Jeongguk wanted to believe that he'd already hit rock bottom once in his life. He believed that once you hit rock bottom once, you couldn't hit rock bottom again.

One time, you reach your lowest of lows one time and from that point forward you'll be home free.

So he figured he was in the clear when he started his morning with a pill or two. He thought he was in the clear when he snorted a few lines to go to sleep. He thought he was in the clear when he had a taste in between clients throughout the day.

He was convinced that he had it under control this time. He had just enough self control not to get so high that he was disoriented, but he was also still impulsive enough to up his dosage every now and then.

It was fine, he was fine. He was working, he was making money, and he had somewhere to stay.

Sure he'd never have Yoongi, and there was no one to fill that empty space inside of him, but he had his pills.

He had Doyun whenever he wanted someone to fuck him and make him feel needed. Even though he was numb from head to toe, he still longed for the feeling he got whenever Doyun used him.

It reminded him that, even when he felt completely useless, he was good for one thing. He wasn't a complete waste of space when he was getting fucked.

Eventually he loses interest in sex all together, but that was fine. Because he still had control over everything else in his life.

Things would never get as bad as they were before so long as he kept that control.

    "I'm hearing a lot of good things from your clients, Jeongguk," Jimin said from where he sat across from him at the kitchen table in Doyun's apartment. "They all seem to really like you."

Jeongguk forced a small smile. "I'm glad."

    "What's your secret, hm?" Jimin asked, his tone shifting into one that Jeongguk never heard him use before. "Or are you just naturally good at everything."

    "I must just be naturally good at everything," Jeongguk shrugged, his mind was too muddle to come up with an actual response to the question. "Some people are just gifted in certain areas I guess."

    "What other areas are you gifted in?" Jimin asked, a smirk playing on his lips.

Jeongguk couldn't recall clearly how he ended up screwing Jimin in Doyun's kitchen while he was just in the other room. But he did remember feeling guilty about it.

    "F-Fuck~"

    "Shut up, he's gonna hear you,"

That entire situation was a blur in his mind, but he didn't really care. After that he went to his room and snorted more pills before he passed out on his bathroom floor.

After a couple months of going about this way Jeongguk started to realize that, maybe, he wasn't holding it together as well as he thought.

It was after a long day of working that Doyun called him and told him to come over with Yoongi. It was a strange request, Yoongi and Doyun barely talked to each other unless they pissed each other off.

When he got back to the apartment with Yoongi, Doyun was sitting down on the couch with his arms crossed.

    "What's this all about?" Jeongguk asked as he sat down on the couch furthest from him.

    "Sit down, Yoongi," Doyun said without breaking eye contact with Jeongguk.

Jeongguk frowned as he watched Yoongi sit down beside Doyun, looking down at his hands nervously. "What's going on?"

    "Why don't you tell me, Jeongguk," Doyun said. "What's going on?"

    "Can you just tell me what the problem is?" Jeongguk asked. "I'm not in the mood for this shit, Doyun."

    "Yoongi told me what you've been up to," Doyun said. "Care to explain, Jeongguk?"

    "What the hell do you mean?" Jeongguk asked, his eyes landing on Yoongi. "What have I been up to, Yoongi?"

    "I found the pills, Jeongguk," Yoongi said, finally looking up at him. "The pills you take when you're working."

    "And I found the ones in your room," Doyun said. "Are you still playing dumb? Or are you gonna admit that you've been using?"

    "What the fuck is this supposed to be?" Jeongguk asked, sitting back in his seat and laughing at the two of them. "Some kind of fucking intervention?"

Doyun reached into his pocket and grabbed the pill bottle he found in Jeongguk's bathroom, setting it on the table. "How long?"

    "Yoongi, you have some fucking nerve snitching on me," Jeongguk said looking at him with a harsh expression. "Like you weren't just telling me how much you fucking hate Doyun the other day. Did you know that, Doyun?"

    "Jeongguk," Yoongi started.

    "No, did you, Doyun?" Jeongguk continued. "He told me that he thinks you have a weird ass hero complex and you want to save everybody. What'd you call him, Yoongi? A perverted creep? Or wait that wasn't it...something about him going after minors? What was it, Yoongi?"

    "This isn't about me, Jeongguk," Yoongi said firmly. "You promised you wouldn't do this."

    "Who gives a fuck, Yoongi," Jeongguk snapped, sitting forward in his seat. "You don't get to rat me out like I didn't put you here~"

    "That's enough, Jeongguk," Doyun said. "This has nothing to do with Yoongi. We had an agreement~"

    "I did what you asked me to, Doyun, I got sober like you asked me to," Jeongguk said. "I tried, I just can't fucking do it, okay?"

    "You don't have a choice," Doyun said. "You can't work for me while you're on these."

    "I've been doing it for weeks now and I'm doing fine," Jeongguk said. "Jimin said my clients like me."

    "Jimin wants to fuck you,"

    "Yeah, and he did,"

Doyun clenched his jaw, his eyes darkening as Jeongguk laughed shortly. "What?"

