- Must Be Love; Niall Horan -

Aurora Holland

"Thank you for everything, Rory," Katherine told me, grabbing her bags as she slipped out of the car. "I don't know what I would've done without you."

"Don't mention it," I said politely, smiling at her. "I just did for you what I'd want someone to do for me."

"Well," She stopped for a second, looking through the passenger side at Carter. "If he ends up asking you and you need some help, let me know." She whispered, my cheeks immediately heating up at her words.

I nodded as I twirled my ring around my finger, feeling awkward. I know Carter won't end up asking me the way she implied, but just the thought that he ever would was enough to make my stomach flip.

She waved one last time before hauling her bags to the door. I made sure she got inside before getting back in the car, leaving Carter and me alone.

I was a little sad that Katherine ended up not staying the night, but once she explained she had never had a sleepover before, I understood she just wasn't ready. I would want someone to be patient with me, and Katherine already did a lot for herself today by saying yes to Elijah and shopping for a dress.

Carter and I never got to finish our conversation about the party, but the more time went by, the more I realized it was stupid to even try to tell him anything in the first place. It's no importance to him whether I've had my first kiss or not, especially since we're not kissing each other. He wouldn't care, and I just need to get out of my little fantasy world for a second and realize that.

"Think your mom will let me up to your room?" Carter asked, breaking the silence.

"Definitely not," I immediately told him, knowing he already knew the answer.

"Worth a shot," He smugly told me, his eyes focused on the road.

It was getting close to my curfew, and I was exhausted. I'm used to doing these types of things with Paige, but usually, I'm even more worn out than I am right now as Paige insists we go to every single shop possible. Today, we only went to the ones we were either interested in or needed to go to.

Carter didn't even seem to mind that we took our time, which made me feel better about him having to take us. At first, I felt really bad despite the fact that he immediately said yes, but knowing he actually engaged in conversation and what we were doing made me feel much better.

The drive from Katherine's house to my house was short. As Carter pulled up, I saw that both of my parents' cars were in the driveway, and none of the lights in the house were on. This meant they called it an early night, probably due to the hours they were working.

"Well, I guess I'll see you Monday." I cleared my throat, realizing neither of us had said anything.

"Would you want to do something tomorrow?" Carter asked, and I looked over at him in confusion. "It doesn't have to be like a date or- or anything." He quickly added, his eyes nervously bouncing from me to his lap. "Or it can, I don't know."

I just looked at him at first, my mind running in thoughts. "Carter... are you asking me out on a date?" I spoke without thinking, immediately regretting it.

No boy has ever asked me on a date before, so I don't know why I assumed he was.

"Yes," He quickly said, causing me to take any thoughts from before away. "I've never--" He stopped, seeming to be having trouble finding his words. "I haven't been on a date in a really long time, so I'm not very good at this."

"Yes," I said, copying his response. "I mean, sure," I added after realizing how desperate I sounded, my cheeks burning up despite it being dark outside.

"Okay," He said, "Great. I'll be here to pick you up at seven."

I nodded, grabbing on the door handle. As it opened up, the inside of the car was illuminated with dim lighting. I could see his face much better, and from what I could tell his cheeks were pink. They probably weren't any pinker than mine, as mine felt like I had the worst sunburn ever, but it was rare to see his cheeks that tint of pink.

Slipping out of the car, I reached down to grab my belongings from the floorboard. I stood up straight after, the late-night wind blowing through my hair. This caused it to blow in front of my face, so I tied it back with the hair tie I usually kept on my left wrist.

Just as I was about to shut the car door, Carter leaned across the seats and stopped me. "I'll call you when I get home, okay?" He asked softly, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Sure."

"Goodnight, Rory." He then said, to which I responded with a voice just as soft.

After finally shutting the door, I slowly made my way up to the house. I turned and looked back to see him watching for me to get in, and I felt slight embarrassment as I took my time going inside.

The door was unlocked, and I sent Carter one last wave before shutting the front door completely and locking it. It was silent in the house, which was usual when Jason was gone or asleep.

My parents were nowhere to be seen, and it made me happy as I didn't want to deal with either of them tonight. As soon as I made it up to my room, I shut and locked my door.

