A sense of betrayal rose up inside of me, worse than any of my hangover symptoms and left a dry, sawdust-like taste on my tongue. The outside world shrunk around me as my eyes only saw Harper, happy, with another guy.

I should've been angry. I was a little, but the old version of me would've been entirely angry. The old me would've punched both my fists through the glass that separated us, then into that guy's face. But instead, my tongue dried inside my mouth, my chest felt crushed under an invisible implosion of pressure, and a weighted heaviness sagged my limbs until my left shoulder hit the brick front outside the building.

Tears blurred and clouded over my eyes, tickled as they dripped hot trails over my cheeks, and all my coherence was shot to shit. My entire body locked up and tightened. Painful contracts squeezed my chest muscles contracted painfully hard, my throat squeezed in on itself, and my lungs burned.

She replaced me.

Within two fucking weeks... or one night, who the fuck knows.

In the back of my mind, a tiny voice I'd ignored just knew that Harper ended our agreement at some point because that's all it was to her. But I wasn't prepared for a cruel slap in the face that she'd finally opened up to me emotionally, then replaced me.

Fuck, and I thought - I'm so stupid.

I was an absolute fucking fool in that I thought she'd wanted more, a deeper relationship, like I did. When I woke up with her in my bed, I caught the brightness in her sleepy eyes, rasp in her voice, and a beautiful smile. Her bare face was more beautiful than she realized, even with her blonde eyelashes and freckles she hated. The fact I'd seen it raw and pure meant more to me than any public displays of affection or emotional declarations of feelings and felt like the biggest idiot for convincing myself that had been enough for me.

Doesn't matter now.

It didn't matter that my heart kicked to the curb wasn't what I wanted. The gaping hole left in the center of my chest felt like an open and exposed wound.

My fists slammed into a rough, texture surface and I was only vaguely aware of the pain that burst open and radiated through my left hand's knuckles. A vacant look down showed blood pooled up and seeped out the skin, broken from the punch I'd thrown into the brick wall on the side of her dining hall.

A sob rose up my throat and choked off my words, my breath. I gasped and my lungs burned like I couldn't breathe because I fucking couldn't. The part of her that wedged itself inside me, twisted its way into my heart, had just been ripped out and tossed aside like it never mattered... like I'd never mattered.

A soft sound, muffled through the glass, drew my attention to Harper's head drawn back.

She's laughing. Smiling.

Fuck, she sat ten feet from me, happy with someone else and all I thought about was how fucking beautiful she looked. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, which showed off her face and long, slender neck. The cream-colored sweater she wore fit perfectly with her natural-look makeup.

I didn't know who the tool she sat across from, all I saw was the back of his head. With short brown hair and hints of black ink up the back of his neck, he didn't seem like her type but all that mattered was he wasn't me.

My chest heaved with the labored breath I dragged in and, by the time I exhaled, my breath turned into a sob. All ten fingers raked over my hair, clenched around my ears, even cupped the back of my neck as I closed my eyes.

Breathe, Jake.

With a sharp turn, I slammed right into another person on the sidewalk. Small hands reached out and fisted my T-shirt, but the brown eyes that flipped up at me took away my breath. They went from shocked wide in surprise to wider with recognition.

"Jake!?" Scarlett choked my name out in what sounded more like disbelief than any other emotion I deserved from her. "Oh shit, it really is you."

"Uhh, hey... Sorry for bumping into you." My hand trembled as I dragged it through my hair. I felt lame as soon as the question tumbled out of my mouth, "What are you doing here?"

Her eyes dropped down to where her hands still clenched onto me, the tops of her knuckles strained white where her hands still tightly clutched my shirt. With a slight gasp, she released me and a much-needed column of airspace filled between us.

"What am I doing here? I go here," she answered in a dry voice that contrasted the slight sparkle in her eyes. It dimmed within a blink. "What are you doing here?"

My eyes closed for a split second longer than a normal blink, away from the true reason that still burned a damn hole right in the center of my chest, and forced a tight smile down at Scarlett - Sarah. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." Her eyes darted sideways to the obvious cafeteria next to her, but my internal fuck-no panic button flared up. "This place has some weird-ass ice cream flavors, but -"

"Can I get you a coffee?" I turned away from Harper's dining hall, Harper herself, and that not-me fucker who enjoyed her company.

We walked silently, my hands rammed into my pockets like the movement slowed the stronger thumps of my heart in my chest. Sarah kept her chin tucked down and after a quick text message, probably the plans of hers I'd just changed, she turned off her phone.

A mound of guilt sat right over the painful beats in my chest, where they lingered until Sarah sat across from me at a wood table. The usual smells of a coffee house, warm and caffeinated, surrounded me but like the cup of coffee I had no intentions that I actually drank, I ignored them. My eyes roamed over her small frame, which was fuller than the last time I saw her. The circles that grayed the skin around her eyes were gone and her pale cheeks flushed with warmth.

"You look good," I choked on my own words. "Sca-Sarah."

"I am good," she hummed quietly but the slight shake in her torso drew my attention to the way her knee crazily bounced under the table. Her fingers stroked around her coffee cup, apparently with zero desire to drink it either, and the lightness in her brown eyes dissolved.

