(quick side note: does anyone still want me to put warnings at the top of chapters when there's a trigger scene and also use the "~~~" for when it starts and ends? let me know because i might just stop using the warnings because after all this is an "adult-themed" book, but if anyone truly does want the warnings then please let me know and i will most definitely oblige :)

present

OLIVER.

I awoke the next morning to the sound of my alarm clock blaring in my ear while my phone was also ringing. My eyes lazily opened as I groaned in disapproval; the time read 10:30 a.m.

"Fuck off," I groaned as I slammed my hand on the alarm clock for it to shut off while also referring to my phone. I picked up my phone after my alarm had stopped blaring and noticed that it was Annie, or technically Austin, calling me. I practically moaned as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before holding up the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Oliver, my man," Austin exclaimed cheerily into the phone, causing me to plant my face in my pillow while still holding the phone up to my ear.

"Hi, Austin," I groaned into the pillow.

Austin chuckled in response. "I'm sorry to wake you but I was just so excited that all of this is working out perfectly," he exclaimed while I rolled over to where the side of my face was only in the pillow. "I saw that video, Oliver," he began. "I'm guessing you chose Alice?"

I sighed while closing my eyes. "Austin," I murmured. "I don't know if I can do this anymore." Austin was silent for a few moments which caused me to become slightly worried. "Austin?" I squeaked into the phone through my morning voice.

"What do you mean?" Austin screamed, causing me to yank the phone away from my ear as I groaned in pain. "What do you mean that you can't do this shit anymore?"

I sighed as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "You told me that this was just a revenge plan," I mumbled. "You told me that it was revenge on either Alice or Billy because Alice cheated on you," I said.

Austin screamed back, "It is, Blackheart! The plan never fucking changed!"

My eyes rolled temporarily into the back of my head as my lips parted. "You never told me that you fucking abused her," I mumbled as I closed my eyes while burying the side of my face farther into the pillow. "You never told me that you raped her, Austin."

Austin huffed loudly on the other end of the line in response. "Really, Blackheart?" He asked as I yawned. "Really?"

"Yes," I murmured lazily. "Really, Austin. I thought I just had to ruin a few guilty people's lives, not take down people who aren't at fault here."

"Oh my God," Austin yelled into the phone. "You're really backing out because Alice and Billy aren't supposedly at fault? You're really backing out because I raped her, Oliver?"

I groaned into the pillow as I nodded my head. I realized that he couldn't see me after a few moments of silence, so I murmured, "You got it."

Austin groaned rather loudly in response and I could practically see him rolling his eyes. "Blackheart," he said threateningly. "Do I need to fucking remind you of that little incident last year?" He growled, causing my eyes to snap open. "And you're telling me off for raping some bitch."

"Austin," I sighed into the phone. "You don't even have a plausible threat here," I murmured. "The footage was deleted; you have nothing on me."

"Oh," Austin exclaimed while chuckling. "Really?"

I raised an eyebrow and slowly sat up to where I was facing my tv. "Austin," I murmured threateningly. "You told me everything from that night was gone."

Austin chuckled in response. "Whoops," he giggled. "You know how I can't trust anyone, Blackheart, especially with moments like these where you're trying to pull out," Austin began. "I always have a little insurance policy to guarantee that I get what I need," he cooed.

"Who the fuck has it?" I growled back. "Who the actual fuck has it, Austin?"

Austin giggled in response. "I know," he giggled. "But I'm not gonna tell you, obviously. That would be stupid of me to do."

I leaned forward as I gripped my hair in my hand. "Just please," I whispered while closing my eyes. "Just please don't do anything with that video."

Austin exclaimed immediately, "Then it looks like your sorry ass is gonna be reporting back to me while shoving your cock down my wife's throat!" He took a short pause before adding on, "Hell, you can even shove it down Billy's throat too. I'll let you have a little fun."

I gulped as I inhaled a shaky breath. "Austin," I whispered. "Just please let me go. I can't do this shit anymore."