Now that I'm alone, I can officially freak out about this date with Carter. I wanted to call someone, but can't as Carter said he's going to call me when he gets home. This means I'm on my own, and I need to get my nervousness out before Carter calls me.

Like I said, he always knows when I'm nervous. And although he does whatever he can to make me feel better, it doesn't change the fact that I hate how he can tell how I feel.

I quickly changed into pajamas, putting something quiet on my TV. I plugged my phone into the charger as I waited, staring down at my comforter as I thought about tomorrow.

It was supposed to be a regular Sunday, nothing big. No parties, no hanging out with anyone, nothing important. No work events, no homework, nothing to do but spend it by myself in my room.

Now, I'm going to have to mentally prepare to go on my very first date. I've never been on one, not even a pity one Paige tried to set me up with. What does he expect? What do I expect?

What's supposed to happen? Do we kiss? Hug?

My mind's jumbled, all because of the simple question Carter asked me. No matter how much I sit and tell myself that it's just a friendly date, or whatever it may be, I can't stop overthinking it.

Oh my god, is a friend date? Did I take it the wrong way? What if he's just saying it's a date but it's not like a date-date? What if--

My phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts, and I was more than thankful. I can't stop thinking about what's yet to come, and I'm scared if I think about it too much I'll fuck it up like I usually do.

I slid my thumb over the bottom of the screen, a smile covering my features as I lay back in bed. "Hello?"

"I was worried you'd fall asleep before I could call," Carter said immediately, causing my smile to grow bigger as I cuddled further into my blankets.

"I wasn't that tired," I said, glancing around my room as I spoke. It was dark, the only light coming from the TV. Just how I liked it when I fell asleep.

"I wouldn't have been mad," He then said anyway, despite me telling him I wasn't tired. "I just wanted to hear your voice is all."

His voice was soft when he said things like that. I wasn't used to hearing Carter say anything remotely close to things that make my stomach flutter like this, considering when I met him he was very rude and blunt. Plus, apparently, he's not like this with anyone else. Nobody else has supposedly seen this side of Carter Jackson, not even his ex-girlfriend Ashley. Of course, I don't know how true this is, and I hate that I get so happy knowing he's not like this with anyone else.

Usually, I never get any attention like this. Knowing I'm getting it from Carter from all people just does something to me, and makes me feel things I probably shouldn't feel.

"Did you fall asleep on me already, Sleeping Beauty?" Carter then asked, causing me to remember he was on the phone with me.

"No, I'm sorry." I apologized, my cheeks burning up despite the fact that he couldn't see me.

"Don't say sorry, I won't mind if you do." Just by the tone of his voice, I could practically hear the smile as he spoke. Is that weird?

"Just thinking is all," I said, mostly that way he didn't think I fell asleep on him. I'm constantly falling asleep, and I hate it considering I want to talk to him more. I love talking to him on the phone, asking each other stupid mindless questions that pop up in our heads.

I just ruin it by falling asleep, sometimes almost instantly or before we can talk at all. It prevents us from getting to know each other more, and although he tells me it's fine, I feel like it isn't because it's time away from each other.

I'm so head over heels, I want to vomit.

Plus, I've never done these things with anyone before, and it's much better than Paige ever made it seem. She made it seem like it was nothing, but to me, it feels like it was everything. I want to take advantage of these moments before it turns into nothing because that's what usually happens with any type of guy I think I have a chance with.

"You've been in your head a lot, Rory," Carter said, "Are you sure everything's okay?"

"I'm just--" I stopped, trying to think of how to say what I want without sounding stupid. "I'm just thinking about everything that's changed since I've moved here."

"Like what?"

"I never had any friends at Point Prep," I told him, my chest hurting at the thought of how life used to be before moving here. "At least nobody except for Paige."

Carter didn't say anything, but he probably didn't know what to say. I wouldn't either, if I was the most popular guy at my high school and some weirdo told me she never had friends before.

"I see," He finally said, a way of telling me he was still on the phone. "Friends aren't always all that."

"I guess," I replied. "But ever since I've made friends, I actually feel happy."

"You weren't happy before?" He asked.

