I almost can't believe it. I fucking did it!

My cheeks hurt from how hard my smile pinched them. Even my eyes were tired from how often I'd blinked away tears, happy ones for once.

"Harps," Dad whispered hoarsely into my ears and hugged me tightly. "So proud of you."

"Thank you," I rasped out from the lump of pride and satisfaction that swelled up in my throat.

"Oh Harper!" Li flung her small frame against mine. "Congratulations!"

"Oof." My head bounced back a little from where her shoulder lodged into my neck but I laughed and hugged her back. "Thanks for putting up with me."

"Not done with you yet," she teased, hugged me again, then stepped back.

Kieran coughed quietly, his hands shoved in his pockets. "Congrats, Harper."

"Come here for an awkward hug, Friendzone." I grinned and opened up my arms. His chest bumped mine, a bit too hard, and it really was an awkward as fuck hug as his large hands clapped on my upper back versus my finger pats on his. "Take care of my roommate when she's done with me, okay?"

The past seven weeks had been boring yet eventful. From where I stood in our lecture hall room, which had been turned into an informal certification ceremony, finally, finally, I clutched a piece of paper that represented my paralegal certification. Technically, it was a blank piece of paper rolled up and tied with a black ribbon tied around it. I was almost positive it was just printer paper from within the School of Law's Administration Office, but I'd earned my real certification and it felt fucking fantastic.

I hadn't heard from Jake at all during this time but I hadn't given him my new number. Ellie had it but my phone had mostly stayed in silent mode since I'd had my own other distractions. Wyatt, who seemed like just as much of a night owl as I was, and I texted each other daily. My certification exam was a bitch in its own existence.

One lone exception was a statement Jake issued that defended my innocence in the whole leaked nudes stupidity, which Dad had sent me. I assumed it was an indirect nod of appreciation for the 'anonymous' recording of Ethan's idiotic admission that he was involved I'd just as 'anonymously' sent to UCLA's Athletic Department.

While I appreciated Jake's effort, I still kept to myself after I read his social media message. Time was all that shitstorm needed before the media moved onto the next big ratings grab.

As Li had hinted, I'd decided to stay at UCLA for my Bachelor's degree. I probably needed summer classes so that I caught up and finished by next spring, more than a year from now, but I was determined to go through with it.

Even though I'm losing my roommate this summer.

While their plans weren't set yet, Kieran and Li had both taken, and acceptably passed, their MCATs for med school. Their applications were still under review but they'd only applied to the same schools within the Los Angeles and San Diego areas.

They were still ridiculously cute, they still rolled around in Li's bed, and I was still equally disgusted and impressed that they hadn't broken it yet.

After Friendzone and I parted, a pair of warm, strong, inked up arms snaked around my waist from behind. A hard chest pushed against the back of my shoulders and soft lips kissed my left cheek. "So proud of you, beautiful."

"Me too," I boasted with a smirk, turned my head, and softly pressed my lips against Eddie's.

Yeah, that Eddie. California Highway Patrol Officer Edward Davis pulled me over three times, only one of which was an actual speed violation, before I agreed to go out with him.

Because of both our issues, we'd taken our relationship slowly. I wasn't sure if him being five years older, previously married, or just Eddie's personality made the difference, but I'd never met a more patient, genuinely caring guy. He never pressured me for more than what I was ready to give and insisted we slowed down the physical side. Sure, the sex was hot as fuck once we broke through that restraint but he was actually a truly great guy.

Eddie was the first guy I'd been with who was obsessed with talking, and not dirty talk. What he hadn't told me at our first reencounter was that communication breakdowns had crushed his marriage, then Eddie himself.

I still wasn't sure why, but he wanted to know everything about me, the good, the bad, why I swore so much, why I wasn't in a relationship yet although he got the idea pretty quickly. I wasn't sure how but he absorbed all that I threw at him without an air of judgment. His parents were divorced and his mom raised him, without much involvement from his dad, so we had an instant understanding from within our first real, open conversation.

