"No, I'm not," I repeated myself for what felt like the tenth time.

Why can't anyone take the word no anymore?

N-O. Direct and to the point.

Thankfully for Ethan and Kieran's sakes, I hadn't seen either of those clowns since the post-game opener party where Ethan had the balls that he suggested I fucked with Jake's football season. Li saw enough of Kieran for the both of us in the two BioPhys classes they shared.

EJ however, had not-at-all casually mentioned 'the deal,' to me before class the following Thursday, which only earned him my best resting bitch face and middle finger rested against my temple at him for three straight hours. In case he hadn't taken me seriously, I informed him after class that my finger was bigger than what would be left of his dick if he ever brought up that subject to me again.

"Harper," Ellie's voice sounded as tired from this conversation as I felt. With one last effort, she asked, "Please?"

"No." My head shook back and forth even though she couldn't see me, so I added a "Fuck no. Why would I go?"

"Because he doesn't have anyone else," she turned on that sad, almost wistful, puppy dog-eyed tone of voice that made me even more grateful for the distance between us.

"And whose fault is that?" A small snort left me and I lifted my eyes to a pair of curious brown ones that studied me. "Besides, I'm busy."

"The game is at four-ten," Ellie countered, although unsuccessfully from my point of view. "And what plans do you have on a Saturday?"

"I..." My lower lip rolled inward for a moment and I took in a deep, honey and citrus-scented air around me because honestly, I had no plans outside any that involved me, the shower, and another round with HNV.

"Harper, I don't mean this how it sounds but..." Ellie paused for a moment, a telltale sign of an incoming dig, and dug deep she did, "Do you have any friends? Like just hangout type friends?"

The hand that wasn't clutched around my phone palmed my chest and I teased, "Cutting me deep here, Ellie. Li hasn't smothered me in my sleep yet and..."

My voice trailed off as I mentally scanned through any friendship possibilities, not that I'd wanted any. After I'd threatened his manhood, EJ maintained a good three seats between us during every class and we'd exchanged casual 'how's it going, you're not going to dismember me today? good'-type conversations, but that was the extent of our conversations.

Not that my life revolved around football but UCLA had an away game this weekend, although they were relatively close and played against Cal. With their 1pm game start time and a four-hour's distance drive back, the football team probably had another Saturday night party planned.

Since no part of me wanted a repeated request that I fucked over Ellie's brother's season because of a bunch of bruised meathead UCLA egos, I wouldn't have gone to their game even if they'd played at home.

And no part of me wants to see USC's game.

Li though... Don't get me started on her favorite player.

My roommate was actually quite a college football fan and, to my surprise, had added a UCLA Bruins team poster to her Jake shrine.

Pretty sure she's ignoring Meade though.

Damn perceptive Ellie read my mind and offered, "Why don't you take your roommate? I'm sure she'd love to go and meet Jake in person at the game."

"Ellie, I love you but..." My chest expanded with a slow breath in and I pushed out an over exaggerated exhale. "Aren't there like ninety thousand other fans you could ask? Because we both know I prefer Magnums over Trojans anyways."

"Harper," Ellie's impatience with my obvious sarcastic diversion reflected in the annoyance that seeped through in her voice. "You know the difference."

Ellie was not wrong. I was fully aware of the differences between Jake's legions of football fans and people who liked him for the asshole he really was underneath the helmet. With social media, thousands of people probably assumed that they knew Jake and while I sympathized with his situation, he'd chosen his own path when he put football first in his life.

She's forgetting the obvious fact I don't fall into the category of people who actually like him as a person.

Maybe as a warm dildo -

"Yeah, and there's no fucking reason why I'm the best candidate to fill in here," I snapped louder than I intended, which earned me a few raised eyebrows and soft gasps from the apparently audience I had within my vicinity.

At the blonde-haired girl that flopped down in the seat next to me, I realized the entire lobby had probably heard my side of the conversation. So, with a slight frown, I softened my voice but hardened my answer, "I'm sure he'll find another willing and able vagina to satisfy whatever needs he has."

