Fourteen fucking eyes.

Jake Harrison's face, or faces since there were seven posters in total, stared at me no matter which angle from within my own dorm room. Their weighted gazes, even from replicas of the tool, unnerved me in the memories they evoked as I closed the dorm room behind me.

Only thing worse is if he was here in person.

Certainly smells better than if he was here.

I mentally thanked Li's army of pink candles lined up along the window ledge, along with the faint remnants of her dinner that wafted up from the trash can near her desk for the pleasant smell in our room. The longer I looked, the more I noticed how meticulously clean and organized her side of our shared space was, down to the last pens lined up in unison next to her ipad and the crisp folds on her bedsheets.

One of my palms grabbed the corner rail on my bed, lofted over a dresser, and gave it a strong shake test. The slight tremble of the entire structure creased a line of concern between my eyebrows.

Are these even sturdy enough to fuck on?

Nope, doesn't matter. Even so, let's stick to shower fun time on the ground, Harper.

Li herself wasn't here but the rush of water through pipes near the dorm room's entrance told me she was in the very same shower that I hoped, for her sake, she used shoes in because there was no way I traumatized us both by masturbating in bed.

Now though, I used the alone time and unpacked as quickly as I could. A sigh left me at the ridiculously large pile of clothes I'd tossed up onto my bed until I organized it into the small closet. For now, I made my bed, organized my gigantic makeup stash on my ridiculously small surface space around the stack of my newly purchased books on my desk, and crushed all the empty boxes flat.

I paused, slightly out of breath and sweaty, with a giant stack of cardboard between my arms when I locked eyes on Jake's posters by the entrance to our room.

Fuck, this is going to take some getting used to.

With a grunt, I dragged my cardboard down the hallway to our floor's recycling dropoff area. The only wall adornments I owned was the UCLA map Dad insisted I needed from the bookstore, so I tacked that on the wall next to my ridiculously hard wooden desk chair.

Seriously, the bed is made from matchsticks but the chair is petrified wood.

While I stood up and rubbed my ass, I look up and saw one of Li's poster Jakes smirked at me. If she'd gotten posters of Jake in his full USC uniform, like game action shots, then I could've imagined another face was behind number seven's helmet.

But nope, Li had seven versions of a helmetless Jake, whose dark brown eyes stared directly at me from within the confines of our tiny dorm room. I felt their weighted gaze on me while I wiped off my makeup, unpacked the rest of my non-clothing belongings, even when I grabbed my pajamas and changed for bed.

Fuck, this is creepy. At least she doesn't have one taped to the ceiling above her bed.

Jake and I had plenty of opportunities during our semester breaks to rekindle the tiny sparks I hated inside whenever I saw him again. While the temptation was definitely present, I never indulged and accepted the silent tension and focused my efforts elsewhere.

I knew Jake felt the same 'what if?' temptation because his eyes always gave him away. Whenever he saw a girl he was interested in, they turned feral. His dilated pupils always made his dark chocolate eyes look almost black. I'd needed several deep breaths while I pretended I hadn't seen those looks in my direction a few times but was experienced enough that I separated blind lust from actual interest.

And I'm sure the guy would hump a cow that mooed at him seductively.

With one minor slip-up last Christmas break, I never once capitalized on any post-high school opportunities with Jake because, well I still hated him. And, despite my roadside assistance from Officer Davis, my panties weren't dropped for just anyone.

Especially not before that asshole slapped me on the ass on my way out the door and snuffed me out like a burned out cigarette afterwards.

Besides, technically Jake violated rule number two, so that possibility was dead on arrival.

So why the fuck am I at a college ten minutes from his?

The snapped sound of the bathroom door opened, followed by soft clicks of Li's feet in - again, thankfully for her sake - flip flops cut through my thoughts.

"Wow, you move quick." Her eyes took in my unpacked side of the room.

Clean thoughts, Harper. She doesn't think like you do.

"Not gonna lie." I pointed at her dust and crumb-free zone. "I'm definitely the sloppy one."

"Don't worry, I'm not a germaphobe like Miranda was." She giggled and set a plastic basket of shampoo into her side of the closet, then removed her fuzzy pink robe and revealed a pair of flannel, pink Hello Kitty pajamas. I bit back a smile as she sat down at her desk and opened up one of her Biology textbooks like it was her before-bedtime reading material.

She's ridiculously adorable.

A buzzed sound on my desk drew both our attention. I checked my phone screen for an update from Dad, which I definitely had, but groaned at the multiple messages Jake had texted me.

Seven versions of the asshole on the walls aside, the fact Jake now blew up my phone was no help either in ignoring his existence. Apparently, the more I ignored him, the more irritatingly persistent he got, like my silence challenged him until the damn phone vibrated more than one of my actual vibrators.

dickhead: Hi firecracker.
dickhead: Next weekend, party at USC football house after our home opener, need your ass there.

dickhead: Also left you 2 tickets for the game, 3pm.
dickhead: Bring a friend, not a guy.

