Family Matters (Percy Weasley)
This was requested by booklover311921. I kind of ran with your request and it turned out ... angsty to say the least. So a quick warning, this isn't my usual level of fluff and it's certianly more grown up than some of the others (in an emotional/situational sense) but I hope you all like it nonetheless ~
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Maybe everyone had been right. I hated to admit when I was wrong, I loathed it so much that my own stubbornness would stop me from ever saying the words aloud, but everyone had been right. When I'd left school, freshly engaged and looking to get married within the year, everyone said to wait. They said that the years outside of Hogwarts made or broke a couple and that I was rushing headfirst into a decision that I would regret. Did I regret it now?
Ten years on and with two beautiful children – did I regret it? I didn't regret them; Rowena, I could never regret them. But the truth was, deep down – as deep inside me as I could go – I did regret marrying Percy so soon. At the end of the day, I had been wrong and everyone else had been right.
My pride, always my worst enemy, stopped me from reaching out to anyone with the truth of my marriage. I'd wanted, more than anything, to prove to everyone else that I knew what I'd gotten myself into but good Merlin, what did a 19 year old know about marriage? I'd stuck through Percy's side regardless during those rough early years as he struggled with work and with his family problems. For a short couple of years, with the birth of our daughters, it seemed like life was finally beginning to work out – everything was as easy as it had been whilst we dated at school, even if there were now two other more important people involved in our relationship. But that peace had been short-lived.
I loved my daughters, more than I loved myself and more than I loved my husband but they made this a lot harder. Knowing that their listening ears – especially Molly's listening ears were around – made having an honest conversation too difficult. I just wanted someone I could talk to about all of this.
"Mum!" Molly, my eldest, called out from the dining room where I'd left my daughters to finish their dinner whilst I lost myself in my thoughts.
Left with no more reprieve, I walked out of the kitchen to the dining table where both girls were sat, partway through their dinner. Approaching the table, I cast a glance at the clock before taking my seat. Looking curiously at Molly, my eyes skimmed right past the chair that hadn't been filled even once during dinner this week. We'd promised, the moment the first pregnancy test had come back positive that work would never become more important than family and that dinner at least would be a meal we all shared. Did Percy even remember? Or had his work overtaken our daughters in importance? Merlin knew his work had long become more important to him than I was.
"I was thinking about my birthday," Molly started eagerly, spearing a carrot with her fork and putting it into her mouth. I listened half-heartedly as she rattled off a long list of things she wanted to do for her upcoming seventh birthday as I cut Lucy's sausages into more manageable sized chunks. Silently, I looked once more back to the clock, barely about to hold back my sigh.
"Your birthday's in six months," I reminded Molly steadily, as both girls finally finished their dinner. They jumped off from their chairs with Molly helping her younger sister down as I collated their empty plates. Frowning, but trailing obediently after me, Molly listened as I rationalised, "We both know you're going to change your mind about what you want. So why don't we talk about this closer to the time?"
"Ok," she said, frowning still.
But, when I summoned the step stool in front of the sink, she slipped right out of sulking and into older sister mode. Helping Lucy up onto the step, Molly kept a close eye on her sister as she washed her hands and face. Then, grabbing a tea towel, she helped Lucy dry herself before finally washing her own hands and face. Watching them both with a proud smile, I knew then without a trace of doubt that they were the reason for it all, the reason I was still here in this house.
Taking their plates and putting them into the sink, I went to begin washing up when my ears clocked in on the conversation they were having in the corner, speaking in hushed whispers as if believing I couldn't hear them. Slowly washing up and able to hear them over the running water, my heart broke.
"But I don't want to go to bed," Lucy whined. "Dad promised he'd read me a story tonight and –"
"Lucy!" Molly, far older than her age tried to convince her sister, "Please – "
Clearing my throat pointedly, I didn't even look at my girls who I knew were looking at me, guilty at being caught. Continuing to wash up, I offered slowly, "There's some of the chocolate cake we baked yesterday left in the fridge? Why don't you go and play and I'll cut you some slices? It's Saturday tomorrow so you can stay up a little longer?"
"Really?" Lucy beamed with her excitement.
"Of course." I smiled in a way I hoped convinced them both. "And then, you can get ready for bed and I'll read you two stories instead of one tonight?"
"But," Lucy butted in, lower lip protruding, "Dad promised me he would read me one – it's been so long."
"Don't you want the cake?" Molly asked before I could say anything. "Come on then."
I watched a moment longer as my eldest, only six but so mature, took her sister by the hand and together they entered the living room. Lingering in the kitchen for a moment longer, I took the time to calm my warring mind. If they weren't here, I would have stormed the Ministry and sought out my husband but – I wouldn't have, would I? I wouldn't have wanted to make a scene at Percy's and my place of work.
