- It May Sound Strange; Spencer Sutherland -
- Dollhouse; Melanie Martinez - 
- Hard To Believe; Wallows - 
- Mind Is A Prison; Alec Benjamin -
- Must Have Been The Wind; Alec Benjamin - 

I just want to add another disclaimer at the top of the chapter: this story contains very sensitive topics such as self-harm, abuse, etc. I know I've added it at the beginning of this story so I didn't have to add one at the top of every chapter, but due to how intense this chapter gets toward the beginning, I wanted a reminder. I won't continue to put one at the top of every chapter, considering there's a warning at the beginning of the story. Anyways, carry on and I'm always here for you if you're struggling <3

Aurora Holland

"Did you finish your homework, Aurora?" My mother asked from across the table. We were currently eating a quick dinner of macaroni and cheese, just the four of us. I nodded as I was in the middle of chewing, not wanting to get in trouble for not having 'table manners' or whatever it'd be that my mom comes up with this time.

"All caught up as best as I can be," I said after finishing my bite. "Even for next week's assignments."

"Good," My father spoke as he sent me a smile. "Look into any of those after-school clubs we talked about?"

"No," I lied. I had, but I knew my mother wouldn't like the answer.

I'd looked into the art clubs, even finding myself much closer to Griffin's sibling, Guin. They're a junior in high school, a year younger than Griffin and Quinn. I'd only met them once before when I met the others at the mall, but because they've been so busy with certain academic programs, there's been little conversation between the two of us.

I still really do enjoy their presence, however, and I constantly find myself studying in the library with them, Quinn, and Naia.

"Probably for the best," My mother said as she took a sip of her water. "It's already much late in the school year anyway. Attempting to join something with little experience in those things can be difficult."

"We've already had this conversation and I'd really hope that we can just drop it," I spoke before I could stop myself, already feeling my chest tighten at her words.

She hadn't even said anything extremely rude yet, but I was completely over it. She was bad before we moved to Riverway, but it's only gotten ten times worse since we've been here. It's like a flip switched in her or something, but either way, it should never have gotten this far in the first place.

"Your mouth is getting really bad lately, Aurora. I don't know who it is you've been hanging out with but it's getting ridiculous." My mother snapped, sending me a glare from across the table.

"Viv, come on--"

"No, Harold! I'm tired of hearing thing after thing with her. She's acting as if she's already an adult when she's still just a child. And don't think I forgot about what happened at the event, either." She pointed a finger at me, "It might have been a while ago, but I still haven't had the proper time to talk to you."

"Vivienne, it was long enough ago that we can drop it, okay? She behaved the best she could, she--"

"Harold, whose side are you on?" My mom cut him off again, glaring at him. "You're enabling her. You and that Jackson boy."

"What?" I asked, dropping my spoon on the table.

"Ever since you started hanging out with Lainie's eldest you've been off the rails." She waved her hand dramatically, rolling her eyes along with the gesture. "He completely disrespected me the night I met him, and I don't understand how they raised Logan up to be such a gentleman and Carter to be such a--" She stopped, realizing she was getting ahead of herself.

"Finish it," I spat. "Finish what you were going to say, Mother."

She stared at me, a look of anger on her slightly wrinkled features. She wasn't happy with me snapping at her, but I'm too full of anger to care about what happened to me.

Sure, I've been around Carter a lot. But if anyone's been enabling me to act in any way, it's Paige. The girl she wishes was her daughter. If she knew half of the things Paige did in her free time, she wouldn't think of her the same.

But because I love Paige and consider her to be my best friend, I won't say them. I just let my mom shit on me whenever and wherever she wants, thinking that Paige is a perfect little angel when in reality, she isn't. Plain and simple. If anything, Paige is the worst of anyone I've befriended at Riverway, which says a lot.

"Aurora, do not talk to me that way." She calmly spoke. It was scary how calm she was considering I was offending her badly, but my mind was too blind with anger to realize that this was the calm before the storm.

"I will talk however I want to!" I exclaimed, standing up from my seat at the table. The chair screeched against the hardwood floor with a grating sound, one that caused Jason to look over at me. He looked afraid, but I don't think he was afraid of me.

I think he was afraid of what was bound to happen.

"You're acting like Carter is some bad boy who doesn't follow the rules!" I continued, not letting her get a word in. "He's the opposite. He's been helping me out by sticking up for me when I'm bullied, bringing me home when I have nobody else to, and he's kind enough to replace a notebook that got destroyed. And he wasn't even the one to destroy it!" I pointed out using my fingers. I noticed they were shaking due to my outburst, but I ignored it and kept my angry eyes on my mother.

"Carter is not a good influence, and even though I can't tell Cyrus and Lainie that due to Cyrus and your father working together, I won't hesitate to tell you. He's making you do all these outbursts!" She motioned a hand in my direction, her perfectly manicured acrylic nails shining from the dining room light.

