I stumbled further back, away from that door, away from the people inside that room. Pregnant? What the hell...? For the very first time in a long time I felt alone. There was no one I could talk to, no Joker, no parents, no one. Everyone thought I was dead or missing. I would have to figure this out by myself. 

The back of my foot connected with back of the couch, sending me sprawling backwards onto the cushions. My other foot flung up and smashed into the vase sitting on the coffee table. "Shit!" I swore under my breath but the damage was already done. I had made an absurd amount of noise for someone who was aiming to go undetected.

The door flung open, and I pulled myself up quickly. Frost came running out, stopping when he saw me, bloody foot and all. 

"Shit, Harley." Silence. "What...what are you doing." He was staring at me, hoping I hadn't heard anything. 

I closed my eyes and breathed deep. No. Don't start crying. There were so many...too many emotions.

Weren't you supposed to be happy when you found out you were pregnant? You were supposed to get your little pregnancy test and then dance around the bathroom holding it in one hand with the biggest smile across your face if it was positive. You were supposed to run out of the room and hug your husband with all your might and say "We're having a baby!". You were supposed to go out and celebrate and tell your friends and tell your family and tell everyone that was willing to listen. That was what was supposed to happen. Not this. Not knowing for 4 months and then finding the person you love the most to talking to another man about abortion?

I was crying now. Sobbing like there was no end. I didn't even know what I was crying for. Maybe the fact that I would never have that little pregnancy test in my hand while I danced around the bathroom. That I would never do anything like that. Maybe for the fact that I still loved the Joker despite everything. 

Frost was coming closer, reaching out a hand to place on my shoulder. I slapped it away, then pushed him away. "You son of a bitch!" He deflated, closing his eyes and placing his head in his hands. He took them away, and it took all the energy in my body not to hit him right there. 

"It's not what you think-"

"Oh bull-shit!" Somehow there was anger in me but I felt...numb. Less than numb I felt like I had been drained of all energy. 

"How much did you hear?"

"Almost everything. I know that...I know everything. So just shut up and let me think."

Breath in, hold, breath out. Breath in, hold, breath out.

"Harley." It was the Joker, his voice dripping with sweetness. But this time it didn't have any effect on me. I dragged my eyes up from the floor to look at him. For once he looked dishevelled, his green hair sent in all directions. His face was white, but more of a tinted white, like he was sick. He was wearing a white shirt, unbuttoned at the top as usual, but I barely even registered it. I barely even registered anything. I was looking at those tortured blue eyes, now begging me to say anything.

"What? What do you want me to say, J? I don't understand anything right except that I'm pregnant." He flinched, as if it hurt him for me to say that.

"I'll tell you everything, just sit down and we'll talk-"

"No. You tell me. Just tell me right now what the hell is going on." I could see his face twitching, unsure what to do. Finally he let out a sigh. 

"Ok. You're 4 months in." 

"Shit!" I ran my hands through my hair, gripping my head to keep me from running away from that piece of information. I remembered what Frost had said, to abort it. I also remembered that if you aborted it after 2 months, then the baby would be already fully developed and you would end up giving birth to it, dead. I groaned and shut my eyes, tight. Son of a bitch. It was my body, I could decide.

"Then I'm having it. Frost, I want to strangle you right now, I want to get my fucking bat and beat you to death in this living room. No one here has authority over my body. No one." Frost shrank back against the wall and looked at the ground. "How long have you known for?" My voice was quieter now that I knew at least the basics.

"Since...before we went to Venice I found out. We-"

"Jesus Christ! Shut up. Just shut up." He knew before Venice? Then... "Is that why you drugged me up? Sent me to a hospital?" 

"Having a kid...wasn't what.." Wasn't good for your career? And that was it. I utterly and completely snapped. I moved across the room with more speed than I thought was possible, and lunged at the Joker, wrapping my hands tight around his neck. He fell backwards into the room they had been talking in, his face turning red slowly. He didn't fight. He barely even moved. He just watched me, his arms lying on either side of him. It was pointless. I felt two hands grab me under my arms, lifting me off of him. I struggled and turned and punched Frost across the face with all the strength I had. He staggered backwards, swearing.

"Get up. Get up, J. So a kid wasn't good for your career, huh? Your own child wasn't good enough for you?" The Joker stood, looking at me wearily.

"No. It wasn't good enough for Frost. I wanted him, or her or whatever it is. I wanted the kid, Harley."