- Just Friends; Why Don't We -
- Bloom; Troye Sivan - 
- Personal; The Vamps ft. Maggie Lindemann - 
- Gotta Be You; One Direction -

Aurora Holland

I made sure everything in my room was organized. I'd gotten ready for the party early, after having texted Paige and saying I didn't want her to come over today. This was the first time she hadn't dolled me up for something like this, leaving me on my own to get ready.

My outfit was simple -- just a pair of blue jeans, a black cropped tank top, and a black high-top Converse. I had a creme-colored over jacket, but I know I'll end up getting hot and ditching it at some point.

My makeup ended up being somewhat simple as well, with just concealer, light eyeshadow, highlighter, and mascara. It was the best I could do, and I knew if I attempted to do anything intricate the way Paige usually does I'll end up looking stupid.

And the last thing I want to do is look stupid in front of Carter.

Maybe I'm stupid, but I'm letting this crush get to me. After last night when I swore I wasn't going to let it happen, I'm not able to help it. I've never been as intimate with anyone as I have him, which says a lot considering we only cuddled.

We only cuddled.

God, just that thought alone was enough to make my cheeks burn with a blush. I covered my hands over my cheeks as if there were other people in the room, embarrassed I'm letting something so simple affect me so greatly.

Now that I've come to the realization that I'm crushing on someone who's completely out of my league, I want nothing more than to do something about it. Despite having thought I was in love with Asher in the way that I was, I never once acted out on it. I was far too afraid due to the fear of rejection, and although I'm still petrified that Carter's going to reject me, I can't help but want to impress him.

The way I felt when I woke up and I felt his hand rubbing my back, I wanted more. I've never felt anything like that before, the extent of affection I'd gotten only been what Elijah's been giving me -- which isn't a lot on top of the fact that it's strictly all friendly.

I know that I'm stupid for thinking the way I do, but it's hard when I haven't experienced much. I've only witnessed things on Television, or what I've seen Paige go through. I can't help it that now that I realize what I do, I've found myself falling harder and faster each and every second I'm around him.

I know I should turn the other way, considering this was Carter Jackson we were talking about. This was someone who has such a mysterious personality and is always off doing his own thing, not caring about what others thought. He's the absolute opposite of me, and I know that should be more than enough to scare me and although it does, I don't want to stop.

After organizing my art desk for the fiftieth time within the last ten minutes, I paced back and forth in my room. Carter was going to be here... tonight. He was going to be staying the night tonight, and I don't know if he wants to sleep in my bedroom or in the living room, but either way, it's still nerve-wracking.

I twirled the ends of my hair at my fingertips. I'd been doing everything I could to keep myself busy today; I showered, got dressed, did my hair and makeup, and even repainted my fingers the royal blue they were usually painted. I'd cleaned up my room, placing and replacing certain items that looked out of place.

I spent time cleaning my bathroom, putting clean towels up on the towel racks, and making sure all of my dirty clothes were put in the laundry basket. I even cleaned the window at the far end of my room and made sure my open-space closet was as organized as could be.

My journal was hidden away in the top shelf of my closet, out of sight and mind so Carter wouldn't somehow accidentally stumble across it. The last thing I needed was for him to see the journal entry I wrote shortly after he dropped me off this early afternoon. 

I made sure the rest of the house was clean and organized, not including the other bedrooms. The kitchen and living room were already spotless thanks to my mother's need to clean things constantly, and so I eventually found myself going back up to my room and going over the previous events.

Despite still being upset about what had happened yesterday, my mind was more clouded by the party tonight. I'd already had to worry because Logan and Paige were both going to be there, not to mention it was a college party, but the thing I'm worried about most was Carter. 

What if he doesn't like my outfit? What if he notices how hard I'm trying and that makes him lose interest?

Oh god, what if he isn't even interested at all and I'm overlooking it?

My fingers fumbled for my phone sitting in my back pocket, calling the first number I thought of. It rang a few times before it was answered, and I sighed in relief.

"Hello?" Katherine asked, seeming confused that I was calling her. It was much like yesterday.

"Hey, what are you doing tonight?" I asked nervously.

"I don't think I'm doing anything," She said. "Why? What's up?"

