"This is fucking crazy," Natalie spoke as we walked through the mall together. It was just her and I, hanging out to not only get dresses for the wedding but also catch up on some things. I also needed to talk to her about something really important, something I've yet to tell anyone. "Like seriously, Pete getting married?! Who'd have known. I once had a thing with him!" She continued on about the topic, failing to noticed I'd slowed down.

"I know," I just mumbled, finding another dress store. We went in, failing to find anything either of us were into. Well, she didn't like anything that was there, I did but I couldn't fit anything.

"What's the color scheme again?" Natalie asked, as if she hadn't already asked the question three times before. We began to walk down the main aisles of the mall again, me having to slow down every once in a while. She didn't even take notice, thankfully. It was one of the few times I was glad Natalie could be really oblivious.

"I'm pretty sure just white and black. At least that's what I think Teddy told me." I shrugged, taking in a deep breath.

"On a real note, you're sure you're not still upset?" Natalie asked, changing the subject. Her tone was suddenly serious, and I was beginning to get annoyed. We've already talked about this, way more than once. "I mean, you're acting weird. I don't want you to still be upset with me and not let me know or anything." Oh, that's why she's asking again.

Obviously I'm not mad about it anymore. I mean I was upset for a good few weeks, but I'm genuinely not anymore. If I were, I wouldn't be here with her right now. I was in a really rough patch three months ago. I'd got broken up with and left for someone I called my best friend through all of middle and high school, was helping my parents take down a sorority and on top of that what had happened at the party, which I still refuse to talk about with anyone minus that one time with Nash in the hospital.

"I'm not, Nat. It's not that, I promise." I looked over at her, seeing a worried expression etched onto her features.

"You say that, but it just feels like you are. There's obviously something wrong, and I want to help with with whatever it is. I really am sorry about what happened, I didn't mean to steal him from you, or whatever. He began to talk to me and I knew it was wrong but then he told me he fell in love with me and I just- I don't know." Natalie began to panic and stopped walking, and I rested a hand on her arm as a way to comfort her.

"I get it. I wasn't in love with Michael. It hurt at first yeah, but he wasn't the first guy I'd slept with that hurt me. At least he attempted to let me down easy. Besides, if I can forgive Nash for what he did to me then there's no reason I shouldn't be able to forgive you, too," I explained. "I mean, besides, you guys are cute and he treats you right, which is all that matters. I just honestly never thought you'd settle down again." We then began to walk again, looking for another dress store.

"Well you know me, I'm wild." She let out a breath. "But, if I have to admit it, I'm always getting anxious thinking that I'm not living my life to the fullest."

"I know you like to live your life as crazy as possible, but how does that tie into you settling down?" I asked as we walked into another store.

"Well, I've always gone from guy to guy, not caring. It began to even get into the way of our friendship. Sure, the feeling was giving me a rush but I began to sleep with less guys, and party less. I didn't want to do that for the rest of my life. Look at how Brooke and Teddy turned out. No offense." She added the last part quickly.

I knew she said it because Teddy and I are the best of friends anymore it seems, and I can get pretty defensive of him for some reason. But he gets the same way about me, quickly than I'd defend him, so, I guess it's not that weird or anything.

"None taken," I finally said with a shrug.

"Anyways, I just realized I'm not living my life to the fullest. I've had my fair share of hooking up. I began to want someone who would treat me the way I'm supposed to be treated. Wake up to the same person everyday and be happy with who I'm with. Maybe even pop out a kid or two." She finished, and I felt my breath hitch at the last part.

Natalie has never wanted kids, never, even when we were little she swore she didn't. So this is something that's definitely changed in her.

"Natalie Seth? Wanting kids? That's new." I let out a chuckle, although it came out weird. She didn't take any notice and just laughed at my response, nudging my arm with hers as we began to look through the dresses.

"So you and Teddy work things out yet? Or is it still just friends?" She asked, glancing up at me.

"There's nothing there," I replied, avoiding eye contact with her. And there never could be, not after the incident.

"Oh, so we're still at that stage." She gave me a wink, and I just looked back down. "I'll check back in a week." I let out a playful scoff, realizing it was now or never to talk to her about what I needed to.

"Hey, can I talk to you? About something seriously serious, I haven't talked about it with anyone. Not even Teddy." I took in a shaky breath, looking around and noticing some girls I used to go to college with. I grabbed Natalie's hand, pulling her out of the store and into the bathroom that was closest to where we were.

"I was actually interested in some of those dresses, I even saw your style, Kiya, what's up?" She asked, not noticing the look on my face. I began to feel nauseous about actually saying what I needed to say out loud, and I leaned against one of the stall doors. "But sounds serious if you haven't talked to anyone yet."