Finishing up in the kitchen, I placed the two plates of untouched food – mine and Percy's under a stasis charm before cutting my girls two small slices of cake. Venturing into the living room I found them settled on the floor and playing with their miniature potions brewing kits. Lucy claimed to be making a potion that would make me smile as she accepted the cake from her.
"You don't think I smile?" I teased, settling cross legged beside them and watching them play.
"Not anymore." Shrugging and with no way of knowing how the simple answer pierced my heart, Lucy leaned against my side as she ate.
When the girls were finished, I accepted their plates and washed up again. Returning to the living room I found their toys packed away with Molly herding Lucy upstairs. Following them upstairs, I helped them brush their teeth and get ready for bed before walking them to their bedroom. Their single beds had been pushed together because they refused to sleep in separate beds and I crawled in between the pair of them. Reaching across Molly, I snagged the storybooks from beside the lamp. It took the promised two stories to have both girls asleep. Kissing them softly on the forehead and making sure they were tucked in properly, I dimmed the lights and shut the door softly behind me.
Making my way downstairs, I settled onto the armchair positioned in front of the fireplace and waited. It took hours for Percy to return, just before the clock struck 2am. When he did return, he stumbled out of the fireplace, rubbing his tired eyes and depositing his briefcase beside it like he knew I hated. Pressing my lips together and knowing we had more important things to discuss, I said nothing. I waited until he finally noticed me.
It didn't take long. Stepping out of the fireplace, Percy finally noticed me and the tired smile at the corner of his mouth greeted me. Without a word, he approached me and dropped a kiss to my forehead. Had he been less tired, he'd notice how I didn't lift my head to kiss him – how I hadn't done it in so long.
Instead of saying a word, he walked into the kitchen, helping himself to his food. When he finally spoke, I looked to the doorway of the kitchen where he stood with a carrot lifted to his mouth. Without preamble, he started hesitantly, "About tomorrow –"
I breathed out harshly, my ears ringing as I finally stood. Crossing my arms over my chest, I dared him to finish what he was saying. Percy caught my eyes, trailing off and for one moment I thought he understood.
But he carried on, "I've been called in to work tomorrow."
"We're taking the girls to the zoo," I said softly, trying to get through to him. "We promised, Percy."
"I know, but we can reschedule, surely?"
Only I knew we couldn't. It had taken months for both of us to arrange time off so we could take the girls on this trip they so desperately wanted. We'd both agreed that regardless of how much work we had, and whatever came our way, we'd have a family day after such a long time. And yet, here he was drawing away. Somehow, I wasn't surprised.
"No, Percy," I said shaking my head and preparing to head upstairs. "I'll take the girls to the zoo tomorrow and you can go to work. Okay?"
"Sounds like a plan," he said, his voice coming from the kitchen. I made it to the hallway before he called out again, "Are you not going to eat?"
Calling out a faint, "I'm not hungry," I headed upstairs and got ready for bed.
Brushing my teeth and showering, I changed into my pyjamas. Walking out of the bathroom, I hesitated in front of our bedroom door before continuing past it and heading into my daughter's bedroom. Climbing in between the pair of them, I let the two curl up against me and breathed in their soothing scent.
I hoped that tonight at least I'd fall asleep quickly, to stop my thoughts from wandering too far and for too long. I could just sleep, without a second's thought, knowing that Percy would be doing the same. He'd fall asleep without questioning anything,, assuming I was checking up on the girls and I no longer had it in me to explain it to him what was wrong.
**********
I'd planned it all; tonight, would either make or break our relationship. Tonight would be the night that I laid my heart out bare for Percy and how we progressed now would depend solely upon what he did and what he said. It wouldn't be easy for him to change, but he would have to change; it wasn't fair for the three of us to be making continual compromises for the man in our life. Everything right now was going to plan.
My brother-in-law, George, had dropped by to pick up my daughters in the afternoon. Apparently, the Burrow was going to be filled with Weasley grandchildren because of the Weasley matriarch's wish to be able to spoil them without their parents around. With the girls staying at their grandparents for the weekend, I could finally talk to Percy without worrying about listening ears. Except, would I be able to follow it all through?
I knew myself, and I knew I lacked the bravery to be abrupt and ask him outright about just what was keeping him in the office. Because I did need the truth – without the truth, my mind wouldn't rest. Just last night, old school friends had gathered in my home and we'd spent a couple of hours together. It had been easy, light-hearted and I felt like a schoolgirl again. It didn't matter that my friends were just preparing to get married and I felt like I was a life stage ahead of them, it was like we were back in Ravenclaw Tower. Or it had been until my friends teased about my husband's dedication to his work and perhaps, he was dedicated to someone else. It was a joke, made in jest and referencing those they'd made when we first started dating about how they weren't certain Percy even acknowledged anyone else as women.
