- Tiny Dancer; Elton John -
- &burn (with Vince Staples); Billie Eilish ft. Vince Staples -
- Reckless; Madison Beer -
- Champion; Elina -
- wish i loved you in the 90s; Tate McRae - 
- Heartbreak Weather; Jonah Marais -
- All I Wanted; Paramore -

Aurora Holland

I stood by the locker for what felt like minutes upon minutes, frowning as it became more and more empty by the second. I glanced down both sides of the hallway, rolling my eyes as a boy passing by whistled in my direction.

Instead, I just pulled my raincoat further onto my body, causing it to drape over me like a blanket. It was raining quite heavily outside, and I'm beginning to think it was only going to get heavier.

It's one of the rainy days here in Riverway, a day I'd yet to experience until now. Sure, it's been quite chilly and there's even been a few sprinkles here and there - but I don't think I've witnessed rain this bad since back at Point Prep.

I twirled the ring around my finger as I danced from one foot to the other, beginning to grow impatient. I look stupid - so incredibly stupid - standing here as if I don't know where I'm going.

Blowing air into my cheeks to make them puff up, I glanced both ways once more before turning and moving to the entrance of the school, ready to get this long-awaited walk over with.

Good thing I decided to bring my rain jacket and wear my rain boots. Carter thought it was silly, but is it so silly now that he's not here?

My phone vibrated from my coat pocket, and I pulled it out to see he'd texted me.

I got detention :/ Won't be out until later.

Stopping in my tracks, I couldn't help but feel tears well in my eyes. I know I'm such a baby, but how did he just get detention moments ago? He couldn't have let me know beforehand? I could have gotten a ride with Elijah or even Bailey or Layla. I could have gotten myself a ride so I didn't have to take the long walk home.

Not that I'd usually mind, but the rain was beginning to hit so hard that I could hear it hit the top of the school, causing a loud echo through the empty hallways.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but it was kind of rude for him to just say it so last minute knowing I had no other way home. Not to mention I was waiting for him, and he knew that.

Not only did I text him multiple times to see if everything was okay, but he also had a few minutes to go from his last class to detention.

So why couldn't he come by and tell me or say something a little earlier?

Now I know that it's bullshit when he says nothing's wrong. Never once has he acted like this, not since the night I met him. Even then, it was only the first thing he's ever said to me. Since then he's been a complete sweetheart, despite everything everyone's said about him.

But now, he's beginning to act like someone I don't know. And it hurts.

I shoved my phone in my pocket, ignoring it when I felt another vibrate. I booked it to a side door closest in the direction I was needing to walk in, stopping right before heading out.

The rain was coming down so hard I could barely see the parking lot, the only thing I was able to make out was the blur of trees in the background. There were already puddles all around the school and on the sidewalk, and a flash of lightning caused me to jump back from my spot at the door.

"Rora?" The sound of someone behind me caught my attention, and I looked back to see Logan standing near a locker. "I didn't think you'd still be here." He added after a few moments of silence, speaking a little louder since the rain was already loud enough.

"I just-" I stopped, motioning behind me at the door. I glanced back at the rain pelting roughly against the glass door, almost afraid it was going to begin hailing.

Since when was the weather supposed to be this bad?

"Looks pretty hectic out there, huh?" Logan asked, stepping closer to me. "You weren't going to walk in that, were you?"

I looked back at him, unable to find my words. I was still fuming from Carter blowing me off the way he had and from the fear of having to walk home in the storm.

Logan seemed to get it, and he nodded. "I can drive you home," He offered. "Last thing I need to hear is you got hurt because you tried to walk that far during a storm."

"It's-" I stopped, seeming to be unable to talk. He wasn't even questioning me about the tears in my eyes or the way I was visibly upset, and instead just ignored it.

Usually, one would think that's rude. But I don't. I'm glad Logan isn't hounding me about why I was beginning to cry, especially because the reason was his own brother.

