Four days.

He was gone for four days according to his parents and the police officer that found him and Seonho sleeping on the gravel by the train tracks.

After they dragged him home his father got ahold of him good. He made sure that he wouldn't even think twice about pulling this kind of stunt again.

But Jeongguk didn't care that his parents were upset. All he cared about was finding more cocaine and getting so high that he forgot his own name.

"Are you listening to me?" His dad screamed, pushing him against the wall when he tried to walk away. "You're fifteen years old, you don't get to disappear for days on end like this. You know your mother's sick, you can't worry her like this."

"I already said I wouldn't do it again, what the fuck do you want from me?" Jeongguk snapped, trying to push his dad away. "I don't know what else you want from me!"

"You're out of control," His dad said grabbing him by the arm before he dragged him up the stairs. "You're not leaving this house until I say so."

"No," Jeongguk shouted, fighting against him as hard as he could. "Why do you hate me so fucking much? What'd I ever do to you?"

"Stop it!" His dad screamed, holding him by both his shoulders and shaking him. "What's the matter with you? Are you on drugs?"

"Yes, not that you give a shit," Jeongguk said, still fighting to get out of his grasp. "You don't care about me, so why are you always trying to control me!?"

"Get in the room," His dad said through clenched teeth, shoving him inside before slamming the door shut. "I don't want to see you or hear you until your mother comes to talk to you! Do you understand me?"

"Fuck you!" Jeongguk screamed at the top of his lungs, kicking his room door repeatedly. "I hate you! I fucking hate both of you! I wish you were dead!"

He didn't hear his dad walk away, but he eventually calmed down enough to realize that he was gone.

He stood from the ground and walked over to his window, trying to push it open only to find it locked.

He cried out in frustration before falling onto his bed. He was exhausted and he just wanted to get away from this house and these people.

He hated them, and he hated it here.

~

"Where is it?"

"I don't know,"

Jeongguk kept a straight face as he sat at the kitchen table, watching his mom pace back and forth with tears in her eyes.

"I need you to be honest with me, Jeongguk," She said, her voice trembling. "I won't be mad, just tell me what you did with it."

"I don't know, maybe you lost it while you were out," Jeongguk said looking down at his hands as he picked at his fingernails.

"I never take it off when I'm out, Jeongguk," His mom said, her voice laced with frustration. "I haven't lost that ring for the seventeen years that I've had it."

"Well I guess you got unlucky all of a sudden," Jeongguk said. "Why do you always blame me when something around here goes missing?"

Jeongguk knew exactly where the ring was, or who he gave it to at least. He had no idea what Seonho was going to do with it but he knew they could get high for a long time with the money they'd get for the expensive jewelry.

"I won't be mad, bun," His mom said sitting down at the table, putting her hand over his. "Do you still have it?"

"I already said I don't fucking have it," He said snatching his hand away. "I don't know where the stupid ring is. Maybe you lost it because you should've never got married in the first place."

"Don't say that," His mom said. "You are so disrespectful, Jeongguk, it's disgusting the way you talk to me. I'm your mother."

"You're only a mother when you feel like it," Jeongguk said standing from the table. "I didn't take the ring, so don't ask me about it again."

"Go to your room," His mom said standing. "I don't know what's gotten into lately but I've had enough. Your father will deal with you when he gets home."

"What, are you gonna tell him to hit me again?" Jeongguk asked. "Are you gonna make him tell me to leave?"

"You're going to see a psychiatrist, like he said," His mom said. "I've been talking him out of it long enough."

"Oh so now I'm crazy?" Jeongguk snapped. "Screw both of you."

"Go, Jeongguk!" His mom shouted, tears brimming in her eyes as she pointed to the stairs.

"I'll kill myself before I let you lock me up somewhere," He said, mostly just see his mother cry harder. He wanted her to hurt like he was hurting right now.

If he couldn't make her care, he wanted to make her hurt.

~

"I'm gonna take a bunch of shit before we leave,"

"They'll notice if you do that. I don't want the police coming after us for stealing."

Jeongguk sighed as he continued to stuff as many clothes as he could into his backpack.

"Are you sure you wanna go?" Seonho asked from the other line, his slurred speech telling Jeongguk that he was using.

"I won't ever be happy until I get away from here," Jeongguk responded. "I can't be myself here, and I'm done hiding who I am."

    "It's just...we don't really have anywhere to go." Seonho said. "What if we leave and we're on the street?"

    "I gave you the ring, I'm gonna take some more stuff to get us by for a little while," Jeongguk said. "Long enough for one of us to figure out how to make money."

"Alright," Seonho said. "I'll come get you tomorrow night~"

"Jeongguk?"

Jeongguk flinched at the sound of his dad's voice. "I'll be ready," He said quickly before ending the call.

"Who were you talking to?" His dad asked as he walked into the room.

"No one," Jeongguk responded, closing his closet door and standing there awkwardly.

"Your mother told me what happened," His dad said crossing his arms. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"I don't know where her ring is, dad," Jeongguk said. "I already told her that."

"Come here, son," His dad sighed, sitting down on his bed.

Jeongguk hesitated before going to sit beside his dad. "I didn't take the ring."

"I don't believe you, Jeongguk," His dad said, he didn't sound angry, but the exhaustion in his voice hurt more than the anger he was expecting. "I know it isn't your fault...I know you're dealing with a lot of emotions and you're doing everything you can to try and numb those emotions. I can't help you, your mother can't help you, but there are people out there who can~"

"What are you saying?" Jeongguk asked, immediately becoming defensive. "I already told mom that I'm not going to some crazy hospital."

"It's not a crazy hospital, Jeongguk," His dad said. "It's a rehab facility, people go there to get help all the time."

"Rehab? Are you serious?"

"Before you say no~"

"You really think you can come in here and act like you give a shit all of a sudden?"

His dad sighed, shaking his head as he fell silent for a moment. "You're driving us up the walls here, Jeongguk. You're stealing from us, cursing at us, disappearing for days at a time...at some point, if you don't get help, you're going to have to go stay with your uncle until your mother is well again."

"So you're kicking me out?" Jeongguk asked. "Really? That's what you wanted this whole time, isn't it? To finally get rid of your disappointment of a son."

"You have a choice~"

"I fucking hate you guys anyway," He said as he stood and walked to his closet. "If you want me gone then I'm gone. You didn't have to come in here acting all 'world's best dad' and shit. I'm gone."

"You're killing us, Jeongguk~"

"Good, you've been killing me for my entire life."

He grabbed a few more clothes and his backpack before he stormed out of the house.

"Where are you going?" His mother said when she saw him leaving. "W-Where is he going? Juwan, what did you do?"

He left that night to the sounds of his mother begging his father to go after him, to stop him from leaving.

But he didn't feel bad. He felt like a weight was finally being lifted from his shoulders as he walked away.

He felt freer than he ever had, and he didn't look back once.