"Ok," Austin sang into the phone. "The whole world's gonna despise you then." He took a short pause before murmuring darkly, "The whole world already knows that I'm a monster. Just wait until everyone finds out that their favorite bisexual playboy is the devil reincarnate."

I bit my lip as I gripped my hair even tighter to keep from sobbing. "Who the fuck has it, Austin?"

Austin chuckled before murmuring, "Hell, I guess I'll tell you because there's nothing you could really do to him anyway." He cleared his throat before continuing. "It's Zayn, you cockminded dipshit. Of course it's fucking Zayn!"

I smirked while chuckling. "You're forgetting something, Austin," I murmured.

Austin sighed dramatically in response. "What could I possibly be forgetting, Oliver?"

I chuckled lowly before murmuring, "Zayn isn't your bitch anymore, Pal. All of your money came through Alice, and now you're in fucking jail, Austin." I chuckled before continuing. "Unlike you, I actually have money to spend, you lowlife fuck."

I could practically see Austin rolling his eyes. "Do you really think that Zayn's gonna betray me like that for an extra few million?"

"Money's money, Austin," I murmured. "Let's see how much he just adores you when I triple whatever offer you're giving him."

"Jesus Christ," Austin yelled back. "All of this just to get your fucking rape video deleted?"

I chuckled as I shook my head. "Goodbye, Austin," I cooed as I pulled the phone away from my ear.

"You slimy, rat fuck," Austin exclaimed before I pressed the button that hung up the call.

"Whoops," I murmured as I continued to stare at my phone. Annie's name kept popping up on my screen as Austin persistently tried to get ahold of me, but I just watched as my newfound freedom had been claimed. Well, not entirely claimed. Not yet.

I hit the decline button every time Annie's name came up on my phone as I scrolled through my contacts. Finally I found Zayn's information after about the hundredth time I rejected Austin's phone calls. I pressed Zayn's contact and the line rang for a few moments as I waited for him to answer.

"Um, hello?" Zayn asked into the phone. "Why are you calling me, Oliver? Can you not get ahold of Austin?"

"Zayn," I interrupted. "Do you have that video of me from last year or not? Whatever Austin's paying you in general, I'll triple it just for you to delete every copy you have of that fucking thing."

Zayn stayed silent for a few moments before responding. "When's a good time for me to come to Atlanta?" He sighed.

"Tonight," I snapped. "I'll be talking about court shit with my dad during the day so it'll have to be tonight."

"Ok," Zayn sighed before inhaling a deep breath. "Are you paying for my airfare and everything?"

I rolled my eyes as I groaned silently. "Yes, Zayn," I murmured. "I'll pay for your fucking airfare."

"And a rental car?" He asked.

I clutched my phone harder in my hand as I screwed my eyes shut. "I will get you a fucking rental car," I responded.

"Great," Zayn said cheerily. "I'll bring everything I need and then delete the shit right before your very eyes," he exclaimed. "You do your part, and I'll do mine."

I rolled my eyes in response. "I'll text you your flight information," I murmured.

"Don't forget about the rental car!" Zayn exclaimed right before I pressed the end call button.

I threw my phone beside me on the bed and rubbed my hands over my face. Only a limited amount of people knew about this certain, um, incident, and unfortunately one of the assholes that had taken part in it got a video of me doing...something.

I closed my eyes and threw my back onto the bed. I didn't believe Zayn would double cross me solely because he wanted the money. Austin couldn't provide for him anymore, and he needed a new source of income. Even if he wasn't going to be working for me very long, Zayn had still accepted my offer without hesitation. That I trusted.

That night continued to whirl around in my mind as my eyes remained closed. I had pushed it about as far away as it could get before Austin had reminded me of it a few minutes ago, and it reopened an old wound. I had been a victim while also being the attacker, but if anyone saw that video then I'd solely be the latter. And it killed me. I couldn't take anything from that night back. And trust me, I've tried to get it out of my mind with about every drug imaginable. But nothing worked; nothing ever would. I was the attacker in this situation, and that's all that played through my head.

