Kim suggested that we meet up at Nunzio's Pizzeria for a quick dinner, and I was more than game. My stomach always growled at the mere mention of one of their slices.

Our goal was to carb-load, to put something in our systems that would soak up the Amstel Lights we planned to imbibe later. It was her last hurrah before she had to head back to school the next day, so we'd agreed to stick with beer and not get too drunk. We'd also promised to stay together for the whole night. No running off with any hook-ups, old or new.

We settled into our favorite booth beside the brown tiled wall. Burnt orange benches hugged our bottoms. Faux wood-grained tables welcomed our red tray, laden with the slices and sodas.

My slice was still bubbling like some garlic-imbued lava when I took a first big bite. I knew I'd get burned, but I couldn't help myself. The mozzarella immediately melded to the roof of my mouth. My tongue peeled off the strings of cheese, and some flesh came with it. I opened my lips to vent off the volcanic heat, and fanned at my face while my eyes watered.

"You did it again, didn't you?" Kim laughed and blew on her own pizza, before taking a delicate test bite.

After I managed to finally swallow, I sang, "Joy and pain, are like sunshine and rain."

"Alright calm down over there Rob Base." She chuckled and dabbed a bit of sauce from the corner of her mouth.

I took another bite and spoke with my mouth full. "You realize that makes you DJ EZ Rock."

She shrugged. "There are worse things to be."

"Are there?" I put my slice down onto the paper plate, and wiped some flour off my hands.

Kim was not the type to analyze my life unless invited to. But I knew her long enough to recognize when she was opening the door for a conversation that she wanted to have with me.

"So... Tell me Kimmy what do you really think of musicians?"

We both took another bite and I watched as she shook her mane of hair back, and pushed a few strands from her face with the back of her hand like a cat.

"Are we talking about them in general? Or particularly? Like specifically that guy you went home with the other night?"

"How'd you know I went home with Dom?"

The end of the straw poking out of my fountain soda cup was already gnarled up. I chewed on it some more.

"Probably because I've been your best friend since we're twelve. And you have some... patterns."

There was still a blister on my palate. My tongue prodded at it. So I didn't say anything right away.

Kim rushed to add, "You know I'm not judging. I'm just saying that I don't think you're going to really fall in love with anyone when you go through guys like Kleenex."

Soda threatened to shoot out of my nose. I forced it back down. It stung.

"Yeah well, I don't want to fall in love."

"I don't believe that for a second." She rolled her eyes.

"It sounds like some kind of con job - fall in love. No thank you! I want to walk into it, upright and with eyes open."

She clucked her tongue at me. "If that's your plan, then maybe you shouldn't spend so much time horizontal with your eyes closed."

"A girl's gotta pass the time somehow."

I wiggled my eyebrows at her and we both launched into a fit of giggles. Kim threw a balled up dirty napkin at me.

"Stop making me laugh Charli! I'm trying to be serious with you! I worry about you when I go back to school."

I flicked the napkin back towards her. "I know. I'm sorry. But honestly, I'm fine."

"So says the woman who bites directly into her scalding pizza." Kim shook her head.

"Every damn time! I can't help it If Nunzio's makes me throw all caution to the wind." I smiled and took another enormous bite.

Kim picked up her cup and pointed her pristine straw at me. "Other people might say you're doing exactly that by going home with some guy you just met. But I know you. You've built up your defenses so high that you'd rather hook-up and never let them get inside of here." She pointed it at her head. "Or God forbid, here!" She pointed to her heart.

Even though Kim was my dearest friend, and I knew she had my best interests in mind, there was just no way she would understand. Her parents had been together, mostly happily, for the past thirty years. Mine made it through eight wretched ones before calling it quits. Then they'd spent the next fourteen trying to make the other one even more miserable separately. It had ended, but it still felt never-ending.

"That's easy for you to say Kim. You go away to school. So when you date someone you get the easy out. A holiday comes, or a summer break, and you've got a built in escape plan. If I date someone around here, they're always around. You know it's not easy to avoid people here."

Looking over my shoulder, I spotted at least four people we knew sitting nearby in the tiny pizzeria. One table waved at me. Two more familiar faces were ordering at the counter, and three were at the window in front getting ices. I turned toward Kim again and thrust my thumb back at the dining area. "I mean, have you looked around this place? I think my point is made."

Kim said hi to a couple girls she went to grammar school with. Then she lowered her voice to a whisper, "Why are you thinking of the ending before there's even been a beginning?"

I didn't bother to whisper. "Because I don't want to waste my energy forcing myself into, and out of, bad relationships. I've got too much other stuff going on between taking twenty credits each semester and working full time. When I decide to share my limited time with another person, I just want it to be a conscious choice, and not something I stumble into."

Our plates were empty. I piled them onto the tray, along with our cups.

Kim stood up with a stretch and a sigh. "I wish Adam lived here. It would make our dating life so much easier. I hate having to deal with the long distance thing over the summer."

I grabbed the tray and walked toward the trash can. "You didn't seem to hate it yesterday when you were flirting with Mr. Zoot Suit Riot."

"What can I say? I like free drinks."

Kim pushed the flap of the bin open. The garbage slid off, and I put the empty tray on top.

"Me too. Now let's go get some."