"I won't fit any of those dresses," I let out a breath, looking at the ground as tears clouded my vision.

"Kiya, those dresses are a size four which is your size. You'd fit like, all of them," She said and I looked up at her to see she was looking at me in pure confusion.

"No, I won't Natalie." I began to shake my head.

"Wait, seriously what's going on? Is this - whatever you have to say - why you've been acting so weird lately?" She asked, and I nodded. I took in another shaky breath, looking around and making sure that nobody else was in the bathroom with us. I gripped the bottom of my baggy t-shirt with one hand, grabbing Natalie's hand with the other.

Pulling her closer to me I put her hand up my shirt, resting it on my stomach. Her hand retracted slightly before resting it. "Wait, so you've been gaining weight? Are you depressed? Been eating a lot? Is that why you can't fit the dresses-"

"I'm pregnant, Natalie." I cut her off, biting my lip. Her eyes widened and she looked down to my clothed stomach, before glancing around her. She then lifted my shirt up to see the small baby bump.

"Y-you're p-"

"Don't say it out loud please!" I exclaimed. "I know I did but it was because you weren't understanding."

"I have so many questions, like first of all - what the fuck?!" She pulled her hand away completely, letting the shirt drop. "Second of all, when where and who? And how have you been hiding it so well? This didn't just happen if there's a baby bump."

"Natalie, how long has it been since the incident?" I asked, tears falling. "Since-since I was raped at the party." Her face fell, and she rubbed her forehead.

"So this isn't some hook up you and Teddy had and now you're birthing his child?" She asked, and I shook my head. "Holy shit." She mumbled. "Three months? How long were you planning on hiding this?"

"I don't know, Natalie. I'm scared, okay? I don't know what to do! My parents are going to be devastated and Teddy and-"

"Shh, shh, Kiya it's okay," Natalie cut me off, pulling me into her arms. "W-we'll figure this out." She mumbled.

"It's been three months of hiding doctor's appointments and avoiding swimming and wearing my regular clothes and I don't know what to do anymore." I cried, shaking as my best friend held me in her arms.

"Let's go find a dress to hide that bump then we'll go talk to your parents, okay?" She asked, and I nodded, pulling away from her. "I'm here for you, okay? You're my best friend and-and I know I haven't been here before but we're going to get through this and it's all going to be okay." Natalie had tears in her eyes as she spoke, and I just nodded again, where she helped wipe my face before pulling me into a dress store.

****

"Thanks for taking a break from your movie night to talk to us," I mumbled, fiddling with my thumbs. "You guys are sure Teddy's not here?"

"He's out with Pete getting ready for the wedding. What's wrong, honey?" My mom asked, as tears began to fill my eyes.

"Ky," Natalie whispered. "I'm right here. It's okay."

"I can't do this Nat," I sobbed, putting my head into my hands. "This is so hard, I didn't want this to ever happen like this."

"What's going on, Natalie?" My dad asked. He was completely serious, as I'd never officially call Natalie by her full name like that.

"I-I-"

"Tell, us, Natalie." My mom cut her off. Natalie tried to explain that this was something that she shouldn't say, but my parents continued to pressure her into telling them, causing her to get flustered.

"I'm pregnant!" I shouted as I cut all three of them off. "I am pregnant, and I've been hiding it for three months. That fucking asshole got me pregnant and I've had the doctors hide it from you since I've been in the hospital." I finished, both my parent's eyes wide.

"Wait, you're having a baby?" My mom quietly asked.

"I've only told Natalie and I don't want Teddy knowing. Not yet." I shook my head, standing up.

"Honey, you could have told us-"

"I didn't want to!" I exclaimed. "I didn't want to because I didn't know how! The doctor came in and told me when I forced Teddy to shower one day, I asked him not to say anything and he agreed since I'm over eighteen and all. I didn't think it was true, at first. I thought their tests failed and it read it wrong."

"What about the appointments?" My dad asked.

"I lied to you guys. Every time I went to tell you guys I couldn't, I barely got it out to Nat. I just- I didn't want you guys to be disappointed or upset." I shook my head. "I told you I had work on the days I had appointments or that I needed to meet with Nat."

"Oh my God." My mom mumbled, resting her head in her hands.

"I'm sorry," I cried.

My dad stood up and walked over to me, wrapping me in his arms. "It's okay, bud. I'm not disappointed or mad. I wish it were in different circumstances. But it's not and I want to take advantage of that the best I can."

"Thank you, daddy," I sobbed, and I felt more arms wrap around us.

