Fatalities of War (Seamus Finnigan)


But before I begin I'm going to have a little rant so which I'd like you all to read, if that's alright. Requests are currently closed which means I won't be taking requests but this isn't what I wanted to rant about. My rant is about the requests that ask for a 'depressed' reader who suddenly miraculously is better after her love interest starts dating her. That isn't how depression works! As a psychology student it ruffles my feathers when people think depression is 'emo' or that it's being angry towards everything. Depression is a mental illness which can seriously interfere with someone's ability to function in their day to day lives, it isn't a 'quirk' or a way to appear 'cute' to a guy and appeal to his 'protective instincts' or any other load of crap. It certainly doesn't clear up when a guy starts taking interest in you; it doesn't work like that.

The same goes for eating disorders. I've had requests for readers who are bulimic or anorexic and suddenly because a guy tells them to stop, they just do. Again, it doesn't work like that. These sorts of portrayals are majorly damaging and I refuse to be an author that makes light of these serious issues. There are certain issues that simply cannot be tackled well in the space of a one shot and as these issues are extremely triggering, I will never write about them.

This was requested by Nyriamis - your request was kind of different to write but it was different in a good way. I tried to include as many of the things you wanted as possible, so make sure to tell me what you think once you've read it

Anyway, my lovely fawns, sorry for the little rant. You may now go on to read about our favourite Irishman ~

It was an unusually hot June day and, as I walked my dog down the street the sweltering sun was beginning to make me sweat. I made a face at the uncomfortable clammy feeling, almost wishing that we could get our usual mix of rain and cold weather. But then I remembered just how bad the weather could get and I was quick to change my mind.

Charlie must have somehow picked up on the drifting of my thoughts as the usually calm Great Dane took off in a sprint, making me struggle to keep up with him. I was supposed to be the one walking him and yet it seemed like he was the one walking me.

"Charlie," I protested, pulling on the leash, trying to get him to heel. But it was pointless. "Stop it."

The stubborn dog didn't listen to a word I said and continued to chase after whatever it was that had caught his attention. If it was another squirrel -

But it wasn't. Charlie stopped finally, picking up a newspaper with his mouth and holding it out to me. I took it from him, reaching out to affectionately rub the top of his head.

"Goodness Charlie," I said with a small smile, crouching down beside him and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "You really are an old man; wanting the newspaper. Speaking of the newspaper -"

I trailed off, doubting my eyes. The picture on the front of the paper was moving. Pictures didn't do that, certainly not the ones on newspaper. And for that matter, what kind of newspaper was called the Daily Prophet and why was it printed on yellowing paper. Especially when the date at the top of the paper placed it being published less than a week ago?

Charlie, growing impatient, began to nudge me. I hushed him, rubbing a hand over his back as I began to read the article at the front of the paper with furrowed brows. Who and what was a Volde -

The paper was ripped from my hand suddenly and I recoiled slightly from the force of the action. Looking up at the boy standing in front of me, I raised an eyebrow. Charlie began to growl threateningly, moving defensively to stand in front of me. Patting him reassuringly, I rose to my feet but still kept Charlie in between me and the boy who was busy glaring at me.

"Can I help you?" I asked cautiously.

"Has no one told you not to touch things that aren't yours?" he demanded, scrunching the newspaper up and shoving it roughly into his pocket.

"I'm sorry I didn't see your name scrawled across the top of the newspaper," I muttered defensively. Eyeing him closely, I demanded, "If it was so important to you then why did you leave it in the middle of the street!"

"I didn't. It flew out of the window." He gestured to the car parked outside a house which I assumed was his. The car's boot was still open as people that I assumed were his parents transferred a trunk into their house.

Looking back to the stubborn boy, I pointed to the paper that was peeking out of his pocket. "Your newspaper; the pictures are moving. How?"

He didn't even try to give me an answer. Instead, he looked away from me and reached up to rub the back of his head. The action had his shirt riding up slightly, just enough for me to catch sight of a stick of sorts which was hidden in his trousers. I eyed the boy more strangely now; although it sort of made sense. It connected some of the things I'd managed to read in the newspaper article and yet -

Clumsily pulling his shirt down, he covered the stick up and hid it from my view once again. Meeting his eyes for a moment, I raised my eyebrow. He again said nothing and I wondered why the boy wasn't leaving already. Clearly, he didn't want to be in my presence and yet he was making no move to leave.

