she really thought he was forever, then forever was dead

Aurora Holland

"You know, I truly don't mind you staying here at all, but can we at least talk about what happened at PROM?" Cameron asked from his bed, glancing over at me.

"What do you mean?" I played dumb, scrolling on my phone. I rolled my eyes as it began to vibrate for what seemed like the tenth time within the last fifteen minutes, dismissing it quickly as soon as I read the name.

"We all saw what happened, Ror." Cameron sighed as he sat up. He stood from his spot and sat next to me on the brown couch he kept in his room, resting his legs on top of mine. "The entire school did. I know you wanna act like nothing happened, but if you weren't bothered or upset about something, I don't think you'd have asked me if you could stay here for a while."

"Fine." I decided with a sigh. If I owed anyone an explanation, it'd be Cameron. He was kind enough to let me stay here, after all.

I sat up further and turned my body just slightly to face him. "Carter's been bothering me non-stop since PROM, along with Paige and even Logan. I don't want to talk to them - let alone anyone, but out of everyone, nobody would think to look for me here. I began to stay at Miles' house, but his parents got suspicious after two days. Not to mention, I got lucky, and the day after I left, Carter showed up at his house, knowing Miles is one of my best friends. Out of everyone in the group, none of them would think to look here, let alone your bedroom. They might question if I'd go to Bailey, but never in a million years would they think of you."

"Well, if they question you going to Bailey, they'd find you here anyway," Cameron stated, putting his hands over his stomach. "I mean, why are you running from everyone anyway? Can't you just tell your parents you don't want guests or something?"

"I wish it were that easy," I muttered. "You haven't had the luxury of getting to know my mother. She's not the type to turn away guests, especially my beloved cousin."

"Right," He mumbled, sitting up a bit. "I guess that makes sense. And-and Bailey's not going to say anything?" He then asked, looking up at me.

"About that," I mumbled, turning a little further in my seat to face him. "I don't think she's going to say anything because she thinks you... like me, so she doesn't want your 'secret' out." I put finger quotes around the word secret, my face growing red as I admitted it to him.

"W-what?" He asked in disbelief, sitting further up. "W-why would she think that? That- that's a crazy thought."

"Because of how we're constantly talking, I guess. She noticed that we sneak off and speak - and since she doesn't know about the whole Layla situation, I just let her think it. If I told her the truth, she'd know, and I didn't wanna do that to you. So I just stayed silent. She thinks it's because something's going on between us." I admitted. "Or that there may be a chance, anyway."

Cameron's face grew red, and his eyes avoided mine. "Bailey's a little optimist when it comes to love, I guess." He spoke after a moment of silence. "But I guess it's good it works out in your favor, then. Not having to over-explain anything to her."

I shrugged, messing with a string from my hoodie. "I guess so. Although I do miss my bedroom."

"What, don't like my humble abode?" Cameron jokingly asked, looking around the big bedroom.

"No, it's not that. I'm just used to being alone a lot, you know? Being gone for so long kinda makes me appreciate it more." I told him.

The sound of my phone vibrating against the couch was heard, and I loudly groaned as I leaned my head back against the back. I didn't bother to touch it, causing Cameron to reach forward and grab it.

"It's Carter." He mumbled.

"Again," I added. "That's the third time in five minutes."

"Wow," He muttered. "Dude's consistent, that's for sure. I don't think I've ever seen Carter Jackson try this hard for someone's attention before."

I shrugged, "Whatever. I don't care." It was a lie, but maybe it'll eventually come true if I continue to speak it out loud.

"So if you're avoiding Carter and Paige, why aren't you speaking to anyone else?" Cameron asked, bringing the topic up again.

"Well, Garrett's barely attempted to contact me, I think he's weirded out about the whole Carter thing. Ashley made it seem as if I was obsessed with Carter, which isn't the case." I told him softly.

"So why not tell him that?" Cameron asked as he pulled his legs off mine, mirroring my position.

"I don't know. I hate having to prove myself. I haven't had my journal for months," I said. "I don't know," I spoke again after a few moments of silence. "I just want everything to be over, you know? If I keep explaining myself to people over and over again, I'm going to keep feeling the same feelings."

"But running away won't do much either." Cameron softly responded. "Not meaning the literal thing. I can understand because of your mom and all, but I mean the whole explaining yourself. I mean, you like Garrett, right?"

"Of course I do!" I exclaimed, only earning a look from Cameron. "I mean, I thought I did." I shrugged, looking over at him. "But after what I experienced with Carter, I just realized I expected too much from boys. I shouldn't have jumped into any sort of relationship with any boy until I knew they wanted me the way I wanted them. All of this could've been avoided."

"Don't blame yourself, okay?" Cameron softly asked.

"It's hard not to. I was stupid enough to go after the most popular boy in school and to use his rival as a rebound. Everything happening to me is the consequence of my own actions. If I just did what I'm used to doing and just - I don't know - liked people from afar, this wouldn't have ever happened."