"No, not really. All I did was follow Paige around and do whatever she says. I got my heart broken by everyone who said rude things to me, and by a boy who didn't care for me the way I wanted him to. Is that selfish?" I asked, picking at my nail beds.

"Of course it's not, baby," Carter murmured.

"It feels like it," I said. "I expected it to be like some stupid romance movie, but it ended up being like the opposite. That's why Paige always tells me I shouldn't watch those, they give me too much thought into what love is about when it's nothing like them."

"What happened?" He asked.

"I want to tell you, but I've never talked about it with anyone. No family members, not even Paige." I cleared my throat, sitting up in my bed. It was true, despite Paige knowing about the situation, I've never really actually opened up about it.

Maybe that's why I have a hard time trusting Paige, not including what's happened since I moved to Riverway. We never had closure of anything that happened, I just up and acted like nothing happened one day which definitely isn't healthy in the slightest.

"Is it super bad?" He asked, and I heard a bit of shuffling on the other side of the phone for a second.

"To me, yes. Not to anyone else involved, I guess." I mumbled, looking at my lap. Just thinking about it was enough to get the waterworks going, and I cleared my throat again to try and prevent myself from crying. "Because I've never really talked about it, I guess I don't really know whether it's really bad or not. At least to anyone else. The only thing I've done is written in my journal, but that's really important to me and nobody ever reads it."

There was a bit more shuffling before Carter responded. "If it's big to you, then it's big. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks."

"You say that, but you have no idea what happened," I said. It's the truth, I'm sure if I tell Carter what happened, then he'll just think I'm overreacting like everyone else thinks when I'm upset.

"You're right, I don't. And I can almost guarantee that I'll agree with you," He said. "Even then, in the off chance that I don't, it doesn't matter. My opinion doesn't matter especially because I wasn't part of whatever happened."

I stayed silent, not sure of what to say. It seemed like Carter wasn't going to change his mind and realize that I'm just a crybaby that overreacts about everything. That's how everyone's made me feel my entire life, so I don't understand how Carter would think anything different.

As Paige and my mother always tell me, life is nothing like those stupid romance movies.

"Yeah," I finally said, realizing I was silent for a long time. He didn't say anything the way he usually did, and I just stared at my comforter in silence. It wasn't awkward, but it wasn't the best type of silence.

"So why don't you--" Carter went mute for a second, and I looked at my phone screen to see if he'd hung up on accident. I soon realized he didn't, and quickly put my phone back to my ear. "Why don't you do something for me, yeah?"

"What's that?" I asked. It was silent for a few moments longer, and I just waited patiently for him to answer.

"Come to your bedroom window and let me in so you can tell me about what happened at Point Prep?" He asked, and I felt my heart begin to hammer in my chest at the words. 

My window? He was here? Was that why it was silent?

Realizing he said what I heard, I jumped out of my bed quickly. I'd tripped over the comforter but quickly caught my footing, racing to the other end of my room where the window was. I pulled the blue curtain aside before lifting the blinds, my heart beating a lot harder as I saw him standing outside of my window.

My eyes widened as he was actually standing outside my window, and it wasn't long before I realized he was outside in the cold air waiting for me to let him in. My fingers fumbled with the lock on my window, quickly pulling it up as Carter began to climb through.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, watching as he landed on both of his feet. He stood up straight and smiled down at me, the same smile that gave me millions of butterflies.

"Well, we were having a serious talk and it didn't seem fitting to be said over the phone." He shrugged, "Plus, how am I going to hold you when you cry if we're just talking on the phone?"

Ignoring the comment about holding me, I took another glance at the window. "Carter, if my mom or dad sees your car outside--"

"They won't." He was quick to cut me off. "I parked down the street and walked here."

I rubbed my face, confused about the entire situation. He just dropped me off, yet he dropped whatever it was he was doing to come back here? Why?

"Is that okay?" He then asked, grabbing my hands from my face. "I'll leave if you want me to."

"No!" I quickly exclaimed, before realizing how desperate I sounded. "I-I'm just worried to get caught is all."

"You've hidden Logan in here, right?" He asked, rubbing his thumbs along my palms gently.

"For like ten minutes max," I said. "Plus my dad wasn't here."