"He is not who you think he is." I calmly said, clenching my fists to my sides. "You only think that because he wouldn't let you abuse me the way you were."

"Abuse?" My mother scoffed, standing in her spot.

"Guys--"

"I do anything but abuse you!" My mother cut my father off again, just as she usually does. "I feed you, I clothe you, I supply you everything a mother supplies her children."

"Except for love!" I yelled, tears stinging in my eyes. "You don't love me, and you never have. If you did you wouldn't find any way to talk about anything but me! Not to mention when you do talk about me, you're insulting me in any way you can find! You're the worst mother in the history of mothers!"

"And you're an ungrateful brat who thinks she can do whatever she wants!" My mother yelled back, a vein popping out of her red neck as she yelled. "You're sleeping with this boy, aren't you?"

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed, running my fingers through my hair. I pulled at the roots, something I haven't done since I was younger and had issues controlling my emotions. "Listen to yourself! You sound like a maniac!"

"You sound like a maniac!" She countered, slamming her hand on the dining room table. The glasses and silverware chimed together at the action, causing both Jason and my dad to jump a little from the unexpected noise. "Paige would never talk to her parents--"

"Well I'm not Paige!" I screamed, cutting her off. "I'm not Paige, and I'll never be Paige. And that's good enough for Dad, and that's good enough for Jason, but it's not for you!" My head began to hurt as I tugged at my hair, my vision blurry from the hot tears. "It's pathetic that you play favorites and treat me horribly yet you expect me to just take the abuse and the hurt!"

"You're ruining this family because you're sticking up for some boy!" She exclaimed. She continued to yell about the same stuff, my mind tuning her out as I backed up in my spot for a second. My hands were on the top of my head, my fingertips knotting my hair as I did my best to control my feelings.

I probably looked like the monster I felt like.

"This Jackson boy has put thoughts in your head, hasn't he? Telling you that this is abuse when it's not!" She continued, insult after insult coming out of her mouth about him. She even said things I couldn't comprehend, as I was too busy trying to not open the bottle of emotions flowing through me.

But as always, I failed.

"Fuck you!" I suddenly screamed as I leaned forward, slamming both of my hands on the table. This shut her up immediately, her eyes wide at the sudden exclamation. "Fuck your delusional thoughts about this! This has nothing to do about Carter! He's smart, and he's funny and so what if I like him? He's more of a person than you'll ever be, so fuck you for--"

My words were quickly cut off as the feeling of a rough hand coming in contact with my cheek shoved my head to my left. A loud slapping sound echoed through the room, the entire house growing completely silent at the action.

A stinging pain coursed its way through my right cheek, especially where her ring came into contact with my cheekbone.

"Vivienne," My father quietly said, staring at the scene in shock.

"You deserve everything that happens to you, Aurora, and I will not apologize for you experiencing the consequences of your own actions." My mother took her ground, not giving in. My fists clenched as I pulled back from the table, tears silently falling down my cheeks.

She rubbed the hand she used to slap me, only going to show exactly how hard she hit me. It burned from the contact, and I already knew there'd be at least some type of mark from her slap. Considering it echoed through the whole house and shoved my face to the side, I'm not surprised.

This was the first time she actually hit me, and so all thoughts of everything I was going to say left my head immediately.

I looked over at my dad, waiting on him to say something. Anything. To at least stick up for me or tell her she's gone too far. To say she's in the wrong, anything to make me feel better about not only her actions but what she's said about me.

"Aurora," He murmured, giving me the answer before I had a chance to ask.

I nodded, seeing it as it really was. He wasn't going to say something, despite the fact that she's gone too far. Now that she has, and now that she sees he's not doing anything, she's going to continue it. I thought I'd at least be safe if she ever slipped and did anything to me in front of him or Jason, yet it's the same.

It has been and always will be the same.

"Fuck you," I muttered, backing away from the table. "Fuck all of you for allowing this." I shook my head as I made my way to the door, thankful I decided to keep some shoes on to lounge around the house.

Realizing that there was still one person innocent in all of this, I backed up into their view one last time before leaving. "Except you, Jason. I love you." I mumbled, avoiding eye contact with both of my parents as I assured my little brother he did nothing wrong.

I could blame both of my parents as much as I wanted, but Jason wasn't to blame for any of this. He's twelve, for Christ's sake, he can't do anything.

Making sure to slam my door on the way out, I immediately began walking. I didn't know where to, but I made sure to walk quickly to get as far away from my house as possible. The last thing I wanted was for them to try and follow me, but knowing my parents they'll be more worried about Jason and how he's been affected by it than anything.

My shaky fingers fumbled for my phone, trying my best to look through the blurred vision for Paige's contact. I breathed in relief as I found it, frowning as it immediately went to voicemail. She hadn't said she had any plans today, but I wouldn't be surprised if she's busy considering she's very popular and always has something going on. Even if it's a last-minute thing.