"Would you like to go to a party tonight?" I asked quickly, fiddling with the waistband of my jeans.

"A party? Like a-a party party?" She asked.

"Yes, a party party." I told her, "I'm going and Carter's going to be here to pick me up, and I'm kind of losing my mind. I just kinda need a friend right now and the last thing I wanna do is call Paige, and--"

"Slow down, slow down." Katherine let out a laugh, the beautiful sound echoing through the phone speaker. "I'm not a big party person or a people person in general."

"I know, I guess I just--"

"But, I like you, so I guess I can suck it up for the night." She cut me off, causing a big smile to cover my face.

"Thank you, you're such an angel." I breathed out.

"Hardly," She scoffed. "Let me leave a note for my mom and I can meet you at yours, we can get picked up together."

"You're a lifesaver!" I couldn't help but gush. "I'll text my address, just let me know when you're almost here and I can meet you at the doorway."

"Sounds good," Katherine told me before hanging up. I didn't hesitate to immediately send her my address, continuing my pace back and forth.

This. This is why I hate coming to realize my feelings. It makes me overthink things that are super simple, such as the outfit I'm wearing or the way my hair looks.

Speaking of, I took a glance in my mirror at my hair. It looked fine, but I began to mess with the little clips holding the front of my hair back to make them look better. I did it multiple times, feeling fidgety.

I don't know what took over me to call Katherine. Sure, we talk every day simply due to having homeroom together, and we've hung out one or two times, but I wouldn't say we're close to the point of her just dropping everything and coming to my aid. But then again, it was either her or Paige.

Out of all the people I talk to, the only people's numbers I have are Katherine, Carter, and Paige. I obviously can't talk to Carter about my feelings for him, and the last person I'd want to tell is Paige. I'd even rather tell Elijah over Paige, which speaks volumes.

Katherine seemed trustworthy like she wouldn't run and tell any secrets the way Logan did. She doesn't have lots of friends, a lot like me. I don't think she'd want to ruin our blossoming friendship over something as stupid as a secret like my crush on Carter.

Usually, writing it in my journal is enough. But when I liked Asher, I had Paige to talk to. Even if it wasn't a good idea to tell her for obvious reasons, I still had her to talk to. Keeping it in this way bottles it up, and the last thing I need is to embarrass myself in front of Carter more than I already have so far.

Telling Katherine seemed like my best bet. I'm not too close with anyone else to know whether they're trustworthy, and even then they all have a good abundance of friends.

Katherine and I were both loners, which I liked.

It felt like an eternity before Katherine texted me that she was getting close, and I didn't hesitate to run down the stairs and swing open the front door. I could see her a couple of houses down.

She wore what she usually did, not seeming to dress any differently for the party tonight. The main difference was instead of her ripped jeans she wore a black skirt, but she still wore fishnets underneath like she did with most of her jeans. She wore a cropped band Nirvana T-Shirt, the same black denim jacket hanging over her arms as it usually did.

Her pale skin contrasted the dark colors beautifully, and I found myself jealous of how amazing she looked.

"You're eager," She commented as she walked up the driveway. Her hands were in her pockets as she walked, staying at her own pace to get to the house. She took in the sight as she walked up the porch, and it was then I noticed her makeup was already done as well. Her smile fell as she saw my face, her eyes landing on my cheek. "Holy shit what happened to your face?"

"Fuck! Is it that noticeable?" I asked, bringing a hand up to my cheek.

"Your hand!" She exclaimed, pointing at the scratched-up hand.

"Fuck!" I shouted again, moving back into the house.

Katherine walked in, her hands leaving her denim jacket pockets as she swung the door shut behind her. "What happened, Rory?" She asked, following me as I made my way back up to my bedroom.

I didn't look to see her reaction to the house and whether she liked it or not, as at the moment I was worried about the cuts covering my skin. I know that Carter has already seen it, but knowing it's super noticeable is embarrassing.

I entered my room and made my way to my vanity, glancing at my cheek in the mirror. The cut was very minor, not really noticeable unless you're staring at my cheek. But there was slight bruising around the cuts, which was what drew attention to the injury. I really hate how prone I am to bruises, something as simple as a slap causing something so ugly.

