When Jeongguk turned fourteen his mom and dad were out of town. When he turned fifteen, they completely forgot it was even his birthday.

To be fair, he almost forgot too.

"Where are you going?" His mom asked as he walked to the front door to leave. "Did you clean your room?"

"What's today, ma?" Jeongguk asked as he stepped into his shoes, pulling a hoodie over his head.

"It's Friday," His mom answered. "So, what? That means you can leave whenever you feel like it?"

"Yeah, it does," Jeongguk said rolling his eyes. "Why do you care?"

"I care because you're failing your classes," His mother said crossing her arms with a stern expression. "You need to study, even on weekends."

"It's my birthday," Jeongguk said walking to the front door. "I'm gonna go celebrate. By myself."

When he left that afternoon he wasn't looking for trouble, but trouble somehow found him.

He was walking along the train tracks, waiting for the next train to come by so he could scream at the top of his lungs without being heard. He liked doing that from time to time, it helped to release some of the stress he had built up—all the stress that even excessive masturbation couldn't make go away.

He was waiting for the train when he saw a group of guys walking in his direction. He didn't pay them any mind, hoping they'd ignore him if he ignored them.

But of course, he would never be so lucky.

"What're you doing over here?"

"Did you lose your mommy?"

"You're fucking lame,"

"This kid looks, like, ten. Doesn't he look ten?"

Jeongguk ignores them, stopping and looking down at his shoes. He couldn't walk past them and he didn't want to look like he was running by walking the other way.

"Aren't you, like, twelve, dude?" One of them asked. "Tell them you're twelve."

"I'm fifteen," Jeongguk said, making them all laugh—except one.

"Shut up," He said shoving the guy beside him. "He's obviously dealing with some shit."

"Oh, here goes Seonho, Mr. Bigheart over here," The guy said. "Just say you're a queer and want to fuck him."

"Fuck you, man," He said—Seonho said. "I'm just saying, lay-off the kid."

"Come on, we're gonna try to race the next one," One of them said before the rest of them followed. "Are you coming, Seonho?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna hang back a second," Seonho said, making Jeongguk look up from his shoes. "Don't die unless I'm there."

"Alright, asshole," His friend laughed before they continue down the tracks.

Jeongguk looked at Seonho in confusion. "I~ What do you want?"

"I don't know," He said, laughing shortly. "You look upset. I guess I just wanna know if you're alright."

"Oh," Jeongguk said. "H-How old are you?"

"Sixteen," Seonho said. "I'm Seonho, what's your name?"

"Jeongguk, I-I'm fifteen," Jeongguk repeated. "I just turned fifteen today."

"Really?" Seonho asked. "Is this how you're spending your birthday?"

"Yeah," Jeongguk shrugged. "I was waiting for the next train so I can jump in front of it actually."

Seonho got a disturbed look in his eyes at his comment. "Oh..."

"I was kidding," Jeongguk said awkwardly. "I-I wouldn't do it that way. I'd probably drown myself."

"You're freaking me out," Seonho said, scratching the back of his neck. "You're, like, suicidal or something?"

"Isn't everybody?"

"I don't think so,"

"Oh,"

Jeongguk shrugged, kicking at the rocks beside the train tracks.

"Me and my friends are going down to the end of the tracks," Seonho said. "Wanna come?"

"I don't know," Jeongguk said looking at him skeptically. "I shouldn't, I don't really know you guys."

"You're telling me you'd jump in front of a moving train or drown yourself before you'd hang out with strangers?" Seonho asks. "If you're gonna kill yourself you might as well have a good time before you do."

"What's good about hanging out at the end of the tracks?" Jeongguk asked. "The train won't come there."

"We're gonna get high," Seonho said. "Since it's your birthday I'll let you smoke for free."

"Wha~ W-Well, no," Jeongguk said. "I'm only fifteen, my dad will kill me."

"I'm sixteen, and I won't tell your daddy," Seonho said. "Come on, don't be a little bitch."

Seonho laughed but Jeongguk's face remained straight. "I'm not a little bitch."

"Alright, I was kidding, but okay," Seonho said. "I'm not gonna beg you to come with, I'm just telling you that you're missing out on a good time. It's your birthday, and obviously no one gives a shit. You might as well come feel good with the rest of us."

