Eve POV

I sit at my Dad's house with Avery on my lap. My Father was pleasantly surprised with me asking if we could spend the night.

We sit at the dining room table talking. My daughter is eating some crackers and I occasionally stroke her curls. "I assume you and Harry had a fight?" My Dad finally asks.

"Yeah," I murmur. "I just needed space," I say.

"Understandable," He says with a nod. "I'm not complaining I love seeing my daughter and her daughter," I smile at his words and look to Ava who's grinning.

"How's Zoe?" I ask my Father.

"She's doing good. She just got promoted at work so that's interesting," A faint smile is on his mouth.

"Are Lexi and Rachel doing good?" I ask. I haven't seen them in a while because of Avery, but once she's older I'll get back into seeing my family more regularly like before.

"Yep, they're growing up which is sad but it's a good thing I suppose," He says through a sigh. I nod with a faint smile. I know when Avery starts to grow up more I'll be a mess.

My daughter hands me a cracker and smiles. I kiss her lips that are puckered at me and grin.

"I can watch Ava. You go upstairs and relax," My Father offers.

"You don't mind?" I ask.

"I could never dislike spending time with my grandchildren," He grins. I place my daughter on his lap and kiss my daughter once more.

"Thank you," I say.

"No need," My Father replies. I head upstairs a few moments later. I'm tired, sad, and conflicted. I tug my hand through my hair and plop down on my old mattress.

Harry POV

I tap my foot against the wooden floor under my feet and look to my therapist, Will, across from me.

I rescheduled my emergency thing at the restaurant and came here instead.

"I haven't seen you in a while," He says.

"I've been busy," I reply, my voice is low.

"I heard. Congrats on taking over Champs. My family and I love that place," He congratulates me. I nod and give a small smile.

I dig my fingertips into my thighs and look down at my feet that are still tapping against the floor. "So, you and Eve had a fight?"

"Yeah," I answer. My eyes travel to my therapist who's jotting things down but glances up at me everyone and a while.

"What was the argument based on?" He asks me.

"My work," I say. Will nods and leans back in his chair more.

"We've talked about your need to control things before, so, what made you want to get another business? Was being in charge of your publishing office not enough?"

"I wanted to do more," I say. "Yes, I love being the CEO of the office, but I wanted to try something new and different,"

"Why?" His brown eyes glance up at me. His chin is in his palm as he speaks and writes.

"I just wanted to feel useful I guess," I say in a mumble.

"Considering now you're a Dad, why would you take on a restaurant as a business? Is it the money you wanted? The power? The ability to control? What is it?"

"All of the above," I admit. Will nods and doesn't speak for a few moments.

"So you have the new business, why doesn't it feel good?"

"Because Eve isn't happy with it," I say.

"Do you know why that is?"

"Because I work too much now since I just started with taking over," I explain briefly. My sweaty hands rest on my knees and I rub my hands back and forth on my thighs.

"How's that an issue? My wife would be mad at me too if I worked as much as you do. There would be no balance with my home life and work. It should be even and not one sided. There's always a piece missing from the puzzle with you Harry, so what is it?" My therapist asks me. He sifts his position in his chair and looks at me. His eyes are trying to read me and what I want to say, as he always does.

"I want her to be proud of me," I say. Will leans back and nods, then writes things down.

"Has she said in the past she wasn't proud of you?"

"No, she's never said that," I say.

"So, what's makes you think other wise?" He asks. His brown eyes stare at me.

"Because whatever I do isn't enough," My fingers twiddle on my lap and I swallow the lump in my throat. "I always get told to try harder and do more, and I can never win,"

"Welcome to being in a relationship," Will says with a soft chuckle. "Some woman expect more from men than others. Eve wants to spend time with you, and that isn't a crime. Her asking you to cut back on your hours is her being concerned about your health. How does that translate into her not being proud of you?"

"I don't know," I say. "I just think the more I do the more she will think I'm doing good a-and that she'll be happy she's with me," I admit. "And I want my daughter to be proud I'm her Dad. So if I own all of these businesses maybe they'll think well of me,"

"I'm glad you aren't an English Teacher, because that made no sense," Will says bluntly. "Was Eve ever mad that you weren't more than a CEO?"

"No," I answer.

"So why would she be upset with you, and expect more?" My therapist asks. "I think, you want more from yourself and you want to be more than a CEO. You're just adding Eve and Avery into the mix because it gives you more reasons to do more," He concludes.

