I couldn't remember what the last chapter was about for a hot minute but then it hit me. Kinda like it hit Yeosang... okay I'll leave now.

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Wooyoung's POV

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"He what?" I asked again, my tone pitching low, showing how annoyed I was by all of this. My first period class got interrupted by an announcement that they'd taken Yeosang, the only friend I had left, to the hospital before school even began. Because San had the audacity to punch him. And then I was forced to sit through the remainder of my school day with that knowledge and expected to function. I was a mess, that was for sure.

Thank god Yeosang was alright. A very split and swollen lip. A nasty bruise traveling along his jawline. A very, very mild concussion from his head hitting the floor. But that was the worst of it. Of course I stormed into his room fuming, fire practically coming from my ears. This was going to far.

"He punched me," Yeosang confirmed, wincing and working his fingers into the flesh under his chin. I shook my head, clenching my teeth as I studied my friend. He glanced up to me briefly before looking elsewhere. "Wooyoung, listen..." he began, but trailed off. I sighed instead, pulling a chair close to his bed and sitting. "Don't go doing something rash," he continued. "Please."

"But he punched you!" I practically exploded, causing him to jump. I wasn't one for outbursts like that, but I was livid today. Couldn't San just butt out of my life and leave it alone? Nothing in my life was safe. Not even my friends. "That's not something I can easily just ignore." My turn to jump as his hand snapped out and wrapped around my wrist. I glared down at him, only for my anger to fizzle at his exhausted and gloomy look.

"Just don't, okay?" he pushed, squeezing my wrist hard enough I yelped. His grip went slack and I slipped through. "Don't do anything dumb, please. I know you're smart and will get this simple plea. I'm fine. It was my battle to fight anyway. But I don't want him doing anything to you. Not in the state he's in." I sat back against my seat, worrying my lips with my teeth and soaking it all in.

"But he laid his hands on you," I argued. "That's not right Yeosang. He shouldn't have done that. What if he broke something?"

"It was my fault, alright?!" he finally roared. My eyes widened slightly and I sank back in my seat. "I egged him on. Taunted him. Compared him to his father. In retaliation, he punched me, alright? I didn't want to drag you into this because he's made your life hell enough already."

"Seriously Yeosang?" I seethed. Was it possible to just be angry at the world. Because I sure was. "Why would you go and do that? You're no better than he is, do you know that?" He hung his head low, and in any other situation I might have felt bad for that. "Stop going out of your way to mess with him. It's not helping. And while I may not like him, I don't want to read his rip hashtags on Twitter, got it?"

"And I'm need keen on seeing yours either," he retorted. "I know the torment you put yourself through, even if you never say a word about it. Does it make what I did right? Not by any stretch of the imagination. But the more this goes on the more it feels I'm losing the once bright, bubbly, easily excitable boy you once were to someone who shares your skin but so isn't you I'm beside myself. I don't want to wake up one day and realize that now, suddenly, I'm all alone. I don't want you to die Wooyoung. Not because of pricks like him." Saying all of that must've sapped his strength, because he sat back and closed his eyes, breathing heavily.

"I don't..." I began, but paused, shuffling through a mental list of responses to that. None of them sounded believable to outside ears. "I don't want to die Yeosang. Sure, I don't particularly love my life right this second. In fact, it kind of sucks, in all honesty. But that doesn't mean I want it to end. Not right now." I paused again, debating how to word this next bit. "I think you've learned your lesson on the matter at hand, so I'm not going to sit here and be your mother. But don't keep doing this, okay? He hasn't done anything since school started again. And he deserves kindness just as much as we do."

"You're way too nice for your own good," Yeosang said with a shake of his head. "In your shoes I'd want him dead." And maybe I should have. Maybe I should've despised his very being for making my life a living hell. But I didn't, and I couldn't. Because at some point in my life, I'd adored that boy. And he seemed to adore me in return.

I wouldn't lie and say I hadn't thought of us...that way, together. Because I had. Numerous times. Especially in the height of our friendship when the eight of us were attached at the hip. It always seemed silly, but I allowed myself to dream. Dream a life where San was an integral part of it. Where we went to university together and stayed in the same dorm room, swapping schedules and staying up way too late keeping each other company. Even farther to moving in to a little house together. San had once meant the world to me. Which is why when he turned against me the crushing disappointment hit harder. So now he really was just for my fantasies.

"I'm sorry." I started, unaware I'd spaced out until Yeosang spoke. I turned to face his guilty look. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I've been pretty dumb, huh?"

"Yes," I readily agreed. "Though I am far from the person you should be apologizing to." At that he cast his eyes down, running his fingers along his jawline mindlessly. I pulled up a chair and sat at his bedside. It had certainly been a long day. For all of us.