"I can't let you walk alone in that, Rora." Logan shook his head, "Have you had a chance to check out the auditorium yet? I know we previously talked about it, but if you've nothing to do maybe we can go by there on our way out."

I thought about it, knowing I should say no. I should go home and lock myself in my room just like I did yesterday when Carter began to act distant, but that's not healthy.

I won't let myself get so beat up about what's probably nothing.

"Fine," I agreed softly, clearing my throat.

"Great." He smiled down at me, motioning a hand in the other direction. "It's this way."

It was silent between us as we walked through the empty hallways and toward the auditorium. The only sound that could be heard was my rainboots hitting the tiled floors and the rain hitting the ceiling. Usually, I'd be a little freaked out about how quiet it is in here, but I actually don't mind.

The school seems a lot bigger when there are only a few of us here.

We got to two big double doors, and Logan was quick to open one for me. It was empty in the auditorium, the only light being light on the stage.

It was spotless in here, and I had to be careful to not trip on the steps as Logan led me to the stage. In the middle sat a huge piano, a beautiful black one. It was recently polished, even the seat being recently cleaned.

Everything in here looked so expensive - from the piano to the other instruments around the giant stage. There were also some homemade set pieces littering around the backstage area, yet they were neatly placed despite not being put where they go.

"Like it?" Logan asked after a few moments of silence, and I turned to him to see him standing next to the piano. "I spend a lot of time here."

"Really?" I asked.

He dropped his backpack to the floor on the stage, moving to sit on the piano bench. He motioned to the seat next to him, and I glanced at him for a second before deciding to go with it.

Dropping my backpack onto the stage floor just like he did, I walked over and sat on the other side. 

Our legs brushed together, but I couldn't really move away from him because he was very tall and the piano bench wasn't exactly meant for two people.

"Do you play?" I asked, pointing a finger at the piano.

He nodded, beginning to play some keys. I wouldn't be able to say what they were, as I know little to nothing when it comes to playing instruments.

I've always loved to watch other people play them, as it's a nice talent to have. But I know that even if I were to spend as much time practicing an instrument the way I do my art, I'd still be horrible at it. I'm not good at all at most things unless art counts, but even then I'd like to think my art is pretty mediocre compared to other artwork I've seen in art galleries.

After messing with the keys a bit, Logan began to actually play the piano. I immediately recognized the song to be 'Tiny Dancer' by Elton John - a classic.

"Do you know this song?" He asked, prolonging the introduction.

"Of course? Who doesn't?" I asked sarcastically, my cheeks flushing as he smiled down at me.

"So you'll sing?" He asked, nudging me with his shoulder.

"Oh, n-no." I shook my head, playfully pressing a random key on the piano.

"Beautiful," He said. "You're already a pro!"

"I think you're talking about yourself," I said as I let out a laugh, looking at his hands.

They moved magically, quicker than my eyes could follow. It made me envious that I couldn't do something as talented as this, but also made me appreciate how talented Logan was.

Who knew Logan Jackson was this good at playing piano?

Before I knew it, Logan began to sing. He was singing the words to Tiny Dancer as if he'd been practicing this song long before showing me.

He nudged me with his shoulder once again as he sang the words 'pretty-eyed', causing me to blush.

I know it's wrong to get so flustered at something like this, considering Carter and I are... whatever's going on between us. But both Logan and I agreed to try being out friends, so surely this isn't like a moment between us or anything, right?

Sure, it kind of sounds like something you'd see in a musical movie, but I watch those movies too much and just tend to romanticize everything in my life which can be bad, but I don't think this is meant to be romantic.

I found myself humming along as Logan sang, admiring his voice. He was very talented, and part of me felt bad for assuming he was just like everyone else Paige was friends with.

Back at Point Prep, everyone was using me to get to Paige. I wrongfully assumed with Logan - and everyone else - that they were just using me, but now that Paige and I aren't on talking terms at all it's nice to see he's genuine about his intentions with me. Just like the others in the friend group, and Carter.

Well, Carter counts... right? 