"Harper! Why do you always go there? That's not what I'm asking," Ellie chirped out when I ended our call and slid my eyes closed for a few breaths.

A warm hand softly patted my shoulder and an eerily familiar female voice assured me, "Boy troubles? Me too, bestie."

Oh no. No no no.

Fuck me in my soon-to-be hairless asshole, this better not be who I think it is.

My eyes flipped open and roamed up from long, baby pink acrylic nails on my shoulder to bleached blonde extensions that tumbled down over a pair of large breasts, proudly displayed by a low-cut and tightly stretched white T-shirt. Eventually, my gaze landed on a pair of gray-blue eyes that batted at me in sympathy from under the thickest pair of fake, black lashes I'd ever seen.

Of all the places to see her... Fuck, not here.

Thankfully, Brittany ignored the ovary punch that I responded with in my mind, which was only mildly satisfying given the cloud of scented products that haloed this girl's body. While I now prayed that her name was called next by the reception desk, her pink, glossy-as-glass lips pulled into a bright smile that hadn't lifted a sadness out of her eyes that seemed just a little too intentional.

A slight whine slipped into her voice when she continued, "My boyfriend just broke up with me earlier this week."

A round of 'oh no's' and 'asshole' erupted from the other blonde-haired salon patrons around us, as if Brittany had elicited some chain reaction around the perimeter of lobby seats. The shared sympathy and eyes batted in our direction urged me to bury my head within the fake plant on the other side of my chair while I waited.

What the hell is happening here? This is why I don't have friends, Ellie, girls make no sense.

"He was so sweet about it too." Brittany rolled her eyes but spoke to the six other girls here like some open mic night confessional. "Made it all about me, said it was better for my situation because I'm going places. I totally bought into it until I got home later and my roommates talked sense into me. I'm so hurt."

While I wasn't at all surprised at the way Jake had broken up with Bambi, a chilling realization grew inside me.

What if he wasn't kidding about breaking up with her for me?

My heart thumped slightly faster but I didn't have much time to overthink that idea because a raspy gasp erupted from next to me. With thrust down shoulders that slightly jiggled her breasts, Brittany exhaled sharply then lifted her chin in a gesture like she rose above the ashes of a bad situation. Glossy tears beaded up into her eyes and she wiped them away with the edges of her long-nailed fingers.

Her overreactions ignited my internal bullshit meter but I held an impassive face and offered in a bland, borderline bored voice, "Sorry to hear that."

"Thanks, bestie," she rasped out, then blinked a few times at me. Slowly, her head tilted and she inspected me for familiarity. "Do I... know you?"

"Nope," I replied quickly and mentally thanked myself for how put together I looked today, even for this appointment.

After what felt like weeks, because it had been, I'd finally booked an appointment for a full Brazilian, underarm, and leg wax at Brazilian Honey Waxing. I thought I'd found the right salon for me when I saw their 'Adulting means growing hair in places you don't want to and losing hair from places you do' phrase on their website but now I internally punched my own ovaries for the choice near Beverly Hills.

With my makeup flawlessly applied over all the blemishes and freckles Brittany had seen when we first met, my tailored purple top and bra under a black leather jacket with ripped black jeans were for sure upgrades over my pajamas. Just the way I'd straightened my hair until it hung down my back, I probably looked like a different person.

Couldn't be more thankful for that. Of all the hair removal places near UCLA and possible appointment slots, fuck this is bad timing.

My self-pity was interrupted by a few rounds of assurances from the blonde brigade that now surrounded me, converged on Brittany, and girl-hugged her. Breasts clashed on breasts like a silicon water balloon fight, whispered survival words were assured in a feminist battle cry, and arms squeezed tightly in those weird 'girl' hugs.

"I'm so sorry, Brit."

"You deserve better, bestie."

I held back a snort when one girl snapped her fingers and pointed at Brit. "I always thought that Jake Harrison was a shady character."

"Thank you girls, gosh so sweet." Brittany's flirty pout raised my bullshit meter up another mark. "It's okay though."

While she tucked her chin practically into the cleavage she pushed upwards, paused, and took a dramatic eye sweep for an attention check, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pressed my thumb down.