She gazed up at me with a slight upward curve in her neck, like she memorized my presence until it registered that I really was in front of her. "Sorry, I never thought I'd see you again," she whispered, downward more to the table between us than me.

"Sarah." I enclosed my hand over hers until her eyes lifted up and met mine. "I'm sorry. I treated you like absolute shit because I..."

My words died on my tongue because as much as I hoped I'd changed, a prime example of my unresolved selfishness sat right in front of me. I had no right to meet her eyes with the insults I'd tossed behind her back, to her own boyfriend at the time. We'd both betrayed him that night and even if she'd been the instigator, I happily obliged.

Tears glossed over her eyes. "You ghosted me, even when I went to apologize. I just wanted to own up to my mistake but you acted like I never existed. Why?"

Because I'm a selfish asshole who's shit to girls.

Unlike Drake's moving-or-staying decision, I was pretty sure the house voted 10-0 on that assessment.

"I wasn't ready to deal with the situation, so I just... didn't," I mumbled the lame excuse downward. "I'm sorry for that. You didn't deserve to be treated like that, no matter how I felt."

"I... that's all I've ever wanted to hear from you." Her voice shifted and a small whine slipped in, "I didn't do it for attention."

"Then why -" I started when I realized whatever the fuck her motivations had been, me knowing them now wouldn't have changed the situation for the better. "Don't answer that. You have your own reasons, I'm sorry."

Meade still would've hated me, just like her brother.

Sarah's thin eyebrows drew together. "Why are you talking to me about this now?"

I honestly only wanted to know her reasons if she felt compelled to tell me, or if admitting to whatever motivated her to try to sleep with me in the first place now helped her in some way. Since my reasons were purely selfish, my dicked wanted a warm, wet hole and she'd offered, I was positive that she didn't want the details spelled out.

Still, I wanted some level of self-improvement, so I coughed quietly. "You can tell me if you want, Sarah."

"Sorry, you were nothing but a score," she spat out bitterly, then pulled her eyes wide like she hadn't expected that was her answer. "My roommate freshman year, we all knew your... reputation. I hadn't planned that I would go through it, just..."

Her cheeks flooded pink and her voice dropped to a mumble, "...got caught up in the moment."

"You regretted it afterwards," I reminded her gently.

"Yeah." Her eyes narrowed because honestly, I hadn't and, by my indifferent actions, we both clearly knew that. The asshole part of me still had no regret of that night, only how I'd treated her like it hadn't happened.

Her hands clenched tighter in her lap and she rolled her lower lip under her teeth and held it there. Regret soaked into her eyes and voice, "I'm sorry for what I did to Kieran... and I'm not sorry about what happened to you because honestly, you probably just came off like a stud."

My head tipped back and a dry laugh escaped because, from her perspective, I sure as fuck deserved her non-apology. "I don't deserve any of your sympathy but I am sorry for how I treated you afterwards. You didn't deserve that."

"And you deserve my brother kicking your ass." She giggled softly, which relaxed her shoulders and the lines of tension creased around her eyes. A sparkle appeared and lightened the dull brown color. "My roommate Brit plotted your death creatively a few times stoo."

"I'm sure she - wait, Brit? Brit Manfield?" My jaw dropped open and I sat back against my seat.

"Yeah." Her brown bangs swept across her forehead as her head bobbed. "We might've used one of your posters as a Jake Harrison dart board."

While internally I masked what I hoped looked like a polite smile, internally my stomach clenched because Brittany's innocent 'Kieran and I were broken up' lines seemed a lot less coincidental and more intentional.

Guess my net of mistakes was cast wider than I thought.

My bullshit meter warned me that both Meade and I had been played, against each other. I pushed that aside because while Brit's cheating had tipped Kieran over the edge of ending our friendship, I knew my similar behavior had created the initial strain.

And if I fucked over her roommate, I get it.

Can't say I personally go for revenge but Harper always says girls are a whole other level of batshit -

"Oh my god!" Sarah rushed out in a hushed whisper. Her eyes looked over my shoulder and shot wide. With a bounce in her seat, her spine stiffened. With each bat of her lashes, her cheeks paled until she looked ghost-white.

Her voice strained to a nearly inaudible squeak. "Jake, you should go!"

"Huh?" My head turned around but all I saw were the bushes outside the window.

"Ethan," she rushed out with an edge of panic in her voice, which was also reflected also in how tightly she gripped the edge of the table. "Go!"

She's insane if she thinks I'm scared of that scrawny, smirking,... What the fuck!?

The coffee house's entrance door opened with a soft chime, and the tall, cocky quarterback that I'd just beaten in our last regular game of the season entered with long, heavy steps.

I wasn't surprised at Ethan's presence but nearly fell over at the beautiful, sky-blue eyed blonde I'd missed since I'd fucked up at the house party.

The obvious fact that I hadn't even apologized, for the misunderstanding with Emily in my room or that my leaked pictures were blamed on her melted in my brain under the heat that rose up at the sight of Harper near Ethan. Nothing in her narrowed eyes at the back of his head indicated she was surprised to see him, which sank an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.

