what age would you call your prime?

Aurora Holland

Leaning back in my seat, I focused on the homework for Ceramics. I was almost done with the draft, considering I've been working on it most of today, and next, I planned on working on the homework for US Government. I didn't technically have homework for my painting class since that was more of an in-class type of class. I like to work on my homework in order of my classes, so I know it'll definitely be done by the time I go in the next time I have to be there.

I smiled in success as the draft was finished, and I blew lightly over it to rid of eraser shreds. Once I did so, I pushed it neatly into the folder I had specifically for that class. Then I pulled my US Government homework toward me, opening it and pulling out what I'd need to study.

Someone standing in front of me on the other side of the table caught my attention. I'd been sitting in the upper level of the library on my own, liking it as I was in complete peace and quiet, minus the music blaring through my earbuds. I was able to lightly bounce in a dance as I worked on homework without having someone to look at me all crazy, and being here saved me the luxury of having to deal with my mother if she were to come home before Jason and my father.

The library at Riverway was huge. It has two levels, the entrance and the main desk downstairs. It was a dream to be here, honestly.

I looked up to see Cameron standing in front of me, with Griffin behind him talking to a girl with curly brown hair. It was tied up in pretty space buns, matching her outfit perfectly.

Pulling my earbuds out of my ears, I softly smiled at Cameron. "Hey," I said.

"We've been looking for you," He spoke as he sat across from me.

"How'd you find me?" I asked as Griffin walked around, sitting in the empty spot next to me. The unknown girl sat across from Griffin and on the other side of Cameron, quietly listening to our conversation.

"We asked Paige, who said to ask Logan because he was your ride." Griffin answered, "He said you mentioned something about going to a library after school, and considering this is the Riverway Public Library, we just connected the dots."

"Oh, well... what's up?" I asked, turning my music off.

"Everyone's buzzing about that shit you pulled in PE, that's badass," Griffin said.

"You came to tell me what I did was badass?" I asked, my nose scrunching up.

"Well, no-"

"It was!" Griffin cut off Cameron excitedly, "I've been playing basketball with Hanneman for years. He's so full of it. The fact that he purposely chose the most athletic people - not including Carter of course - and still managed to lose the game he's the best at? Classic."

"Sometimes being strategic can be useful." I shrugged, tapping my pencil on my US Government folder. "He was an asshole, and he deserved it."

"He's telling everyone you did what you did because you were mad at him for not sleeping with you," Cameron said. "You should be careful around Hanneman. He's the worst guy at Riverway."

"Yet he's popular why?" I asked, "I assumed he was one of the worst guys at Riverway considering when I met him he was bullying a classmate."

"Is that why he doesn't like you?" The girl asked, "I'm Quinn by the way, Griffin's sister."

"Twin, to be exact." Griffin held a finger up in correction. The girl just rolled her eyes in response.

"He doesn't like me because he was bullying some girl in my homeroom and I told him he had a tiny dick." I bluntly spoke, my tone soft as I remembered we were in the library.

It's not usual for me to say these things and talk so openly, but some of the people here at Riverway made it so easy to seem as if I were a different person. A person not living in someone's shadow, wishing I were anyone else but myself.

It felt nice, and I want to take advantage of it while this fake confidence lasts.

"Holy fucking shit," Griffin spoke with a laugh. "I bet he was shitting himself!"

"Nah, just tried to embarrass me in PE and it didn't work," I said. "Carter was a little upset at first because I refused to move and almost all of our teammates got out, but-" I stopped with a shrug.

"But you hit James and Ashley in one hit, that's pretty impressive," Cameron said with a nod.

"You've made quite the impression at Riverway High." Quinn said, "I've heard enough about you from these two, but even if I hadn't, I would've still heard things."

"Yeah, I know." I spoke with dread, "This Kaya girl got mad at me because she wanted to impress Carter and didn't."

"Hence the Carter rumor," Quinn nodded this time.