I was glad she waited because, after a giggle more fake than her breasts, she added, "I'll get him back though."

That was unexpected. Huh.

"Really," I stated with lifted eyebrows at the possibility I'd underestimated Bambi.

"Oh yes," she gushed out and clasped her hands into her lap, which sandwiched her breasts forwards. "I was only dating him to break up with him halfway through the season anyways. It was working... until..."

Fuck, she did not just say -

Her eyes flicked up to me and her lips parted slightly. I literally saw her internal hamster wheel turn once as she finished, "...Do I know you? I swear I do."

"Nope." Before I'd gotten to my follow-up question, my thumb mashed onto my phone again and I stood up. "Just another blonde in California. Excuse me."

I took as quick and long steps my legs had in them up to the white marble-covered reception desk, where a beautiful girl with the brown eyes had studied me since I'd first walked through the front glass doors and signed in for my appointment.

"Hi..." My fingernails tapped onto the high, glass-top counter. Once the girl's head snapped up and her eyes met mine, I leaned in further and murmured, "If I'm not called back there next then I will personally rip out every set of fake hair extensions sitting out in the lobby... starting with yours."

After a few eye blinks, she grabbed her clipboard, "Name?"

"My appointment is with Claudia," I replied coolly since Brittany had already heard enough of my first name for my zero-tolerance comfort level.

With as many hair removals that I'd endured and, dare I say enjoyed, and since I was here for my underarms, lady bits and pieces, and legs, I'd booked my honey wax appointment with the manager/owner. Thankfully for my personal sanity and every hair extension in the lobby's sake, a short woman with black hair pulled up in a tight bun, tanned skin, and pink nursing scrubs walked up and stood next to the receptionist's chair. If her brown eyes, stern with authority, weren't enough of a hint, the 'Claudia' nametag near her left shoulder sure was.

"Miss Reyn-" she started and picked up a clipboard with my form clamped on it when I interrupted her.

"Yep."

After one flicked 'follow me' hand wave, my heels clicked behind Claudia's down a long, white-walled hallway. With a quick glance over her shoulder at me, she confirmed, "Neck down?"

An actual giggle, just a small one for the record, left my lips. "Neck down."

After I stripped down to my bra and socks and sprawled out on a doctor's office-type table in all my glory, Claudia thankfully worked over my more painful spots first and went right for the lady bits. While she basted me up like a Thanksgiving turkey then ripped off the honey wax one oddly satisfying yank at a time, I pulled out my phone and double-checked I'd caught the right audio.

Sure enough, I'd captured Brittany's slight confession on my phone. My head shook a few times while I pulled up my text messages, particularly at the last one Jake had left.

dickhead: she's not you.

me: Fuck you.

dickhead: That's the plan.

me: Obviously she's not me.
me: [ file attached ]

With a quick read receipt, my shoulders bounced lightly against the paper covered table as I bit back a laugh at 'dickhead is typing...'

Seeing that never gets old, even if Jake picked a real winner here.

dickhead: fuck
dickhead: I'll thank you in person Sat.

"Only he would word it like that," I murmured with a slight head shake. "You owe me for the heads up, asshole. Pay me back by leaving me the fuck alone."

At the harassment I'd just gotten from Jake's sister, I used the opportunity and teased him.

me: I've been thinking about your... invitation.

A slight tap on my inner thigh lifted my eyes off my screen to Claudia's smiling expression. With a slight rollup movement, I set down my phone, repositioned my legs, hugged my knees up to my chest, and Claudia got right up into my ass crack. My phone buzzed with another message, which I couldn't read until after my back door was ripped open.

Once Claudia finished and patted my right knee, I dropped my legs, picked up my phone, and groaned quietly when I saw Jake had dropped back into cheesy romcom mode.

dickhead: You're all I've thought about since Ellie told me you'd be here.

Again, if my life was a romance novel, a swoon might have left my mouth or a fluttering sensation passed over my stomach at Jake's words. But instead, they only flickered annoyance in me since I saw right through his bullshit.