It had been a joke that I'd laughed off at first, but I couldn't shake the thought from my mind. Drawing my legs up onto the armchair I was sitting on, I contemplated convincing Percy to play truth or dare in the Ravenclaw way, knowing that the veritaserum would loosen his tongue. How had it come to this, I thought dropping my head into my heads. How was I actually considering spiking my husband's drink with veritaserum?
The fireplace activated, making me lift my head in time to see Percy arrive. He stepped out into the room, looking around instantly when there wasn't skinny arms wrapping around his knees as our daughters ran into his arms. Looking at the clock to make sure it wasn't passed their bedtime, he frowned and glanced back toward me again. I didn't have it in me to smile in greeting, even if for the first time in a long time he'd come home before the children's bedtime. Even if it was two hours after he was supposed to have finished today.
"Where are the girls?" Percy asked, approaching me and pressing a kiss to my forehead. He dropped his briefcase by the fireplace and I held my silence still, rolling my bottom lip into my mouth. Right now, it was the least of my worries. It was barely there, and yet the scent lingered and –
Heart dropping into my stomach, I forced the words out through a strangled throat, "They're staying at your mothers for the weekend, remember?" My eyes trailed after Percy as he removed his coat, slinging it over the back of a chair.
"Oh," he said absentmindedly, removing his tie and throwing it onto the dining room table. I wasn't going to clean any of it up – if he was late to work because he refused to listen to me about tidying up, then it was his own fault. "I must have forgotten."
Rising from my armchair, I curled my hands around the back of the chair. "You tend to forget things often, Percy."
"I've just had a lot on my mind." When Percy turned back to me with a tired smile on his face, he looked as though he was going to approach me again. He held back, studying me as if really seeing my defensive body language.
My strength, faltering by the minute, had me settling behind the armchair and using it as a shield. A frown flickered across his features, and it seemed like he was going to approach me again. But, thankfully he didn't. I still needed to bring it up. But now that he was here, how was I supposed to say it? I didn't have his Gryffindor courage and I was downright terrified of what he could possibly say.
"The girls are away for the weekend?" he asked again, making his slow approach towards me as if not wanting to frighten me. "All weekend?"
"George said he would drop them off." Why was it that all we could talk about was our daughters? There used to be countless things we could discuss, we used to spend nights awake talking about anything – Rowena, we could discuss cauldron regulations for hours on end – and now all we could talk about were Molly and Lucy. "Who knows what sort of mischief all the kids are going to get up to with him around."
"Poor Mum." When he was close enough, Percy held out a hand towards me that I was hesitant to take. In the face of my hesitance and I knew this was likely the first time he'd ever actually paid real attention to it, he sought out my eyes and insistently held out his hand again. Curling my hand into fists at my side, I listened as he said, "I took the weekend off on purpose so we could spend time with the girls, but I must have got the weeks confused."
Faintly and eyeing him closely, I murmured, "You must have."
Brows drawn together and considering me properly like he hadn't in a long time, he reached out and caught my hand. I instantly wanted to draw it back, as much as I wanted this, this wasn't how I wanted him to properly see me after the first time in who knew how long. This wasn't it.
"It's fine," Percy said, likely not knowing what he was referring to, as he held my hand steadily in his, coming closer to me. He peered down at me, smiling gently as he assured me, "It's been so long since we spent any real time together. Maybe this weekend will be just about us?"
"We both know you're going to get called in to work." Raising my eyes to his, I paid no heed to his frown, "And you're certainly not going to ignore the call – whether you're supposed to be off or not."
"Love." I shook my head, preparing to duck away but he caught my chin, holding me close. Lifting my head to his, Percy kissed my lips and I wondered if he could remember the last time, we'd kissed like this. I was certainly struggling. "We have until then."
I pushed him from me then, murmuring something faint about a headache. He wanted to embrace me again, and I was certain he wanted to make use of the time we had together but I needed to get away from him before all sorts of accusations left my mouth. Hurrying away from him, I went upstairs and into our bedroom. I contemplated locking the door against him but didn't bother. Instead, I sat on the edge of the bed. I'd finally managed to place what the faint scent was, but I didn't want to think about why my husband smelled of women's perfume.
**********
How had I become one of those women who held their tongues even though they knew that there was something she needed to talk to her husband about? I'd always wondered and even judged women who didn't confront their husbands but now that I was older, now that I was in that position, I understood that hesitance. Sometimes, the life and the family you'd built around yourself was too precious to risk. My daughters were too precious for me to risk tearing our family apart.
I trusted Percy, despite it all, I still trusted him and my heart refused to even consider that there was something going on there. But I knew there was an explanation of some sort about what was keeping Percy so preoccupied with work around the office and even the perfume that lingered on him on more than one occasion. But, despite how much I trusted him, I couldn't shake the idea that there was something there. It certainly wasn't nothing, but I wasn't sure if it meant anything.