Jeongguk watched him walk away for a moment before he followed, jogging a bit to catch up with him. "Will you make sure I get home?"

Seonho stopped, facing him and looking him up and down. "Yeah, I promise." He said holding his hand out. "I won't let anything bad happened to you."

"You better not," Jeongguk said before continuing down the tracks, ignoring his hand.

"Punk," He laughed, throwing his arm over his shoulder as they continues down the tracks together.

Jeongguk got high for the first time that night. He didn't think much of it as it was happening, but he knew that he never wanted the feeling to go away.

~

Jeongguk started spending most of his time away from home after he met Seonho. They would go to the end of the train tracks even when their friends weren't there.

He liked being with Seonho, and he liked getting high even more.

"Do you like me?" Seonho asked as they laid on the gravel looking up at the sky—higher than they really should be in the middle of the day.

"You know I like you," Jeongguk answered, watching in awe as the clouds moved across the sky in slow motion.

"No, I mean...do you like like me," Seonho asked. "More than a friend would."

Jeongguk fell silent, his heart sinking. He did like Seonho, he just didn't know how he would react to that. "D-Do you like me?"

"Yeah," Seonho laughed. "I wouldn't be asking if I didn't."

"Why?" Jeongguk asked, making him laugh again.

"Because, you get me, Jeongguk," He said. "No one else understands me like you do. I feel like you listen to me without judging me...and you don't think I'm a bad person for being gay."

"Do your friends think you a bad person?" Jeongguk asked, he didn't want them to find out about him if they treated Seonho badly.

"No, but they're all kinds of fucked up," Seonho said. "You're the only good person that doesn't think I'm a bad person."

"Oh..." Jeongguk said. "Well...y-yeah, I like you."

"Really?" Seonho asked, looking over at him. "Are you messing with me?"

"No," Jeongguk said, watching as Seonho sat up and looked down at him. "I like you, for real."

"Cool," He said with a smile. "Do you wanna kiss me?"

"I-I've never~"

"It's easy, I'll show you,"

Jeongguk sat up hesitantly, his head spinning as he looked at Seonho. "I've never kissed a boy."

"You've kissed a girl?" Seonho asked, moving closer.

"No," Jeongguk said. "It looks easy in porn though."

"It's not that much different from porn I guess," Seonho shrugs. "Close your eyes."

Jeongguk hesitated but he let his eyes fall shut. "Now what?"

"Now, shut up," Seonho said.

Jeongguk fell silent, waiting until he felt Seonho's lips on his. He pulled away, his eyes wide open as he looked at Seonho in shock.

Seonho laughed before leaning in again, kissing him softly for a moment before pulling away. "Was that okay?"

"Yeah," Jeongguk nodded, his heart hammering in his chest. "I think that was better than porn."

"I think you're addicted to porn," Seonho said before standing. "Come on, I'll walk you halfway. My stepdad's gonna want me back before the street lights come on."

"It's not even five," Jeongguk said standing. "Are you ditching me?"

"No, I pissed him off the other day so I'm trying to get back on his good side," Seonho said taking Jeongguk's hand. "I'd never ditch you, Jeongguk. We're gonna be together for a long time."

"Together how?" Jeongguk asked.

"Like you're gonna be my boyfriend," Seonho said swinging their arms.

"My dad would kill me," Jeongguk said looking down at their hands. "He'd probably have a heart attack if he knew I even kissed you."

"My stepdad would make me live on the streets if he knew," Seonho said. "We don't have to tell them. We can meet here and be boyfriends and go back to being scared when we go home."

"You're scared at home too?" Jeongguk asked.

"Yeah, terrified," Seonho said. "Parents want you to be scared. If they didn't make you scared they wouldn't be able to control you."

"Oh," Jeongguk said. "I was hoping we could stay out longer."

"Why?" Seonho asked. "Something happen?"

"The money I gave you to give to Sal," Jeongguk started. "It wasn't mine. I took out of my mom's purse."

"It's fine," Seonho shrugged. "It's just forty bucks, she probably won't even notice it's gone."

Seonho dropped Jeongguk off a block away from his house that day before heading back to his own.

Jeongguk sighed as he reluctantly walked back home. Judging by the numerous missed calls and text messages he had from his mom, she definitely noticed.