———
flashback

"Oliver," Jimmy called as he walked behind me while placing his hands on my shoulders. "My man!"

I was currently at someone's very expensive twenty first birthday party. There was flashing lights, there was booze, there was every drug possible, there was strippers- I'm lucky I could even process what was going on.

"Hey, Man," I slurred as I lazily looked over my shoulder at him. Acid was currently coursing through my veins along with a shit of vodka, weed, ecstasy, and possibly even cocaine. So much shit was flowing through my blood that I had completely forgotten whose party this even fucking was.

"I got someone you need to meet," Jimmy chuckled into my ear. "She really wants to fuck you, Man. She's been waiting the whole night just to fucking meet you!"

My gaze slowly moved to open air in front of me as I watched the hot pink lights engulf those they covered. Everything was a haze; everything was a blur. I couldn't even fucking see straight without seeing drugged up hallucinations that both intrigued me and slightly frightened me.

"Onward," I slurred as I chuckled while my eyes squinted. "Let me meet my newest conquest!"

Jimmy chuckled and led me forward towards somewhere. He then turned us to the left and closed the door behind him. From what I could see, there were around three other guys in the room aside from Jimmy and I, and there was a girl lying on the bed.

"There she is," Jimmy murmured as he pointed at her. I went cross eyed as I stared at his finger before lingering my gaze on the girl. She looked around my age and had either dark brown or black hair. The hot pink lava lamp beside the bed accented her skin perfectly along with the dimly lit lights throughout the room.

"She's sexy," I slurred as I winked at Jimmy.

Jimmy chuckled and shook his head while the other men around our age in the room watched us with smirks on their faces. "She wants you, Man," Jimmy proclaimed as he pushed me towards the bed. "She hasn't shut up about you!"

I shook my head as a lazy grin overcame my face while I waved off his comment. I stumbled over to the bed and swayed as I stood beside her. "You're so pretty, Baby," I cooed through a giggle as I began unzipping my jeans. "You're so fucking gorgeous."

I kicked my jeans away from me drunkenly before pulling the bed covers back to see that she was already naked. I glanced at Jimmy and he shrugged his shoulders.

"I told you, Olly," Jimmy sighed with a sheepish smile. "She fucking wants you! But now she's just nervous."

"Oh, Baby," I murmured as I hovered over her. "There's nothing to be nervous about," I whispered as I leaned down to kiss her jawline. She tasted like booze and sweat as I kissed down her jawline to her neck, and she let out a low moan in response.

"Darling," I whispered as I buried my face in her neck while reaching down to fuck myself with my hand. "You're so fucking hot."

The girl moaned something in response as I continued to nibble on her neck while pumping myself.

"You gotta treat her too, Blackheart," Jimmy called from somewhere behind me. I lazily turned my head to the left to see he was recording the entire thing on his phone.

"Learn from the master, boys," I slurred with a wink, causing the men around me to chuckle.

I stopped pumping myself and reached down to rub her clit with two of my fingers. "You like that, Baby?" I slurred as she moaned something. I brought my fingers down to slide inside of her and I practically moaned at the feeling. "You're so fucking wet for me already," I moaned as I kissed her.

Jimmy chuckled in the background and I lazily turned my head to face him once again. "Stop watching, Pervert," I joked before turning back to the girl beneath me.

I lined my cock up with her entrance and slowly pushed myself inside of her while burying my face in her neck. I groaned at the feeling of her tight walls surrounding my sex, and she let out a soft moan at the feeling.

"Oh, Baby," I moaned as I brought my face to loom over hers. "You're so fucking tight, Darling." I began fucking her faster as I made out with her, and I will admit she was a very bad kisser. Then again, Jimmy had said she was nervous to meet me, so there's always that factor.

I pulled away from the kiss and studied her face as I fucked her. Her eyes had been closed the entire time that I had been in the room, but it was only because she was scared to meet me. Hell, I guess I could be pretty intimidating.