I mean, his intentions have always seemed pure, but now I'm not so sure. Why would he willingly do things he knows will hurt my feelings if he has good intentions?

Why am I starting to second-guess this?

I removed Carter from my thoughts as I focused on Logan, watching as he stole numerous glances at me. He smiled as he sang, singing as if he didn't care we were in the high school auditorium. He sang as if he were auditioning for the most important part of his life, and I was the judge.

But I'm not judging. I think it's amazing, and I even found myself tapping my fingers to my thighs with the beat of the piano.

"Hold me closer tiny dancer," He sang the outro, finishing off with a beautiful sound from the piano. He sang the last few lines quieter and quieter, seeming to realize he was just singing for fun and not like his life depended on it.

As he sang the last few words, it grew quiet in the auditorium. He stopped playing the piano, the silence growing between us as the song finished.

"That was beautiful," I told him softly.

He looked over at me, a smile beginning to grow on his face. "Yeah?" He asked, clearing his throat. "I know it's not like- like popstar material, but I think for the school choir it's alright."

"It's amazing. You're really talented, Logan." I twirled my ring around my finger, ignoring the feeling of the raw skin under the band. "You could- call me crazy but I believe you could get places with talent like that." I tilted my head to the side.

Part of his face was dark due to the stage light, but I could still see him very clearly.

"Sometimes I don't think it's that good," He admitted. "Most people don't ever hear that side of me, they just see - nice, sporty Logan."

"Well I think that singer-pianist Logan is just as cool." I rubbed my palms on my thighs, "Maybe even cooler. But who am I to say? I'm not talented in the music and art department at all."

"You are," He mumbled. "I've heard you sing, remember? You have a soft voice."

"As I said last time, you're only saying that." I scoffed, "Art - not including my paintings and such - is probably my worst talent. Singing, dancing, acting? Probably the worst choice."

"I don't believe that," He said as he shook his head. I watched as he wiped his hands on his jeans, clearing his throat as he glanced away from me for just a second. "It's just the same as you tell me I'm talented." He looked back at me, my cheeks flushing as his eyes were now on me and not the piano.

"Well the difference is you are," I said. "You just played an entire song on the piano by heart and sang along-" Whatever I was in the middle of saying was cut off by the feeling of something against my lips, my hand freezing mid-air as whatever I was thinking left my brain.

Logan's lips were softly pressed to mine, my eyes wide as I realized what was happening. He was kissing me.

He was kissing me?!

Completely frozen in shock, my body wouldn't move. It wouldn't push him away or do anything and instead just stayed still, acting as if that would make something happen.

His lips were soft, the taste of chapstick I couldn't put the name to on his lips. It was perfect, except for one thing; I didn't feel it.

I didn't feel the shock. The electricity, the butterflies. I didn't feel what I felt for Carter when we kissed. 

Oh god, Carter!

I shot back, underestimating how much space was left on the piano bench. My body hit the stage floor with a loud thud as my rainboots squeaked on the wood, scooting back to lift myself up to my feet.

Logan watched with wide eyes as I scrambled to pull myself together, my eyes wide as tears began to cloud my vision.

My hand covered my mouth as I began to shake, feeling as if I'd betrayed Carter.

"Rora, I-"

"I need to go," I shakily said. I avoided eye contact with Logan as I pulled my backpack up off of the ground, throwing it on my back.

I exited the auditorium the same way Logan had brought me through, my body moving faster than my mind could.

Pulling the hoodie of my raincoat over my head, I didn't hesitate to run out of the side door this time. The sooner I get home the better, and at this point, I don't care whether I have to run the whole way during a storm or even if it decides to calm down.

With my luck, it didn't. If anything, the rain got worse. I squinted as I ran through the parking lot, ignoring the fact that I was trampling through puddle after puddle. My clothes were already soaked, and no matter how much I pulled my hood over my head it just fell all over again.

My mind raced as I powered through the storm in the direction of my house. Between Logan and Carter, my feelings, and how it feels kissing Logan compared to kissing Carter. Everything, everyone. I'm overwhelmed, and I couldn't differentiate the tears from the rain.

