely quotes.