- EVIL; Melanie Martinez -

Aurora Holland

je veux juste savoir, est-ce que tu rêves de moi aussi ?

Staring with disbelief at the words scribbled on a crumbled napkin, I couldn't help but feel anger and annoyance. Another one of these notes - what seemed like the millionth this week - full of words in French I don't understand.

I've yet to translate any of these notes, but I've now had to move them from my previous hiding spot under my makeup palettes. There are so many of these stupid little notes that I've had to move them to an empty shoe box, shoving it at the top of my closet where I used to hide my journal.

The journal I've yet to find.

My fingers shook as I moved them over the black ink, the foreign words jumbling through my mind. It went from once every other week or so, to once a day, and this is now the third one I've found - today. Whoever's doing this is either really hating me, or they admire me.

And with the reputation I've gathered here at Riverway, I'm scared to think it's the first one.

I decided to stop staring at it looking stupid and shoved it in my hoodie pocket as I slammed my locker door shut. I'm supposed to be meeting Miles at the library, but now the last thing I want to do is study.

My fingers trembled as I walked in the cold air in the direction of the public library. It was past Halloween, and the weather got colder and colder as each day passed.

It was beautiful, more beautiful than Autumn ever was back at Point Prep. It made the walk to the public library much more enjoyable, my mind listening to whatever music played through my earbuds.

By the time I arrived at the library, my fingers were pink and frozen. The tip of my nose was cold as well, running slightly from not having anything covering the exposed skin. It was nice and warm, and I was grateful as it was only when I entered the giant building that I realized how chilly it was outside.

After saying hello to the librarian as I usually did, I went up to the second floor. Miles wasn't there - as I knew he wouldn't be. He informed me he was going to be running late because he needed to take care of something, and I didn't ask questions.

As I made my way to our usual table, I stopped as I saw Quinn studying on her own at a table nearby. I glanced around to see if anyone else I knew was up here before going and sitting across from her, ignoring the glance she sent my way.

"I need your help," I said quickly, tugging the note from my pocket.

Quinn put her pencil down, her full attention on me. "What's going on?"

"I've-" I stopped, glancing around before back at her. "I've been getting these notes for so long, but they're all in French."

I passed the note to her, watching as she read it over a few times. "Rory... who's sending these?"

"I don't know. I don't know what they say, what they ask, anything." I shrugged, "I just know it's been happening since shortly after I moved here. And I pushed them to the side because when I first started getting them it was only every once in a while, but I've gotten three just today."

"Honey, this is a love letter." She mumbled, looking up at me. "A poem. Something you'd find in a book."

"Seriously?" I asked, scrunching my nose. I pulled my backpack from my back, pulling the two other notes I'd gotten today. "What do they say? Write them underneath please."

Quinn quickly scribbled down in her neat handwriting what the note I'd given her said, before looking the other two over. As she translated them for me, I read what the most recent one said.

'I just want to know, do you dream of me too?'

She scribbled on each note what they said, before piling them up and sliding them my way. "You said there are more? Have you kept them?" She asked.

"Yes. All of them. An entire box full of things I can't understand." I told her.

"I can translate them all for you if you want." She offered, "Maybe we can try to figure out who's doing this."

"You'd be willing to do that?" I asked, looking at her in shock.

"Of course. You're my friend, and whoever's doing this is... consistent for sure." She took another glance at the notes. "They're all related to loving you, I think."

"Love? Who would love me?" I asked out loud.

Her eyes drifted behind me, and I turned to see Miles walking toward us. He held a giant basket in his hands, one I immediately recognized as the spooky basket he told me about before Halloween.

"You won it?!" I asked in surprise, a smile covering his features as I acknowledged him.

"Guess you could say so," He said as he walked up to the table. I turned to see Quinn's hand over the notes, covering them from Miles' sight.

I touched her hand, sliding the notes off of the table into my pocket. Her eyes moved from me to Miles, as if she were speaking with the beautiful brown irises. I just rolled my eyes as a way to shoot down her offer, but before I could shake my head or completely acknowledge it, Miles sat down next to us.

"What were you guys working on?" He sat the basket on the table to the left of him, glancing down at the work on the table.

"Nothing," I mumbled. This was the first time I'd intentionally kept something from Miles, but it wasn't because I was worried about what he'd think or that I actually believed Quinn when she motioned toward him.

The truth is, I have absolutely no idea who makes these notes. I have no idea who it is, but I feel as if I'm one step closer because of the fact that they have nothing to do with any type of harassment but more as 'love', as Quinn said.