"Then Logan brought me to school," I added.

"The Logan rumor," Griffin put in.

"And now the James situation." I shrugged, "And his ego is so hurt he's acting like I wanted him in bed. How tragic."

It hurt, honestly. Hearing that all these things were being said about me when I'd only been attending school for two days. But, I'm proud of myself for sticking up for myself and others when I wouldn't have ever had the guts back in Point Prep.

"Well, we came by because I mentioned Quinn to you yesterday in Government, I figured I'd introduce you." Griffin said, "I feel with the book smart thing you got going on you could get along well and it's always nice to have friends when things are being said the way they are."

"Thank you, Griffin." I told him, "It was really nice to meet you, Quinn."

"It's nice to meet you too. I'd love to stay and chat but unfortunately, I have to get to Honors." She stood back from the chair. She stepped to the side and pushed it back in, Griffin following her actions.

"And I've got to take her, so I'll see you later. Cam, you coming?" The boy looked at the blond, who just shook his head.

"I think I'll stay here and work on some homework," He responded, looking at me after. "You're working on Government, right?"

"I was about to, yeah." I nodded.

"Okay, well, we'll see you around." Griffin sent one last wave before walking off, leaving Cameron and me alone.

It grew silent between us as we worked on Government, and Cameron gladly answered any questions about the homework assignment I was already a little behind on. It wasn't long before I was completely caught up with homework, except for something from AP Art History.

"Do you speak French?" I asked Cameron, my eyes peeking at the little note that had been left in my locker this morning.

His brows pushed together, and he shook his head slowly. "No, are you taking the class? Griffin and both his siblings speak it, so if you're having trouble in class, they'll definitely help you. Especially Quinn, she's very good at it."

"Oh, no, but thank you, though." I shook my head, my cheeks flushing.

"Why?" He pushed slightly, seeming to notice my red cheeks.

"I was just curious about what certain words mean." I shrugged, "Nothing to do with school. Just forget I asked."

Cameron looked at me for a moment before giving up with a smile. He respected the fact that I didn't want to talk about it anymore and looked back down at his homework. From the looks of it, it had to do with History, but it wasn't our work from Government.

"I brought you something," The sound of a voice spoke from behind me. I craned my neck to see Logan walking up from behind me, a small baggie and a cup tray in his hand.

"Oh, you shouldn't have," Cameron joked with a playful smile as I looked back forward.

"Not you, dummy." Logan set the cup tray down on an empty spot on the table. "I was talking to Rora. I didn't know you were here."

"We were doing homework," Cameron said with a shrug. "It's quiet in here. Well, it was until you decided to show up."

"You love me," Logan said, looking at him with a cute smile. His attention was then averted to me, "I brought you a frappuccino and a chocolate chip muffin. I wasn't sure what you liked, so I did it based on the frappuccino Paige bought you yesterday, and since that was a chocolate drink, I figured a chocolate chip muffin would suffice."

"You didn't have to," I told him with a blush on my cheeks.

"I figured since you've been here for like three hours now, you could use a pick-me-up. Plus, your day sounded rough." He sat in the seat next to me, pulling his own drink from the tray.

"It was okay," I said.

Cameron's phone rang, and he made a face as he quickly answered it so it'd stop ringing. Thankfully, we didn't bother anyone since we were on the second level.

"Hello?" He asked into the phone, touching the tip of his thumb to his lips. "Mhm, yeah, I got it. I'm on my way." He then hung up his phone, shoving it back into his pocket. "Sorry guys, but duty calls."

"Bailey?" Logan asked.

"Yeah, she needs me to bring the car to the house so she can go to the mall with Layla." He shrugged as he gathered his stuff. "I forgot I told her she could use it today since I didn't plan on staying here so long. It was nice hanging out, Rora."

The blond smiled at me as he said goodbye, holding one of his textbooks in his hands. "I'll see you tomorrow in Gov.. Bye, LJ." He then said goodbye to his friend, turning and exiting in the same way he came in.

