some people are destined to be in relationships, while others are better off alone.

but those who are alone never seem to truly be alone, for they find things to fill the place where a partner would have been. you can find true happiness outside of romance, that much is true.

but then why am i so miserable?

if i have convinced myself that i am unlovable and better off alone, shouldn't i feel happier, since i am doing the world a service? shouldn't i be happy in my decision and easily fill the void inside of me?

alas, that void was never supposed to be quite so large.

it widens every month or so, swallowing more and more of my being until i am fully consumed by the darkness and cease to exist.

the monster inside of me is fed by this loneliness, it prospers while i grow weak and cackles as i scream at the light for abandoning me.

for now i wander in gray.