Since then, we'd shared so many bittersweet moments, dinners, casual moments sitting on his apartment sofa, walking around campus or at the park near where he lived, or driving around LA, just talking. The open communication pointed out how horribly I'd treated Jake during our... arrangement. Jake had been open and understanding and unfortunately I hadn't.

At Jake's expense, Eddie taught me that being a work in progress was okay. After his obviously insane wife cheated on him and a nasty divorce followed, he was one too. Since I was too wrapped up in my own selfish needs, I had no idea at the time but he truly meant his words when he told me our roadside quickie had woken him back up from a state of perpetual numbness.

"Thank you." My cheeks warmed at the bouquet of red roses and light pink lilies he handed to me. "I thought you couldn't make it."

"Surprise." His hazel eyes twinkled.

"Then congrats, you get to meet my dad," I joked and tapped Dad's nearby shoulder. "Dad, this is my... boyfriend Eddie."

"I recognize him from the pictures," Dad said stiffly and shook Eddie's hand. His eyes roamed over the black ink that swirled up Eddie's forearms and disappeared under the short sleeves of his collared shirt.

They go further than that.

I smirked to myself because I'd traced every line of his ink, including the one on his -

"Nice to meet you, Sir," Eddie said with the straightest spine, like he'd snapped into work mode.

I burst out laughing. "Not a firing squad," I teased and pinched his closest side.

"Feels like it," he teased back and wrapped his arm around my waist.

Dad's eyes narrowed slightly as I patted Eddie's chest with my palm. "I think you'll be fine."

"Harper..." Wearing a frown of his own, Kieran grabbed my right elbow and tugged gently. "Can I speak to you?"

"Sure." I glanced at Li, who just lifted her small shoulders.

Kieran stepped about ten feet from my small semicircle of visitors, which was just Dad solo since Grace couldn't get off work, Eddie, and Li, then leaned over and frowned at me.

"What?" My eyebrows raised at his weird, and honestly judgmental, inspection.

"What are you doing with him," he demanded then flipped his eyes over my shoulder, presumably at Eddie.

"What are you doing with Li," I shot back with narrowed eyes because, the last I'd checked, my vagina was none of this guy's business.

"What about Jake?" he blurted out and locked his green gaze on mine.

Did he just? Him? The guy who... I think my brain just broke.

I blinked. That's it. I literally had no other response other than random croaks or gurgled sounds as my throat choked itself, so I blinked.

"Jake's in love with you," Kieran stated bluntly with a flash of irritation in his eyes. "He always has been. You should hear the stuff he'd said about you in high school. You were his biggest regret."

"Oh, thanks for turning one-eighty two months too late," I spat out sarcastically. "Pouring salt into my wounded vagina here."

"How Jake treated you always pissed me off." Kieran glared angrily, as if I should've known this information already. "But he was torn up every time you pushed him away."

"Why are you telling me this now," I demanded in a hushed voice and tightly squeezed my fists because the last guy I expected was in Jake's corner was this guy.

"He just... didn't deserve what happened between you two," Kieran mumbled quietly but I'd already closed my eyes. "Neither of you did. You're supposed -"

"I can't do this." My head shook back and forth at his sudden change of, well, sanity. "Not now, Friendzone."

His blonde-haired head silently nodded and thankfully the awkwardness of whatever the fuck that conversation was dissolved by the time I returned to Eddie's side. A few hours and a dinner filled with more teasing thrown at me than I was normally used to, Li and Kieran said their goodbyes.

Dad's departure was a lot more bittersweet but I was grateful he'd attended my graduation ceremony, even if it was just an informal name calling in our classroom auditorium.

"So proud of you, Harps." He hugged me tightly. "For following through after this accomplishment too."

"Thank you Dad," I whispered and hugged him back.

My heart flipped a happy beat because, fuck, after so many years where I felt like I'd disappointed Dad, this moment wasn't one of them. He threw me one more grin, a really cheesy two-thumbs up Dad gesture, then climbed into his car.