Was she... Is she... Did she screw me over?

Ethan's pregame taunt resurfaced in my mind when he threw me a similar smirk.

You haven't seen shit yet... She's something, Jake. A real firecracker.

The possibly Harper betrayed me smashed into me harder than if I'd been punched. My heart clenched painfully tight in my constricted chest and I fought the urge that I palmed the area. Warmth flooded through my skin because, no matter how much I wanted to turn my feelings off, how much I shouldn't have felt them, they rose up on their own.

Fuck.

Harper redirected her own heated glare from the back of Ethan's head to directly at me. My heart thumped its own, sporatic beat the longer she silently glared. One flick of her eyes at Sarah told me all I needed to know.

She's jealous.

I squeezed my eyes closed, as if the action removed the fact I still thought she was beautiful, I still worried how she dealt with her mom's selfish visit, and still wondered how she held up with all the media bullshit. As much as I wanted to hate her, as flickers of my own jealousy lingered from how easily she'd replaced me, I couldn't turn off the fact I cared about her.

A loud sigh pushed itself out of my lungs, which burned from my frozen breath. "Burke." With a soft scrape, I pushed back my chair and stood up.

My feet felt like lead as I stepped closer to Harper and I studied her for a reaction. A softness filled into her eyes momentarily and my stupid heart flipped at the idea she was affected by seeing me again.

"The fuck are you doing here, Harrison!?" Ethan snapped loudly, then palmed his hands into my chest and shoved me back.

I stumbled back a step, then locked my legs and stared straight into his eyes. "I came for Harper but ran into Sarah. We were just talking."

"You don't get to talk to her, you selfish asshole!" He shoved me again, this time harder and into the entrance door, so I pushed it open and took his outburst outside.

Thankfully, he followed me with stomped steps. "You don't get to fucking breathe the same airspace as her, Harrison! After what you did -"

"Which was wrong," I grumbled but tightened my fists because the guy charged at me like an angry bull. His eyes were darker with a narrowed glare and a faint pink flush spread over his entire face. "But you shouldn't have gone so far for revenge."

While the details weren't entirely obvious to me yet, I knew from my interview that if the culprit was found, then I had the right to file revenge porn charges. Unfortunately, in California that was just a one thousand dollar fine and possible six-month jail sentence, pretty light punishment for a tainted reputation.

If it'd been Drake then I wouldn't go that far, but for Burke... It's tempting.

At USC, I hadn't punched anything except a boxing bag but the guy practically begged me for it. My left hand drew back when Harper stepped herself in between the two of us and I froze.

"Back the fuck down," she growled at me.

What the fuck is she doing!? Is she... protecting him?

Before I voiced those thoughts, she turned around in a blurred movement of blonde hair and the white leather coat she wore. My eyes tracked her movements and I saw the smack her right hand connected on his left cheek just before the crack hit my ears.

That's more like it.

Of all emotions I could've felt at that moment, pride surged up to the top of the heap. My lips twitched up at the corners, even when Harper flicked her fingers straight a few times afterwards.

"That's for fucking with my life!" she spat out. "You assholes really should come with a disclaimer."

"Bitch." Ethan rubbed the part of his red cheek that now swelled up, then tightened his fist and took one step closer.

I needed no further motivation to react.

With my own rushed step, I grunted quietly, squeezed my biceps, and flung my left fist forwards.

Crack!!

A burst of pain split out between where my first and middle knuckles struck into his jaw, so hard that his head snapped sideways.

"Don't fucking touch her," I warned him and pulled back my right hand, the stronger one that I hoped I didn't also need to also but would've if necessary.

"You're done." He spat out a few strings of blood from his lips and glared venomously up at me. "For the rest of this season, Harrison, you're fucking done."

"No." My lips curled up in a smirk. "You are. Enjoy the off-season, Burke."

He cursed and rubbed over his now swollen jaw, which nicely complimented the red cheek Harper had given him. Sarah rushed over with a gasp and shook her head at me, probably because I now grinned like a fool. My eyes shifted over to where Harper had stood but only empty space stood there instead.

My head swiveled around and I took in her retreating figure. Her hands were stuffed into her pockets, head bent down, and legs pumped as fast as they went.

Mine were longer and I used every inch to my advantage and closed the gap between us. Curse words erupted from her lips with each step. Once I was close enough, my closest hand enclosed around her wrist.

"Harper, hey I -" I started when she swung around and both her palms struck my chest.

A dull burst of pain erupted dead center in my heartspace, chased by a warm heat that throbbed like faint aftershocks in my skin. With a slight hunch, I leaned over, clenched my abs, and braced myself that she punched me.

"What the fuck!?" a low groan left my parted open lips and I rubbed the sore spot with my fingers. "Harper!"

By the time I stood up, her hands were fisted at her sides. Her chest and chin lifted high and a defiant look blazed in her eyes. Her lower lip trembled, just once, then her eyes glossed over as they flooded with tears. When she spoke, her voice was raspy and strained, but her eyes never left mine.

"I hate you, Jake Harrison."