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San's POV

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"What has gotten into you?" mom asked, her hands on her hips. I sat in the recliner in the living room l, my chin jutted out defiantly. Every atom in my being screamed "fight or flight" right now, and since I was tired of running, it was choosing to fight. "You never get suspended. Much less for fighting. You're our good boy." That one stabbed at me, but I didn't let them see that. Mom and dad didn't get along these days, but they both agreed that what I'd done was unacceptable.

"What's going on uere San?" dad fired off next, adopting a gentler tone than mom had. "Usually behavioral issues are a sign something is going on. And you're not like this. Not to them." I found it hard to meet his gaze after that, so I stared fixedly at a point just over his shoulder, my stomach doing enough flips to make a circus acrobat jealous. "I thought you guys were friends," dad forged on. "What happened?"

"Hongjoong and Seonghwa hyung moved!" I exploded. I stunned them both to silence. Mom's arms even went limp at her sides. "They were apparently the glue that held us together and they left. Without them, it was like the body that made us lost its head. We couldn't function. Eight makes one team after all, right? It was always supposed to be the eight of us. Not six. So we split off. Me, Mingi, and Yunho on one team. Yeosang and Wooyoung on the other. Jongho stuck in between us in some strained and strange limbo." I forced myself to breathe evenly, as I could feel panic beginning to nestle in my chest. It was the most I'd said to them in so long. And it wasn't even the full story. "So that's why they never come around." I'd finally had enough and lept from the chair, sprinting up the steps and slammimg the door to my room. I slumped against it, my chin to my chest, everything in me feeling like it was on fast-forward but my brain was stuck on slow motion. I dove for my phone, pulling it so close to my face I squinted to see the text.

Hey. Things have been...not good. Some awful things have happened in my life and it slowly feels like I'm losing control of everything. But I know from past experiences that talking to you always makes me feel better. I'm hoping it works this time too. I need a distraction. Anything.

I stumbled over what to say next. I couldn't ask him the same questions I had a month ago because I knew. I was the cause of his distress. I was destroying him from the inside out and up until recently hadn't stopped to really think about it. But now the curtain closed and my audience was all but silent. It didn't make me feel good anymore. It made me sick. I loved that boy. Why would I want to hurt him.

I'm sorry. You are going to be so confused when you see this message later. But just... I'm sorry. I'm not a very good stan. Or a very good friend. I hope you continue these stories soon. I hope the universe decides you've earned all that you give, cause you seem like such an amazing person. And there are people out there who seek to ruin that. Just like the generation before them. Take care BangtanBadBoi.

I hit send and sank back, closing my eyes. When all else failed, Wooyoung was here. His stories were here. They were my comfort. My constant. The world could fall apart at the seams and I wouls be fine as long as I had his fanfictions. As much as I mocked him for it, they were my favorite part of him. That he wasn't afraid to do what he loved. At least...before I got to him. If I destroyed this, well and truly, could I live with myself? Could I actually live with the fact my comfort was gone?

Ding!

Hey. I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully things look up soon. And I'm...flattered? I honestly don't know how I feel. I can always express exactly how Jungkook and Taehyung are feeling, but I'm clueless when it comes to my own. I guess that's part of being a writer, huh? Words come easy when you don't need them to. But I am happy I've brought you any sense of joy. That's all I wanted.

I accept your apology? I don't know what you're apologizing for. A bad stan? You seem like a good one to me. And a good friend as well.

I paused in my reading long enough to swallow the rock that had lodged in my throat. When I collected myself, I continued.

As for the stories, I'm trying. I promise. But nothing seems quite right. I lost all the momentum a couple months ago and it's been a struggle to gain it back. But I'm trying. I have Color My World's final chapter halfway typed, so it's a better start than none. And I have a couple one shots I'm working on as well. So there's going to be something coming. I just don't know when.

Thank you for the kind words. I'm not used to compliments like that, so you'll have to excuse my lack of response on the matter. But... thank you. Comimg from you...it means a lot. And don't worry too much about me, alright? I'll get through this. I'm made of tough stuff you know. Take care SecretARMY378. Love you. Talk to you soon.

"Love you..." I whispered out loud to myself, the words lingering in the air far longer than they needed to. Wooyoung said he loved me. And maybe they were meant to be throwaway words. An automatic response. But I would keep them in my heart and hold them dear. Because whether or not I was going to admit it out loud, to anyone, I loved him too. Some day he would hear that. But not any day soon.

...

A lil shorter than normal but don't worry I have plans. Enjoy!

Post editing author nim here. And I have one thing to say....

YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA OF THE ABSOLUTE ROLLERCOASTER RIDE OF EMOTIONS I WENT THROUGH TO GET THIS UPDATED