Stopping in my tracks, I pressed my hands to my knees as I took deep breaths. The rain hit me hard, but I felt numb. It felt a little... refreshing, considering I was hot and overstimulated.

My fingers pressed to my eyes to prevent rain from hitting them, my thoughts all over the place.

I'm so angry at Carter, but I now know for sure that I don't want anyone else but him. I don't feel anything with anyone the way I felt with him. I'm grateful he's the first person I've ever been into with as many feelings as I do because even with Asher it wasn't this intense.

I want to call him. I want to tell him that I care so deeply about him, that I might even be on the verge of dare I say, loving him. I don't know what love is. I only ever see it in my movies.

I wouldn't even say my parents loved each other. They for sure admire each other, but I've seen true love and it's not what they have. I don't want anything like that. They have something Paige would want. Money, kids, and someone to grow old with.

Me? I want more. I want Carter. I want someone who loves me and cares for me just as much as I do them.

I don't want Logan. I don't want anyone else. I want Carter and it kills me he's acting so wishy-washy because now I'm unsure where to go from here.

My steps were slow. I was drenched in rain, and I'm thankful the backpack I got had really good insulation. It'll still probably get a little wet on the inside due to how badly it's raining on top of the fact I've been splashing around puddles trying to run home, but they won't be as bad as they would be had I bought a cheap ten dollar backpack.

Headlights glaring from behind me caught my attention, and I stopped to look and see who it was. As soon as I saw the familiar black car pulling up in my direction, I frowned.

All the anger came back to me, and I wanted nothing more than to run away. Just as I had from Logan.

Maybe I'm not as ready to tell Carter how I feel like I thought I was...

"Rory get in the car," Carter said. His window was rolled down, his eyes squinted as he avoided getting hit with rain.

"No," I muttered without thinking. My feelings are too all over the place to sit in a car with him, but at the same time, it is raining really badly.

"Rory, please." He begged, "You're still a good distance away from home, let me take you."

"No," I said again, crossing my arms. "No." I shook my head.

Carter sighed, putting the car in park. He opened the door and my eyes widened as I watched him get out of the cover of his car and into the rain, stopping in front of me. "Rory, please." He said again.

He was already growing soaked, and I just stood in silence. I really did want to get under shelter, but I couldn't move. I pressed my fingers to my lips as I looked at his, the water dripping off from the rain. All I could remember was how Logan kissed me, causing my feelings of being sure coming back.

Why am I so back and forth? I'm just as bad as Carter at this point.

Carter pulled my backpack from my back, throwing it in the backseat of the car. I let him, standing still in my spot. He then grabbed my hands, his a lot warmer than mine were.

He pulled me around the front of the car and opened the passenger door as I let tears begin to fall, feelings of anger and sadness filling my body as I realized what had happened.

Did I cheat on Carter? Technically yes, technically no?

Carter shut the door before running over to his side, not wasting any time getting in and speeding off. He was a lot more careful than usual as he drove to my house, causing what would normally be a ten-minute ride to be almost twenty.

It was silent between us, just as it usually has been lately. The only sounds in the car were the sounds of the heavy rain hitting the windshield, causing my cries to come out all ugly and muffled.

When he pulled up to my house he parked in the driveway. There were no cars there, which I wasn't surprised. My parents were at work just like they usually are, and Jason was either in his room or somewhere after school with his friends.

Carter pulled my backpack out of the back before coming around to my side, opening the door for me. He waited patiently in the rain as I took my time getting out, almost too frozen to move myself.

He was patient as I dug around the back of my backpack for my house key, and when I struggled to get the key in the keyhole.

I could feel his eyes on me. He watched as I pulled the key out, as I unlocked the door, and as I let us into the dark and empty house. He watched as I headed straight for the stairs, not caring that I was getting rainwater everywhere.

I know my mom will be upset, but I'm far too upset myself to care about a little water.