This left Logan and me alone, just like before when Griffin and Quinn left Cameron and me. I stayed silent, my eyes on the closed folder in front of me as my mind puddled with thoughts.

"Heard about the James incident," Logan brought up, breaking the silence.

"Is that why you decided to bring me this?" I asked, pulling the drink from the tray. I took a sip, waiting for him to answer.

"Yeah, I felt bad that he embarrassed you." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"He didn't embarrass me, it was the other way around." I shrugged, setting the drink back on the table.

"Well, still, it was probably awful having to deal with that," Logan said. "Out of all the people attending Riverway High, I think I dislike him the most. He's just not a good guy overall, and I wish Carter realized that."

"I'm not worried," I said, not wanting to get too much into it. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't that bad, that I felt accomplished that I managed to get under James' skin more than he got under mine. But I couldn't, as it seemed Logan didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I did something in return to bother James.

"How much longer do you plan on staying here?" Logan asked, changing the subject.

"I'm not sure. I have one more assignment and was thinking about putting it off, but I know my mother will never let me do that." I shrugged, my mind jumbled. Today definitely felt shorter than yesterday, but that doesn't mean it still didn't feel long.

"You could just tell her you got it done. You've been here long enough, you should be able to enjoy the rest of the day." Logan shrugged, "It's your decision, but if you've caught up on everything else, then I think you deserve a break."

I took a piece of the muffin, chewing it in thought. "Do you know French?" I asked, remembering the note once again.

"No, I took Spanish," Logan responded.

"Okay," I said, leaving it at that. I didn't know what I was doing, asking him if he knew French, it would do nothing but make him question why I'm asking whether he knew the language or not.

Not like it matters anyway, with the rumors going around I wouldn't be surprised if this was some cruel lame joke being played on me.

After that thought went through my mind, that was enough to make me want to forget about the stupid note altogether. I'll just shove it away in my desk when I get home and hopefully forget about it forever because if I give in and show whoever's doing this that I enjoyed their little 'love' letter, then it's going to cause them to want to mess with me more and that's the opposite of what I'm wanting.

"Sucks we don't have any classes together," Logan said, leaning back in the soft padded library seat. He scrolled through his phone as he spoke, not looking at me as he said the simple sentence. "You know anyone in any of your classes?"

"Not really," I couldn't help but lie. It's not usual for me to lie, not including the little white lie I told my mom about Logan leaving his car at the house yesterday. But with all the buzz going around the school already about how I'm trying to get it on with both Logan and Carter, something just prevented me from telling Logan I had most of my classes with his brother.

Not that it matters, I wouldn't really consider Carter a friend anyway. Not including the conversation we had the first day we met at Logan's party, we haven't had much conversation except a few things here and there. Sure, he's tried talking to me, but I've found myself running off before the conversation can get too deep.

Maybe it's the fear of what happened with Asher, or maybe I've just seen too many movies to know Carter's just messing with me. He's probably too caught up in his own head thinking every girl wants him and that he thinks he can mess with me and I'll be falling at his feet the way Paige and every other girl at Riverway High seems to do for him and Logan.

Call me stupid, call me indecisive, and annoying. I can't help it that one second I'm thinking I should be kind and give him a chance, and then the next thinking he's just messing with me. When all I've known is people messing with me and using me for different things (mostly wanting to get close to Paige), I can't help it. And trying to change myself to be more out in the open and confident is much harder than it looks.

It's putting me through so many constant battles with myself. Knowing this isn't who I truly am, knowing this isn't what I'm usually like, but then remembering that this is for the better. I've already made friends because of it, and even though I've made quite a few people I'd consider enemies, it's better than the way it was at Point Prep. At Point Prep, I only had one friend, and I don't know how many people would consider it an actual friend because it's my cousin.

