"I hate it here..."

    "That's too bad,"

Jeongguk shook his head, drying his tears as he trailed behind Seonho in the streets of Seoul. They had been there for almost a year and Jeongguk still wasn't adjusting.

Seonho kept saying that he would adjust, that he just needed time to get used to being in a new city. But even after all this time he despised Seoul.

    "Why are you fucking crying again?" Seonho asked in aggravation. "What is it?"

    "You don't even care~"

    "What the fuck am I supposed to do about you hating it here? We're here now."

Jeongguk didn't respond as he followed Seonho back to the old rundown apartment building that they paid for by the week. It was dirty, hot on warm nights, freezing on cold, and it was small. But they weren't sleeping outside anymore, that was a plus.

The only downside is that they both had to pull their equal weight when it came to paying rent. Seonho was getting popular on the drug scene and had numerous regulars that bought from him everyday. But he never let Jeongguk get involved with handling drugs, leaving him to find his own ways to make money.

    "How much did you make today?" Seonho asked as he lined up some oxycontin on the kitchen counter.

    "$85," Jeongguk said putting the money on the counter before snorting a line. The only thing that helped him escape from how disgusting he felt was how amazing he felt when he got high.

    "Not bad," Seonho said as he did the same, sighing before dumping more of the crushed pills on the counter. "Better than yesterday."

Jeongguk didn't have many options when it came to making money fast. When Seonho's friend mentioned sex work he was immediately opposed to the idea, he wasn't even seventeen yet.

    "People pay more for the young ones," Seonho's friend said. "You'd be surprised."

It took Seonho an entire week to convince him to try it. Eventually he gave in, as he usually did when Seonho asked him to do something.

So, one random summer night that he couldn't recall clearly, he lost his virginity to a stranger for thirty bucks. Then he got so high his soul disconnected from his body.

    "You did a good thing," Seonho said. "We wouldn't have anywhere to go if you didn't do it."

Since then Jeongguk has made it a point to hang around those dark alleyways and smile at random people to see who would take interest. He didn't expect anyone to actually want to pay to have sex with him, but he was surprised that there were people out there sick enough to pay any price to go down on him.

After people heard that Jeongguk was Seonho's boyfriend people actually started contacting him instead. Leaving the money part for Seonho to figure out most of the time.

Jeongguk hated how willing Seonho was to hand him off to a stranger, but he knew that he had no choice. He didn't want to sleep outside again.

    "There's three guys that want to come over tomorrow," Seonho said as he counted the money they made that day. "They're throwing around some pretty big offers."

    "Okay..." Jeongguk said staring off from where he was leaning on the counter next to Seonho.

    "Are you out of it?" Seonho asked, looking at him briefly before going back to counting. "Go lay down if you're gonna pass out."

    "No," Jeongguk said. "I just hate doing things like that with people for money. When I haven't even done it with you. You're supposed to be my boyfriend."

    "You are my boyfriend," Seonho said. "You know why things are like this, Jeongguk. We have to make money somehow."

    "That's not my point," Jeongguk said. "It just makes me upset that you don't touch me the way those strangers do."

    "I have bigger things to worry about," Seonho said insensitively. "You're out of your head, Gguk, go lay down. Now."

    "If you don't want to fuck me just say that," Jeongguk said walking out of the kitchen. "Don't be a bitch and give me excuses."

    "Alright, man," Seonho said without looking up from the money he was counting. "Keep that same attitude when you're snorting up all my shit."

    "Fuck you," Jeongguk said laying down on the bed, keeping his back to Seonho as tears fell from his eyes.

He hated himself for doing the things he did for money. He hated it even more that he hadn't even experienced those things with someone who was supposed to love him.

~

As days passed and weeks slipped by without him noticing much, things got progressively worse for Jeongguk living in Seoul.

There were times that he couldn't get out of bed for days at a time. He had no motivation or any interest in living his life. It was easy for him to blame it on the drugs, he was using more and more and doing things that he never thought he would turn to.

But when the pain was unbearable he didn't see any other option for himself.

    "What is it?" Seonho asked one night after he had been trying to force him to get up and go make them some money. Business was bad during this time for Seonho and the only way they could keep pulling in enough money for rent and drugs was if Jeongguk went out and made something happen.

    "Stop, Seonho," Jeongguk said, sitting down on the couch with his knees pulled to his chest. "I already told you that I'm not going out tonight~"

    "You don't have a choice, Jeongguk," Seonho groaned. "We're in a tough spot right now, do you realize that?"

    "Do you realize what I'm going through?" Jeongguk asked, frustrated tears jumping into his eyes. "I'm seventeen years old, okay? I don't want to be sleeping with a dozen people every fucking week."

    "You think I want to be chasing dope all day at eighteen? Risking my life everyday to make sure we have a place to stay?" Seonho asked. "You act like you're running this shit by yourself!"

    "I'm not saying that! You don't know what it's like~"

    "Oh, I don't know what it's like? Are you fucking serious?"

    "Leave me alone," Jeongguk said, his throat tightening as he held back his tears. "I go through shit that you'll never understand, Seonho."

    "I ask you all the time if you want to talk to me about it but you always say no," Seonho said. "How can I understand something you never talk about?"

    "Why would I want to talk to you about what I do with other people for money?" Jeongguk asked. "It's embarrassing, and I hate myself for it."

    "So what do you want me to do?" Seonho asked throwing up his hands. "Do you want me to bring you with me to sell? I guarantee you that you'll see some shit you'll never be able to unsee."

    "I feel like I'm getting raped every time one of those people touch me~"

    "What the hell is this, Jeongguk? A fucking competition? You think you're more fucked up than me?"

Jeongguk didn't bother responding, Seonho was never going to understand the mental and physical strain of using his body to make money.

    "If you can't pay up you can get out, it's that simple," Seonho said walking away from the conversation.

    "You think I need you, Seonho?" Jeongguk asked. "I don't fucking need you."

    "Yeah right," Seonho said as he plopped down on the bed, laying with his back to Jeongguk. "If you don't need me leave then. Find someone else that'll get you high."

    "Maybe I will," Jeongguk said standing. "I might actually find someone who wants better for me, Seonho."

    "With your luck you'll find someone that's gonna shoot you up with ajax and leave you dead in the street." Seonho said. "I'd sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up if I were you."

    "Fuck you," Jeongguk said grabbing his backpack from the ground before leaving the rundown apartment. When he left that day it was never his intention to leave for good.

But that night he met someone that was going to change his life forever.