A/N: mature content.

"Fuck," I groaned, squeezed my eyes tighter shut, and pressed my elbows forwards. The cool glass chilled my heated skin with a needle pin prick-like sensation, just for a moment, before I brought my arms back overhead. "Harder."

"I'm -" Jake grunted out, squeezed my breasts with an added pinch that elicited a sharp sting on both my nipples, and bucked his hips hard into me. "- trying."

My lower back arched off where his stomach bumped against it as he drove into me from behind, his hands clenched onto my breasts like handlebars and teeth practically attached to my neck. I wasn't sure what show we'd given Jake's neighbors at this point since we'd fogged over his bedroom window from where we opted for our quick-fuck round.

Most of Jake filled me up, but he had limited movement from the angle of him where he stood behind me. In a vain attempt for deeper penetration, I pressed my shoulders against his chest, bent my elbows, and cupped my hands around the back of his head. Tension gripped me from how he felt so close but just out of reach. Under the irritation that wreaked havoc inside me, I threaded my fingers through his hair and yanked down hard.

An abrupt sting burst on my lower lip when my upper teeth gnashed down. Under the tension that swelled up and wreaked havoc inside me, my blood surged through my veins, sweat dotted my skin, and hot aches throbbed in my pelvis. Physically I felt pushed up, up, up... and then dangled on an edge that I desperately wanted myself flung over.

Or even better, shoved by Jake.

With a grunt, I palmed Jake's window ledge, pushed him slightly back with my ass, and hinged over. The shifted position, more like standing doggy-style at this point, resulted in my forehead bumped slightly against the glass. A loud sigh rushed out of my lungs when Jake submerged himself fully in me within one thrust.

My initial relief was short-lived and replaced by moans and gasps as Jake drove harder into me. His skin smacked into my lower folds on each thrust until they stung and throbbed. His hands crushed my breasts in his palms, which sent shockwaves of tingled arousal across my chest and lower into the heated mess camped out in my lower belly.

The internal aches and pressure in me built up quickly, I released a soft cry when one of Jake's hands reached around my hip and gently smacked my outer mound. Heat chased the slight sting of light contact, like he tested for my reaction, and I rammed my hips backwards on his next forward push.

Grateful he hadn't needed any further encouragement, my teeth clenched tighter as Jake delivered a harder smack, which erupted a sharper, much more satisfying burst of a sting and heated afterglow. My insides coiled when he smacked again, with a louder crack chased by a loud moan that vibrated the entire column in my throat.

"Ahh!" I whimpered as he cupped his palm over the area, and rubbed his thumb over the more sensitive nerves bundled in the top of my folds. He touched me more gently but heated pulses erupted at every contact point. My eyes fluttered closed and I sank my teeth into my forearm when his thumb and forefinger pinched down.

Like he'd pressed a magic button on my lady bits, my insides clamped down and arousal seeped out of me. Slicked, squelchy sounds erupted between us and I moaned as my insides cramped up slightly, spasmed involuntarily, then relaxed with a much-needed release. Satisfaction and relief flowed through me as much as the emptiness that finally flushed out the tension.

"Ohhh..." I hummed and thrust my hips back as Jake's hard, relentless strokes continued. "Yes... Harder, Jake."

Silently, he moved his hands and grounded them on my hips. With his own fast, unrelenting pace, he tugged me against him and fucked me harder. My body jerked so hard that my downward view of my feet blurred, the skin on my ass shook, and my breasts painfully flopped forwards and back. Shameless groans and wetness surged out of me as he pumped and yanked my hips so hard a soft pop sound erupted on each thrust. My fingers pressed into the window sill as he used me mercilessly and, even post-orgasm, I fucking loved him for that.

It. I mean, I loved it.

Quick, dirty, and minimal conversation fucking was apparently what Jake also needed today, since he groaned loudly and flooded his warmth into the condom a few minutes later. Warm pulses twitched inside me, like my folds vibrated around his shaft as he pumped a few more times with rolled circles of his hips, then withdrew slowly. His lips softly pressed in between my shoulder blades and I stood up slowly with a slight headrush sensation that dizzied my brain.

As Jake's foggy window blurred from view, I squeezed my eyes closed and my fingertips met my forehead. Ragged breaths pitched my chest, my brain felt stuffed full of cotton balls, and I braced one shaky hand on Jake's wall.

"Hey..." his deep voice murmured into my shoulder as his heated, damp hands wrapped around my waist. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I mumbled and blinked my eyes open, although I still saw two versions of Jake's window, then his concerned face over my shoulder. "Little dizzy for a moment, that's all. Thanks."

