"Miss Quinn, you are to remain in bed," Alfred ordered when Harley tried to get up.

"Are you making a pass at me?" Harley asked, trying to confuse the old butler and block his attempts to interfere with her plans.

"Hardly," Alfred denied while putting a hand on her shoulder to keep her in place. "Master Bruce wants you to stay here and recover, so that is what you're going to do, whether you like it not. If necessary, I'll have Arkhham Asylum send over a straightjacket."

"It might make me feel more at home," Harley joked.

"You could aggravate your injuries if you try to move around," Alfred warned. "Now, lie down and relax."

"I can lie down or I can relax, not both," Harley denied. "Bruce is out there fighting the Joker. I need to know what's going on."

"Master Bruce has defeated the clown before," Alfred reminded.

"Yeah," Harley agreed, hesitation coloring her voice. "But, he's never gone up against the Joker with his thoughts distracted by me and what the Joker did. Who is to say what Bruce will do when he catches up with Mr. J? I need to know what's happening."

She was very insistent, but Alfred remained resolute.

"I don't think you should leave your bed," he told her.

Harley flopped back against the pillow in frustration, instantly regretting the movement as it reawakened the headache she'd almost forgotten. She winced at the ripples of pain as they bounced off the insides of her skull.

A metal clank sounded behind her, and she turned around to see Alfred unlocking the brakes for the wheels on her medical bed.

"Just because you have to stay in bed doesn't mean the bed has to stay here," Alfred told her. "Lie still and try to conserve your strength. I'll move you to the Batcomputer where you can observe everything."

"Alfred, you're the best!" Harley cheered.

***

"Where is everybody?" Harley asked. The multiple views on the Batcomputer's primary screen showed the available data streaming from Wayne Enterprises' security feeds, but she couldn't see anyone in the building. The halls and offices were empty.

"Knowing Joker was targeting Bruce Wayne, Bruce called ahead from the car," Alfred explained as he fluffed Harley's pillow and reset the brakes on her hospital bed. "The entire building has been evacuated for what everyone thinks is an unscheduled security drill. The police are also on their way."

Harley watched the screens, looking for any signs of movement. With everyone gone, the only two people who should be moving around in there were Joker and Batman. The first thing to catch her attention was an explosion of glass as Joker drove a purple and green van through the front doors and into the lobby.

Joker jumped out of the driver's seat, spraying the surrounding area with a machine gun before he realized he was alone. He looked all around, even behind the main information desk. Joker slammed the stock of his gun against the counter of the desk in frustration before heading toward the elevators.

Harley temporarily lost track of Joker as he stepped into one of the elevators, but Alfred pointed to a secondary screen where a wireframe schematic of the building highlighted a small box in red as it rose higher.

"Batman," Alfred said into the microphone mounted to the control panel. "Joker has arrived at Wayne Enterprises and is in an elevator going up."

"Got it," Bruce replied.

"How come you call him Batman?" Harley asked after Alfred switched off the mic.

"Our communication lines are encrypted, but why take the chance?" Alfred questioned in return. "Look how much you found out with just a pair of names."

Harley laughed innocently and quickly turned her attention back to the camera feeds.

The Joker emerged from the elevator and discharged his machine gun into the pictures of the board members lining the walls as he walked toward Bruce's office.

"He's on the executive level," Alfred reported to Bruce. "He'll be in the primary office in a few seconds."

"Understood," Bruce responded. "I'm approaching the building now."

"If you use the elevator, he'll know you're coming," Alfred warned.

"I thought I'd use a different entrance," Bruce stated casually.

Harley wanted to ask what he meant by that, but she kept quiet so he wouldn't know Alfred had moved her in range to watch.

Joker shoved open both doors leading into Bruce's office. Walking right in, he plopped down in the padded chair behind the desk, spinning around and laughing uncontrollably.

After a few minutes, Joker seemed to get bored with no one around to be the target of his jokes. Getting up, Joker kicked over the chair for no apparent reason and strolled toward the exit.

The glass behind the desk and overturned chair shattered in an explosion of glittering fragments as Batman dived through the window from the roof of the building across the street.

"Nice entrance," Joker sneered. "Either you've got a serious problem with doors, or you just like pulling glass out of your shorts."

The security cameras lacked any kind of audio capability, but the gear in Batman's suit picked up sound well enough for Harley and Alfred to hear what was going on in the office.

"The building's been evacuated," Batman growled. "It's just you and me."

"How romantic," Joker said and hugged his machine gun. "I can't believe you went to all that trouble just to be alone with me. Bats, you really do care."

"I just didn't want witnesses for what I'm going to do to you," Batman snarled. He stalked menacingly toward the Joker.

"Batman's come to get me. Whatever can I say?" Joker said in mock terror. He pointed his machine gun toward Batman. "How about, 'oh, shoot'?"

Joker began firing and laughing with wild abandon, forcing Batman to dive behind the desk for cover.

"You've got a whole city to protect, but I've only got one billionaire to kill," Joker laughed between machine gun bursts. "Sooner or later, I'll get him, and there won't be a single thing you can do about it."

Joker headed for the door, trying to make his escape, but Batman reached under the desk and pressed a concealed switch to lock the doors electronically with an audible click.

"How did you know that thing was there?" Joker demanded, firing another burst of ammunition toward Batman. "I know you're the world's greatest detective, but come on! No one can know everything."

The Joker suddenly stopped shooting, a surprised look on his twisted features.

"Gasp, can it be?" Joker questioned. "Can the man behind the cape and cowl be the billionaire behind the desk? Bruce Wayne is Batman! How wonderfully duplicitous. I'd call you two-face, but Harvey already took that one, didn't he?"

Joker sprayed the door latch with the acid flower on his lapel but kept his gun trained on the desk where Batman was still protected.

"I thought I wanted to kill Bruce Wayne, but I think it will be much more fun to tell the world your secret," Joker mused. "I'll get myself a bucket of popcorn and watch your demise on TV. This will be the best joke of them all!"

Joker kicked the door, and the acid melted lock fell off, allowing him to exit the office and sprint toward the elevator. Batman vaulted over his bullet-ridden desk and followed in close pursuit.