He followed quietly as I walked into my room, getting water everywhere. I stood in the middle of the room as he put my backpack in the bathroom on the floor to avoid getting too much water on my carpet, my body still as I didn't bother removing my coat.

"What's going on?" He asked softly, running a hand through his messy hair.

"I-I kissed Logan," I rambled, scratching at my wet hand. "Well, h-he kissed me and-"

"What?" Carter asked, cutting me off. He sounded angry, but I wasn't sure if he was angry at me or at whatever he's been dealing with lately.

"L-Logan- he offered to bring me home," I started. "We were in the auditorium and he sang a song and in the middle of me talking he kissed me and-and I didn't feel anything, Carter. I didn't kiss him back. I left."

"Okay," He said.

"I-I don't know what's going on with you Carter, but it's killing me." I cried. My cheeks were swollen and puffy from crying, and I know I looked like a mess. My hair was all wet and gross, and my mascara was probably running down my cheeks at this point.

I won't be surprised if I cried so much that it's all gone, but I doubt it. I probably look like a raccoon right now.

Carter stayed silent, causing me to continue. "I don't know what I did. I don't know w-what I did to make you go from liking me one second to s-seeming to not want to be around me. But I hate it." I shook my head, ridding myself of the raincoat.

I threw it to the floor, which Carter's eyes followed. "I've been dying these last few days w-wondering what drove you away - is it-is it the same thing that drives everyone else away?" I asked, causing his eyes to snap back up to mine.

"Rory-"

"No, let me finish." I stopped him, holding a hand out. "I let you in. I-I trusted-trust you. I think. I think about you all day and night and I've never felt this way for anyone the way I feel for you. Not Asher, not Logan, not any boy I've ever come in contact with."

"Rory, please don't-"

"I've been denying it for a long time now, but I don't think I can anymore. Logan kissing me- he made me realize I- Carter I think I love you." I spoke before I could think, covering my mouth with my hands afterward.

Word vomit's a bitch.

"I don't think. I know. Carter, I love you," I said after he didn't say anything. He had tears in his eyes at this point, only causing me to cry more. "Love is a strong feeling, but I feel it. Fuck everyone fuck what they think." I shook my head again, "I love you for who you are not who everyone else expects you to be."

"Rory, you don't." He shook his head.

I stopped, looking at him with wide eyes. "W-what?" I asked as I began to feel a huge pressure building in my chest.

"You don't love me," He said again. "You don't know what love is."

"I do," I argued. "I've been denying it for weeks to be sure, you can't just tell me I don't feel the way I do."

"But you don't, Ror." He mumbled. A tear fell down his cheek as he blinked, and he cleared his throat and he wiped it away with the back of his hand. "We're not even dating, how could you know you love me?"

"How dare you?" I asked angrily, "How d-dare you sit and spend weeks upon weeks upon weeks making me feel like I matter - like I'm more than Paige's puppet! Just to make me fall in love with you then you turn around and tell me that I don't even know what love is. You can't tell me how to feel! I feel what I feel and you can't say otherwise."

"Rory we didn't even make it official, you know nothing about me." He softly said, "I didn't want to hurt you, I-"

"You what, Carter? You just expected me to go along with-" I stopped, waving my hands around angrily. "Whatever this is? The kisses, and the sleepovers, and the- the small praises? You expected me to just go along with it and not know h-how I feel? To be okay with this?"

"Rory-"

"No!" I snapped, my hands clenching at my sides. "You can't sit here and say there's nothing going on between us, I refuse to accept it! You reached out to me, you're the one that started this mess!" I screamed.

My feelings are worse than they were only moments before, and I can't help but feel even angrier at Carter than I've ever felt.

"I ignored everything! The stares, the rumors, the things Paige said. I ignored it all! Because you showed me this soft person I'd never met before. You're the first person to openly care about me and now you're saying not- none of it's real?!" I continued to scream at him, my throat burning. "Why would you do this?" The last part came out soft, my heart breaking with each and every second that passes.