"Did you eat?" He tucked his chin over my shoulder and I turned my gaze back to the window when he slipped his arms around me in a hug from behind. His flaccid cock, now absent the condom, pressed in between my ass cheeks. In addition to the wall of heat he radiated into my back, warmth flowed out from his pelvis like a heating pad.

My lips curled up at the corners. "You didn't ask."

His low-tone chuckle vibrated my shoulder. "I meant lunch."

"I'll pick up an early dinner on my way back," I assured him, turned around, and caught the two pm time on his clock. My ankle wobbled with my first attempted step and his arms squeezed me so tightly that he choked the air out of my lungs.

"Sit." His arms guided me around, until the softness of his bed hit the back of my bare legs.

"I'm fine -" I started when his giant ass frame leapt forwards and tackled me.

What the fuuu-

"Uck!" My head snapped back and released a grunt at the slammed contact. Technically, Jake just leapt onto the bed, his arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me back with him. An unattractive grunt left me on the impact, which was only a soft poof of his girly bedding underneath my back.

"Seriously?" My eyes narrowed at him and I palmed the bed. "Now I see why you don't do that in games."

His only response was his arm wrapped around my waist, turned me over, and the asshole turned me into his little spoon.

"Oh, fuck no -" I started when his kneels curled up the back of mine and pounded my fist into the bicep that squeezed over my shoulder.

"Shh..." he whispered into the back of my head.

Not sure if he's getting cuter or the amount of fucks I give is - wait, cuter?

Fuck, just kill me now.

My eyes fluttered closed for a deep, exaggerated breath that relaxed my back against his chest. Jake released a satisfied sigh as his elbow tucked over my waist and curled his torso around me like an electric blanket of warmth.

I know now what sits at the bottom of a barrel of dicks, the mushiest dick of them all.

Since silence filled with Jake's soft breaths panted on the back of my neck was awkward as fuck, I blurted out the closest version of pillow talk we managed between us, "So, uhh... My roommate Li loves Kieran."

When warmth rose into my cheeks, I realized that Jake's reverse hug wasn't the most hideous position he could've picked. The full chest-to-chesticles version was a lot worse. At his silence, I glanced over my shoulder.

A few dark strands of his hair stuck against his temples, his cheeks were pink, and lips parted open slightly. A few seconds after my movement, his dark eyes slowly opened, then focused on mine like he waited for a reaction and a soft smile played on his lips.

"She really loves Meade?" His breath fanned over me warmly.

I swallowed hard as my cheeks tingled and cooled, like the blood drained out of them. Sweat also glistened and highlighted the corded muscles in his neck and across his chest. I reached one back and brushed my knuckles over the damp, sparse hairs collected there.

"I guess. She was heart-eyed and going all top-twenty hit list of her favorite Meade qualities when I left." I rolled onto my side, away from the warmth that pooled in Jake's eyes. "Good for them, I guess."

"What do you mean, you guess?" His chin tucked over my shoulder, while I rested the side of my face into one of his pillows and closed my eyes. Shuffled movement behind me was followed by his lips brushed over my neck, followed by a lazy, sloppy kiss.

Better than the turtleneck of hickeys he gave me the other week.

The morning after Jake had used me as his personal chew toy, I stood at the bathroom sink, wrapped up in my post-shower towel and got ready for class. Li shrieked loudly at my bruised up neck and I nearly swallowed my toothbrush. I assured her, more than once, that I was fine and didn't need a trip to the health center. By the way her head shook, she hadn't believed my definition of love bites either.

Hickeys. I meant hickeys.

"Meade's replacing your posters, one by one," I grinned and changed the subject. "Vastly upgraded improvement for me to wake up to."

"Don't act like you aren't moving mine to your side of the room," he teased and tugged my back flush with his hard chest.

"I can't decide if they should be burned, used as dart boards, or given the same treatment you gave my dildos," I grumbled back as the weight of his hand palmed the top of my head.

His voice softened and bordered a whine, "We can fix that wake-up problem, you know."

My eyes flipped open when his hand dragged down my head, around the curve of my neck, then lifted off and repeated the downward path.

"Are you... fucking... petting me?" My nose wrinkled tightly and I was pretty sure my shoulders were higher than my ears from how hard I scrunched them up.

"Think of it like a head massage," was his grumbled response.

I lifted my head up, turned back, and examined his face. Even with his eyes closed and meaty hand on the top of my head, the same soft smile played on his lips. With a slight grunt, his hand gently rolled my head back down to his pillow.

"Your hair was sticking to my arm," he offered and ran his palm over my hair again. This time his fingertips pressed into my scalp, which admittedly wasn't the worst feeling and fluttered my eyes closed. "And yours looks like you lost a fight with a hurricane, although I like your freshly fucked look."