"Told you you'd be fine," I teased Eddie as we waved goodbye to Dad. A heavy feeling sunk into my stomach as he drove off with one last wave.

"I don't know." Eddie exhaled loudly and his shoulders visibly relaxed.

A smile curled up his lips, so I poked the dimple in his cheek with my finger. "What?"

His response was two strong arms snaked around my waist. "Don't know if we should celebrate at your place or mine."

"Since there's a fifty-fifty chance Li and Kieran are at mine, I vote yours." I smiled as he leaned down and pressed his lips gently against mine.

At six feet even, Eddie was only two inches taller than me but I owned just as many flats as heels. The scent of his cologne and deodorant wrapped around me with his arm as we walked to his car, personal car not his cruiser. I actually preferred when we didn't use his work SUV. Good times in the back seat aside, it converted every normally crazy driver ahead of us into a slowass, 'I think I can walk faster than this' driver.

My phone buzzed in my purse when I plopped down in the passenger's seat. I pulled it out and frowned down at my updates. The four missed calls from Ellie weren't what drew my attention, it was three words from Logan sent out in a mass text:

She said yes!!!!

Like she would've said anything else.

Wait... Ellie's engaged.

I was surprised that they'd gotten engaged so quickly, before the end of his last year at UW and when she went into grad school there.

Maybe they want to lock that down before NFL-level influences subject their relationship to more strain than it's worth.

Unlike Jake, Logan had more sense in his football-smashed head. He hadn't redshirted his freshman year, but transferred in AP credits and aimed for his bachelor's degree in four years. Generally, he and Ellie seemed like they planned their lives one stage at a time, but at least with the mutual understanding that they stayed together at each of those stages.

Makes sense I guess... for them.

Logan was so whipped over her after a first glance that he never stood a chance. And no one deserved a guy who felt like that more than Ellie. That said, she had all the nerve in the world to ask me what she did when she called me the fifth time halfway on the way to Eddie's apartment. Her personal request sent shivers down my spine and my shoulders shot up to my ears.

"No fucking way." I shook my head furiously and I knew she saw my reaction since we were on a video call. "Do you want my driver to get in an accident trying to resuscitate me because I've strangled myself with the seatbelt?"

Eddie chuckled quietly, probably because I'd gone from deliriously happy to freaking out within thirty seconds and just referred to him as my driver.

I think I'm entitled to overreact. Ellie's got some lady balls, asking this from me.

"Please Harper." Even miniaturized on my phone screen, those damn doe-shaped brown eyes of chocolate pleaded with me. "You're my best friend."

"Don't play that card with me, Ellie." I frowned at the tiny Ellie head on my phone screen. "No."

"Harper, you're my best friend." she repeated, her voice soaked with false desperation. "There's no one else I want as my maid of honor. We're not getting married until we're done with school but it's crazy how you have to schedule stuff like a year or two out."

"Fuck no." I looked away from her gaze as her lower lip started to protrude. "The only part of a wedding I want is the bachelorette party and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to do anything that I'd have in mind there."

Eddie's background chuckles weren't helping me here, so I shot him a side eyed glare.

"I don't care if you don't lift a finger," she insisted. "I just want you there with me. One or two years from now, please say yes."

"No stupid dress?" I raised an eyebrow, which prompted another laugh out of my peanut gallery driver. "And I can drink as much as I want?"

"You can be the wedding's sloppy drunk, if you want." Ellie laughed. "Besides, Logan's cousin is a wedding planner, so she wouldn't let you do anything anyways."

"No judgment on my date?" I raised my eyebrows at Eddie, who grinned and shook his head slightly.

"Yes." Ellie matched my eyebrow with a roll of her eyes. "I mean no, it's okay. Whatever you want as long as you are there."

"No judgment if I slam back an entire keg because, well, it's a wedding?" I repeated. She nodded silently, which elicited a giant huff of defeat from me. "Fine. But throw your bouquet at me and I'm burning it."