"Boy trouble?" Claudia murmured quietly. Since I hadn't shown her my screen, I assumed my scrunched up face gave away how much I wanted this conversation ended sooner than later.

"Not for long." I positioned my arms overhead, elbows wide for what I thought was the worst part. My teeth gritted together as Claudia worked her magic over my arm pits. Under the warm sensations of the wax over my sensitive underarm skin, I curled my fingers around my phone and closed my eyes until my armpits tingled from the sting of hair removal.

While Claudia repositioned herself on my legs, I grabbed my phone and threw Jake a typical response.

me: fuck you

dickhead: Again, that's the plan.

A slight crinkle sound erupted from behind me as my head flopped backwards. I groaned quietly again but this time the corners of my mouth curved upwards.

Much better. Now that I can work with.

"Harper??" Li's eyes stared at me, she stopped fast in her tracks, and her tiny voice squeaked out, "Wuh-What... are you doing?"

"Recovering." I threw her a smirk, adjusted the bag of frozen peas that half peeked out the waistline of my extremely loose yoga pants, and clutched my elbows tightly against my sides so the frozen burritos I'd also picked up at a grocery store post-Brazilian stayed in place.

My legs were splayed wide open in a y-shape for maximum recovery after my lady bits were slightly warmed up. The skin from under my navel, to where my legs joined my pelvis, and back up my ass crack reached the point where it was uncomfortable, but not completely churned and burned.

No, those are my armpits. Ouch.

Li never blinked once as her eyes roamed over me curiously, "From... what?"

"Beauty pains." I winked at her and adjusted the paralegal writing book balanced on my stomach. "Happy to take you next time."

Her head shook faster than her reply came out. "I'm good."

"Are you sure?" My eyebrows wiggled a few times but I groaned when my leg shifted and a slightly heated friction rubbed over my crotch. "I'd suggest Kieran might like it but we both know you're going to friendzone him anyways."

"K-Kieran?" Her innocence was nearly Ellie-level while she shook her head, cursed softly in Mandarin, and pulled her books out of her bag. I wasn't sure entirely what the curse words specifically meant, but I'd heard her use them several times.

Nothing Google translate couldn't fix, if I cared to move right now.

Instead, I opted for the direct approach and studied Li for her reaction, "Did you text him?"

"No." She shook her head and stacked her books into a perfectly proportioned stack on her desk. "But I've seen him in class."

At the slight pink that lifted into her pale cheeks, I gestured my hand in a 'spill the tea' movement but that only earned me a slight head shake.

She's going to make this difficult.

I started with the obvious first step, "He's sitting next to you?"

Her short black hair flicked around the edges of her ears as she nodded, then she tucked them back. The pink in her cheeks completely gave away the fact she now thought about his close proximity.

Finally, she nodded. "And he... asked me to study with him again."

"Study with him, or study him?" I wiggled my eyebrows but her only response was her mouth dropped open and released a soft gasp.

Teasing Li is easier than shooting dicks in a barrel.

Her dark brown eyes dropped for a moment and one of her fingers traced the spine of one of her books, which one of these days I hoped I distinguished between the other ones within her pile. "Probably because I got a perfect score on the first quiz."

My head tipped back and a loud laugh erupted from me. "I highly doubt that's the only reason, Li. You've seen him naked, so at least you know what kind of equipment you're working with."

In Friendzone's defense, both he and Ethan's meatsticks were well-endowed, I just had no desire that I basted either of them.

Couldn't possibly be because I've been distracted by another dick all week.

Nope.

"Harper." Li's entire face turned pink and she cupped her cheeks with her palms. "I-I wasn't looking... down there."

Li had a point because the moment Kieran and Ethan's bathing suits pooled around their ankles, her head tipped back and she studied the ceiling harder than I'd ever seen her read one of her textbooks.

Because Li now looked like she wanted to melt into the floor, I dropped the teasing, "Do you like him, Li?"

Her eyes lifted to mine with giant question marks in them.

"I mean," I added with a shrug. "You definitely could do worse. We, okay I, saw how hung he was after you handed him and Ethan's asses over to them on your ping pong paddle. I can assure you that you probably won't be disappointed in that department."