"You would." My shoulders relaxed at the cocky response, which comforted me a lot more than the petting zoo treatment. My stomach rumbled uncomfortably and growled a reminder of its neglect, which opened my eyes. "I should go."

"Or, I can grab you a plate of leftovers from downstairs before Griff raids the fridge at two-thirty for his second-lunch." Before I protested, Jake removed his hand from my head, latched it around my chest, and added, "Most of the guys are eating lunch at their desks and studying now anyways. I'm not taking no for an answer, just asking how much you want."

At the seriousness in Jake's voice, combined with the way his callous thumb now traced arcs over the underside of my left breast, I got the sense he wasn't just talking about my food portion sizes.

"Fine," I relented with a groan.

"Good." He rolled off the bed, slipped on a pair of sweatpants, and assured me, "Be right back."

Once the lock clicked behind him, I slipped out of bed and dressed myself, one strewn aside clothing item at a time. When my fingers tangled into my hair, I groaned quietly and grabbed his hairbrush on the top of his dresser. With short steps, I walked down to the bathroom, where I used the toilet because fuck, no thank you on UTIs.

A small smirk played on my lips at the blonde hair souvenir I wound into Jake's hairbrush, but froze after I was done and gaped at my appearance in the mirror. My usual freshly fucked signs were all present, from my relaxed shoulders, forehead, and jaw, flushed pink skin on my cheeks and upper chest, and swollen lips. Past that, my eyes burned brightly, like my irises were two backlit aquamarine crystals. My skin looked sun-kissed, like it glowed with a calm, sated sensation.

Fuck, I look... happy? No, I -

A loud pound on the door jumped me out of that thought. I exhaled sharply at Jake's muffled, "You in there?" and opened the door to him holding two plates of steaming chicken and spinach, one of which he waved under my nose.

"Thanks," I rasped out, a bit unnerved by where my own internal admissions had headed but thankful he'd interrupted them.

If I'd known the conversation Jake brought up when we ate, then I would've preferred lap food in my car while I drove back. His eyes looked up from his plate, full of determination. "I told Emily not to come into my room anymore. I don't know how she gets in but I'll get the house locks changed if I need to."

Whatever enjoyment I'd gotten out of the steamed spinach evaporated and the bite on my tongue felt like I'd eaten grass. "You'd better have, if you want me bouncing on your pogo meatstick anymore."

"If I can ask..." he paused and frowned, like he had a question he knew I wouldn't like. Typical Jake asked anyways, which I actually preferred over the alternative that he held himself back, "What the fuck happened between you and Sophia?"

My shoulders relaxed at a casual topic, but eyebrows drew together at the unfamiliar name. "Who?"

"Zach's girlfriend," he answered in a dry tone. "Short, Hispanic girl, dark brown hair... Emily's roommate."

Desperate-for-dick's roommate is a WAG? Fucking fantastic.

"So, a matchmaker," I mumbled my assumption, which was usually accurate, at least when it came to scheming girls. With a slight lean back against the end of Jake's bed, where I sat on his bedroom floor, I ran through the fortunately short list of experiences I'd had with USC-WAGS.

While all the girlfriends sat within the same section, Jake's seats, and apparently Evan's, were two rows ahead of most of the other player's. Half the time those girls name-dropped, gossiped, and bragged about their boyfriends. The other half the time, they complained about stupid shit that melted my brain cells the longer I listened to any of it. None of the time they spent actually watching the game.

For those reasons alone, I was grateful for the row of space between us. I had no desire that I crossed over that invisible barrier and socialized with girls I regarded with the same level of indifference as sidewalk strangers at UCLA.

What I'd thought was an obvious cold shoulder hadn't deterred a select few who'd stupidly approached me with the audacity that my only worth was as Jake's girlfriend. One hurled insult at a time, each promptly returned to her seats with a bruised ego, huffed or pouted, and whispered about among her 'friends.'

So many insults, so few brain cells that appreciated them.

And I thought a few were pretty good... I could get herpes just listening to your life story. Hugging you is like wearing a sandpaper bra. I'm really trying not to roast you, 'cause plastic melts.

No appreciation for being brutally honest.

"I..." I paused since Sophia hadn't stood out from the heifer herd. "Sorry not sorry, have I ever given you any hint that I gave a fuck about those loose-lipped bitches?"

"Harper," Jake groaned quietly and set aside his empty plate. "I might have an unhealthy appreciation of your insults, but -

"For the record, I wasn't talking about these ones either." I smirked and tapped the lips on my face.