Taking the chance to get some information, I asked bluntly, "Magic; does it exist?"

He glanced over me, eyeing me closely. I didn't even shuffle under his gaze and instead waited patiently for the answer that I was sure he was going to give me. Except, he didn't give me one. Instead he turned on his heels as if to head inside.

Charlie moved before I did. At some point, during the conversation I had released my hold on his leash and Charlie took the chance to escape my hold but only enough to cut around the strange boy and stop his retreat. When he tried to cut around Charlie, he growled threateningly and the boy sighed, turning back to face me.

"Mind calling your mutt off?"

"Mind not calling Charlie a mutt?" I crossed my arms, "If you offend him he might go for you and I can't control him if he decides he doesn't like you. Personally, I don't think he's going to leave until you answer my question."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, the boy released a deep sigh. "I can't tell you whether it exists or not."

So magic did exist then.

"Well, what can you tell me then?"

"Seamus!" a woman, that I assumed was his mother, called from the open doorway of her home. "Come inside."

"Give me a minute, ma," he called back, keeping his eyes on me. "Look, you have no idea what you're talking about so just leave me alone, alright?"

"How am I going to understand if you never tell me?" I exclaimed.

"A muggle like you wouldn't understand," he muttered, dodging around Charlie and jogging back to his home.

Charlie growled again at Seamus's back before coming to my side. I took a hold of his leash again, kneeling beside him for a minute and pressed another kiss to the tip of his nose.

"He's such a funny boy, huh Charlie?"

**********

Whenever it was time for his daily walk, Charlie would get more rambunctious, jumping around in a bid to try to convince me to let him out for a bit. And for a dog his size, it certainly was problematic when he decided to start acting up. As I sat on the sofa, flicking through a magazine, Charlie walked to my side and nudged me with his nose.

"Alright, alright," I said with a sigh, rising to my feet, "go and get your leash."

And he was off, running through the house to get his leash and almost running straight into my dad in his haste. He made his way back to me, leash held in his mouth. Kneeling beside him, I hooked his leash on and prepared to leave.

"Why don't we go the park today?" I asked, slipping on a light jacket and stepping out of the house. "It's been a while since we got to play fetch."

And so, we walked a few streets down to the park where I released Charlie from his leash. He relished the freedom, running off without even a single glance back at me. I waited, watching as he interacted with the much smaller dogs in the park and as I knew he would, he eventually made his way back to me, jumping onto his hind legs and putting his front legs on my shoulders. He towered over me and I grinned, rubbing his back as he leaned down to lick my face happily.

"Shall we play fetch?" I asked when he stood back on both his legs, leaning against me briefly.

Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out his favourite ball and threw it a fair distance. Charlie shot off, chasing after the ball and catching it mid-air. He ran back to my side, dropping the ball into my waiting hand.

"Be prepared," I warned, "I'm going to throw it as hard as I can this time."

Winding up for the shot, I threw the ball with all my might and watched as it arced through the air. Chasing after it, Charlie suddenly shifted directions. I watched curiously, wondering whether another dog had caught his attention. But it wasn't a dog. Charlie ran right up to someone and jumped on top of them, bringing the person tumbling to the floor with a force that looked painful. I gasped, running towards the pair of them.

"Charlie!" I admonished as I drew closer, steps slowing slightly when I realised Charlie was licking the person's face. "What are you doing?"

"Would you mind getting him off me?" the person, whose face was hidden from me, asked in a muffled voice.

"Seamus?" I questioned, recognising the voice.

"Yeah, now get him off me!" He struggled a little under Charlie, "He weighs a lot."

"Charlie, heel!" I commanded, making him hop off Seamus and return to my side.

Leaning into my side, Charlie went to head towards Seamus again when I clipped his leash on him. We both knew that if he wanted to, Charlie could pull me along with him but he obeyed the silent command.

"Sorry about that," I said with an awkward smile, "I guess he was glad to see you again."

Seamus rose to his feet, brushing the grass off his jacket. "He's got a funny way of showing it."

"I take it you're not a dog person." I reached out to brush a finger over Charlie's ear.

"I haven't been around dogs in a while," he explained, shuffling on his feet, "Dogs aren't the usual type of animals that I'm around."

"You're more often around magical animals, right?" I guessed, watching him tense at my words. It was obvious that he wasn't supposed to tell me and he hadn't told me but his every action pointed towards it. Goodness, he was making it so very obvious.