The girl's eyes slowly opened to meet mine and I smirked down at her. "Not so nervous now, are we?" I slurred as I winked at her. The girl's eyes studied mine and I swear I could see the nervousness within them. "Oh, Baby," I cooed with a small smile. "There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm just a regular person like the rest of you," I said.

I continued to fuck her as I watched her face. She was watching me with laziness spread across her features along with fear, causing me to slow down my pace a little. She turned her head slowly and mumbled something as she looked at Jimmy.

"What'd you say, Darling?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

She licked her lips as her eyes closed before her eyes met mine once again. "Ge...O...Me," she slurred, causing me to raise an eyebrow.

"What'd you say?" I asked as I leaned down so my ear was at her lips as I fucked her.

She lazily brought her hand to pat me on the back repeatedly as she murmured, "Ge...O...Me." I pulled my ear away from her lips, still unable to comprehend what she was saying, and she flashed me a look of fear as she slurred, "Pl-Plea..."

I shook my head and continued to fuck her, realizing that it was probably just the drugs that were getting her worlds jumbled in my head. She was probably asking me to give her hickeys or something but I couldn't be too sure so I just loomed above her as I fucked her. I mean, what if she asked me to do one thing and I did the complete opposite? I wouldn't want that shitshow on my hands.

The door to the bedroom slammed open before being slammed shut again.

"Oliver," Austin exclaimed as he pushed past Jimmy.

"Hey," Jimmy yelled back to Austin as I turned my head around to watch them. "The fuck is wrong with you, Man?"

Austin stared at the phone in Jimmy's hand before grabbing it. "You officially won't be needing this anymore," he murmured as he clicked off the phone and placed it in his pocket. "Here's three hundred dollars," Austin mumbled as he pulled out his wallet. "Buy a new fucking phone."

Austin then walked over to me and his eyes bugged as he glanced between the girl and I.

"Austin," I slurred with a wide grin. "So nice of you to join us."

Austin gulped as he trained his eyes on the girl's face before looking at me. "Oliver," he murmured shakily. "What the hell are you doing?"

I shook my head while wearing a lazy smile. "Jimmy introduced me to this girl who really wanted me to fuck her," I squeaked. "So I am."

Austin continued to study the girl as her eyes met his. "Oliver," he began. "Get off of her now," he murmured.

I raised an eyebrow. "What?" I asked as a confused expression took form on my face. "Why? She likes me."

Austin grabbed me by the back of my shirt and pulled me off of her and I stumbled to put my dick back in my pants. "What the hell?" I exclaimed as I watched his face contort into many separate hallucinated dreams.

Austin studied me before softly slapping me on the face. "Wake up," Austin yelled. "She's been fucking roofied, Oliver! Your fucking friends drugged her!"

I cast a slow glance at the girl to notice that her eyes were lazily watching us with hints of fear radiating through them. "Oh my God," I whispered as I ran my hands through my hair. "Oh no," I whimpered. "I just fucking raped her."

Austin grabbed me by the back of my shirt and led me out of the room. I cast a glance at Jimmy and he chuckled while shaking his head.

Austin slammed the bedroom door behind us and he led me through the party towards the exit. "C'mon," Austin murmured as he continued to push me in front of him. "We gotta go, Oliver."

"Sh-Shouldn't we go back?" I whimpered as I turned around to face him. Tears were sliding down my cheeks and were blurring my vision along with every narcotic flowing through me. "They're just gonna..."

Austin huffed as he pushed me out of the exit and walked me towards his car. "Oliver," Austin murmured as we reached his car. "How fucked up are you right now?"

I gulped as my body began shaking in fear and from the excessive amounts of drugs and alcohol coursing through my veins. "Very," I whimpered as I shook my head. "Oh my god, Austin," I cried as I buried my face in my hands. "I just fucking raped her."

"Yeah," Austin snapped as he got in my face. "You fucking did, Oliver. Maybe lay off every fucking drug you can suck someone's dick for next time!"