"Aurora, I-" He stopped, taking in a deep breath. "I don't believe in love." He admitted, "Love's not real. I never thought it was."

"Why pursue me knowing how I feel about romance if you don't believe in that shit?" I asked. "What you like me one day and just turned your feeling-feelings off like that? I refuse to believe this was all a lie. The-the painting, the - drive-in, all of it!"

Carter rubbed his face with his hands, wiping away any tears that threatened to fall. As he pulled his hands away from his face that same bored expression he wore when I first met him was back on, the emotional boy I knew only a ghost now.

"I hate you," I breathed. "Get out. I never want to see you again."

"Rory-"

"Don't call me that." I spat, "Only my friends call me that."

"Please, just- I didn't want to hurt you." He quickly added in, holding a hand out to grab mine.

I shot back, almost tripping over my feet as I stayed away from his grip. "Get the fuck out, Carter!" My fists clenched again. "Out! Now!"

"Rory, please-"

"Out! Out! Out!" I screamed, pushing at his chest. "I never want to see you again. I hate you!"

"You don't mean that," He breathed out.

"Yes, I do. I hate you Carter, now leave my life just like you swore you wouldn't." I spat, crossing my arms over my chest. "I hate you with every fiber of my being and I never want you around me again."

The corner of Carter's mouth twitched before his jaw clenched and his fists balled up at his sides. He looked angry, but then again so am I.

He turned and left without saying another word. I heard his heavy footsteps go down the stairs, the front door slamming shortly after.

As soon as I heard his car speed off down the street, my knees buckled and I fell to the ground. Tears fell as I began to sob, not caring I hadn't even bothered changing out of my wet clothes.

Everything hurts. My head, my chest, specifically my heart. I've felt rejection before, but nothing like this. Nothing could've prepared me for this type of heartbreak, even though I've spent most of my life getting rejected by everyone around me.

I curled into a ball and held my legs tightly, sobbing into my knees. I lay on the floor like a child throwing a tantrum, my head hurting as I struggled to breathe.

"Aurora?" I heard from the door, but I didn't stop crying.

I don't care whether it's my mother or father. I don't care if I have to eventually explain to my mom why she was right about Carter, and about how I just got my heart broken.

"Rora," The person said again.

"I just want it to stop," I cried, "I-I just want it a-all to end. Please just go a-away."

I felt someone sit on the ground by my head, and it wasn't long before I felt a hand move my wet hair from my face. My vision was still blurry, but I recognized the thick black-framed glasses.

Jason sat next to my head, wiping away at my cheeks. "Please stop crying," He softly said.

"I c-can't." I shook my head, "It hurts."

"What hurts?" He asked, "Carter?"

At the simple mention of his name, I began to cry harder. Just that alone was enough to break me more. 

"H-He promised," I sobbed, my knees slipping from my hands. I was too weak to even hold myself together at this point, despite that being what I was used to doing. "H-He left. E-everyone l-leaves."

"I won't leave," Jason softly told me. He sat back on the floor and began to pull at my body, "Please don't think I'll leave too." He added as he finally managed to pull me to him.

"Why d-does e-everyone h-hate me?" I asked, my head pounding.

"We don't, I don't." Jason sniffled, "You're my favorite sister, Rora."

"Y-you're only s-saying that cause y-you have to." I cried.

"No, I'm not. I'm not mom and I'll never be her." He mumbled.

Something wet hit my cheek, and I looked up through blurred vision to see Jason's teary eyes. He'd ditched his glasses, his brown eyes glossy as he looked down at me with sadness.

This gave me enough strength to pull me out of my sob-fest, my body shooting up as I realized what was happening.

I was making my brother cry by letting him see me this way. I left the bedroom door open so he was able to walk up and see this, and now he thinks he needs to be here.

"Why are you c-crying?" I asked, my brows pushing together.

"I don't like seeing you cry, I've never seen you this way." He said. "I-I thought it was bad when you'd fight with mom but you closed yourself off. You're always so sad and I don't get why."