"Look, I already told you that muggles aren't allowed to know," he snapped at me suddenly.

"Muggle," I repeated with a frown. "You've called me that before. What does that mean? Someone without magic?" He nodded and Charlie grew antsy at my side from being unable to run around.

Turning away from Seamus, I reached down to undo his leash and told him to go and fetch the ball that he'd previously ignored. He ran off and I looked back to the boy standing across from me.

"What happens to you if you tell me about magic?"

"I'll be stripped of my magic," he answered shortly as Charlie ran back with the ball. Dropping it in front of me, he waited for me to pick it up and throw it again.

I waited until Charlie had gone to fetch the ball and asked hesitantly, "If you can't tell me about magic, can I ask you about Hogwarts and the war?"

Surprise crossed his features, "How did you know about -"

"Your magical newspaper," I explained, "I managed to read some of the first article before you snatched it away from me. It was about a war and the return of some Lord V -"

He reached forward to cover my mouth, stepping closer to me. My eyes widened at the sudden proximity and I swallowed nervously when I saw the fire burning in his eyes. Keeping his eyes on mine, he ordered firmly, "Do not utter that name. Ever. Do you understand?"

Nodding slowly, I reached out to remove the hand covering my mouth and licked my lips. "This war - are you planning on fighting in it?"

"I need to," he murmured, looking away from me as Charlie made his way towards us with the ball. He dropped the ball between Seamus and me. Leaning down to pick up the ball, Seamus tossed it in the air and caught it again. Charlie waited, watching the ball anxiously but Seamus didn't seem to notice as he continued to throw it in the air. "We can't turn a blind eye to this."

"You're nothing more than a student," I protested, distantly wondering why the possibility of this relative stranger fighting in a war was so distressing to me.

"They don't care whether I'm a student or not. Hell, they didn't blink an eye at the prospect of having to kill a baby."

"Baby?" I repeated, the colour draining from my face.

"It's nothing," Seamus dismissed his previous words with a simple wave of his hands, stopping me from saying another word.

He reached into his pocket, retrieving his wand and pointing it to Charlie's ball. Muttering a few quiet words, he watched as the ball took off suddenly, flying a great distance and Charlie shot after it.

**********

As the weather slowly grew cooler and then became colder, I ended up taking Charlie to the park more often. It wasn't intentional, at least not at first. The first time I had taken Charlie to the park after he had jumped on Seamus, I found Seamus waiting in a similar place to last time. I didn't approach him but he had approached me claiming that he'd waited for days to see when I would turn up again. Somehow after that it became a regular thing for me to meet him in the park.

This time, when I reached the spot where he usually waited for me, Seamus announced that tomorrow he would be boarding the train for Hogwarts. It would all be beginning soon.

We sat by side on a blanket he'd brought with him, watching as Charlie ran around with some of the other dogs. His declaration made an awkward silence settled between us and I had no idea what I was supposed to say to end the silence.

"How old is Charlie?" Seamus asked quietly, gesturing towards him.

"7 years old," I answered quietly, looking briefly towards the boy sat at my side, "A right old man now, is what he is. He's getting on a bit."

And just like that we found ourselves sitting in silence again. Clearing my throat awkwardly, I stood up as Charlie began to make his way towards me. Scratching him gently behind his ears, I watched from the corner of my eyes as Seamus brushed a hand over Charlie's back.

"It's funny," he began absentmindedly, petting Charlie, "I used to wish that the summer holiday would end quicker so I could go back to Hogwarts. But this time I'm dreading it. Merlin knows what I'm going to be returning to."

Swallowing nervously, I avoided looking at him as I said quietly, "Look after yourself." I decided to ignore the way he looked at me, half confused by my words and half grateful for them. "Charlie's going to be very upset if you don't come back in one piece."

"I had no idea Charlie cared so much about me." He leaned back slightly, resting on his hands, "Since when did Charlie start caring about my welfare?"

"Since he found out your life might be in danger."

He gave no outwards reaction to my words. Instead, he watched me steadily for a few moments before straightening up with a sigh. I turned to look at him curiously, watching in surprise as he brought a hand up to move some of the hair out of my eyes.

"This is a really bad time to begin crushing on someone," he admitted quietly, drawing away from me, "especially a muggle at that."

"You've got bigger things to worry about," I reminded him gently, watching as Charlie laid down in front of Seamus, resting his head on the boy's lap. Seamus brushed a hand over his head and Charlie's tag wagged happily. "Stay alive, Seamus."