"Not a chance," I muttered to my phone and shut it off.

"Your boyfriend?" Li lifted her black-haired head from her thick textbook the more my phone buzzed.

I nearly scratched my eardrums out with my nails at the buzzz sound that vibrated my palm, then glanced at my screen.

dickhead: stop ignoring me.
dickhead: I know you're reading these.
dickhead: Don't make me go old school again.
dickhead: Roses are red...

"For fuck's sake!" I cursed and shut off my phone because I knew silence was one way that irked Jake.

"Not a boyfriend," Li answered quietly to herself.

I wasn't entirely sure why the image of angry Jake flashed into my mind while I chewed absently on my lower lip and studied those ridiculous posters. His poster's eyes taunted me just as much as the upward curl of the corners of his mouth. How the left side of his lips always lifted up slightly higher irritated me to the point my skin crawled the longer I stared at them, but what I hated more was how I knew there was more to Jake that the photographer had airbrushed out.

Jake had a small cleft in his chin, microtiny in size and only visible up close. The top of his right ear stuck out slightly more than the left, which he hated, his nostrils flared large when he was angry or aroused, the bow in his full lips was slightly asymmetrical, a tiny white scarred marred the skin under his left eye from when he'd fallen off his bike and smashed his face on a rock, and three dark freckles across his forehead right near his hairline were noticeably missing.

My pride held me back from admitting how much I knew about the rest of Jake's body, how he used it, and how I knew how to elicit reactions from it. Mentally though, Jake wasn't the thickest book on the shelf, definitely like a paperback with some worn edges, creased pages, and possibly even a few ripped out.

Li's still waiting for an answer.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," I finally grumbled quietly, got out my nighttime skincare routine supplies, and pinned the stray hairs at my forehead back with a hairband.

Her dark eyes studied me curiously through each step of my skin treatment. Since I preferred Los Angeles' smog stayed in the atmosphere and out of my pores, I applied my strongest cleanser toner and astringent over my face and neck and rubbed until the cotton balls were white. I blinked at how my skin tingled and swelled pink in my lighted mirror while I dabbed on my antioxidant serum and eye cream and Li's giggles hit my ears by the time I'd smeared my clay mask all over my face.

"Let me guess." I held back a smile as the mask hardened onto my skin and glanced up at her smooth, blemish-free complexion. "You don't do anything."

"Nope." She stood, picked up a few of my products, and studied them meticulously before she carefully placed them right where she'd picked them up from. "Do you sleep with that on your face?"

"Not clay." I shook my head then handed her a small jar of a light green option. "This one is for overnight though."

"Looks like guacamole." Her thin fingers twisted off the black cap, then lifted the jar up under her nose before she wrinkled it. "Smells like it too."

"It's avocado, so close." My cheeks pinched tightly while I spoke with the dried mask on and pointed at the retinol cream she held.

"Does it stain the sheets?" She twisted the lid back on and handed it back to me.

I shook my head and put back all of my tubes into the corner of my desk for tomorrow's turn. "Just wash it off with a cleanser and it's okay."

"You have..." Li's eyes roamed over all my makeup kits, which I fully admitted looked like a small aisle of options. "A lot."

"You can borrow anything," I offered with a casual shrug since I had so many colors, they dried out before I used all of them anyways.

Some of them are Ellie's colors anyways, since she's useless with this stuff.

"Thanks." Li nodded tightly, then sat back down at her desk. Instead of reading, she just looked at me with hesitation clearly written all over her face.

The longer her eyes studied mine, the softer my face relaxed, until I sheepishly admitted, "Sorry. I realize we know nothing about each other. Harper Reynolds, twenty-one almost twenty-two, from Santa Cruz, paralegal program, and only child to a workaholic dad."

Her almond-shaped eyes blinked at me for a moment, so I added, "And single with every intention that I stay like that, just down here for school."

Li still sat silently but her dark eyes sparkled like she absorbed the basic information. The silence notched up the awkwardness in the room the longer she mulled over her thoughts.

Fuck, so awkward. This reminds me why Ellie is my only friend.

Right when I wished a verbal retraction filter existed, Li's face cracked into a bright smile. She tucked a few black strands behind her ears and steadied her shoulders. "Li Wei, twenty-two, Bio-phys major for pre-med, from Santa Monica, only child to two dominant parents, not allowed to date."

While I highly doubted Li's intention was the direction my mind went on the word 'dominant,' one look at her innocent face, a bat of her short eyelashes popped one thought into my head.

She's fucking adorably innocent... like an Asian Ellie.