"Love," Percy called out, gentle from beside me, drawing me from my thoughts. I looked to him then, smiling plainly in a way that suited a work event. Because a Ministry party was a work event – it was probably because it was a work event that Percy had somehow managed to arrange to spend time together. "Is there something wrong? You've been lost in your thoughts for days now."
"It's nothing," I said gently, searching the packed room for one of the waiters who made their way through the crowd. Spying one, I gestured them over and helped myself to a glass. It was only after I'd taken a long sip that I realised Percy was frowning once more – I'd seen that frown more often in these past few days than I'd seen any other expression. "What?"
"I thought you were going off alcohol?" He angled his body towards mine in a silent expression of solitude – all our co-workers would see it and know to keep away. Even as Percy sought out my eyes, I took another sip, "I thought we were going to try for a third?"
Because that had been the plan – we'd decided that once Lucy had turned six, we would try for a third and final child. Not that there had been much trying or anything as of late. Righteous Rowena, bringing a third child into our life right now was not a responsible thing to do as a parent. I couldn't do that – not when my head had already started a silent count down to Lucy's eighteenth birthday – just in case everything went wrong. If things continued, and I could cope, I only had to hold on until Lucy's eighteenth birthday, until she was an adult.
"I've changed my mind," I said softly, turning away from him and hoping he would take the hint. Percy didn't protest, even if he did watch me with searching eyes. If he wanted to talk about it, we'd discuss it once we got home; this wasn't something for us to discuss here. But I was certain that when we got home, he'd find himself too preoccupied to discuss it.
Despite wanting to continue his frowning, he was greeted by the Minister and we both settled back into the role of professionals attending a workplace party. I listened with a pleasant smile as the Minister praised Percy about the work he'd done recently, helping the Minister organise a specialist team. I didn't ask what this team was, having never heard of it before, and instead vaguely agreeing with the Minister when they continued to shower my husband with praise. I hoped my silence wasn't picked up on or thought to be out of character. Not when my eyes shifted to the young woman at the Minister's side, the woman whose perfume had haunted my nightmares.
Rowena's wrath –
Clutching the stem of my glass a little tightly, I appraised the young woman who looked like she hadn't been out of Hogwarts long. I wasn't certain of her personality, or even what work she did here, but I knew for certain that her body didn't carry the stretchmarks from birthing children, that her heart wasn't as heavy as mine in that moment. She almost reminded me of myself - years ago at least, fresh out of Hogwarts and naive to the world.
I'd thought about this so many times – about meeting this woman whose eyes seemed unable to leave my husband, even if my husband didn't so much as spare her a single glance. Was he really not wanting to look at her? Or was he trying his best not to be caught? Was there something to be caught doing? I'd never known how I would react – whether I'd want to talk to her and demand to know what she was doing with my husband or if I'd run away. Some part of me hoped I would have the courage to confront her about it but the truth was, that wasn't me. Right now, all I wanted to do was run away.
"Will you excuse me for a minute?" I asked faintly, realising belatedly that I was cutting the Minister off halfway through his sentence.
"Mrs Weasley?" the Minister started, searching over me with concerned eyes, not even questioning my lack of manners.
"I'm not feeling well," I excused, catching Percy's hand when it reached out to steady me as if expecting me to collapse in the next instance. "Really, I think I need some fresh air, that's all. Please excuse me."
"Of course –"
It was Percy this time who uncharacteristically spoke over the Minister, "Do you want me to come with you?"
"No." Shaking my head and taking a step away from him, I offered them all a smile, "I'll be fine."
Percy's hand caught my elbow as if to follow me out of the room, to tend to me and make sure that I was alright. But I shrugged his hand away, pushing it from me with a murmured assurance that I'd be back soon. Turning quickly on my feet, I walked out of the room, pushing my way through the crowd toward the exit. Stumbling out into the crisp evening air, I sucked in deep, shaking breaths to try and calm myself. The worst part about this entire situation was that I wanted to cry. That was all I wanted to do – I wanted to fall to my knees and cry, to take Molly and Lucy into my arms and to just cry.
More than anything, I felt robbed, like I had in some way given my life up to Percy and he'd treated it horribly. As if I hadn't made the decision to marry him at such a fickle, young age. If our relationship broke down, and there was likely a chance it would, it would our own doing. Both our faults. No matter how good it felt to vilify him, we both played a part in this.
Drawing in a final shaking breath, I rationalised that I didn't have to sit through this for long. All we needed was another hour, and then we could go home. When we got home, I'd thank Bill for looking after the kids and then join them in their bedroom. If Percy still didn't get the hint, I would have to talk to him about it. Gathering the last of my faltering nerves, I turned and walked back into the room, searching out my husband.