"I just want to be more," I say.

"Lets talk about your control issues," Will changes the topic. "I assume it's still bad considering everything now, yes?"

"Yeah," I answer.

"What's so good about being in charge?" He asks me.

"I have power," I say.

"Why do you like the power?"

"Because everything can go my way," My hands are still sweaty and I don't know why.

"What if something doesn't go your way?" My therapist asks me. I remain silent and begin tapping my foot again. "You lash out and turn into a mean person, right?"

"Yeah," I mumble.

"Do you think it's because you couldn't save Elena and Jane? So you always feel like you have to do more and be more for them? Them passing didn't go your way and you changed completely. So now, if something doesn't go your way, it's like world war three. I know you've moved on from their passing, I can tell. But, it doesn't mean you've gotten over the traumatic experience it left you."

"I don't think it's bad now," I mention.

"Do you still wake up randomly in the middle of the night to a dream you're drowning?" Will asks me.

"No, it hasn't happened in a while," I say. He nods.

"Have you thought about swimming?"

"No," I say.

"Wanna try it?" He asks me.

"No," I repeat. Will puts one of his legs into of the other and looks over at me.

"I'm prescribing you anti anxiety medication," My therapist announces to me. "Take it twice a day with meals,"

"Why do I have to take it?" I ask.

"Because if you don't, you'll never stop your controlling ways cause you'll still be anxious. If the medicine doesn't work, but you see little improvement, then I want you to go on an antidepressant,"

He's mentioned before that he wants me to take them.

I nod and keep tapping my foot against the floor.

***

I get home to a quiet house. The pharmacy said my medicine will be done by tomorrow.

I put my keys in the bowl in the foyer and tug my hand through my hair. "Eve?" I call. I walk around the house and it's still silent, and dark.

The den is empty as well as the kitchen.

She might be sleeping.

I walk up stairs by taking the steps by two. It's still silent up here as well as dark. Eve usually doesn't fall asleep till ten, it's only eight now.

I enter our bedroom and still see it's empty. I turn on a light and see a piece of paper on our bed. I pick it up and read it.

Went to my Dad's house for the night with Avery. If you need us we'll be there

~Eve

I sit on our mattress with the small note in my hand. My eyes sting and I run my fingers through my hair and I feel my chest turns tight.

I really do hate myself.

***

I force myself to sleep at nine. I don't want to stay up and think about how much of a screw up I am.

My eyes are shut and my breaths are still shaky. I soon feel sleep taking over my body.

My hands are all shaky and slow the more we're in this car that's going under water.

Once I do find the pocket knife I start attempting to cut the seatbelt.

"Daddy I can't breath," My daughter says. The water is rising a lot more making it harder to breath. My chest is tighten and my heart is racing.

"Just hang in there darling," I say. My voice is gentle. I keep cutting and cutting and there is only a small tear.

I start ripping the tear, hoping it will help. But it doesn't.

Tears start streaming down my cheeks. This isn't good. "Jane how are you doing?"

"Fine." Her voice is weak and tired. I know there is something wrong with her brain. She must've hit it on the dashboard on the fall.

I know there is a little bleeding on Elena's head but not too much.

The cold water is in the car so badly that I have to go under water to try to cut the seat belt. A few times I cut my finger but the pain doesn't hit me now.

When I'm underwater I hear my heart beat through my ears roughly and my ability to breath runs out. The feeling of being suffocation roams about my body the more I'm trapped in this small space, unable to breath.

I keep pushing and pushing until I am finally able to get Elena out of car. My body is sore, numb and weak. My lungs feel as if they're going to collapse.

My head darts off my pillow and all I feel is back sweat. I start coughing loudly and my hand goes on my chest. I try to take deep breaths but that doesn't help. My body still feels like it's trapped under water and I can't help it.

I feel my heart thumping loudly against my chest. My hands are sweaty and shaky and I look over to the other side of the bed and see it's empty still.

The last time this has happened to me was when I was in Arizona, away from Eve. She makes me feel safe and calm when I sleep.

I lay back down and feel tears brim my eyes.

I just want to get away from that accident. I want to forget and I want to be better. I hate these dreams because it makes me take ten steps back in the wrong direction.

I close my eyes and try to take deep breaths to calm down my nerves.

A://N

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