The cafeteria swarmed with people, a round table full of water bottles amid the confusion was one of the only free spots.

  Sitting here alone while Theodore went somewhere, as I nibbled my nails and nervously stared at the nothingness. I suspect he probably would never come back. Maybe he passed out somewhere out of embarrassment or maybe he is piecing together a lame excuse, that will mean nothing the next time he shows up intoxicated on my bedroom floor.

  Suddenly, like he is used to doing by now, he walks slowly, his demeanor so ever calm only makes me want to tick him off. He walks like he's on the top of the world as if nothing in this world matters, his tan from the summer well spent on the coast of Italy stands out in the crowd of pale individuals. And without a care in the world, he smiles.

  I had this conversation prepared on the tip of my tongue, so I just went ahead and started it.

  "Before, you apologize I just want to say..." He sat beside me with those same dark eyes from last year. "I can forgive you but I will never forget." Theodore looked at his sandwich as if it just lost its taste and he put it back at his plate.

  As he tried to not look too concerned about the matter he looked down as he nervously fixed his sleeves "You know Harry, I changed a lot!"

  People all around growing and changing, however, Theodore Miller, that rude and entitled friend of mine was the only person I couldn't believe had changed.

  Not even a tiny bit.

  He remained calm but I was one of the few people who knew that was only outside "Have you ever heard that people who claim that, are the ones who didn't change?" I would never let him get away with this one.

  "I'm sorry...about everything." His eyes more sincere than I have ever seen, gazing somewhere faraway "I should have called but-"

  "But what Theo? You know what? Yesterday, I didn't even know if I wanted to see your face!" I made sure to breathe slowly so I could remain as calm as possible. "I didn't know whether I should hate or miss your idiot self!" I glanced around grasping for peace of mind, remembering I had yet to eat something.

  He regained his attitude back and his sincere eyes from a few seconds vanished. "I'm not asking for forgiveness, but you still are my only pipsqueak best friend. I wanted to help you out somehow..." He took a bite out of his lunch.

  "Because I'm your best friend you did all that?" Before he left to Italy he made a huge scene, after school, one day, he somehow had the brilliant idea to watch some crappy thriller movie while he got wasted for the third time that week and that escalated to jumping over from his balcony to mine at 2 am and almost falling off the building. He then woke me up and insisted he would investigate my parent's murder, for that he just needed a car key. He repeatedly said how talented of a detective he was. I sent him back home and hoped Ms. Miller would be home by the morning to take care of that dumbass. I also waited and waited for the usual apology that never came as he traveled to Italy the very next day.

  He glanced at my face and sighed "You still have a hard time falling asleep. Am I right?" Theo inquired with an annoying soft tone in his voice "Besides that it was not a "crappy movie". It was Criminal Minds, do you know how interesting that show is?" he rapidly avoided the disgustingly heartwarming moment.

  As if he has the right to ask that.

  I couldn't lose my cool over this. He is indeed an idiot who doesn't see the consequences but most of the time he means well amid all that stupidity.

  "What can you even do about it?" I laughed as I do often when it comes to talking about all my trauma. If all those medicines and counselors don't make my brain turn off properly. It is not Theodore Miller who is going to solve that!

  He nervously messed around with his bangs and glanced at the ceiling "You don't remember what you told me while bailing your eyes out? Sincerely HARRIET ALLARD, you're heartless!" Theo mischievously looked around, while I blushed up to my ears. I mean it's just another misunderstanding that will never be fixed and that will make me look bad, even if I tried to correct it people just tend to think I'm such a stuck up person.

  Theodore knew exactly what he was doing by blurting that so loudly." The hell Theodore!And you've only been here for one day for god's sake. How will I survive the rest of the year?!" His muffled chuckles couldn't have made me more pissed.

  "I mean it's not technically a lie..." he pulled out his phone and searched for something. "Here, the 14th of October, the day I got incredibly wasted!" as he said that he shoved his phone in my face, a page open on last year's calendar.

  I dodged the screen, placed right in front of me.

  "What are you talking about? I remember a certain someone crying and not me!" I said as a payback, even though I was not as loud as Theo.

  "Yeah, I was the one who cried..." He whispered those words like it was a crime "But you indeed told me something interesting!". Could he be more amused by all of this than he was? I honestly don't think it's possible.

  I sighed deeply so he would notice "I probably told you something to brush your drunken ass out of my room!".

  "Let's just say you need my help." How the hell did I not remember what I said? I was not the drunk one and yet I have no idea.

  My brain was going in all sorts of directions, this couldn't be worse, what could I have told him that made him think that I needed him. Did I tell him I-

  His fingers tapping the table and his finished lunch told me his concern was all show. How could I think otherwise? "Relax you didn't say something awkward." His phone laid on his trail as he picked it up and searched for something.

  "Tell me already! I literally will punch you if this is a joke. You're making me anxious!" I'm a calm and composed person, delicate like a spring flower. Or at least that's what I'll try to convince myself.

  "Easy, girl-" his face lights up. "Nelo Village, that's partly what you told me!"

  "You're not making any sense. Sure, that's my hometown but li-"

  "I did some digging and I found out something interesting..." he proudly smiled.

  "What the hell did I tell you?" It must be something extremely embarrassing. Geez, what is it?

  If I wasn't in the cafeteria I would have screamed and made him tell me exactly what it was that he knew.

  He took a look at my face, I was visibly confused, almost in a panic.

  "I swear you're always like this." He picked the trash all around the table and put in his trail "Do you remember what I promised?"

  "Yeah, you ate my dessert for a month because of that."

  "I was nine years old Harriet, you're so resentful! I promised I wouldn't tell your secrets to anyone and you would do the same. Simple as that." He hurriedly dressed his jacket as he laughed.

  "So you're telling you won't tell my secrets even to me?" I was speechless at that point, the cafeteria emptied as the bell was about to ring.

  "Pipsqueak If I could have chosen, you know I would have stayed. Right?" I did not have the answer he wanted to hear so I stayed quiet "I know you guys suffered a lot because of me but I swear if only I could explain..." Theo picked up his backpack as if he was in a hurry.

  I could say that people always have a choice but that's something he wouldn't take well.

  "You don't need to explain, just tell me what you know about Nelo Village. That will be enough. I guess..." Anyone that knows me well enough will know my failed attempts to know the truth about my past, my search for the closure I deserve. Poor attempts so anything he had could be precious.

  "So, I talked with Lily and Leon..." he took a sudden deep breath "Well you will see when we go there for the weekend!" He was ready to leave as calm as ever just like that. After making me extremely confused. What was it that he said? "I swear you're always like this!"

  "Won't your mom complain? I mean, you just came back-"

  "What do you think?" I also know the answer to that but that's another thing he will have to figure out by himself. What use would it be, if he isn't willing to hear?

  And just like a breeze, he left, leaving me confused as usual.