"Rory, I parked down the street, okay? They won't catch me in here unless you let them. But I can leave if it's an issue." He pulled away, beginning to make his way out of the window.

Without thinking, I reached out and grabbed his arm. I yanked it back, causing his body to bump into mine abruptly. "Well, hello there," He smiled down at me cheekily, the dimple in his cheek popping out.

My face flushed as I pulled away, stepping back and putting distance between us. "Just stay quiet, okay?"

He made a motion across his lips as if he were zipping them shut, throwing the imaginary key afterward. I walked back over to my messed up bed as he locked the window and shut the curtains, my eyes repeatedly glancing over at him as he did so.

"So tell me, baby," Carter started as he walked over to my bed, laying down across the end of it. He looked cute, laying on his side much like the way he did when I stayed the night at his house. "What happened at Point Prep?"

"A lot," I vaguely answered, beating around the bush for some reason. Now that he was here in person, despite him being an easy person to talk to -- this was much harder. Over the phone, I was able to say things simply because he couldn't see my facial expressions.

Now, in person, he can see everything. My movements, tears, expressions, all of it. And there's no hiding from Carter, especially when he's sitting directly in front of me.

"Well, I know." He nodded, understanding. "But I mean the really bad thing with the boy."

"Right, Asher," I confirmed, clearing my throat. 

"I've heard that name before," He said, his brows pressing together in thought.

"Paige yelled some things out about him at the party," I said.

"No, I didn't hear much about that." He shook his head, "You said something about him to me."

"I did?" I asked, before remembering the night I got drunk. I opened up to him and completely forgot about it up until now, meaning I didn't keep it to myself much like I thought I had. "Right. When I said seeing you and Paige together made me think of Asher."

"Asher's the boy you mentioned over the phone, yeah?" He asked, and I nodded. "You really opened up to me about him that night."

I tried to go through my brain of the conversation I had with Carter the night I got drunk, but by now most of it was a blur. I knew Paige had aired my secrets out for all of our friends to hear, and I remembered mentioning Asher to Carter, but I completely forgot that I said more than just one thing about him.

"You mentioned that you shouldn't have been hurt that night, I should've connected the dots sooner when you began talking about an unknown boy." Carter laid on his back, looking to the side so he could look at me. "You also said you didn't want to go through it again, that you didn't wanna relive it."

"I don't," I said quickly, looking to the side. "I'm just dramatic, so me being drunk was probably even more dramatic than I usually am."

"Doesn't matter, what you said was how you felt, doesn't matter whether you were drunk or not." He immediately said. He moved his hand toward me, grabbing my hand gently. "Tell me, baby. What happened?"

My stomach was on overload with butterflies, from Carter's nickname for me to the touching. It was almost too much to handle, but I ignored the flutters as I focused on the topic at hand.

"I thought I was in love with someone close to our family." I admitted, "I don't know what love is, minus what I see on TV. I just hadn't felt anything like that till then, so since I was a hopeless romantic I just assumed it was love. Asher's little brother is best friends with my little brother. He's a year older than us, meaning he's a freshman in college right now."

Carter didn't say anything, and instead just gently rubbed circles around my palm with his thumb. He watched me as I spoke, only making me more nervous.

"I knew I didn't have a chance, I never do." I shook my head as my chest began to burn. "But Paige put these thoughts in my head--" I stopped quickly, pulling my hand from Carter's. I needed a second, so I took in a shaky breath as I thought about what to say next.

"Take your time," He murmured, but I just shook my head in response.

"When Paige began saying things to me, I began to believe them. I've never experienced anything like that. I thought I had a chance after a while because I fed into the delusional lies Paige told me. I tried to be more open with him and I thought he actually had feelings for me but he didn't." I said, "She continued to support it, despite me knowing deep down there was no chance. He even made me think something might happen. He'd flirt, or at least I took it as flirting." I moved my hands around, feeling fidgety. "But he wasn't into me. He was entertaining the idea. He didn't notice me, he only knew who I was because I'm Jason's loser of a sister." I cleared my throat again. "Man, it's kinda hot in here. isn't it?"

