☆

"JESUS CHRIST, THIS BOX is heavy," Amara complained, lugging the cardboard with a groan until she dropped it on the floor. "Are you sure it's in one of these?"

"It's in here somewhere," Fiona replied, shaking her head and sorting through the box Amara had just pulled from the attic.

"I didn't think your wedding was gonna become an annual tradition like Thanksgiving," Veronica remarked, shuffling through her own box, and Amara covered her mouth to hide a snort.

"I asked Lip and Ian to walk me down the aisle," Fiona said excitedly, straightening up, and looking at the both of them. "Mara, I want you to be one of my bridesmaids."

Amara's jaw dropped as her face broke out into a smile. "Oh my God. Yes!"

"The ink's barely dry on your divorce," Veronica went on.

Fiona made a face. "Why are you giving me a hard time?"

Veronica sighed and glanced to Amara who raised a brow. "I love you, but if you're gonna change your mind, do it before I shell out the money for your bachelorette party tonight."

"I'm not changing my mind," Fiona defended. "And it wasn't my idea to have it this early."

"Look, I am not showing up to your wedding all bloated and looking like shit. I need time to recuperate."

"And I can't be that lame bridesmaid who doesn't have a date," Amara interjected, flinging out one of Ian's old hoodies, but coming up empty handed, still no dress. "I need time."

Fiona scoffed. "Weeks?"

Amara made a look of offense. "Hey!"

The other brunette gasped suddenly, reaching down to pull something out. "I found it."

Amara's eyes widened as her and Veronica examined the gown. It was a gorgeous shade of white, lacy and silky, and she was completely shocked, if she were being honest. "Where did Monica get the bread for a wedding dress?"

Fiona smiled to herself and unfolded it. "This was back when her parents had a little money. And they approved of the first wedding."

"The first?" Amara and Veronica echoed in unison.

Fiona glanced up to them with an amused glint in her eyes. "She married Frank twice. First time only lasted a week. She locked him in the trunk of the car, left him in the K-Mart parking lot for days."

Veronica snorted as they began to pack up the boxes, but paused randomly and turned to Amara. "About your date situation, why don't you just ask Lip to be yours?"

Amara had to physically stop herself from laughing out loud.

☆

"No offense, but I thought you were a hand whore," Fiona admitted, standing on a chair in the middle of Kev and V's living room as Svetlana took measurements of her dress.

Amara flipped the page of the bridal magazine she was reading, and turned to show Veronica, who was sat next to her on the couch. "Oh, I use my hands for many things," Svetlana said.

"I just thought she could save you some dough," Veronica cut in.

"Hey, Fi, what do you think about lilac and hunter green for your color scheme?"

Veronica smacked her hand with the booklet. "You said the same thing for my wedding."

Amara rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and you didn't listen. It's a great color combination!"

Fiona glanced over her shoulder. "Tell you what, if you find matching lilac dresses for you and Silvia to wear as bridesmaids, I'll consider it done."

Amara grinned to herself and sent a text to her sister, telling her to keep an eye out, while Veronica shifted on the couch. "Ooh, look! You can walk down an aisle of rose pedals for less than a grand. I think the Four Seasons Maui is right up your alley."

"We haven't decided where we're going to tie the knot," Fiona said, nodding to herself. "I wanna do it right this time."

"You dont need a marriage license for that. You just need a good man."

"My marriage was too violent," Svet broke in. "Low IQ homosexual, I don't care. Marriage is government document only. Green card."

"I don't want my wedding to be like the last time," Fiona confessed. "In and out of a courthouse, then a shift at the diner, back to Gus's eating leftovers. We acted like our wedding was no big deal. Maybe that's why the marriage didn't work out."

"The marriage didn't work out 'cause you had the hots for Sean."

"And Jimmy," Amara added, shaking her head. "You know, I'm actually so upset I missed seeing that asshat. I would've loved to punch him in the face or something after just leaving you stranded like that."

Fiona huffed. "Weddings should be special. With friends and family there."

"Debbie?" V asked.

"Yeah, of course," Fiona shrugged. "I'm still hoping she'll give the baby up."

"I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she's pregnant," Amara muttered.

"Oh, you want to get rid of the baby?" Svetlana wondered. "Give it to me. I get top dollar for white baby with no defects."

Amara shared a look with Veronica, and pursed her lips not to laugh. Maybe she liked the new addition to their group, after all.

☆

Veronica led Fiona into the strip club with her hands covering her eyes, while Amara fidgeted with her purse anxiously. "I'm surprised they didn't card you," Melinda, one of Fiona's co-workers, told her as they stepped further into the club.

Fiona groaned loudly once she realize where she was, and Veronica cackled. "You said you wanted traditional!"

She shook her head. "I don't want a hairy ass in my face."

Melinda snorted. "Speak for yourself."

"That guy's got bacne," Fiona announced as they found their way towards their respective table. "Not exactly Magic Mike."

"Oh, the one with the golden railroad?" Amara quipped, and Fiona shoved her with a laugh.

"I'm not picky," Melinda insisted.

"This is what I planned, so this is what we're doing. It's gonna be epic," Veronica said. "Shots, Pueblo Viejo."

"Hey," Svetlana called, handing the bartender a twenty. "Give this to owner."

Fiona cocked her head quizzically. "What's that for?"

Svetlana smirked. "For special price, owner lets us do special show."

"What's the special show?"

"Oh, you'll see," Veronica grinned as the bartender came back with their drinks. Amara snorted once she realized the cups were in the shapes of penises. "Bottoms up, ladies!"

"We have a bachelorette in the house tonight," the announcer said, his voice echoing around the room. "Our first dance is for the future Mrs. Fiona Pierce. Ladies, make some noise!"

Amara's cheering turned into laughter as Kermit and Tommy walked out wearing thongs, Kevin and Billy following after them. They continued to do a series of unsynchronized dancing that left her and the other girls in tears, until Kermit ripped off his only form of clothing, letting his junk fall out. Amara choked on her drink.

"Take the money, bitch!" Veronica shouted as Kevin sat down at their table. Amara grinned and dished out a couple of ones, and he shook his head. "You got some moves, baby. You deserve this."

Kev downed one of the remaining drinks. "Thank you, I've never dranken from a penis before."

"Lana and I have news," Veronica announced once the laughing had dialed down.

"Fatima," Kev corrected, pulling out a card from his pocket. "That's her new name. She's Egyptian now."

Svetlana looked disgusted. "How much you pay for this piece of shit?"

"Why, what's wrong with it?"

"It's got ten numbers," Fiona answered, taking the item back from Amara. "Social security numbers have nine."

"Fuck me! Guy scammed me, all right, give me some time and I'll get a better one."

"Already fixed," Svet said.

"What do you mean?"

"We took care of it," Veronica shrugged. "Courthouse this afternoon. In and out and hitched."

Amara's eyes widened as the others shared looks. "What?!"

"You got married?"

"And you didn't even let me bring lilac and hunter green lanterns and flowers," Amara shook her head.

Svetlana snorted. "Like fast food drive through McLesbian wedding."

Fiona raised her brows. "You didn't say anything."

"Not a big deal," Veronica protested. "Who cares?"

"That's not the point, you went behind my back," Kevin pressed on, and Amara was only slightly surprised to see genuine anger in his eyes.

They fell silent at that, and Amara pursed her lips. "Awkwarddddd."

☆