y'know when you can't sleep??

you're not sure what it is, maybe you're stressed or your brain won't shut up but you just can't shut off????

i always get that on sunday nights, even when there's no school.

there's lots of things on my mind and this book is for me to talk or rant or whatever but i've got trust issues (not that i'd normally admit that, but hey ho it's the internet so nobody irl can see this) so i don't think i'll say anything.

i like writing, i really do. it's grounding. i've always loved it, ever since i was little. i used to make up little stories and every toy i owned had a backstory. whenever i played games there had to be a plot otherwise i'd refuse to play. english was my favourite subject for ages, creative writing was my strong point. then, i'm not quite sure what happened, i grew up? or maybe i just lost that spark. i stopped writing as i felt it wasn't good enough and there wasn't a point to it. i didn't make up stories anymore, if i did i always got writers block so they were never finished. but it's different now. i'm writing again. yes, it's fanfiction but it counts as writing in my mind. my spark has come back and it does vanish from time to time but i can always rely on it to be there in my times of trouble. writing is such a lovely experience, never not give it a try. you, you, have the power to control the characters in the story, what they say, what they do, how they act and the entire plot. isn't that amazing??? nobody else gets to tell you what to do or how to write it, it's all up to you. you can take characters that already exist and completely twist them, giving them new hobbies and brand new personalities that nobody else has thought of trying before. and once you find your style, that's it! when you figure out your writing style it's like learning how to walk, you used to crawl along the page not knowing what to do with yourself but now you can run across pages because you understand it all! not only that, but you don't have to stick to that one style! you can have several styles and they all reflect you as a person! isn't that so magical? the whole concept of writing and reading and being able to feel or make someone else feel something just with a couple words on a page??

wow, i'm in awe.

and on that note, goodnight!

harris :))))))