    "He fucked me, Doyun," Jeongguk repeated. "He fucked me in the kitchen while you were right here in the living room~"

    "You fucking~!" Doyun snapped, lunging at Jeongguk.

    "No, Doyun!" Yoongi screamed, standing and grabbing his arm.

    "Let him fucking do it!" Jeongguk shouted shoving Yoongi away. "Let him do it, Yoongi!"

"Doyun," Yoongi said. "That isn't what this is about."

"You always manage to fuck up a good thing, Jeongguk, that's all you know how to do," Doyun said angrily. "I've given you chance after chance and you just keep screwing up over and over again. Are you an idiot or something?"

"Just give me my shit and I'll leave," Jeongguk said reaching for the pill bottle.

"Believe me," Doyun said grabbing the bottle. "If you didn't sign that fucking contract you would've been history a long time ago."

"Give them to me, Doyun," Jeongguk said, his mind only focused on getting the pills back. "Just give them to me."

"No," Doyun said walking out of the living room.

"Doyun," Jeongguk said, going to follow him before Yoongi stopped him by his arm.

"Stop, Jeongguk," He said, tears welling in his eyes. "Please~"

"You stop, Yoongi," Jeongguk said shoving him away. "This is your fucking fault! You think you can just stab me in the back, huh? Y'know, I always knew you weren't shit. You're a manipulative son of a bitch~"

"I didn't~" Yoongi started.

"Doyun!" Jeongguk shouted before following him to his room, where he found him shuffling through his things. "Stop it, Doyun!" He yelled, trying to pull him away from the drawer as he watched him pull out different packages and different bottles of pills.

"You don't get to do this, Jeongguk," Doyun said pushing him off. "You don't get to fuck up over and over again."

"Give them to me!" Jeongguk screamed, trying desperately to grab the pills as Doyun walked to the bathroom. "N-No, please, don't do this to me."

"Stop it, Jeongguk," Yoongi said, appearing from down the hall and pulling Jeongguk off of Doyun. "We're trying to help you."

"I don't want your fucking help!" Jeongguk yelled, tears falling from his own eyes when he hears the toilet flushing behind the bathroom door. "No," He cried, pulling away from Yoongi and trying to open the door. "Please don't, Doyun."

Yoongi pressed his lips together, swallowing hard as he watched Jeongguk kick the door repeatedly, throwing his entire body against it until it flew open. "Jeongguk," He said weakly, there was nothing else he could say.

"Give them to me," Jeongguk cried as he looked around the bathroom. "You didn't flush them, Doyun, I know you didn't. Fucking give them to me."

"They're gone, Jeongguk," Doyun said. "You need to get some help."

"Why the fuck do you keep saying that?" Jeongguk shouted, shoving Doyun as hard as he could. "You don't think I know that?"

"Stop," Doyun said, trying hard not to snap and completely lose his composure as he pushed past Jeongguk out of the bathroom. "Come on, Yoongi."

Yoongi let Doyun pull him into a spare bedroom before he closed the door and locked it.

"What are we going to do?" Yoongi asked looking up at him.

"Wait," Doyun said sitting on the bed. "He'll calm down or leave eventually."

"Should we let him leave?" Yoongi asked. "What if something happens?"

Doyun shook his head, leaning forward and putting his hands over his face. "There's nothing we can do, Yoongi."

"I see what the fuck this is, I see now," Jeongguk said through the door. "You two think you can team up against me or something? You're fucking...you're fucking stupid if you think that's gonna work."

"We're trying to help you," Yoongi said.

"Don't respond, Yoongi," Doyun whispered.

"You think you can help me, Yoongi?" Jeongguk asked. "How the fuck are you supposed to help me? I'm the one helping your sorry ass."

Doyun shook his head at Yoongi. "Just let him talk," he whispered. "He'll leave eventually."

"I can fucking hear you, Doyun," Jeongguk laughed. "Do you want me to leave? Huh? Because I can make that happen easily. I've been trying to leave you for months now, you just never let me go."

Doyun remained silent as Jeongguk continued.

"I'll leave," Jeongguk said. "I know I'm a fuck up, Doyun. I told you that from the beginning. I'm a fucked up person. Jimin was right when he said there was no good in me...there isn't. I don't want to be like this...I just can't help it, Doyun."

Yoongi sighed, walking and sitting down on the edge of the bed as tears formed in his eyes again.

"I don't like the person I've become since coming to Seoul, I wasn't always like this. You guys...you guys have to believe me," Jeongguk said, he sounded like he was crying. "I-I don't know who I am outside of this. I don't know how to live without getting high...it's just been a part of me now." He continued. "I want to stop, I just don't know how."

He was silent for a moment, sniffling quietly on the other side of the door.

"I need the pills back, Doyun, if you still have them," He cried softly. "Please just give them back and I'll leave."

"They're gone, Jeongguk," Doyun said. "I don't have them."

Jeongguk sighed on the other end of the door but he didn't say anything. He just silent slipped away and left Yoongi and Doyun in a heavy silence.