"That was fun." Li opted to ignore my commentary, pulled one of her textbooks out of the pile, and spread it open. "The party and the game. Thank you for taking me."

"Football assholes aside, I actually agree with you." I smirked at her. "Seeing naked, muscular guys is always fun."

"No, Harper!" She palmed her forehead. "The ping pong game."

"It's only fun when you win and no one's roofied the beers." I frowned slightly. "But if you want to go again, I'm happy to be your wingwoman. Unless you want to be alone with Kieran and then seriously, you're on your own."

Li's eyes studied her textbook way too closely for me to believe she actually read it. Finally, a few silent moments later, she answered, "I don't... know."

"Well, he likes you." I fought the urge I rolled my eyes at how strong her sense of denial was.

She finally lifted her head and looked over at me. "Are you sure?"

For fuck's sake, do I need to shove her into Kieran? No, been there, done that with Ellie.

Took too many damn chapters to sort that story out.

"I think he does," I spoke slowly against the waves of sarcasm that crashed against my mouth filter. "Li, the boy sits next to you in class. He tried to impress you by speaking Mandarin. He likes you. He gave you his number."

"I haven't texted him." Li blinked blankly at me.

A low groan strangled itself in the back of my throat. "So... text him."

"What do I say?" She pressed her lips together but thankfully dug her phone out of her backpack.

"Here..." I stretched out one arm and flicked my fingers inward. At the wary look she sent my hand, I rolled my eyes and added, "I won't send anything without your approval."

After a few moments of obvious internal debate by the way Li's eyes darted from her phone screen to my still outstretched fingers, she handed me her phone. Since my entire pelvis was numb from the peas, I removed the bag from my pants, gently sat upright, and typed up what I thought was a very friendly, platonic-enough offer.

me: Hi, it's Li. Would you like to study together Saturday night?

"Saturday?" Up close, the confusion was clear in the rich brown tones of Li's eyes, brought out deeper against her pale skin. "But you invited me to the -"

"Saturday night," I clarified firmly. "I'll find somewhere to go after the USC game, if you're okay with that. But if he says yes, then unless you want him to see all of uhh, this -" I handed her phone back over and waved one hand at her Jake posters. "- then I suggest meeting somewhere neutral, like that Kerchuff coffee house you're obsessed with."

"Kerckhuff," she corrected me with a smile, which faded as soon as I lifted one index finger then dragged it downward in an exaggerated 'hit send' gesture.

Li quietly Mandarin-cursed again but hit send and set aside her phone. While she ignored me while she took the books out of her bag, she hadn't known how much of a favor I'd just done for her. If Kieran was really interested then he would've given up partying after Saturday's game to 'study.'

Or even better, he takes her out.

Since my own homework wasn't going to complete itself, I huffed quietly and went back to my writing book. My entire class aimed towards a final certification exam that required at least an eighty percent score to pass, but UCLA's program also required at least seventy percent on every homework assignment.

While I finished this week's task and filled out an example client timesheet, Li's phone chimed through the silence.

"Oh..." She gasped at her screen. "H-he said..."

I nearly threw my pencil at her. "Said what!?"

"Here." She handed me a slightly shaky phone.

Kieran: Sure. Can I take you out to dinner beforehand?
Kieran: Sorry but I'm usually starving after games. We should be back by 7pm if that's not too late for me to take you to Kerckhuff, your favorite.

My lips curled upwards as I answered for my roommate who definitely had no other plans that night.

me: yes

Kieran: great, we'll meet up after the game.
Kieran: See you tomorrow in Larsen's class. 😴

So ridiculously adorable, I now have cavities in my eyes.

"I'll help you get ready." I winked and handed Li her phone back. Instead of the shock I expected at how I'd responded for her, she just giggled softly.

"Dr. Larsen is a bit dry," she explained. "What about you on Saturday night?"

"Don't worry," I mumbled. "I won't be here."

At her curious gaze, I sighed and ran one hand through my hair. "Getting closure."