Eve POV

I'm home now.

Harry doesn't look happy which is odd because he is always happy usually. "I didn't get my coloring book," I say to my boyfriend.

"Boo who," He mumbles.

"Do you need a hug? I can give you a hug." I slur.

"Just go to bed, Eve," Harry says through a shrug. My eyebrows narrow at him. His face looks tense and overall annoyed.

"Did I do something wrong?" I ask through a mumbled slur.

"Yes, you're drunk," He says like it's obvious.

"Am not," I defend. "I'm sober," My words come out slow which makes me laugh.

"Eve, go to bed," Harry says again, which makes me sigh.

"No, you go to bed," I say. "I'm wide awake like that Katy Perry song," Harry looks confused by my words. "I forgot you're stuck in the 80's," I giggle. "How's life muffin?"

"Tiring," He says. His eyes are narrowed at me. But I see three of him which makes me laugh. "Why are you laughing?"

"I see three of you," I giggle. "Which one is the real you? Are you an alien?" I gasp.

"No, you're just going to pass out soon," Harry sighs.

"I don't want to die yet. I'm too young," I say.

"You're not going to die," He huffs.

"Do you love me?" I ask. His eyebrows knot automatically.

"Yes,"

"Just yes?" I ask. "Am I the love of your life? Or am I just some girl you love?"

"What's with the million questions?" He snickers.

"Because this is a serious conversation," I say through a slur. "You're the love of my life, did you know that?"

"No, but now I do," Harry says. I look at the three of him and tilt my head. 

"You didn't know that?" I ask. "It wasn't obvious?"

"I didn't want to assume," He says casually.

"Sometimes assuming is a good thing," I mumble. His eyes glance into mine and they look still tense. "Why do you look mad. You should look happy," I say in a peppy voice.

"Because I'm mad at you," Harry says like it's obvious. "Now, go sleep," 

"Okay three Harry's," I giggle. I lay down on my back. I turn on my side and bring the blankets to my chin. 

***

My head darts off of the pillow and my vision is a bit blurry. My head is pounding roughly and I groan loudly. 

What happened last night?

All I remember is ordering that once ice tea. 

I feel gross, and dirty. My breath, I can tell, smells and I feel like a train wreck. 

I soon see Harry walk into our bedroom. He looks angry at me already. "So," He starts. He pushes open the curtains in our room causing me to groan loudly and look away. "How was your drinking splurge last night?" 

"I didn't mean to get drunk," I say. My thoughts are foggy and my head is throbbing with pain.

"You didn't mean to order an alcohol related drink?" Harry asks, his voice is raising.

"Can you keep your voice down? My head hurts," I scold. "And I saw this ice tea looking drink at the table beside our's and I ordered it. Kris was in the bathroom and I was alone. If the waiter were to ask for my ID then I would know it was alcohol, but I didn't," I say. I take my time explaining. 

"What did you have? A long island ice tea?" My boyfriend asks.

"Yes," I answer.

"How do you not know that has alcohol?" Harry exclaims.

"Because I don't drink," I snap back. "And Kris always orders herself beer so I don't know any other drinks besides that and the basic stuff like wine and whiskey," I huff. "I don't go out to clubs or sit at bars, so I wouldn't know this," 

"After a sip you couldn't realize that it had alcohol?" His green eyes are wide and tense.

"Why are you getting uppity with me?" I ask, my voice raising. This causes my head to pound out of pain more. "I didn't know better and you're being up my ass about it,"

"Because you were supposed to be home at eight. Avery usually has a bottle then and guess who wasn't home? You. And there were no bottles in the fridge and she was crying because she was hungry. So I had to take a crying five month old to a store that was closing in five fucking minutes to get formula so she wouldn't starve. 

And you probably still have alcohol in your system so our daughter has to have the formula for the next day. That's why I'm mad at you. You had one job and that was to be home at eight. Then all this time I'm thinking you got into a car accident or something, but you were fucking wasted. What a responsible Mom," Harry rants. His words dig into my skin making my cheeks heat and my eyes sting. 

"It was the first time I've ever drank, Harry," I say in a soft voice.

"And look, you got drunk," He says. "Maybe it's good if you don't drink at all, yeah?" My eyes look down at my lap. My head is still throbbing and I feel like throwing up now.

I never wanted to drink because I know there is a chance I might end up like my Mom. Knowing after my first time drinking I got drunk, I don't think that as a good thing. 

"I'm sorry," I say to Harry. My voice is low and timid sounding. 

"Do you remember anything of last night?"

"No," I say. "Did I say anything stupid?"

"Yes," He says. I bite my lip and close my eyes. My fingers press into my temples and I try to calm myself down.

The only thing Avery needed from me was to be fed. And I couldn't even do that. I'm a horrible mother and I feel like I keep disappointing everyone around me. 

I feel Harry's hand rest on my knee has he sits beside me on our bed. "Look, I don't mean to yell but you have to understand why I'm mad right now. If you feel depressed again you don't result to drinking Eve. You go talk to your therapist or me, just don't go into those things,"

"I didn't order it on purpose though," I say again. "I mean, yes I ordered it but I thought it was some new flavor out," 

"I don't want you to drink," Harry tells me. "One, you shouldn't since you're breastfeed, but knowing how your Mom was I don't want that to happen to you," My eyes glance to Harry who has soft eyes now. 

I close my eyes due to my headache and sigh. "I'm sorry," I say to him again. My voice is low and sad sounding. Harry kisses my cheek and wraps his arms around my body. My head presses against his chest and I close my eyes. "Are you still mad at me?"

"It's hard to be when you're naive to those things," Harry says. 

"You can still be mad at me," I say in a mumble. "I have been a screw up lately," 

"Eve?" He asks me.

"Yes?"

"Can you go to your therapist this week?" He asks. His thumb strokes my lower back.

"Why?" 

"Because I think you should talk to someone about how you feel with Ava," I bite my lip and press my head against him more. Thinking about her makes me sad, as bad as that sounds. "It's good to just vent to someone, you know?" 

"Yeah," I murmur sadly. He kisses the top of my head and strokes my lower back still with his fingers. "I'm sorry,"

"I know," Harry says. 

"Did Avery like the formula?" I ask.

"No," He says. 

"Where is she now?" I ask my boyfriend. 

"In her crib," Harry informs me. I nod against his chest and let out a deep breath. "I'm going to get you some medicine for your hangover,"

"Okay,"

"Have you thrown up yet?" He asks.

"No," I admit. "It's probably the inner alcoholic in me," I joke. Harry doesn't laugh at my joke.

"Don't joke about that Eve," He scolds. "Are you hungry?" 

"No," I say. I detach my head from his chest and let out a deep breath. I lay back down on our bed and close my eyes out of pain.

I'm never drinking again. 

A://N

hello

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tysm for reading!

~lauren