I guarantee that if Paige and I weren't cousins and I weren't such a pushover, we wouldn't be friends. Especially with the way she's been treating me lately. I'm literally just doing what she wanted and I'm putting myself out there, and voicing my thoughts the way she would.

But now that it's not going along with everything she says, it seems to be an issue.

"Aurora?" Logan asked, bringing me out of my thoughts. I glanced over to see him looking at me, his phone resting screen down on his chest as he continued to lean back in the chair.

"Sorry, what?" I asked, blinking a few times.

"I asked if you wanted to get out of here. I noticed you weren't really working on anything, and it is getting closer to dinner time," Logan said.

"Oh, sure." I nodded. I really did want to get that last assignment done, so I was as caught up as can be, but with how my thoughts have been, I know my studying time is over with. I might as well go and appreciate the ride home since it seems that Logan was willing to give me one.

Gathering up my things, I watched as Logan grabbed the trash and threw it in a nearby trash can. When he walked back over, he picked up the muffin and put it back in the bag, carrying it along with our drinks.

I shoved my backpack on my back, the weight immediately putting pressure on my back. It wasn't as bad as when I first had all my textbooks, but it was still pretty heavy considering I brought all my textbooks to get caught up. Now that I'm caught up, I can leave some in my locker overnight when I don't need them, or even at home if I know I'm not going to need them for the day.

We exited the library, and I sent a smile to the older lady sitting behind the counter. She looked like a younger version of the librarian at Riverway High, but at the same time very different. I didn't even know her name, so for all I know they could be related.

The August air was nice. It was slightly chilly, but warmer than the air conditioning inside the building I was just in. The sunlight shined down over our heads, causing the top of my head to burn up from the heat. It felt nice, however, made it a little hard to see as it caused me to squint when looking ahead of me.

Logan's jeep was parked pretty close to the front, so it wasn't much of a walk to the vehicle. He went over to the driver's seat as he usually did, and once I heard it unlock, I did as I'd done a few times now and threw my backpack in before getting in myself.

It was hot in the car, probably because it had been basking in the sun while we were in the library. The heat didn't last long, as when Logan started the car, the air began to fill the small space. It was still cold since he'd most likely been using it when he was driving around before coming to the library.

Music filled the air, a popular radio song filling my ears. It wasn't a bad song, just one that was very overplayed for sure. I tapped my fingers together to the beat, glad there wasn't some awkward silence between us.

"Are you excited for Friday?" Logan asked, breaking the silence. His deep voice drowned out the radio, making me forget about the tune completely.

"What?" I asked, looking over at him.

"The event for our parents," He said.

"Oh, right, yeah. I've never been," I said.

"Really? How long has your dad been with the company?" He asked, glancing over at me every once in a while as we drove in the direction of my house.

"A long time, but he's just recently become as high as he is," I told him. "All this is new to me, the big house, the money, all of it."

"It's not as crazy as it sounds. Usually, it's just a bunch of people dressing fancy and acting like they're better than everyone else." He shrugged.

"That totally makes it comforting," I sarcastically said with a roll of my eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that," He said, not seeming to understand my sarcasm. "I just mean it's a bunch of rich people gathering for a meal and a couple of announcements regarding the business. A couple of people talk, there's some dancing."

"Dancing?" I asked.

"Yeah, like proper dancing, I guess," He said. "There's a bar and food as well. It's basically just a social event for everyone and their families that are involved in the company."

I didn't say anything, not having anything to say. His words didn't make me feel any better about the event, not that they were supposed to. I think he was just trying to help me get a better understanding of it, which did give me some. I don't know what I was expecting, but then again, I haven't given it much thought since we went to the mall and bought my dress for it.

We eventually pulled up to my house, and I frowned as I saw my mother's car in the driveway. My fathers was still gone, meaning my mother was either here by herself, or here with Jason.

Logan, seeming to notice the way I refused to leave the seat, glanced at the door. "Everything okay?" He looked back at me, his brows raised.