I whimpered as he shoved me in the passenger's seat of his car and slammed the door. I jerkily pulled the seatbelt over me as I recoiled into my seat once he entered the car. Austin glared at me as I continued to whimper out incoherent sobs.

"You better hope that this shit doesn't get out, Blackheart," Austin groaned as he leaned towards me, causing me to recoil even father into my seat. "You better fucking pray that she doesn't even remember who you fucking were."

I nodded my head quickly as more tears escaped my eyes. I cast a quick glance at him to see that he was still glaring at me, and I practically whimpered again at the look he was giving me.

Austin reached over and slapped my cheek harshly before putting the car in reverse and pulling out of the parking lot. After about a thirty minute drive, Austin dropped me off at my house and then sped off to go back to his hotel room, or possibly even the airport now. Most likely he was going back to the airport because of the shit I had just pulled and-

"Oh fuck," I whispered as I unlocked the door to my house while resting my forehead against it. I sobbed for a few more moments until I started screaming as my knees gave out. I slid down the door until my knees were on the ground while I continued screaming into the wood, my body shaking violently because of the sobs leaving my mouth.

"I'm so sorry," I whimpered into the door to no one. I was alone; no one else was around me. "I'm so fucking sorry." I felt something coming up my stomach as I lurched to the side and threw up in one of the bushels of flowers beside me. My stomach was in knots as alcohol and nothing else came out of my body as I was on my knees while bent over a bush. Once my stomach had given up and all I was doing was dry heaving, I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and shakily stood up while leaning onto my door for support.

I walked into my house and slammed my front door behind me as I threw my keys somewhere on the floor. It's not like it mattered where I put them; nothing mattered anymore.

I walked slowly towards my bedroom and slammed my face onto my bed as I sobbed even harder. I gripped the pillow with my fists as I screamed my sobs while my body shook. I wasn't Oliver Blackheart, America's favorite playboy anymore, but I knew I had to reawaken that person eventually. I wasn't Oliver Blackheart, the party boy who breaks hearts and fucks for fun, although I would have to reawaken that persona some time.

I was Oliver Blackheart....

I sobbed even harder into the pillow as I bit the pillowcase. The pillow didn't even come close to muffling my sobs as I screamed my lungs out. It was just a barrier between me and reality, although reality just kept scratching its ice cold nails down my neck tonight.

I bit my lip as I whimpered to calm myself down. I didn't need to have a horrible reaction to the drugs I was on, especially not after tonight. If I had a bad high, there's no telling what I might do next tonight. Apparently I never knew what I was going to do ever. Just when you think you've got yourself under control, you spiral into an even worse shit storm.

I brought my face away from the pillow to where only half of my face was resting against it. My tears slowed down and soon I was just a shaking mess as I stared into the darkness eclipsing me.

I took a few deep breaths as my body continued to shake from the anxiety coursing through me. I closed my eyes while trying to think of anything other than tonight before opening my eyes in defeat. I knew what I was; I knew what I had done. The worst part was that I was probably going to resort to the same drugs I used tonight just so I could forget about tonight. I whimpered as more sobs threatened to escape my lips.

I inhaled one last shaky breath before whispering, "I'm Oliver Blackheart, the rapist."

———
present

I opened my eyes and gazed at what was around me for a few moments. A stray tear had escaped and slid down my cheek as I blinked the other tears forming away. That was almost a year ago, just another month and it would officially have been a year ago.

I groaned as my eyes screwed shut. Austin had kept Jimmy's phone this entire fucking time. He still had the video, and he probably had Zayn save it on every hard drive he could find.

But after Zayn got to Atlanta tonight, I'd be free. I'd be free of the curse that I had bestowed upon myself; I'd be free of Austin's demands. I'd be just the regular, funny Oliver Blackheart with no strings attached.

After tonight, I'd have no strings on me.

:')
my lil baby Oliver :')
and, just curious, does anyone still love oliver after this or do you have mixed emotions? i understand either way but, personally, i still love oliver...then again it's probably because i know how his story continues along with everyone else's and you don't :')