"Fuck, stop..." He closed his eyes but the slight shake of his shoulders showed why I actually preferred his company over...

Don't answer your own thoughts, Harper.

"If you want me to read your mind then, for fuck's sake, give me more to work with here," I goaded him dryly.

Jake opened his eyes and the warm, teasing look slowly drained out of them. My smile disappeared at his next words, "I just can't deal with girl drama during the season."

"Which is why I avoid the jersey-chasing bitches," I retorted and narrowed my eyes. "So if one of them has a problem then I suggest either a makeover or more duct tape than what I keep in my trunk and a trip to the nearest seaside cliff."

"Harper..." Jake shook his head but his lips twitched upwards at my words. "I know it's not you but you know that shit spills over to the guys."

I leaned my head back against the end of Jake's bed and closed my eyes. A short, dark-brown haired girl who'd approached me at the last practice I'd attended, when their catty eyes and gossipy claws first became aware of my presence, popped into my mind.

I flipped my eyes open and told Jake the truth, "Nothing happened between me and Zach's girlfriend, except I made it clear that I wasn't interested in joining their little sorority."

"Well, they think you don't like them," he replied with another chuckle because that should've been obvious.

I blinked blankly a few times, because that was the entire fucking point in me ignoring or, if needed, insulting their pathetically blown-out, over-manicured existence. "So?"

"I just don't want drama," he grumbled quietly, followed by a few words that sounded a lot like, "Like we agreed on."

"Drama!?" I screeched and sat upright. "You want to talk about drama?"

Jake visibly gulped, like he should have. My right index finger jabbed sharply into the airspace between us as I mentally jabbed it right into each of his balls. "You've had a girl, the same fucking one and Sophia's roommate, not just in your room but your fucking bed!"

I shoved my half-filled and discarded plate towards Jake. "How the fuck would you feel if it were me with another guy? My answer hasn't changed, but your locks sure need to be."

His hand enclosed around my wrist as I stood up, and tugged me towards him. Thrown off-balance, I stumbled forwards and kneed Jake right in between his legs.

"Ughh," he grunted out and hunched over. Somehow, he kept his grasp on me as I crashed and fell hard into his lap.

"You deserved that," I warned him as my shoulders slumped. In a weakass voice that I barely recognized, I muttered, "What do you want from me? I can't draw less attention from myself, Jake."

"Yeah, I..." Jake's voice faded as his hands smoothed my hair behind my ears and cupped around the back of my neck. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I know it's not you, Harper."

My lips parted when he tugged me forwards and gently grazed his mouth over them. His soft words, combined with the soft look of awe in his dark eyes, hit me hard, "The guys call you a ghost because you're damn near invisible, you never demand my attention...You're amazing and I'm lucky you want anything to do with my ass."

"Don't remind me," I grumbled, lowered my head, and rested my forehead against the warmth on the side of his neck. "Or next time I'm kneeing your balls on purpose, then sticking a drumstick up your ass."

"I'm reminding myself." He turned his head and pressed a soft kiss right near my hairline. His words and breath washed over the bridge of my nose, "I'll manage the guys and talk about the locks at our next house meeting. I'm sorry."

"Right..." I closed my eyes under the weight of this bullshit conversation.

From where I sat on his lap, I sagged against his chest. It lifted my shoulders with a slow, deep breath, then his arms wrapped around me. Normally Jake squeezed me tightly, like he trapped me against him. This time, his arms bracketed around my waist, his hands threaded over my stomach. The gentleness in his touch, to where he held me like I was fragile, felt as unfamiliar as the silent warmth that flowed behind the gesture.

My eyes dropped at the temptation of attachment dangled in front of me. Discomfort clenched my stomach as my usual resistance and self-preservation rose up inside me. The last shards of ice crystals around my frozen heart rattled with each warm, steady beat of his heart. The solitary, painful reason of why they were there in the first place also rose in my consciousness.

Abandonment.

Jake's gesture tapped into the cruel reality that such warmth and comfort in place of the normal emptiness in my heart weren't foreign elements in my life. Worse, they'd been dangled in front of me then wrenched away.

Including by him.

Seven years was a long time for growth away from being a stupid fourteen-year-old and I'd seen that in Jake, from his apologies to actions that had rivaled my own stubbornness. So many words I wanted spoken, questions answered, and doubts crept into my mind, then promptly died in the back of my dry throat.

My eyes fluttered closed, my spine rounded, and I slumped further over. Even though Jake felt as hard as I'd leaned against a wall, tension I hadn't realized knotted in my neck and shoulders dissolved under his heartbeats.

Even though just the thought scared me shitless, at that moment, his heart almost felt big enough to beat for both of ours.