I found him quickly, wishing I didn't in the next instant. It wasn't a particularly dangerous or even risqué position that I found him and that woman in. If anything, it looked like the woman was saying something to Percy, leaning in close and putting a hand on his chest. Percy flinched at the contact, putting distance between them and Merlin, I hated how relieved I was in that instant. Whatever was going on, it wasn't mutual, it was one sided. Percy's heart remained mine and for some reason that made it so much worse. The distance between us was because of us – not some external third party. Whatever strain was there, it was because of us.
From a distance I continued to watch them, watching as the woman once more reached out to touch Percy who, part way through putting distance between them again, caught my eye. He started as if he'd been caught doing something and hurried away, without a single excuse. Coming to my side, he caught my hand, holding it steady between his as if to stop me from leaving him. Did he really think I'd do something so Gryffindor as to make a scene in this crowded room?
"I want to go home," I declared, glancing past his shoulder to the woman he'd left behind. She didn't seem pleased, not with the way he was with me, or with the way he was holding my hand. "Can we go home please?"
"Of – of course," Percy said, holding my hand steady still and drawing me alongside him out of the room. He had so much he wanted to say, but he was holding it back.
Accepting greetings as we went, I remained speechless as we made it to one of the fireplaces. Finally pulling my hand back, I stepped forward first, heading into the fireplace and heading home first. Stepping out into the quiet living room, I looked around and found Bill sitting on the sofa, cradling an open book in his hands.
"You're back," he said surprised, shutting the book with a snap. Glancing at his watch, he shifted his eyes back to me, "You're early."
"I wasn't feeling well," I said in explanation, kicking my shoes off. Picking them up and approaching my brother-in-law, I wondered if I actually looked unwell given the way he was looking at me. "Thank you for looking after them. Were they naughty?"
"No, they were angels," he assured me, glancing past me to the fireplace where Percy finally appeared.
Slipping past Bill and leaving the two brothers to talk, I walked slowly upstairs. Reaching the top of the stairs, I just stood on the upstairs landing for a moment, listening to Percy's voice as it drifted upstairs. We would have to talk, preferably during a time when the girls weren't home. There weren't many times where we'd be able to do that, but the only way we could move forward was if we did talk. It was a conversation I was already dreading.
Hearing Percy bid his brother goodnight and waiting until I heard the fireplace activate, I continued on my way to my bedroom. Shutting the door behind me, I eyed it contemplatively and spelled it shut. Walking to my vanity, I removed my earrings and set them aside when I heard the door handle rattle. Glancing over my shoulder, I looked back to Percy and watched as he tried the handle once more. Then there was a pause and listening carefully I could hear Percy open the door with a murmur.
Turning back to the mirror in time, I removed all the hairpins from my bun and gathered them in a pile. Through the reflection, I tracked Percy as he stood in the doorway, surveying me as I brushed out my hair. It was because I was studying him so closely that I saw the way he took in a deep breath before walking towards me. When he was close enough, I lowered my eyes, pretending to be busy with removing my bracelet.
"Are you sure you're not ill?" he asked suddenly, his hands coming up to grasp my shoulders. He rubbed them softly, insisting, "You've been behaving strangely for the past week or so. Is there something wrong?"
"I'm fine," I insisted, shrugging out of his hands. Standing up, I walked to my cupboard and pulled out a new set of pyjamas. Reaching behind me to undo the zip of my dress, my hands fell to my side when Percy's fingers beat me to it.
"Come and see the Healer with me," he suggested, moving away from me when he'd finished with the zip. Stepping out of the dress, I let it pool on the floor around me. I changed into my pyjamas, looking at Percy with wide eyes when he reached out once more, helping me by drawing out my hair from beneath my shirt. For a moment, I just looked at him, thrown off his sudden affection. "I mean it, come and see the Healer. If you're scared, I'll be there for you."
"Do you really think you'll have the time?" I scoffed, wanting to take the words back when he recoiled from me in response. "I already told you, there's nothing wrong with me Percy. I'm just tired and – "
"And there's something you want to talk about," he insisted, recovering and holding my eyes. "Even if it's about what you saw tonight."
"I don't want to talk about that. Not tonight."
"Love –"
"Just don't – please." He looked like he was going to protest, to force the matter when the conversation was forcefully ground to a halt by Lucy's cry.
Percy's eyes sought out my own, not having heard the sound in a long time and not having been home to hear it either. "She's having nightmares again."
Just as I went to walk past him, to tend to Lucy, Percy said, "Let me go and help you."
"No don't." Before he could protest, I said simply, "The girls aren't used to you being home this time of night, not anymore. If you rush in there with me, she's only going to be more confused. Chances are Molly's already awake with her, and you know what she's like – her mind will start to spiral. It's just better for you to remain here."
There was a long pause, and I was already out of the room before I heard his quiet, "Alright."