"I can't promise that," he said just as seriously. The way he said those words - he wasn't even phased. It was clearly something he had thought over for an undefinable amount of time and goodness, he was too young to be dealing with this. I wanted to help him, really I did. But I knew that this was a situation where I would be more of a hindrance than a help.

"Promise me it anyway?" I reached out to pet Charlie, avoiding looking at him.

"How can I promise you something like that? You know it's not something I can control."

"Well do it anyway." Licking my bottom lip I reasoned, "You claim that you're a Gryffindor and according to you that's the brave and chivalrous house. Well, live up to your house values and promise me that. Once you've promised me that promise, you won't be able to die. You'll have to come back. So promise me."

"I don't know what'll happen to the muggle world," he said eventually, not bothering to give me an answer. "But if you think there's something wrong - if men dressed in black cloaks with white masks appear - you run away. Do you understand?"

Nodding slowly, I continued to pet Charlie who had decided to take a nap. I smiled affectionately, he really was an old man now. A hand was placed on mine, stilling my movements. Looking to Seamus curiously, I saw him smile softly as he linked out fingers together. I tried to smile back but it was proving extremely difficult.

**********

With Seamus away at Hogwarts, I also returned to school and tried my best to keep my mind off the boy who really shouldn't have meant much to me. But he did.

Not that I would ever allow myself to admit it, but I found my mind straying to him often when I was supposed to be concentrating on my lessons or even when I was home. In an attempt to make myself feel more at ease, I had even kept a countdown of the days left until he was supposed to return home for the Christmas holiday. It was only slightly helpful in easing my worries. Even Charlie was missing Seamus and would often pull me towards the park when we went on walk and would head over to Seamus' spot, sniffing the ground as if in search of his scent.

And now that the Christmas holiday had officially arrived I was waiting very impatiently to see him again. And today, as I took Charlie for a walk I even dropped by the park hoping that I'd find him waiting under the trees, standing in the snow as it fell from above. The moment we stepped into the park, Charlie started to run across the park, dragging me along behind him. I struggled to catch up with him and when he finally stopped, I took a moment to catch my breath.

"Another squirrel," I demanded, looking down to my shoes as I kicked off some snow, "Why do you keep running over to this spot?"

"Because he missed me," Seamus chimed, making me look up suddenly. My eyes widened as I watched him walk out from beneath the trees to approach us.

Charlie barked happily and went as far as the leash would stretch to reach Seamus. Rising to his hind legs to greet the man. Seamus laughed quietly, patting Charlie on the back when he lowered himself to the floor. His laughter faded slightly when he became aware of my stare. Unable to help myself, I found myself looking over him from head to toe in search of a sign of whether this war of his had begun yet. After a single glance, it was obvious that he had lost a lot of sleep since his return to the place he'd called his second home.

When I finally found the courage to meet his eyes, I tried to think of something to say. But it proved pointless when he walked past Charlie and headed straight towards me. He took me in his arms, hugging me close and the shock of it had me immobile for a moment. After a some hesitation, I brought my free hand up to hold him against me. He didn't release me for a while, seeming content to just hold me. Only when Charlie barked as if to remind us of his presence, did Seamus move away from me. But he didn't move far.

"Thinking about you was the only thing keeping me sane," he admitted, holding my gaze. "I didn't let myself admit it but I did make a promise to you that day and I needed to keep it. Merlin, I felt like I was going to go crazy thinking that I'd never be able to hug you."

His words rendered me speechless for a short while as I struggled, trying to come up with something to say. Clearing my throat, I brought a hand up to trace the dark bags under his eyes. With a frown, I asked, "How bad is it?"

"His forces have taken over the school," he admitted, taking my hand from his face and holding it in his. "But we're not just lying back and taking it; we can't. We - the older students - we've formed something like a resistance group."

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" I asked cautiously, biting my bottom lip.

"Not really," he said with a sigh. "But I don't think anyone knows what to do in this situation."

I sucked in a deep breath, feeling a tug on the leash as Charlie grew impatient. He eventually gave up, circling back to stand beside me. "Seamus -"

"I have something to give you," he cut in, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a braided leather bracelet. I watched quietly as he placed it on the hand he was holding. "It's bound in old magic."

"Old magic?"

He held my hand between both of his, staring down at the bracelet and not bringing his eyes to meet mine. "Whenever I got the chance to, I'd do some research into protective magic -"

"For me?" I interrupted, my eyebrows rising in surprise.