Cameron looked at me with a look I couldn't decipher, but before he could respond, the sound of the doorbell echoing through the house prevented him from doing so. He sighed as he stood up, "I'll be right back. You stay here in case it's someone we know."

"Okay," I softly said, watching as he exited the room.

I hit decline on the next call that had gone through my phone, not even bothering to look at the caller ID. Even if it wasn't Carter, I didn't feel like talking to anyone.

Cameron excluded, most people just wanted to know the same thing, asking the same questions. I didn't want to answer, as I only bothered to open up to Cameron since he was kind enough to let me stay here.

Deciding I was bored enough without Cameron in here, I stood up despite his warning to stay put. I left his bedroom and went down the stairs, seeing Cameron standing at the door as he spoke to an unknown person on the other side.

"What makes you think she's here?" I heard Cameron ask, and my thoughts immediately went to thinking it was Carter on the other side.

"Because her mom said she was here working on a project with Bailey." The voice on the other side said, and it didn't take long for me to realize that it wasn't Carter standing on the other side.

That voice belonged to Garrett, who hadn't been in Riverway since PROM had happened.

I stepped up behind Cameron, gently touching his arm to catch his attention. He glanced back, sending me a look that asked, 'Are you sure?'. I nodded, and he stepped away, giving me the room to step between him and Garrett.

Garrett looked at me, partially surprised I was actually there. He didn't say anything and looked above my head where Cameron stood behind me, causing me to turn to the blond.

"It'll be okay. I'll be right out here," I told him assuringly, and he hesitantly stepped back.

"I'll just be inside. Let me know if you need me, okay?" Cameron softly asked, not bothering to look at Garrett.

I stepped further out of the house as I nodded, giving him room to shut the door. Once he did, I turned back to Garrett, who had been patiently waiting for us to be alone.

We stepped to the side where the porch swing was, and I motioned to it in a way to ask if he'd wanted to sit down.

He shook his head, declining the offer. This immediately made me nervous, my stomach dancing with butterflies as I didn't know what to expect.

Surely it was important, as he'd driven from Arrowway to find me.

"You haven't been answering your phone," He started. Even though he'd barely bothered to contact me, he was right.

"I know." I sighed, "Look, I'm sorry-"

"I don't want to hear any excuses, okay?" Garrett quickly asked, cutting me off.

Not expecting the attitude, I stayed silent. Due to everything going on, I'm more emotional than usual, so just the simple attitude caused tears to well in my eyes. I tried to blink them away, knowing there was no legitimate reason to cry, but I couldn't help how hurt I was.

"I-I gave you a chance, you know?" He asked as he continued, not seeming bothered by my silence. "I drove here constantly, hung out with your shitty entitled friends, did everything I could to show I was 'interested' in you." He put finger quotes around the word interested. "I did everything I could, but got nothing from it. Not even a kiss except for New Year's, you know? That's tiring."

Realizing where this had been going, my face scrunched up. "That's what this is about?" I asked softly in disbelief.

"Yes! What else would it be about? I mean, I know Carter had this weird obsession with you when we first met, but when you were still single when we ran into each other on New Year's, I thought maybe I had a chance for at least a hook-up or something, considering you were all over me-"

"I wasn't all over you," I quickly cut him off, scratching at the back of my hand. "I was a little drunk, and we kissed for New Year's. Everyone was doing it. Not once after that did I give any impression I was looking for just a hook-up."

Garrett laughed, although nothing was funny. He looked angry as he stepped a little closer to me, causing me to take a step back. "If I knew how fucking obsessed you were with that worthless Carter Jackson I'd have never gotten with you. It's embarrassing to know I'd even shown myself around you."

The words hurt, and I felt my chest tighten. "You came all the way over here to say that?" My voice cracked at the question.

"Well, you wouldn't exactly answer the phone, so I had no other choice." He motioned his hands out dramatically.

"You could have literally texted anything else and it would've been fine." I scoffed, taking a deep breath. "You could have blocked me, and I would've gotten the hint, you're being hurtful just to be hurtful."

"What, you never thought about the fact that I could be hurt?" He stepped closer, causing me to step back. "I spent months just dealing with you to get in your pants, and I got nothing in return! I just looked stupid because apparently, everyone else knew about your weird obsession with Carter. Everyone except for me."

"You're an asshole," I mumbled, unable to think of anything else to say.

"I'm an asshole?" He asked in disbelief as if he couldn't hear what he was saying.

He stepped forward once more, and I stepped back. The back of my knees hit the front of the porch swing, causing my legs to give out. I fell onto the swing as he stopped directly in front of me, lowering enough to where he was close to my face.

"I'm an asshole," He said again. "You're a pathetic prude who does nothing but tease boys! You think you're so innocent playing a constant victim complex, it's no wonder you're single and nobody likes you."

My jaw fell at the words he said, his personality the complete opposite of what I'd ever seen. It then hit me that Carter was right about Garrett, and it was clear he'd only been using me. Of course, it wasn't because of the reason Carter was thinking, but more the fact that he was just a horny teenager.

