What if Remus had been in love with Lily since the start? What if he just never had the courage to tell her, even less so when James confessed his love for her? Just imagine them: 14 year old Remus up in the library, hanging with Lily, laughing over nerd things, making fun of people, coming up with smart remarks and getting kicked out of the library for chatting too loudly. Imagine little James noticing that they were close and getting Remus to put in a good word for him, getting him to pass notes between them, asking Remus for advice. And Remus doing all of those things because James is his best friend, but inside it's killing him, and no one knows how much. Imagine him tearing up at James and Lily's wedding, not only because he's so happy for them, but because it's shed his last hope. But Remus never saying anything because he'd rather kill himself than admit it to James. Imagine him turning away every time they kiss, because it hurts so fUckiNg much, like daggers digging into his stomach, like a thousand needles slamming into his skin, like his heart being ripped away from his body...