He nodded, peering up at me from beneath his eyelashes, "It's laced with ancient ruins and it's an ancient form of protective magic. If there's any dark magic around then the bracelet will heat up. When that - if that happens then you need to run and run far. There's been dozens of attacks in the muggle world and I don't want you getting caught up in that."

"How can you talk about this so easily? You were so insistent that you couldn't tell me because I'm a muggle and yet -"

He spoke as I trailed off meaningfully. "The ministry's corrupt now." Tucking his hands into his pockets, he shrugged, "Besides, those fuckers already want me gone. What's one more crime to the list they've shackled onto each of the students."

"Seamus Finnegan," I teased, linking my arm through his as we finally continued to walk. "The mighty lion's become a criminal?"

It felt strange to begin teasing him after how serious our previous conversation was, but I knew I needed to move on from it. If I didn't, then it would be all we spoke of during the holiday and I didn't think he wanted that. He wanted an escape and I needed to become that escape.

"You better keep that bracelet safe," he warned, moving closer to me as we walked. "I had to put in dozens of hours in the library to research that thing. And I'm not the sort of person that voluntarily spend so long in that stuffy room."

**********

The Christmas holiday passed quickly and the term that followed it dragged slowly. And when the Easter holiday finally arrived, I welcomed it with open arms. My parents had gone on holiday together after I told them that I didn't want to go. They had no idea that it was because I wanted to spend every moment I could alongside Seamus. And tonight, now that I had the house to myself, I invited him over so he could get away from his mother who spent her time trying to convince him against returning to Hogwarts.

We sat side by side in my garden, staring up at the night sky. I leaned back against the tree trunk, listening to Seamus as he talked about what he had to go through during this term. Things had gotten worse, escalating until the students were reaching their breaking point. I had gasped when he told me that they had been ordered to perform dark magic on the first years and when they refused the 'death eaters' would perform the magic themselves.

"It's alright," Seamus assured me quietly, leading me to lean my head on his shoulder. He linked our fingers together, "I've gottten a lot better at healing the injured. The first years are being brave about it. Godric, they shouldn't have to be brave about it. They're bloody 11 year olds and yet they know to hide their pain because otherwise some of us just might concede to the Carrows, just to stop their pain."

We sat in silence as he bowed his head. Moments passed and I heard him sniffle. Lifting my head, I looked to him cautiously, removing my hand from his after a felt a hot tear fall on it.

"Seamus -"

He wiped his tears roughly, clearing his throat. "I'm not weak."

"Of course you're not," I comforted quietly, reaching out to put a hand on his arm. Squeezing his arm once, I waited for him to look at me. "Tears aren't a sign of weakness Seamus. You can tell me anything you need to - it might help you feel better."

"I can't," he said with an adamant shake of his head as he turned his back to me. "I can't tell you. If I tell you everything then you'll leave."

"I won't," I assured him quietly, wrapping my arms around his back.

"How can you be so sure," he muttered, holding my hands against his chest.

"Because," I cuddled into his back, "not even Mouldywart himself could keep me from you."

He chuckled at how ridiculous I was being. Pleased that I had got him to laugh, I pulled away from him and he turned to face me. Framing my face in his hands, Seamus pressed his forehead to mine.

"There's only one way for this to end," he whispered. "And that's in a war. When it comes to it, there's no telling what will happen and I don't know if -"

I leaned forward, silencing him with a kiss that lasted barely more than a few seconds. Drawing back slowly, I waited to see his reaction. He shifted, rising to his knees and kissing me again. I leaned back against the tree trunk as he deepened the kiss, trying to lose himself in me. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I curled my fingers into his hair, pulling back from him when Charlie barked from inside the house. When Seamus drew back from me, he was chuckling to himself.

Peering over his shoulder, he looked to Charlie who was standing on the patio, just outside the house.

"I thought he liked me," Seamus sighed, pressing his head to my shoulder.

"What can I say," I murmured, drawing a hand through his hair, "Charlie's a bit of an old man. He doesn't approve of PDA."

**********

Sending Seamus back to Hogwarts, especially when I knew what was looming right around the corner was painful. So painful that something happening to him during this war was all that I could see in my dreams. I'd find myself waking in the middle of the night, sweating from the nightmares that didn't seem to leave me. My sleep was ruined and I was especially sensitive because of the exams I needed to sit.