I didn't say anything, unable to find my voice. I didn't need to, though, as not even a few seconds later, someone stood in between him and me, blocking him from saying anything else.

"I think you need to leave," Cameron mumbled. His voice was coated in anger, and I couldn't see his face, although I could imagine it was a look of hate.

Garrett looked at Cameron before glancing back at me. "Gladly." He muttered, beginning to turn away.

"Before you go," Cameron then said, speaking up before he could move much further. "I just wanted to say one thing." He chuckled, stepping toward Garrett. "You call her pathetic, but she has standards. Unlike you, she knows what type of guy she wants, and clearly, if you were her type, something would've happened. I, personally, think you're just so angry you were rejected by her that you thought hurting her feelings would make yours better. Not to mention you say she's pathetic, but you were the one that was so desperate to get a girl to sleep with you, that you drove a whole town over to get some and you're mad that not only would none of the girls at Arrowway sleep with you, but neither would any from Riverway. Quite sad."

Garrett didn't say anything, but by the look on his face, it seemed Cameron had hit a nerve. He then laughed, "Don't waste your time, Letterman. Trust me, she's not worth it and definitely won't sleep with you."

Cameron mirrored the laugh, and as Garrett turned to walk away, he turned toward me for a second. He took one look at my face before turning again, taking a few steps after Garrett. "One more thing-" He stopped, causing Garrett to stop.

"What no-"

Before Garrett could finish his question, Cameron's fist collided with his face. I gasped as I stood from my spot at the swing, my hand covering my mouth as I watched Garrett tumble from the porch.

Cameron stepped forward, and I rushed to the railing to watch what was happening.

Garrett didn't bother trying to fight back and instead held his face in pain. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Cameron shook his hand out, smiling. "What's- what's wrong with me? What's wrong with you, man? You had something so perfect sitting in front of you, yet you decided to think with the wrong head. Get out of here and don't come back. I won't be as nice next time."

The blond boy didn't wait for a response and instead turned my way. He stepped up the porch steps and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, leading me inside.

I didn't bother to look back at Garrett as we walked into the house. I didn't care to, and I was already upset enough that looking back at him would only make me feel worse.

Cameron led me back to his bedroom. He grabbed a bag of frozen corn from the freezer on our way, holding it to the hand he'd punched Garrett with. I began to feel bad but didn't say anything until we were back on the couch.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"I knew he wasn't coming here for any good." He shrugged. "Deserved it, he's a dick."

"Yeah. Apparently, that's all I attract." I muttered, ignoring the feeling of my phone vibrating.

"You'll find your person," Cameron said.

I nodded, the day taking a toll on my energy. I read the texts on my phone, clearing them once I did so. There were a few from Elijah and Katherine checking on me, then a few from Ashley and her friends taunting me.

Ashley was angry because Carter left her after what she did, and she was blaming me as if I'd taken him away from her. Her friends were just doing what she said, but at this point, it didn't bother me. She'd been bullying me all year, I was used to it at this point, despite the fact that it'd gotten worse.

Not to mention graduation was coming up, and soon enough, I wouldn't have to deal with Ashley and her minions anymore. I'd be out of Riverway High, and I could move on with my life despite everything that's happened.

The thought of graduation was enough to turn my stomach into more knots. I'd been so caught up in everything happening drama-wise that I hadn't even begun to look into any colleges.

I know if I really looked, I could easily get accepted into a community college, because all the times I failed to make friends and find dates, I did twice as well when it came to schoolwork and excelling in my classes.

My thing is, where do I want to go? I never really gave it much thought, as Paige had always said we'd attend the same college together - which of course would be her choice of college.

"You doing okay?" Cameron asked as he repositioned the frozen corn, looking at me with what could only be described as a soft look.

"I will be. How about you? How's your hand?" I reached forward, pulling the vegetables to the side. His knuckles were dark and puffy, bruises already beginning to form.

"Nothing I haven't handled before. Wish I woulda hit him harder," He admitted. "I'm surprised you didn't get angry at me or anything."

"Why would I? He was-" I stopped. "He was saying very mean things. I'm not one for violence, but he deserved that one punch. Although I'll admit, I was expecting more of a fight."

Cameron shrugged, watching our hands carefully as I brushed my fingertips over the bruising parts. "Me too."

"What, you weren't interested in fighting him even if he wasn't fighting back?" I asked, putting the corn back over his hand.

"Sure I was," He said. "But I wasn't going to continue throwing hits. One was enough for me, I'd have only done more had he actually laid his hands on you."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Don't mention it. I'm not Carter, you know." He started, "With the fighting. I only try to hit people when it's needed. I don't think I've ever even actually hit someone before."

"Could tell," I joked, causing him to look at me. "What? You could've easily broken your hand had you hit him hard enough."

"Anyways, I'm sure Garrett won't be an issue anymore. And if he is, there'll be plenty of us to do something about it."