Walking into the girl's room, I found Lucy no longer crying and being comforted by her sister. But I knew my girls, they weren't going to fall asleep so easily. Not without me. With a gentle smile and assuring them that everything would be fine, I settled in between them and opened up my arms. They clung onto me, and Lucy was no longer sniffling. Patting their backs slowly, I silently held my daughters. Lucy slept first and Molly, after thinking for a long moment, clambered out of bed.
Without even looking at me, she left the room and I settled for adjusting Lucy's sleeping position so her neck wouldn't hurt in the morning. When Molly finally did return, to my surprise, she returned holding her father's hand and drawing him behind her. Leaving her father standing in the doorway, Molly returned to the bed, climbing in beside Lucy. She remained sitting up, looking to Percy who remained in the doorway, uncertain.
"Come on," Molly insisted, folding the duvet back for her father.
Percy's eyes sought out my own, and I just watched him in silence. Shuffling to one end of their makeshift large bed, I drew Lucy with me so there was room for Percy. Taking the silent hint, Percy made his way towards us and slipped under the covers. Molly, lying beside her father, wrapped her arms around him and burrowed her head under his chin.
"I missed you," she confessed so wistfully that my throat tightened. I peeked at Percy, watching as he blinked harshly, staring down at Molly with a complicated smile.
"I missed you too," he assured her steadily, peering at me from over our daughters, "All of you."
"Don't go away again," Molly insisted sleepily as I settled more comfortably on the bed. I hoped it seemed like I was trying to get comfortable instead of trying my best to appear unaffected by our daughter's earnest desires.
"But I wasn't gone." Even at Percy's insistence, Molly wasn't convinced, despite being on the brink of sleeping.
"Yes, you were."
There was a long silence and I closed my eyes, hoping to fall asleep before Percy could say a thing. It didn't work. Molly and Lucy slept between us and yet, it was the closest I'd felt to him in the longest time.
Careful not to wake our daughters, Percy spoke softly, "Is she right? Have I been gone?"
"Lucy would check to see if your clothes were still home," I confessed in a whisper. "She thought you'd left."
When he spoke next, it was as a heated whisper that would have been much louder if the girls weren't asleep, "Fuck."
And then there was nothing said. How could there be anything else to say to that?
**********
It was difficult, raising two children while both parents were working. I knew it would have been easier if our daughters had been raised in the muggle world – they were of school age and we wouldn't have had to worry so much about ensuring that they were well looked after. Enrolling them in the preparation classes for Hogwarts was the best decision for them in the end. It appeased my mother-in-law who insisted that it was the parental duty to prepare children for their Hogwarts education and it helped my daughters by teaching them some much needed control over their accidental magic. The classes added some essential stability into their lives and I could go to work with little guilt.
Only, what was I supposed to do now that I wasn't heading off to work today? Without the girls here to occupy me, what was I going to do in an empty house? Just the idea of entering the house with only my spiralling thoughts to keep me company was almost enough to have me walking to one of the coffee shops near our home. But there was a nagging voice in my head – sounding like my mother-in-law, who insisted that my daughters needed to have more decent home cooked meals. I knew that she for one despaired that our daughters were being raised by two work obsessed parents. If only she knew quite how right she was about work doing damage to our family.
Her voice was enough to have me stopping by the shops to buy groceries and then heading home. The girls loved their fish pie and I had enough time to make one for them before they got home. Setting the bags of shopping down in the hallway, I removed my coat and scarf and sent them back to their place with a swish of my wand. Levitating the bags to follow me, I kicked off my shoes and returned them to their rightful place on the shoe rack. Walking through the living room and into the kitchen, my feet slowed to a halt at the man nursing a cup of tea as he leaned against the counter.
"Percy?" I started cautiously, putting the bags onto the counter. Conscious that my husband was watching me, I kept my eyes focused on the shopping and started to put everything away.
"I took the day off," he said from behind me, startling me so much that the bottled milk slipped out of my hands. Reacting in a heartbeat, my wand was out and catching the bottle before it could shatter onto the ground. Clutching it between two hands, I turned back towards Percy, finding his eyes on me. "I owled in today and took some time off work."
"That's not – that's not how it's supposed to work." Diverting my attention once more to the shopping, I went out of my way to take ages putting the food away.
"No, it's not but the Minister owed me a favour."
"Of course – for the special team you helped put together."
"The right way would have been to arrange the time off weeks in advance, like you did." Feeling caught, I rested against the counter across from Percy. His not being at work was so startling that I was left reeling for something to do. "Why did I find out last night from the Minister of all people that you took a month off work? Wasn't that something we should've discussed?"
"Yes, you're right. It's something we should've discussed." Clearing my throat, I finally spoke pointedly; this wasn't a conversation we could hide behind any longer. "But you haven't been around to discuss this or anything for that matter Percy."