Yesterday when I had come home after sitting my final exam, I had crashed on the bed and tried to catch up on the sleep I'd missed over the previous months. It was useless; I only fell asleep at 3am and even then it was a fitful sleep.

When I woke in the morning from yet another nightmare, I stared blankly at the ceiling and took some time to calm my breathing. Turning to my side, I looked at the clock to check the time only for my eyes to zero in on the person perched on the windowsill with a book in his hands. I rubbed my eyes, sure that I was imaging things and that when I opened them again, he'd be gone. But he wasn't.

I sat up suddenly, pushing the hair out of my eyes. "Seamus?"

He looked up then, closing the book and setting it aside. "You're finally awake then. It's almost 12."

"What are you doing here?" I asked with furrowed brows, watching as he rose to his feet and crossed the room towards my bed.

"I came home yesterday," he admitted, hands in his pockets. "Apparently you had an exam so I didn't want to stress you out and stayed away until today. Your parents were leaving for work when I arrived; they let me in and told me to wait."

"They just let you in?"

"They warned Charlie to keep an eye on me," he said with a smile, gesturing to my doorway where, sure enough, Charlie was sat as if to guard me should Seamus show any impure wishes towards me.

Finally coming to my senses, I hesitated wondering how I was going to ask him what I wanted to. "Seamus, what - what happened?"

"It's all over," he said as he let out a deep breath, collapsing onto the edge of the bed.

I watched him silently, doing a quick scan of his face and gasping quietly at the large cut on his cheek and the one running through his eyebrow. Reaching out instantly, I traced the one on his cheek gently, apologising quickly when he grimaced.

"The war -"

"We won," he assured me, saying the two words as if he himself couldn't quite believe them. "It's all over; we won."

I leaned towards him, pulling him into my arms and holding him close to me. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me, hauling me against him as the tension seeped out of his body. He released a deep shuddering breath and I went to pull back when I felt him begin to sob quietly against me.

Rocking him slowly, I ran a hand through the hair at the back of his head. "What's the matter Seamus?"

"I don't know," he muttered into my shoulder, "I've had to be strong for so long and now I don't know what to do."

"It's ok," I assured gently. "It's ok, you can let it all out now. It's ok."

He let out a deep breath before really letting all his tension out. I don't know how long I held him for, but eventually his sobs died out but he continued to hold onto me until he found it in himself to pull away. Charlie who, upon hearing Seamus's sobs, had padded hesitantly into the room placed his paw on Seamus's lap as if to comfort him. Chuckling, Seamus reached out to pet the top of his head.

"I'm alright buddy." Glancing away from Charlie, Seamus gave me a look that had me instantly on the defensive.

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

Reaching into his pocket, he removed his wand and recited a spell which had a bouquet of flowers sprouting from the tip of his wand. He held the bouquet out for me to take.

"What's going on?" I took the bouquet, raising it to my nose. "I thought now that everything's over you wouldn't be allowed to do magic around me anymore?"

"That's true," he agreed, avoiding my eyes and turning away from me to play with Charlie. "But I've had you registered so it's fine."

"Registered?" I repeated with furrowed eyebrows. "What does that mean?"

"I'll tell you," he assured me, giving me a quick glance. There was an unusual smirk playing around his lips. "Eventually."

"Seamus Finnegan," I complained, swatting his arm.

"I will tell you," he promised. "Just give me a few years."

**********

5 YEARS LATER

I'd spent the last few days in a cycle of waking and crying for so long that I lost all energy and promptly fell asleep again. I hadn't been able to function properly, not since he left me. With a sigh, I bundled the blanket around me and turned to my side, looking to the picture frame on the bedside table. In the picture we were both smiling, sitting side by side. That had only been taken weeks ago.

My eyes began to fill with tears which I blinked away. I was just so tired.

There was a knock on the door and I looked towards the door for a moment. It opened to reveal my mum who peered cautiously into the room.

"Sweetheart, you've got a visitor." She moved out of the way slightly, showing me Seamus who stood behind her, trying to peer into the room. "Why don't I give you some privacy?"

"Thank you, Mrs Carter," he murmured, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him.

Turning my back to him, I tucked the blanket tighter around me. There was the sound of footsteps and then the mattress dipped under his weight. When I made no move to acknowledge him, Seamus reached out to me with a sigh and patted my hair gently.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked quietly and I sniffled slightly.

"You were working," I mumbled quietly, turning to face him. "You had that big business trip to go to."