"Ahhh..." was all I responded to Li's most likely Tinder profile of information, if she had one. "So... Why isn't your other roommate here?"

"Ohh..." Her already pale, perfectly smooth, and enviably unblemished skin shifted a shade lighter. "Umm, she... umm..."

At her pause, I looked up and saw she gestured a curved motion with both her hands rounded over her abdomen.

"Knocked up!?" I squeaked out. Her cheeks flushed another shade paler but one head nod was the only affirmation I needed. "And she couldn't stay here?"

That's beyond fucked up if UCLA doesn't have resources for pregnant women.

"No, Miranda wanted to stay." Li's face fell and the corners of her mouth twitched downward. "She just... her parents took her home."

"Wow. Sorry I'm your sloppy seconds." I shifted my eyes off hers and unfortunately met the gaze of one of Jake's posters again.

I can't take this. I wonder if she'll let me color sunglasses over all their eyes with a Sharpie.

"It's okay," Li assured me with a polite smile. "She was nice, very clean, but we weren't close."

"Very clean," I repeated and looked at the absolutely trashed state of clothing piles on my bed. "I'll try to work on that."

"It's okay," she offered with a slight shoulder lift. "Messy doesn't bother me."

I heard Li's words but her pristine area spoke volumes, so I cleaned up. While I folded up all my clothes and doubled up them on hangers in the part of our tiny closet that Li had left empty, my eyes took a visual tour of her wardrobe. Sadly, mostly she owned jeans, black leggings, UCLA sweatshirts, and white converse tennis shoes.

Fuck, she is Asian Ellie.

I tipped my head backwards out of the closet and asked, "Hey Li, do you read romance novels and cook?"

"No, I only have time and brain space for school reading," she responded with an understandably confused look in her eyes. "And I eat in the dining halls."

"Were you serious about that campus tour? I mean, do you have time to join me tomorrow, going out for a walk?" I grabbed the rest of my clothes and stuffed them into the two open orangish-brown dresser drawers.

"Sure, I love to walk around," she offered, closed her book with a snap, and stood up. "Swimming too."

"Really?" I genuinely perked up when she nodded.

In addition to the beach, swimming was the closest I got to any type of physical activity. Throughout high school I was a certified lifeguard, although my attention span probably wasn't the best fit for that underpaid job. Swim laps were an incredibly relaxing workout and I'd definitely brought multiple bathing suits, along with my goggles and cap, with me.

"We can go tomorrow, there's open swim at the athletic center," she offered and walked towards the bathroom, but paused at the door.

"Great, thanks." I offered what I hoped was an appreciative enough smile.

While Li brushed her teeth in the bathroom, curiosity got the best of me and I peeped through a few of her nearby dresser drawers. While I fully expected that I found more pink underclothes, I was pleasantly surprised that Li preferred black lace thongs.

Interesting. Would've guessed cotton candy pink granny panties.

Maybe there's hope for her yet.

"Oh wow," I audibly gasped at the expansive outdoor pool at the Aquatics Center.

My eyes passed right by the rows of sunbathers off to the side on an angled hillside and took in the ten lap lanes, each divided by yellow and blue floaters, an equally large open swim area, and four-tiered diving platform.

Large evergreen trees surrounded the facility, covered with the common pink-peach brick most of the buildings here had, but accented with silver metal forms and overhead lights.

"It's pretty at night." Li cupped one hand over her forehead against the bright sunlight that reflected off the water, then she pointed to an open table. "There's a spot."

My feet and legs ached from Li's walking campus tour. She took me on what she called the 'UCLA Perimeter trail,' which ended up being a four-mile walk around the edge of campus. Most of the time we walked on cement sidewalks around the edge of campus but we had passed the entire neighborhoods that surrounded the school, which included some massive Beverly Hills mansions.

Along the way, Li pointed out landmarks like Royce Hall, some sculpture gardens, and Janss Stairs but I honestly half-listened because Dad had texted me that he'd gotten home, safely thankfully but at three am. I was also more interested in the questions we traded as we got to know each other better than Li's wikipedia-like campus information.

The more her soft voice spoke, the sweeter Li seemed. She had a lot of pressure on her shoulders from her parents, who owned their own plastic surgery practice. Her quiet, serious personality seemed a bit wound tight but I got the sense she had a bit of a fun, relaxed streak somewhere in that tiny body.

Not a party girl at all but that's definitely best for me.

We'd just dropped down our towels, slathered on sunscreen, and toed off our shoes when a deep, male voice boomed out.

"Harper!? Is that you?"

No, it's not.

I hunched over my bag while I slipped off my shirt and pants, ignored the calls, and hoped that at least one more Harper was in our vicinity but Li peeled off her shorts and stood upright.

"Umm, Harper? That boy is waving at you."

No, he's not.

