We are changed you know
Just like everyone you know

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

•1st pov•

"Love is wonderful.

It's one of the purest sources of happiness, of selflessness. It's what keeps the heart beating, pulsing waves of emotions, of needs.

Needs to give all that you have for the person you love. To do your best in making that person happy, to be there for them. Love them, cherish them, respect them, and put them above all.

Love is good.

No matter how down you might be feeling, love helps. Love picks up all the falling pieces and brings them back together. It keeps us alive, it gives us a motive, a purpose.

Love is kind.

It's gentle. Caressing the heart with feather-touches. Flooding the body with a surge of soft, comforting, warm, and fuzzy feelings.

Yet despite its gentleness, it's fiery. Do you know that feeling of wanting to fly and reach higher up in the sky? That's exactly how love feels like, at least for me.

It brings me over the edge. I feel strong, unbreakable, unstoppable. Once I trust, once I open that window, it bursts out. It breaks all the boundaries, all the rules, all the restraints.

Love is precious.

It has no price and knows no limits. I keep it, everywhere. Inside my heart, clouding my mind, watering my soul, and healing my body. And because I have so much of it, I never hesitate to leave a piece of it.

Anywhere I go, anybody I meet, anytime I can, anything I touch. It stays there, defining me, and holding proof of my feelings, a proof that I was here, that I trusted you, that I loved you."

"Baby?" A deep yet soft voice steers me out of my daze.

I pause my writing and look over my shoulder. Greeted with a wide smile, I can't help but reciprocate it.

"Breakfast is ready."

"I'll be there in a minute." I smile before resuming my task.

"I never forget the people that pass by in my life. Whether they have stayed or left, they are always present in my memories. Every face is rooted in my heart, weaving with the branches created by my golden love.

My heart is a garden. Full of beautiful flowers and butterflies that never get tired of sprinkling tickles and tingles. They vowed to always keep those memories alive.

The colors of love are vibrant, sizzling in the heat of sunshine that fills the cracks because surprisingly enough, love hurts, it breaks. When unfortunate, you fall, you crumble.

And it's okay. It's okay to stumble down, it's natural to ride a bumpy road. You don't always get lucky, you know. The dreams and future plans can vanish into thin air at any given moment.

But, give it time. Accept it and grow out of it. Sometimes, it hurts less to let go than to keep holding on. And if you do it right, you'll realize that even though love hurts, it heals as well.

Self-love comes first and never second. If you love yourself enough, you will be able to hold yourself, to help yourself. Fish yourself out of that deep sorrow caused by a loved one.

I love myself, I do. I never thought I could but here I am. Here I am feeling happier than ever. Proud of myself for what I have accomplished so far. Content for the way I have built my life, leaning on a strong base that's never bound to lose balance.

Love is still with me. It's around me, within me.

I am happy and ironically enough, the reason I am happy right now is the same reason that saddened me. I fell, I broke and I cried. I was hopeless and doubtful. Confused and hurt but I was kind towards myself.

I grew, I learned and I'm still learning. I discovered my value and I realized how worthy I was, I am and I always will be. I never forget, I just gather the experiences with me as I go.

All of this—all of this development, growth, and evolution goes to my first love. They say that you never forget your first love. You never forget how they made you feel whether it is a good or a bad feeling.

I still remember you. Sometimes, images of your face still flash by me. And I smile because I owe it to you, Park Jimin. I owe it all to you.

You were my first love and just like how you showed me love, you showed me heartbreak. I remember that I was so caught up in your love that I forgot about myself, about my dreams, desires, and ambitions.

You sure made me feel pretty, loved, and invincible. I don't deny that your love gave me comfort but it also opened my eyes after blinding me for so long.

Thanks to you, I was able to arrive at where I am right now. Emotionally stronger because now I always put myself first. You were not my happy ending as I always dreamt of but you were my happy beginning.

It ended with you but everything began after you.

Now that I'm thinking about it, you were my happy ending. Because happy endings don't necessarily mean staying with the person you love until the end of the path. Happy endings can also be discerned as contentment in parting ways.

I hope you found your way. After all these years, I am still happy. And I hope you're happy too."

I put the pen down and stare lovingly at my raw feelings displayed on the paper. I feel good despite having a blurry vision. I dry my eyes from the tears swimming in them. They are happy tears, that's for sure.

My stomach suddenly starts to tickle and I bring my hands down to rub it, feeling the rapid kicks of the lively baby growing inside of me. I'm happy; I have everything I need. Everything I have ever wished for is here with me and I always will be grateful.

I let the smile tug up at the corners of my mouth and fold my paper, getting on my feet in the process. I leave the room and stride slowly towards the crackling fireplace.

The paper finds its home between the flames, burning gently yet quickly, bringing the fire to life yet killing down twinkling feelings that weighted down on my chest for too long.

There's no specific reason that led me to write. I just felt like emptying out my heart and it has never felt this alive before.

I am happy. 

I hope you're happy too, Park Jimin.

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