"And this isn't more important than work?" he asked as my eyes filled with tears again. "You weren't there when I got back to the apartment and I was so worried about you. I found your note eventually and I came over here the moment I could."

"Thank you."

"This isn't something you need to thank me for." Reaching out his hand, he made me sit up despite the resistance I put up. Wrapping his arms around me, Seamus pressed a kiss to the top of my head. I let myself lean against him, taking strength from his presence and wrapped my own arms tight around him. "Everything's going to be alright; he wouldn't want you to be so upset over his passing."

"I know," I sighed, pressing my head into the crook of his neck. Letting out a shuddering breath, I sniffled, "I know he wouldn't but I just can't help it."

"He lived long past the life expectancy of normal Great Danes," he said gently, rubbing my back softy. "And you said it yourself; Charlie's condition was deteriorating at an alarming rate. At least he didn't have to suffer for long."

"You have a point," I said after I drew away from him. Staring down into my lap, I let out a deep sigh and rubbed a hand over my face. "I just miss him so much."

"I have something that'll make you feel better." Seamus spoke softly, using a hand to tilt my face upwards. When I met his eyes, he gave me a small smile, "But you're going to need to get back to our apartment first."

I hesitated, biting my bottom lip. "I don't know -"

"We can apparate there," he suggested. I tried to shift away from him but it was too late.

He took my arm and apparated us away to our apartment in an instant. We materialised in our apartment entrance and I shuffled slightly on my feet, trying to stabilise myself. Seamus reached out to secure me and before I could ask what it was he wanted to show me, there was a small bark. My breath caught in my throat and I looked to Seamus who was watching me cautiously. When I made no move, he took my hand and pulled me towards the living room.

There, sitting amongst the cushions that had been knocked onto the floor, was a Great Dane puppy. One that looked exactly like Charlie. I knew that dogs of the same species looked alike but I also knew that there was something about this pup, something familiar. The puppy looked to the doorway and upon seeing the two of us standing there, he barked again. Licking my lips slowly I crouched down and motioned for the puppy to cross the room towards me.

The puppy hesitated for a moment, walking cautiously towards me. It sniffed the hand I had outstretched towards it and deciding that it liked me, it scrambled into my lap. I couldn't help but giggle slightly, rubbing my hand over the back of its head. Seamus crouched down beside me, brushing his thumb over one of its ears.

"He's one of Charlie's," he admitted quietly.

I glanced sharply in his direction. "What are you talking about?"

"You never had him neutered," he explained and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"We never bothered," I answered, confused. "We thought he was too lazy to -"

Seamus scoffed loud enough to startle the puppy in my lap. I picked it up, cradling it in my arms and made soothing sounds. "He was still male. No matter how lazy we might be, we always have enough energy for that."

"So where did you find this pup then?"

"Charlie's fathered a lot of litters and this pup - he's from the last litter." Seamus winced when the puppy playfully bit his finger. "The mother - her owner put the entire litter up for sale. I'd have brought more than one but we both know how big Great Dane's can get. There might not even be enough room for one in our apartment. We'll just have to work hard enough to afford to pay off a mortgage for a house."

"Thank you," I said with a grateful smile, leaning towards him and kissing him gently. When I pulled back, I looked to the puppy who scrambled out of my arms to explore his new home. "Really Seamus, thank you."

"It's what I'm here for," he said as though he had no clue how much it meant to me that he'd taken time to track down one of Charlie's puppies. "Our pup, he was the runt of the litter so the previous owner didn't bother to name him. She didn't think he'd survive the night, let alone an entire week."

"He's a week old and he still doesn't have a name?" I raised an eyebrow when Seamus shook his head.

"What should we call him?"

Before I could think of a single name, I took a casual glance to the puppy only to shoot to my feet. Hurrying across the room, I pulled Seamus's wand from his mouth. The puppy, annoyed that I had taken away its chew toy whined loudly. "Bad boy, don't do that!"

Seamus was chuckling as he made his way towards me. "Something tells me he's going to be trouble."

____________________

In reality, if a fully grown Great Dane approached me I'd probably run away. Dogs that, when they stand and are bigger than me, seriously scare me. But then again, I am vertically challenged ~

How was it? Make sure to leave a comment telling me what you think because I love reading them.

And here is all your information about the next one:

*He was appointed head boy

*He worked in the ministry after leaving Hogwarts

*Incredibly bright

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