"I hope y-you never experience it." I shook my head, wiping my cheeks.

"I won't tell mom about what happened with Carter," He said as he wiped his cheeks again. "But do you really hate him?"

I opened my mouth to say something but failed, my lip trembling as I replayed the argument in my head again. "I love him more than anything," I admitted, more tears falling as I admitted something so embarrassing.

"He doesn't deserve you or your kindness, Rora." Jason shook his head, "He was mean to you, and just like with everyone else you put him before yourself."

"You don't know what you're talking about, you're only twelve," I said. I pulled away from his embrace completely, frowning as I saw the giant wet spot on the floor. "Mom's going to kill me."

"Almost thirteen," He corrected. 

"Still, you're too young to know this heartbreak." I leaned my head against the foot of my bed, shutting my eyes as I felt them fill with tears again.

"So are you," He said. "Don't let one dumb boy determine what love's like for you."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I asked, looking over at him.

"Why wouldn't I?" He asked in response. I watched as he wiped his glasses off before putting them back on. "I heard that whole thing, Rora. I came to make sure it was you that walked in, and saw the whole thing."

"I should've been more considerate of the fact someone could've been here." I turned in my spot. I leaned my back against the bed, pulling my knees to my chest. "I'm tired of being the-the person who gets hurt all the time."

Jason crawled over next to me, mirroring the way that I sat. Despite being only almost thirteen, he was getting to be taller. He was around that age, so he was getting to the point where he looked older than he is. This means he's almost as tall as me, especially since I got my mother's height.

"Then stop," He said simply.

Ah, there's the twelve-almost-thirteen-year-old wisdom he's been missing.

I scoffed, leaning my head back to stare at the ceiling. "Easier said than done."

"Seriously, Rora. Don't let some stupid boy get to you. Love is dumb anyway." He shrugged, "I'll die before I let a girl treat me like that."

I looked over at him, smiling slightly. "I'm glad," I whispered softly.

"Nor would I ever treat a girl like that. All my respect for Carter just kinda flew out the door. What an asshole." He stood from his spot, wiping his pants off.

"Jason!" I exclaimed.

"Just saying, he gave me some tips to defend myself if I were to get physically bullied. Want me to beat him up?" He offered his hand out.

I scoffed again as I took it, letting him pull me to stand up. Before I could readjust the way my wet clothes sat on my body Jason stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my torso, hugging me tightly.

"I care about you a lot, Rora. Please don't think nobody loves you."

It's weird to see this sudden sweet side of Jason. We've never really been close at all, especially because of how well my mom treats him compared to me.

"Why are you being so caring all of a sudden? When I cried about Asher and you saw me you didn't care. And you weren't much younger than you are now." I mumbled but hugged him back anyway.

"Our school did a thing about mental health." He pulled away, pulling at his now wet shirt. "I just noticed that a lot of people who are treated the way you are have pretty bad mental health that declines. People in my grade don't take it seriously, but I guess having a sibling who has the signs changes things."

My brows pushed together as he readjusted his glasses, his nose scrunching as he did so. It was a cute little habit he had, one I found myself doing when I actually bothered wearing mine. Of course, mine are only reading glasses whereas his are ones he needs all the time, so he does it a lot more than I do.

Hearing Jason talk so... smartly is different. Maybe Riverway Middle School is a lot better than the school he went to at Point Prep because he definitely wasn't talking like this before.

He almost seemed older, honestly. Wiser. Whatever classes he's taking are definitely working.

Can't say the same for me.

"Are you okay?" He asked after I didn't respond.

"No," I told him.

"No, I know I mean- are you going to be good if I go back downstairs?" He asked, looking around the room worriedly.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Okay. I'm downstairs, okay? Just- I don't know, come down there if you need me. But knock!" He exclaimed as he stepped back. "And please take a bath, you smell like outside."

There's the usual little brother I'm used to.

++

Broke my own heart while writing this, OOPS

* This chapter is not edited *