"Here--" Carter stopped for a second, standing from the bed. I watched as he walked over and turned my ceiling fan on, sitting in front of me on the bed after slipping his shoes off. "It's okay, okay? I'm not going to judge."

"Right, yeah." I nodded, knowing I was just overreacting. "Anyways. He entertained it, and Paige continued to push for me to try things and do things to get him to like me. I did everything she said, and one day--" My vision blurred, and I wiped quickly at my eyes. "I walked in on Paige and Asher almost having sex." I let it all out without another breath, my chest hurting as if I were reliving it all over again.

Obviously, I'm over Asher now. But it doesn't change the fact that it happened and it hurt.

"I'm stupid for ever thinking I had a chance," I said, not letting Carter speak. "I'm stupid and emotional and we weren't even dating and I know that but--"

"It's the fact that Paige and Asher both entertained it when they were seeing each other on the side," Carter finished, his brows pushed together.

I nodded, breathing heavily. "I've never told anyone and maybe it's stupid I haven't, but do you know how embarrassing that is? To be thinking you have a chance with someone then you turn around and they're fucking your cousin? She could have any guy she wants, she could be with anyone, why the one person she knew I was wanting?"

"It's not stupid, your feelings are valid." Carter shook his head, "You're right, you weren't dating, and he didn't even like you. But it's different because he entertained it knowing your feelings, and Paige knew how you feel and pushed it then turned around and did something so shitty."

"You don't think I'm overreacting?" I asked, fiddling with my fingers. "Because we weren't even together--"

"What? Of course not." Carter shook his head, grabbing my hand in his. "You didn't react enough. The fact you let it go without resolving it and pushed it all deep down instead of telling Paige how you truly felt? That's not enough reaction."

"Every time something happens between us, she assumes it's about Asher. When I tried to tell her she was in over her head about her crush on you, she just assumed I was jealous and it was about Asher. When it wasn't. I can accept that he doesn't like me, I've had plenty of people not like me in my life, it's the fact that she does things like that, and when I-I get embarrassed she says I can't blame anyone but- but myself." I mumbled, my words not making much sense since I was speaking quickly.

"Hey," Carter said quietly, scooting closer to me. "Paige is a piece of shit, okay? I know she's your cousin, but she's not a friend. In my book, she's just as bad as your mom."

"My mom's not--"

"Your mom's bad, baby." Carter murmured as he cut me off, "She's your mom, I get it, but moms don't hit their kids."

My mouth stayed shut, as I didn't know how to respond. I wiped a tear from my cheek as I nodded, agreeing with him. I didn't know what to say, I didn't expect him to actually agree with anything I told him. It wasn't your typical breakup story, Asher didn't physically do anything to me, it was stupid and insignificant compared to other things I've seen people go through.

To hold something inside for so long like it's something huge, but in reality, it isn't. It just hurts considering Paige knows the type of person I am, and the fact she did something to me. If she didn't push Asher and me the way she tried to with me and Logan, then I wouldn't have cared as much. It's the fact she forced ideas into my head that she knew all along wouldn't work.

"Let's lay down, okay?" Carter asked, softly. "It's been a long day and you're tired I can tell."

I nodded, agreeing with him. I was too afraid to say anything as I've already held it together enough, I don't want to ruin it all by breaking down now. Instead, I just shoved myself under the covers.

Carter pulled the covers up once I was under, sliding in next to me. I didn't question whether he was staying the whole night or if he was just staying until I fell asleep, but I wouldn't mind either way.

His arms wrapped around my torso, pulling my back into his chest tightly. It felt nice, despite me feeling hot only moments earlier. I'd finally cooled down, and Carter's body warmth felt nice against my skin.

My head lay on the pillow, and I felt Carter slowly rub my right arm with his fingertips. It felt nice, causing me to feel much sleepier than I had only moments ago.

It wasn't long before I was unable to stay awake, my thoughts drifting away as I fell into a deep sleep.

++

What do you think of the Asher/Paige drama?

ALSO I've just posted the sequel to my favorite story I've ever written, WILB! It's over on my other account -JUPITERSMELODY and I would greatly appreciate it if you could apply! I'm leaving it open for a while, and there's a lot to it, but I'm genuinely so excited for that story. Please check it out!!

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