"My mom's home," I murmured.

Logan didn't say anything, and I just assumed he didn't know what to say. Deciding we'd been sitting here long enough, I threw the door open and unbuckled my seatbelt. "I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for the ride."

"Aurora, wait-"

"I think Paige might pick me up in the morning, I don't know though. Sorry to put you through the trouble of driving me around." I cut him off, not wanting to hear what he has to say.

Logan stopped talking after that, seeming to understand that I didn't want to talk about it. He just looked at me with a sad look as I pulled my belongings from the car, shutting the door once I was done.

I didn't look back at Logan as I walked up the sidewalk and to the door, knowing he was probably waiting for me to get inside. Once I entered, I noticed my mother in the kitchen making dinner.

"You were gone for a long time," She shortly said.

I sighed in relief as I saw Jason sitting on the living room couch, meaning she was going to be much easier on me than she would if he weren't here.

"I was doing my homework at the library," I told her.

"Who dropped you off? That wasn't Paige's car," She said.

"Remember the one who left his car here yesterday? It was Logan's," I responded. I stayed still in the foyer, almost too afraid to move. I didn't know if she planned on putting a jab at me or acting as if she loved me because Jason was in the room, but I felt like moving would trigger something I didn't know about.

"Logan Jackson. That's your father's co-worker's son," She didn't look up at me as she spoke, putting her focus on cutting the onions on the cutting board.

"Yeah, he'll be at the event Friday," I said.

"Well, you better be on your best behavior. I'll be very upset if you make your father and the rest of this family look like a fool at the event knowing how important it is to him," She said.

I didn't say anything, and instead just rolled my eyes and headed up the stairs. I don't know why she's so worried about me making a fool of the family at the event when I do literally everything she says.

It's just ridiculous, and my brain hurts too much to focus on that right now.

When I entered my room, I smiled as I was finally having the rest of the day to myself. I'm not used to having this much interaction with people, and although it's not a bad thing, it did make me miss my alone time quite a bit.

Even if the alone time will only last from now until dinner, and then again from after dinner until tomorrow morning when I do it all again. It's nice and I can feel like myself, ignoring what awaits me at Riverway High tomorrow.

Sometimes I just wish I could pause time. Or honestly, even fast forward to the time when I can be at that point in life where I'm happy and I don't have to worry about grades, my mother, or even the bullies.

I know that bullies will always exist, no matter the age. But high school bullies are brutal, almost like they're a completely different species.

As I set my backpack on the fluffy butterfly chair in my room, I opened it to get my backpack ready for the next day. Since I was done doing homework, I can at least prep my backpack for the morning so I don't have to do it later.

I organized everything that got unorganized throughout the day and made sure I had all the homework, folders, and textbooks I needed. My fingers grazed the feeling of leather, and it was then that I realized that the book I found at the beginning of PE still sat untouched.

Pulling it out, I forgot all about my backpack and walked over to my bed. I sat down, tracing my fingertips over the front of it. It was just about the same size as my old one, except maybe a few centimeters bigger. I opened it, hoping to see a note from whoever had left it, but was left filled with disappointment as I saw that there was nothing.

No note, no typed-out letter, nothing. It was completely blank, almost as if it wasn't intended to be any type of gift. But there was no way it just accidentally found its way into my bag, considering it was always zipped up if I wasn't digging in it, and I most certainly didn't put this in there.

Then I realized, where was my destroyed notepad?

I jumped off of my bed, leaving the new sketchbook on the top of my fluffy blue comforter as I began to dig through my belongings. I looked everywhere, even in places that it wouldn't be such as my makeup vanity, my homework desk, and my closet.

Even the bathroom, and in all of the purses that had yet to be touched since I moved to Riverway. It was nowhere to be seen, and as I looked in the black purse I'd used the night of the party, the realization hit me.

I left it on Carter's bathroom counter.