"I was actually getting ready to head out," Quinn spoke up as she glanced from me to Miles. "I'll see you later, okay?" She then asked me as she shoved her belongings into her bag.

Miles just watched in confusion as I looked at Quinn, my brows pushed together. She wasn't talking about leaving when I'd first walked up, but then again I could've distracted her when she was intending to leave before I got here.

Quinn sent a kind smile before walking away, leaving just about the entire upper section to Miles and me. I watched her as she went, confused but not saying anything as I didn't want to confuse Miles any further.

"So," Miles spoke up, catching my attention.

I looked over at him, watching as he slid the spooky basket across the table from his side to mine. "Happy late Halloween," He told me, his cheeks turning a light pink as he sent me a half-smile.

"W-what?" I asked, looking at the basket. "But you-"

"I won it, and I thought you'd enjoy it more than me." He interrupted me, "You've been through a lot, and I felt this could maybe cheer you up."

"Miles, you didn't have to-"

"I know," He cut me off again with a nod. "Just accept the gift, please. It's nothing romantic, just- just something from one friend to another, one to show... I care."

I could tell it was hard to explain that he didn't mean anything behind it, so instead of continuing to decline the gift I just smiled wider as I began to look through the contents. It was what you'd expect - candy and other Halloween-themed items. It was nice, and I couldn't help but feel grateful for Miles at that moment.

"This is great, thank you," I told him softly, messing with the side of it. "It's rare for someone to do things like this for me, so I guess I just didn't know how to accept it."

"I get that," Miles admitted, his eyes focused on the table. "I am here for you though, despite everything."

"You're a good friend, thank you, Miles," I whispered, almost as if I were embarrassed for some reason.

The sound of someone stomping up the steps behind us caused me to turn my head, and any nice feelings I'd had went away as anger coursed through my body.

Logan made his way to the second floor, his eyes landing on me almost immediately. Instead of giving him the time of day I just turned to Miles. "Would you want to come over and watch some movies or something?"

Miles glanced to where Logan stood before back at me, nodding immediately. "Yeah, sure. I'm caught up on homework anyway."

I'd barely unpacked my bag when I'd arrived, so it didn't take long for us to get our things together and stand up to leave. I ignored the sad look in Logan's eyes as we walked past him, not bothering to give him a second glance.

I'm mad - rightfully so, I believe. Or maybe not. I get that I didn't have true feelings for him - feelings the way I did for Carter - but I still felt something. I still went on dates, talked to him, and let him touch me and treat me like we were dating. But we weren't. And if he was into Paige the entire time, he should've just said something instead of leading me on.

It was silent between Miles and me as we began the walk to my house. Miles was kind enough to carry the spooky basket, letting me shove my hands in my jacket pocket to keep them warm. The wind blew through my hair, nipping at my nose.

Miles' cheeks and nose were pink, and so I could only imagine mine were close to the same color - if not darker.

"I'm sorry about having to deal with what you do," Miles said.

"You don't need to apologize, you didn't do anything." I muttered, "I guess I'm just tired of being trampled over. It's like there's a sign on my back saying 'kick me' because that's all everyone seems to do."

"We're in high school, Rory." Miles began, "This means none of us are mature enough to know how we're supposed to act. Some people such as you and me had to grow up a little early and so we're well aware of those things, but the people who are handed everything they've ever wanted haven't ever had to deal with those things. They don't know how treating someone so... so shitty could affect them. They don't know that their actions have consequences."

"You're right, and I know that. But is it bad I'm just mostly mad at Paige? I'm mad at Logan I guess, don't get me wrong. But I-" I stopped walking, biting my lip in thought. "I didn't even feel for him what I was supposed to. I didn't get the butterflies or the nervousness from liking someone so much, I didn't... I didn't feel the way I felt-" I stopped, unable to finish my thought.

Miles also stopped, staring at me as if he were thinking very carefully of what to say. He seemed to not want to overstep - which I get - but at the same time it seemed he had a lot to say.

"Miles, I didn't feel anything I felt for Carter. And I hate that. I hate that I didn't feel what I should've. It should've been Logan, I should have gotten the stupid butterflies and the tingles and the feeling as if I was on a rollercoaster going eighty miles per hour." I ranted, ignoring how cold I was getting from being outside for so long. "All signs pointed to Logan. He was the perfect sporty person, he got me into cheerleading and dance and we were supposed to be that couple you see and know they're going to last and be the high school sweethearts you only ever see in the movies."

Miles' brows pushed together, and he cleared his throat. "Is that what you truly think?" He asked, "That Logan was the one for you all along? Or are you letting other people dictate your life?"