"I know I haven't been around much but –"
"You haven't been around at all." He clamped his mouth shut, falling silent and letting me speak. "One of the girls' teachers from school came to talk to me because the girls were showing troubling signs of loneliness – loneliness Percy. We both come home, after working our arses off for the Ministry, and the girls get to see me for an hour or two before they go to bed but they don't see you. I had to take time off, for them."
"I don't understand." Putting his cup down and pinching the bridge of his nose, Percy breathed out a sigh. "It was working – It was working until only recently so why everything is falling apart now?"
"Because we used to be a team," I said simply. "It would work because we were a team and we actively tried to make sure that work didn't interfere with our family but ... that's not true anymore. Not for both of us. The girls – our family were supposed to be the number one priority, but they're not anymore, not for you –"
"That's not true." Pushing away from the counter, Percy approached me, reaching out to cradle my face in his hand. I shook my head, turning away from him even as he insisted softly, "That's not true."
"I hope it's not true," I confessed in a shaky whisper, holding his eyes – just as beautiful as they were the first time, I saw them unobscured without his glasses. "I really hope that's not true because despite it all, I love you with all my heart Percy. But ... But I love them more. And if I have to make a decision that is best for them, even if it's a decision I don't like, I'm going to have to take it."
"You don't mean that." For the first time, he sounded uncertain, drawing back from me and lowering his hand to his side. Shaking his head, Percy said once more, trying to sound more assured, "You don't mean that. Things can't have gotten that bad."
"Well they have." His eyes, growing unbearable to hold, had me looking away, ducking away from him to put some more space between us. "You're working on something you don't tell me about, staying away from home for ridiculous hours and returning smelling of random women's perfume and –"
"And that's nothing." He took an earnest step towards me. "Godric, I love you so how could you even think about something like that?"
"I love you too Percy – but Rowena, doesn't it say something that that's how bad things have gotten? That for a moment I actually thought you were capable of something like that?"
"So, what are we supposed to do then?" Approaching me once more, Percy took me by the arms, holding me close and speaking solemnly, "You have to give me a chance to make things right. Please, love, don't do this to us. Give me a chance – now that I'm finished helping the Minister I'll be home more –"
"Until you're called in to do something else."
"That's not fair –"
"It's not fair for Molly and Lucy to be second fiddle to your work." Swallowing thickly and speaking faintly to soften the blow, I reminded him, "I know you Percy. When the Minister seeks you out for something only you can do, you're not going to be able to turn him away."
"Please," he said again and this time he sounded so much like a little child that I wondered if I'd reduced him to that. "You have to let me try something. I know you haven't made the final decision yet, if you had, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. You have to let me make this right."
"It won't be easy," I warned him and Percy, sensing my relent, reached out and placed a gracious kiss on my lips.
For the first time in a long time, with both of us home at the same time, we settled into a well-rehearsed routine that made up the earlier years of our marriage. I thought it would take a lot of time, that it would be awkward and yet it wasn't. It came almost as easy as breathing to have Percy on my left, working alongside me to make the fish pie for our daughters. It was so familiar that Percy moved without having to be told what to do.
It was Percy that went to collect the girls from their preparation classes and when they returned, it was the happiest I'd seen them in a long time. I knew it was all because their father was there. They clung to his side, playing with him and laughing and speaking all sorts of incessant things as they caught him up on their lives. It wasn't everything, but it was the start.
**********
1 YEAR LATER
The Ministry, despite how tightly their finances were being scrutinised by the general public, always loved to throw celebrations. More so when the holiday season approached and they had an actual excuse for throwing one such celebration. It was during these parties that Ministry officials gathered and mingled and the parties were more often than not a networking opportunity, rather than the chance to relax. Such parties were important for everyone that wished to carry favour with the Minister of Magic and if you did wish to carry favour, then it simply could not be missed.
But we did miss it. Just last year, the idea of missing one of these events would've been impossible. I knew how much it meant to Percy for us to attend, to make sure that the Minister knew he was worthy of a promotion and I'd begin the struggle of seeking out someone to babysit our children and convincing our daughters that they would be fine, that we'd return in the night when they were asleep. Really, despite all of the extra effort that Percy had been putting in to re-establishing his place in our home, I'd expected Percy to want to go. Especially if he was really on the brink of getting that promotion like my co-workers had insisted he was.
I'd been surprised when Percy, at breakfast as I'd tried to discuss our babysitter options, had told me that he didn't want to go to the party – that he would much rather go on holiday with the girls. Perhaps I had been the most surprised – more that our daughters had been, and certainly more than the Minister had been. But I'd left him to it, hoping that he'd understood how thankful I was because I certainly didn't have the words to express it. In the lead up to the holiday period, I'd return home from work to find Percy home, with our daughters settled around him and making plans about this super-secret family holiday that I wasn't supposed to know about. It was insane – something I had never thought possible, but within the week, we were preparing to head out of the country for our first family holiday to snowy Norway.