Katherine stood in the entryway of my room, watching my anxiety take over. I grabbed some more concealer, being careful to only put a small amount.

"It's not going to cover it, you know," Katherine spoke up, causing me to pause at my motions. I stopped, turning to see her staring at me with an expression I couldn't decipher. "The cuts and bruises. It minimizes it, but if you've already applied that then it won't cover the rest by applying more."

"Fuck," I said for what felt like the hundredth time, resting my hands on my hips. "People are going to see it."

"Just lie about it then," She said with a shrug.

"I'm not good at lying," I told her.

"Well, it's either that or tell everyone what actually happened. Speaking of, what happened?" She asked. "You can lie if you want, I won't push."

"My mom did it," I admitted. I don't know what came over me to just up and tell her the way I did, but I did. It was a lot like when I told Carter everything, minus the ugly snot and tears.

Katherine's face faltered a bit at the sudden admission, seeming to not have expected it. "What?" She softly asked, her hands leaving her pockets again.

"I got into a fight with my mom and she hit me," I told her. My tone was soft, and the complete opposite of what it was only moments earlier. I'd just been freaking out about impressing Carter, and now I'm doing my best to hold myself together as I admit to Katherine what happened to me.

Bipolar much, Rory?

"You don't have to continue," Katherine spoke, seeming to notice the change in my mood. "I get it, mothers are brutal."

"She just doesn't approve of the things I do, is all." I don't know why I felt the need to excuse her actions, but I did.

"Doesn't give her any right to put her hands on you." She hesitantly stepped closer. I could tell this was very out of her comfort zone, not experiencing things like this much.

"She doesn't like that I've been hanging out with Carter and even though he's done nothing but help me out with everything that's been happening, I find myself falling for him and I know I shouldn't before you say anything-- I just can't help it I feel the way I feel and nobody can know because I'm going crazy with these feelings I've never felt before and that's also why I called you was because I didn't want to do this alone and I know I'm used to being alone, but I couldn't tell Paige any of this and I don't trust anyone else with any of this information." I rambled, admitting everything to her at once.

It probably made no sense as I jumped back and forth, not to mention the conversation was originally about my mom and ended up being about my feelings for Carter, but it was out and the ball was now in Katherine's court.

Katherine didn't say anything, her eyes wide at the confession. She didn't expect it for sure, and I couldn't tell if she was debating running away or just staying silent. My heartbeat was pounding in my chest, and my breathing was uneven from talking so fast to the point I was talking more than breathing.

Suddenly, the blonde closed the distance between us and wrapped her arms around my neck. She hugged me, and I hesitantly hugged her back. It was a confusing gesture, but it felt nice hugging someone.

Not once had Paige ever done anything like this for me when I was going through something, the only person to hug me when they saw I was dealing with stuff was Logan.

But I don't want to think about that, because that was the same day that Logan promised me he wouldn't say anything to anyone and then turned around and did.

I sunk into Katherine's hold, happy to have someone hold me this way. It was comforting, and immediately my thoughts and anxiety calmed down to a bearable amount.

"Thank you," I told her, feeling my nerves calm down enough to think straight again.

"It's okay, okay?" She asked, pulling away. "Look, I only say that it's okay because I get it, my mom--" She stopped, moving back to put space between us. "My mom is no angel either, so I can really relate to you on that."

"Your mom hurts you?" I asked quietly, leaning back against the vanity behind me.

"Yes," She hesitantly admitted, "But the point is, I know how you feel. I won't tell anyone anything you ever tell me, simply because I know what it's like to have shitty friends. But you're talking about Carter Jackson, right?"

I nodded, my heart thumping harder just simply hearing his name.

"Cool," She said with a nod. "And you haven't told anyone else you like him?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "The only other person I'd think of telling is Paige, but she's not a good person to tell."

"Okay," She said. "Your secret is safe with me."

I nodded again, rubbing my hands together. "The only people that know about my mom are Carter, you, Logan, and Paige. Paige only knew a certain extent of it, but Carter told me Logan told Paige."

"Oh my god, he told Paige?" She asked, her dark brows pushing together. Despite having light blonde hair, her eyebrows were a brown color. I'd always thought the look was weird on people, but Katherine pulls it off perfectly.

