https://youtu.be/641_XEb8Oiw

It was just like any other winter's day. 

You were in a daze wandering from cafe to cafe, head in the clouds and a tired body glowing, healing because of the sudden freedom from being hunched over books and endlessly writing and calculating and thinking and— you get the gist, earned from skipping a tutoring lesson scheduled a few minutes ago.

You miss this the fresh air and the abillity to stretch your legs, to look up and see the blue sky rather than a ceiling. Most of all, you miss your boyfriend. Exchanging texts and brief calls in this chaotic period of time (considering both of you have exams) wasn't enough although Kaeya did have a bit more freedom compared to you since he was a natural smartass. 

You miss your boyfriend's long blue hair, being able to run your fingers through it and braiding it, scratching your nails softly on his scalp as he hums in pleasure, his voice a deep rumble on your lap as both of you just soak in each others presence. 

You miss his fresh scent of wilderness, like flower-filled fields after a rainy night. You miss his comforting laugh and his flirty comments which never fail to make you blush. His relaxed attitude towards everything always managing to cool you down too.

With your mind filled with Kaeya, a small smile bloomed on your face. Thoughts of him were a ray of sunlight amidst clouds of stress. You turn and walk towards the nearest bus stop renewed with vigor to get these fucking exams over and done with to finally spend some proper time with your beloved but you stop. 

In the corner of your eye you see a flash of blue disappear around a corner and your heart races, was that him? what are the chances you bump into him the second you escape, is this what people call destiny? The small smile you had evolved into a grin and without even being consciously aware, your legs push, darting between people and whatever pathwalk obstacle there was. 

Closer and closer till you reach the corner he JUST turned and warmth blooms in your chest,

You see a familiar back with blue hair walking—

Your feet slow.

The warmth dies, replaced by something icy lancing through your chest.

And you stand there, watching him like a stranger.

A girl who seemed to be prettier than you, brighter than you and just seemed to glow, had her arm linked with his.

If you were a star, she'd be the entire galaxy. 

 What hurt even more was the way they gazed at each other, you could feel the love; the utter warmth and adoration they oozed out of their pores. And if that hurt, then the next thing you realise stabbed itself into your heart, twisted and pulled because compared to the way he gazed at you like you were something precious and loved was NOTHING compared to how he looked at her.

The way he looked at her was a look which you were familiar with, a look which said that she was his goddess, she was his sun. A look you're familiar with because that was the exact same way you gazed at him. 

And because you loved him so much, you stayed quiet. 

you were going to confront him about it later and quietly, not in front of his most precious person because you loved him so much that even if it felt like a knife to your heart, seeing his face even slightly droop with sadness or anger or worry or anything of the sorts because of you,

Would feel nothing short of death.