I didn't say anything, speechless as to what I should say.

"Rory, you've always been told what you should do your whole life. And I pick up on more than I let on, and even without my observations I have all the things you've opened up to me about since our friendship began." Miles shifted the basket to his other arm, "Your mother, Paige, and even Logan himself have been shoving this idea of you two in your ear since you moved here to Riverway. You even said Layla admitted she had been wanting you two to become a thing before realizing her mistake. That's not even the half of it. You're saying all signs pointed to you and Logan, but I think those signs you're picking up on aren't actual signs, just people trying to tell you how to live your life just as they always have. You wanted Carter, and because you wanted Carter, they wanted you with what's described as the 'better' Jackson sibling."

He was right, but I didn't know what to say. But before I could muster up a response, he continued to speak.

"You were happy with Carter, and Carter hurt you. Now instead of getting over him in a healthy way, you're giving into what everyone else is telling you. Sure, they were right that Carter isn't who you should be with - but you learn from that. You don't have to date who they say, just because the one relationship you started didn't work as they said, doesn't mean the one they want will. It was forced, and anyone from a ten-mile radius could see it." He explained, "You need to date someone you get those butterflies for. Just because Carter's been the only one doesn't mean he will be the only one. You're seventeen, not at the end of your life. You might end up with someone you'll meet in college or even after when you're pursuing your career. This is just a small fraction of your life, and the world won't end if you graduate high school a single woman."

Tears filled the corners of my eyes, taking in every word he said. He was right, I knew he was right, and he knew he was right. He was telling me not what I wanted to hear - but what I needed to hear, and I couldn't be more grateful.

"You're freezing, let's get to yours, okay?" Miles asked, not taking the conversation any further.

I just nodded in agreement, wiping the corners of my eyes. We walked in silence the rest of the way to my house, my tears long gone by the time we arrived.

It was warm in the house, my freezing fingers and nose immediately thawing as I locked the door behind us. Nobody was home - as per usual - and so I just led Miles up to my room, shutting and locking the door behind us in case my mom or dad got home before he left.

"Your room is nice," Miles commented as he looked around. I began to take my coat off, watching as he set the spooky basket on my art desk.

His eyes lingered on the painting sitting above my desk - the one Carter painted me for our first date. I'd yet take it down, despite knowing I should. Looking at it gives me memories of the night all over again, but for some reason every time I go to touch it I back away. Despite the heartbreak I feel knowing there's nothing between us anymore, I can't help but feel happy at the fact he gave me an amazing first date that most others probably wouldn't.

You'd think it would change my standards, but here I am heartbroken again - by his brother. What's crazy is Logan didn't even do half of the effort Carter did, which could be a big reason as to why I didn't feel the way I did. I didn't feel anything for Carter at first, but my feelings grew more and more when he treated me the way nobody else did.

"I spend a lot of time in here, so it's my safe space," I said, responding to his comment.

"I like it, it's you," Miles said. "Well, maybe not this." He picked up one of the pompoms from my vanity, waving it around a few times.

"Yeah, I guess cheerleading isn't my thing, huh?" I asked softly, twirling my ring around my finger.

"What movie are we watching?" Miles asked as he took his hoodie off. He neatly folded it and leaned it on the back of my art desk chair, fixing his hair afterward.

"I don't know, we can watch anything really." I shrugged as I grabbed the remote, turning the TV on.

I grabbed some pillows from the bed and put them on the floor along with a blanket for padding, and sitting down. I didn't want Miles to feel awkward by inviting him to just lay all over my bed the first time he came over, so I figured a little pallet on the floor would suffice.

He didn't complain and sat down next to me, leaning back against the edge of the bed. We scrolled until we found a movie, one that both of us thought looked interesting.

My mind wandered as the movie played. I was able to pay attention somewhat, but my mind was elsewhere and I think Miles was well-aware of that. If he was, he didn't say anything. He said what needed to be said when we stopped along the sidewalk, and he knew that continuing to talk about it wouldn't do anything but make things worse. He knew I'd eventually heal on my own, but little did he know the words he said had a huge impact and helped me a lot more than he realized.

Before I realized what was happening, I felt my head begin to fall as I dozed off. I was much more tired than I let on, but instead of fighting the urge to stay awake, I passed out, my head hitting Miles' shoulder being the last thing I remember before drifting off into a deep sleep.

++

Been a bit too busy to spend lots of time at once writing, hope you understand <3

Don't forget to be commenting and voting! 

What would you like to see happen in the sequel?