"Deal!" She squealed with happiness, wrapping her arms around her shoulders like she gave herself a hug. I smiled and exhaled sharply out my nose.

I'm such a sap. Just for her.

"Fine, fine." I mumbled as a reminder sobered my happiness for her. "I hate to ask the loaded question, but... Who's giving you away?"

Ellie's excited expression faded and I felt a twinge of guilt for the tears that welled up into the corner of her eyes at my words. Her father passed away from a heart attack last year. He would've been happy about their engagement, or at least I hoped he would've been, but I couldn't imagine how painful it would be for Ellie without him on her elbow on her way down the aisle.

"I mean -" I added quickly. "I can ask my dad, I'm sure he'd be happy to fill in."

"No." She shook her head and brushed at the tears with her fingertips. "Jake said he'd do it. You're still okay, right maid of honor?"

Fuck. Of course he should do it.

I froze at the mention of his name. Why he hadn't crossed my mind sooner, I wasn't sure but absolutely of course her brother would be present at Ellie's wedding.

And that's it. Bride's brother and maid of honor, fuck that's just walking into a cliché.

My thumb and index finger's tips dug into my tear ducts and rubbed the sides of my nose. "Fine, anything for you. Ellie."

Two weeks later, Eddie and I attended another ceremony. It wasn't for either of us and certainly not a wedding but a lot more significant: Wyatt's bell ceremony at LA Children's Hospital.

In a slow, painful process because Vanessa actually protested, Dad had arranged that every other Monday I visited Wyatt, with just me and only me in his room. I wasn't selfish enough that I requested I was the only one present for his ceremony or had him ring the bell separately for me on another occasion, but I leaned heavily on Eddie's broad chest from where we stood near the nurse's desk.

Front and center near the bell that hung from the ceiling at the beginning of the patient rooms' hallway, Vanessa and Rhett sandwiched a beaming Wyatt. I refused any eye contact with her and instead kept my eyes glued on my half-brother, who beamed and waved at me. His blonde hair was now an inch long but he still wore his hospital gown since he had to stay for two more weeks through a discharge process.

Technically, he was still considered in remission, with weekly monitoring for another nine months, but he was being released to go home. He still faced another ninety days of at-home quarantine before his immune system was restored but I had a feeling that kid -

Clang! Clang! Clang!

The bell he hit rang out loudly and vibrated off the walls around us. The sound broke out goosebumps on my skin and the claps and cheers that followed brought tears to my eyes. I leaned against the wall of warmth Eddie provided me from behind.

My lips curled up at the corners when I pulled out my phone and shot off a quick message.

me: Do it again.🔔

Wyatt's head tipped down, to his right pocket, and a loud laugh left me when he shielded his phone away from Vanessa's prying eyes. My shoulders twitched at her pout.

I shouldn't have laughed at that, even just internally.

On my second arranged visit to the hospital, I'd brought Wyatt a gift, his own cell phone. I'd added his phone to my plan and told him it was just between me and him, a way that he reached me directly, on our own terms. Middle-man Dad thought it was a great idea and Vanessa thought it was terrible, so of course I gave Wyatt his own cell phone.

We set up his password, I showed him how to text me whenever he wanted, and I set some parental locks because he jumped right into spamming me with memes. Wyatt's adoration for Jake was obvious by his also spammed, 'He's coming/he's here!'-type messages that flooded my inbox once every few weeks.

While I was tempted every time that I also visited Wyatt when Jake was here, because Wyatt insisted I 'met' Jake, I couldn't bring myself to see them together yet. But I had promised the kid that I was the only one on my end who ever got his messages. One his end, he told me Vanessa asked a few times what his password was and promised me that he refused to tell her his secret.

I'm a horrible influence.

He grinned at my message and his left hand reached up for the bell again. One last ring earned him another round of cheers, claps, and teary eyes. With one hand tightly clamped over my mouth, I nodded at Eddie.