Molly and Lucy who had been over excited about the trip, promptly crashing and falling asleep before the time for our Portkey arrived. Percy, cradling Molly in his arms went ahead and spoke to the Ministry officials about the Portkey and I hung back, holding Lucy as she slept with her head resting on my shoulder. I watched from behind, smiling and hiding the smile in my daughter's hair as Percy adjusted Molly in his arms but continued to speak with the worker responsible for our safe travel. It was too early to be content with Percy but this Percy was the one I had married, the one that I lived a peaceful home life with up until a couple of years ago. But that was in the past now.
Lucy murmured something in her sleep, falling silent when I shushed her and rocked her slowly. After conducting the final checks, Percy returned to my side, offering me a patient, if tired smile, but what else could I expect, given how early it was in the morning?
"Everything alright?" I asked quietly, careful not to wake Lucy as Percy sat on the chair beside my own, as we waited to be escorted to our Portkey.
"Everything's fine," he assured me, taking one of my hands from where I was cradling Lucy and raising it to his lips. Releasing it, he looked between our daughters, "Do you think they'll like it?"
"Once they're awake, they'll love it," I said around a yawn that had Percy struggling to hide his amusement.
Rolling my eyes for him to see, I let my lids fall shut and leaned my head on Percy's free shoulder. I felt him rest his head on top of mine, even as he gently admonished, "I told you last night to get some sleep because we'd have to wake up early."
"And leave you alone with your pre-holiday freak out?" I scoffed, peeking my eyes open and turning my head to look at him, "I've known you for too long to even think that doing that would make anything run smoothly."
"The same way I know to leave you well alone before you have to give a presentation." He was teasing me, hoping to get a reaction out of me and it worked. Lifting my head, I mock glared at him from beneath narrowed lids. Percy glanced away from me to hide the way his smile was widening, "It's how I know to keep the kids away from you as well – in case you make them sit down as part of the pretend audience for your presentation. It's bad enough you make me do that."
"Hey – you said you enjoyed hearing about my work."
"And I do," he assured, stealing a kiss from me that he wouldn't have been able to do if the girls were awake.
It was strange, but as of late, Molly and Lucy refused to allow us to kiss. I had an inkling that it was to do with Victoire telling them that kissing led to parents having a baby brother and the girls hated that idea. Before I could confess to Percy my hypothesis behind the girl's sudden aversion to our showing affection, we were called forward to go to the Portkey.
Standing with some effort, we made our way outside towards where the portkey was waiting, settled on the top of what looked like a garden table. Approaching the Portkey, a nondescript watering can, we waited until the Ministry worker gave us the signal and then clutched the Portkey. Then we were off. Closing my eyes against the horrible sensation, I held Lucy close to me as travelling by Portkey had her startling awake. With a petrified cry, she burrowed her head into my shoulder and clung to me.
When we finally met the ground, with us thankfully reaching the floor gently and on our feet, I set about consoling a scared Lucy and rocking her back to sleep. When I glanced over at Percy, I found him very much occupied in doing the same thing. Over the top of our daughter's heads, we shared an incredulous look. Soon enough, they settled and were tired enough to be asleep,
Once they were contented, I let Percy walk ahead of me to sort out our check in and slowly followed him into the hotel. The staff, realising that our children were asleep, were quick to help us and showed us to our room. Our room, a family room with two bedrooms, was so reminiscent of the late honeymoon we took that I shot a curious glance at Percy who simply met my look with a smile and walked ahead of me to put Molly onto one of the single beds in the smaller bedroom. He returned moments later, stealing Lucy away from me and tucking her in. Leaving Percy to tend to our children, I removed the backpack from my back and retrieved our bags that had been charmed to a far smaller size and pulled them out. Putting them on the floor and magicking them back to their original size, I kneeled beside them to open them.
Percy's voice stopped me before I could, "You can leave that until later."
Standing, I turned to the doorway that Percy had walked through to join me in the main bedroom. He came to my side, holding my hand as I tried to protest, "There's no point in putting it off."
"We should get some sleep before the girls wake up," he insisted, wrapping his arms around me and drawing me into his arms.
Breathing in his soothing scent, I wrapped my arms around him and couldn't help but laugh when he rocked us side to side as if I was Molly or Lucy who needed to be lulled to sleep. "You know that they're going to wake up the moment we fall asleep."
"Maybe we should've left them behind," Percy joked, wincing when I slapped his back. "Next time then."
"Next time," I agreed.
____________________
The next one shot is going to be posted on the 2nd. Here are the hints:
* Pureblooded
* Seeker
* Slytherin
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