"We're here for you babygirl, I do wish you said something sooner but I'm glad you told us at all." My mom mumbled from behind me, kissing my head. I felt Natalie's arms around me too, and her quiet sobs filled my ears.

"Everything's going to be okay, Kiya."

****

"Hey, Ky." Teddy knocked on the open door to my room. It was way different than the one I had at the old house, and I genuinely like it way more than the old one. It was bigger, but not that that really matters. I just liked it due to being able to have room to do yoga, a hobby I took on once that incident happened. I also heard that it helps with pregnancy so woo, here I am.

"Oh, hey." I stood up from the mat, beginning to roll it up. That's enough yoga for the day, anyway. I've done it longer than I normally do, for some reason I was more stressed than normal, and I feel as if I've done nothing productive. I put away the mat, standing up straight.

"So did you get your dress for the wedding?" He asked, inviting himself in. I watched as he looked me over, not in a weird way. It was probably different seeing me in my yoga outfit - the shiny black pants and baggy t-shirt - as he's normally doing work related things while I do yoga. Sure, I sometimes wear leggings with a hoodie or giant t-shirt due to my belly but I never wear these pants and I'm still wearing a baggy shirt, this one's just not as long so he sees more of my curves than he has in months.

"Yeah, Natalie found one too." I answered, beginning to rummage through my dresser to grab some clothes to change into after I shower.

"What's it look like?" He asked, sitting at the edge of my bed.

"It's in my closet if you really want to see. I'm going to shower though, I'm sweaty." I breathed out, looking at him.

"Can I ask you something first?" He asked, his eyes not leaving mine.

"Yeah, is something wrong?" I asked.

"No, I was just wondering if you had a plus one to Pete's wedding yet," He started.

"My first option is normally Natalie, but since she has that relationship with Michael now he's her automatic plus one. I was thinking of either just coming alone or if I really wanted someone to come I'd just invite Beth or something." I shrugged. I'd gotten pretty close with the girls since everyone made up, and I'm glad I found more friends than just Teddy, who had been one of my only - if not, the only - friend since I'd drifted with Natalie and before I had the talk with Nash. "Oh, or maybe Nash. I don't know, haven't really thought about it." I added as I'd thought about the boy.

Teddy's jaw tensed. "Nash?"

"Yeah, we completely made up, remember?" I questioned, my eyebrows knitting together. "I told you about that."

"I know, I know." He sighed. "I just don't want you dating again, I guess."

"We never technically dated, Teddy. He stole my virginity and then left me." I rolled my eyes.

"Right." He let out a breath.

"Why do you ask?" I asked, changing the subject to the matter at hand.

"Well, I was just wondering," He stopped before standing up. "I was thinking maybe if you didn't find one I could maybe, I don't know, be your plus one."

"Really?" I asked, a small smile taking over my face. Of course it'd crossed my mind to ask Teddy, considering I'm closer with him than anyone else but I didn't want to make things weird, and he is the one putting the whole thing together so I didn't think he needed a date. I thought he'd just be too busy. And of course let's not forget about the fact I've been closer to him than pretty much anyone and I'm keeping the biggest secret from him.

"If not it's okay, I understand. We've been doing so good as just friends and it wouldn't be a proper date or whatever, but, yeah." He stumbled over his words.

"I want to say yes but you're the one like, putting it together. You're running the whole show, you know?" I asked. "How would that work? Besides, I'd figured you'd have someone already."

"I can still have a date, Kiya." He practically snorted. "And definitely not. I've been interested in the same girl for years now, I'm not going to take a random girl as my plus one to my best friends wedding when the girl I'm into is going to be there, especially if she doesn't have a plus one."

I felt my face heat up at his words, and lightly fanned myself. "Well, if you can then sure, I'm okay with that."

"Really?" His face lit up.

"Yeah, I mean, as long as you're not too busy for me. I don't want to be third wheeling with Michael and Nat the whole time, I might as well go alone if so." I explained.

"I promise you won't be left alone." He smiled brightly at me, pulling me in for a hug.

"Ew, ew, I'm sweaty no." I scrunched my nose up, pulling away. Teddy has definitely eased up the more time came from what happened months ago. He can still be suffocating, but due to getting himself a job as making weddings for the LGBT+ community he's busy, and along with me switching to just online college and getting full time at my job plus my appointments have given me time away from him.

I couldn't be more glad, as it helped us grow as friends, and it didn't feel as if he was my bodyguard or whatnot.

"Okay, fine. Go take your shower, stinky." He joked, and I rolled my eyes but walked out of the room, heading to my bathroom.

--

thank u for reading this filler, u a real one if u didn't get bored with it :)

see u next update and don't forget to smile :))