There was only one other person I knew that I could handle seeing me like this, and that was Logan. I didn't have his number, so the best I could do was walk to his house.

This sucked, considering it was a bit of a distance between my house and his, but maybe I'll calm down by the time I get there.

My phone rested on silent in my pocket as I scratched at the skin on my hand. My thoughts kept replaying the scene over and over again in my mind, tears continuing to fall as I relived what just happened over and over again.

I probably looked incredibly stupid right now. Or maybe like a crackhead. My hair's a knotted mess, I'm crying, and scratching at my skin.

But I don't know how to appease my fidgety fingers, and my mind was too jumbled together to attempt to try anything else.

So I walked. I walked the familiar way to Logan's, thankful at that moment that I'm really good at remembering the most random things. If I didn't, I'd have no idea where I was going.

I replayed the conversation in my mind over and over, my mind only stopping a few times to text and call Paige every few minutes. I knew she wasn't going to answer, so after the fifth time I stopped calling.

She wasn't here, and I need to accept that.

I took another turn in the direction of Logan's house, my feet beginning to hurt. I was already in intense pain for multiple reasons, so my feet hurting was just the beginning. It was also beginning to get dark, meaning at any point now I'd be walking alone at night.

Which is something I don't want.

That was more than enough to make me ignore the pain and quicken my pace, my hands continuing to pick at my skin. I probably shouldn't have said what I did to my mother, especially the part about her being the worst mother. I was just angry, and I hate that she gets away with treating me the way I did.

I can't help it, she just made me so angry. Not even just about treating me the way she does. She can say and do whatever she wants to me, but she shouldn't come at Carter the way she did. Carter has done nothing, he's been nothing but amazing.

Both he and Logan have been amazing since I've moved here. They've befriended me despite the fact that I'm a friendless weirdo, and Carter's even gone as far as sticking up for me when assholes like James Hanneman decide to pick on me.

I've never had that. I've never had someone to be so loyal to me without there being another reason behind it.

I also realize that I admitted to my mother that I liked him, but surely it was just in the heat of the moment... right? I hadn't even comprehended it until now, that I was spewing out my feelings without thinking about it first.

I denied having a crush on him to everyone, especially Paige. Now that I've said those few little words to my mom, I'm feeling things I didn't feel before. More so things I was feeling before but not understanding.

I'm feeling the way I felt with Asher but more intense, and I'm terrified. I'm petrified that this is another repeat of Asher, that I'm going to walk in and see something I don't want to see. And I'm going to be so heartbroken because not only did Paige hype me up as if something would actually happen, but also because I let myself fall.

I fall too fast, simply because nobody gives me the time of day. And now that I've admitted something stupid at the moment, I'm coming to the realization that I don't want to. I'd rather just go back to hearing the delusions Paige fed me without actually feeding into them. Because when I come to the realization, I'm head over heels as if I know what it's actually like to experience any type of love or relationship.

Without realizing it, I'd made it to the Jackson residence. It was just past dark, meaning I made it just before it got too late. I sighed in relief, breathing heavily before realizing that there were no cars in the driveway.

Oh god... what if he's not here?

 I tugged at my hair a little as I began to panic. I'd be fine if he wasn't here, except for the fact that it's already dark outside. This means I'd have to walk in the dark, and I have nowhere to go. I can't go back home, and Paige isn't answering.

Ignoring the thought that I might have to walk alone in the dark, I slowly stomped my way to the door. My legs were aching, my face hot as I felt at any moment I could pass out.

It was chilly outside, as it was the last few days of August and the early days of September. It was getting to get closer to fall weather, and today was awfully cold. I was wearing just a tank top and athletic shorts, having not planned on leaving the house tonight.

Knocking at the door, I took a glance at my hand. It was worse than the night Logan witnessed my mom act the way she did. It was almost dripping blood, and if I didn't put my other hand over it, it'd have dripped on Jackson's porch.

Nobody answered. I knocked again, this time more frantic and harder in case they just didn't hear me. I noticed a doorbell and rang it, failing to hear any sign of life inside the house.

Nobody was home.

I rested my forehead against the door, my left hand holding my right tightly. A sob escaped my lips as I finally let it go. I'd been crying the majority of the way here, but I hadn't actually stopped and cried as much as I needed to because I was more worried about getting somewhere.

Paige wasn't here.

And neither was Logan.

"Rory?" A soft voice was heard behind me, and I jumped up and away from the door at the sudden sound. I turned around, and my vision blurred due to the fountain of tears leaving my eyes.

"Rory, is everything okay?" The voice became clearer, and I sniffled as I choked down a sob.

"Carter?"

++

Reminder to be there for your friends when they're going through rough patches </3

* This chapter is not edited *