"Yeah, the only reason Logan knew is 'cause my mom didn't know he was here and she said and did some things and he witnessed it, but he promised he wouldn't say anything to anyone," I told her.

"That's so shitty!" She exclaimed.

"Yeah," I breathed out. "So, last night we got into it and I ended up leaving, but didn't know where to go. I didn't want to bother you with my problems, and so I tried to get ahold of Paige but she wasn't answering her phone." I twirled my ring as I spoke, "I walked all the way to Logan's and he ended up not being home."

"Carter was, I'm assuming?" She raised a brow, seeming to be genuinely interested in what I was saying.

"Yeah, he helped me clean up and I stayed the night there," I said. 

"You slept over?" She asked, her face lighting up. "Dude,"

"What?" I asked, not catching the look on her face.

"Were you in his bedroom?" She then asked, "I have a feeling you're getting somewhere with this and I just want to make sure I'm following along correctly."

"Yes," I quietly squeaked out. "He let me shower and I wasn't originally going to be staying in his room but I got scared."

"Okay, okay, okay!" She quickly said, waving her hands around. "This is a lot, and as much as I want to ask the millions of questions I have, I'm going to wait till you finish so start off on when you got there!" 

"Basically I admitted to him what had happened, he told me about Logan telling Paige about what happened, and then he offered some clothes since I brought almost nothing over to his house. I showered, and when I got out of the shower I heard him and Logan talking." I quickly explained, knowing we didn't have time to go through every little detail.

"Did you eavesdrop?" She asked.

"Yes," I said. "Logan was really defensive of Paige, Carter said a few colorful words and I ended it before it could get too far."

"Wow," She breathed out, taking everything in. She sat at the edge of my bed, getting comfortable. "Keep going, just wow."

"I was in the guest room closest to Carter's bedroom, but I have this really irrational fear of what's lurking in the dark and so after like two hours I went to his room." I couldn't help but gush, feeling good I could openly talk about something so private without a worry it was going to get spread around the way things usually did.

"He let me in and I told him why I showed up, and we talked a bit until I fell asleep. It got a little blurry since I fell asleep first, but something weird I remember happening is how I admitted I usually fall asleep listening to cartoons so I'm not in the dark and he changed whatever he was watching to cartoons." I continued, smiling at just the memory of the night before. "I don't know how it happened, but when I woke up--" I stopped, feeling my cheeks heat up at what I was about to admit. "We were cuddling."

"No fucking way!" She shot up from the bed, "Dude, I'm not one to feed into crazy thoughts or anything but I need to tell you something--" She stopped, putting her hands on my arms. "Are you ready?"

"I guess so," I told her awkwardly, partially afraid of what was going to be said.

"I'm not going to retell you anything about the Jackson brothers, simply because I've heard the buzz around school." She breathed out, her brown eyes dancing between my blue ones. "But Carter is notorious for being a very private person. He doesn't talk about his feelings and doesn't say things unless it's like something to his friends or Logan. But ever since you've been here--" She stopped, her red lips shutting quickly as she tried to think about what she wanted to say.

"He doesn't open up to people. Since you've been here all I've heard is the way he's immediately acted differently with you. Even when he was dating Ashley, she never once stood foot in his bedroom." She finished, "I'm not saying any of this to feed into your crush, because I get it. But I needed to tell you because that's fucking wild!"

My heart thumped at her confession. I didn't expect it, but then again I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know how to respond to how I felt, or even continue on with what happened. I was truly at a loss for words, my mind filling with even more delusional thoughts about Carter Jackson.

Before the conversation could get any further, my phone buzzed in my back pocket. I pulled it out, seeing a text from an unknown number but my heart jumped as I read the actual text message.

on my way, i'm heading a little early if it's okay.

it's carter btw.

"Oh god, he's on his way."

++

Aurora is such a little cutie, I can't <3 Her experiencing new friendships and such makes me so happy 

Thank you for 1k on this story!! I'm so so grateful :)

Please comment :) I know I ask that like every chapter but I have so many ghost readers it makes me think you guys aren't liking the story :(

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