I was never more thankful to his calming presence than I was the moment he nodded back and silently led me towards the elevators. Even at a distance from Vanessa, my breath was ragged and my heart beat wildly in my chest. His arm tightened around me as we stepped into the elevator, which opened with a soft chime.

"Hold it, Harper!" A familiar female voice called out.

My arm stuck out in the elevator door gap because I knew her voice as Jana, Wyatt's nurse. She was dressed in street clothes but the fact she came here was heartwarming. The smile that I offered her faded faster than it formed on my face when Jake stepped into the elevator... not just next to her or behind her, but side-by-side with her.

At no point in my limited number of visits had Jana mentioned she was close to Jake. Not that their relationship was any of my business but the idea tingled my skin. One look at the dark brown eyes that met mine and a tremble chilled my spine.

For the first time since I'd met Jake, I couldn't read the emotion in them. An edge of anger simmered over the warmth like a pot of molten dark chocolate. They darkened when he shifted them sideways and skimmed down Eddie's close proximity.

In what felt like an eternity between each throbbed beat of my heart, each one a painful strike into the guilt that unearthed itself from where it'd implanted itself the last time we'd spoken. Fertilized by the bullshit excuses I'd given him, reminders of my cruelty rose up like mental bile, thick and viscous like it slowed down my thoughts.

The left corner of Jake's mouth curled up, still not at me but Eddie. My lips rolled inward as I bit back a smile.

Cocky ass is probably thinking he's taller.

While Jake sized up Edde, I shamelessly inspected him. His dark hair was still long but trimmed evenly at the ends. His sharp jaw was less prominent from the clean shave he wore and my nose twitched at his faint fresh-scent aftershave.

Beneath his white, fitted dress shirt, his shoulders were only mildly tensed. Combined with his relaxed facial muscles, his stress from football-related pressure was absent. Even though the PAC-12 loss probably haunted him, an Alamo Bowl win was a respectable consolation prize.

With the lightness he carried in his posture, he looked... more boyishly cute.

Oh fuck.

By the time Jake's eyes met mine again, they flashed with recognition. He flashed a sheepish half-smile as the only admission that he'd been caught.

Only the sound of the closing doors and slight elevator hums snapped me out of my trance. Jake shuffled his feet so he stood next to me and his left hand's fingers rested on Jana's lower back.

"Thanks," I murmured quietly. Jake's head snapped in my direction, not for my word but the way the tips of my fingers gently brushed over his right forearm. At the flicker that sparkled in his eyes, I clarified, "For... what you did."

His thin lips parted and he gently wet them with a slight flick of his tongue. The movement bobbed his throat slightly and he nodded. Since he hadn't prompted me for further explanation, I assumed he knew I referred to the apology statement he'd issued.

The weight of Eddie's curious eyes burned into the right side of my head as mine shifted back forwards. They got as far as the elevator's opposite corner when the back of Jake's knuckles trailed softly down the inside of my left wrist. The contact shot tingles up my inner forearm.

"Thanks." His eyes filled with warmth. "For what you did."

My throat thick with emotion, I just nodded. While the awkwardness would've been best left at silence until we got off at the parking garage level, Eddie reached one muscular, black inked arm over my chest.

"I'm Eddie." He shook Jake's hand tightly, right over the painfully hard throbs in my heart space. "You must be Jake."

Eddie knew enough about Jake, as much as I told him in relation to my own personal failures. He assumed I was too hard on myself but I'm sure one conversation which Jake would've reversed even the sharpest cynic.

"Jake." His eyes dropped to mine but a quiet exhale behind him drew his attention over his shoulder. "And this is Jana... my girlfriend."

His admission, even in the hollow, empty voice that poured out of his mouth, hit me hard and I braced my hand on the elevator's railing behind me. My heart clenched painfully in my chest, like it curled inward and shriveled up.

For the last awkward moments, I slid my eyes closed and mentally chanted a mantra that felt as false as an advertisement for free air.

I have Eddie. I'm fine.

He's moved on and it's fine. Don't be a hypocrite, Harper. It's totally fine.

Fine.