I shaded my face from view with a one-handed shield at my eyebrows, tugged up my ponytail onto the crown of my head, and snapped on my bathing cap for some anonymity. The black, single-piece racer back bathing suit smoothed my boobs into place. I couldn't have looked less sexier, which was my exact plan not to draw attention to myself, although even Li's tiny, almost shapeless body looked hotter in her navy blue bikini.

"Fuck, it is you Harper!" he called again, which erupted Li into a round of soft giggles.

"Harper, I really think you should say hi." She pointed on our left then gasped quietly and her face paled. "Oh, he's coming over. I... need to use the bathroom, you say hi to your friend."

I side eyed Li since she'd just peed before we left but my stomach sank when I looked in the direction she pointed. My shoulders also slumped at the tall, blonde-haired, bronze-skinned guy dressed in just black board shorts and sandals that approached us. Below two flat pillows of pectoral muscles, the fully displayed six-pack on his muscular torso twisted and glistened under the sun. Two corded arms flapped up and down in the most obvious 'I know you' greeting, which drew just as much attention from the curious eyes around us as his attractive features. Dirty blonde hair curled up over the edges of his light blue backwards baseball cap and I definitely caught the green in his eyes even though he squinted.

My eyes slid closed for a moment and, once I opened them, I saw Li's mouth had dropped open. Like a ninja, her 5ft frame slipped right past the 6ft2 guy who still approached, then gave me two pointed fingers.

Fuck, so much for anonymity.

"Harper!" Kieran Meade gleefully shouted at me, even once he stood two feet from our table. His lips parted in a familiar, perfect smile, teeth still as white as a toothpaste commercial.

Warm, hard muscles and the scent of coconut sunscreen hit me as his arms wrapped me into a sloppy hug. The years and UCLA football had been good to Kieran and while my eyes appreciated any man's chiseled body like his, not an ounce of interest flickered inside me. Once I grunted quietly, he pulled back but clamped his large hands around my upper arms and stared at me with his own jaw dropped open.

"Hey friendzone," I greeted him weakly and forced a smile. With a fake surprised gasp, I asked, "You go here?"

"Yeah, final year but you? What are you doing here?" He finally released my arms and rested his hands on his hips. "Are you visiting or do you go here now?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked and pointed at the pool. "Don't you have practice?"

"Lighter workouts on Sundays, so I like to come here for laps," Kieran answered with a grin. "You want to go to the home opener game Saturday? I'll score you some good seats."

"Riiiiight," I replied slowly and hoped that the disinterest I pushed out was enough of a 'don't bother.'

"Fuck, I can't believe you're here!" His excitement fizzled into a slight frown, most likely at the only commonality between us other than Jake, and he cleared his throat. "Ellie, how... How is she? I saw her on the -"

"She's fine," I interrupted in a sharp tone because I definitely wanted to avoid a casual conversation about the public news drama part of Ellie's life.

While I defended Ellie to my last breath, UCLA's public swim pool definitely wasn't an appropriate place to discuss her unfortunate legal drama. For her sake, along with all the other victims of Ryder's assaults, I was glad when she stood up in a court of law and testified as a witness against him, even after Ryder's parents, his attorneys, conducted a national-level smear campaign against her character. Despite how Logan, Jake, and I had also testified and corroborated Ellie's case, unfortunately the judge threw out her testimony due to lack of evidence.

Thankfully, Ryder was found guilty in his actions against other girls and sentenced to sixty-six years as someone's shower prison bitch. In a moment of quiet redemption, we all submitted written testimonies against Ryder's parents, although their legal battle was still in flux.

Kind of lawyers that give good guys like Dad a bad name.

Relieved that Li hadn't overheard our conversation, I slipped on my goggles and snapped them onto my forehead. "Ellie's dealing with some tough shit, but she's tougher. And she's got Logan, so she'll be fine. Sorry to be rude but I've gotta get in some laps."

I meant every word, even though they stung as I admitted them. Ellie had Logan, he was her rock, her support, and frankly the love of her life.

Happy for her but fuck, separation and replacement still stings.

"Right..." Thankfully Kieran got the hint and just flashed another grin. "Listen, we gotta catch up. Can I have your number?"

"Sorry, I have a new one, don't have it memorized yet," I lied. "And my phone's back at the dorm, so -"

"Dorm? So you are here!" I mentally facepalmed myself for that slip-up. His grin widened when I nodded. "Listen we're also having a party this weekend, you have to come meet the guys on the team."

"No," I replied flatly. "I'm trying to behave, just here for school."

His square jaw lifted and blonde head tilted slightly, which cast a few sun highlights over his blonde hair. "Consider it at least?"

All I had was a slight head nod. "Sure. Good to see you, Kieran."

He gave me an awkward hand wave, which I just shook my head at.

Not a fucking chance.