"Hey, uh. I am sorry about Nyko" I says "me too" Luna says "are you okay?" I asks "I will be" she says. I slightly nods before Miller speaks

"Let's go" Miller says as we keeps walking "uh, small questions. Alie had a security system to protect this thing, right?" Murphy speaks as we stands in front of the lab

"Any idea what she was protecting it from?" He asks "let's hope we don't find out" Abby says as we walks rusted the lab

"Just in case, Raven, get the drones back into the sky" Abby says

"Auxiliary power initiated" we hear a voice says as walks into the lab, the light slowly goes on as we walks inside

We all takes a long look around the lab "not bad, Becca" Raven says. We all seem impressed, it definitely looks like a lab that would get Abby whatever she needs to save us

-

"Are you also bored?" Murphy walks into my room "I am trying to sleep" I groans "yeah, well you should probably try to sleep at night if you want to sleep" he says before I glares at him

"Abby sent me to wake you up, she's worried about you" he says "if she's worried why would she sent you?" I asks

"She's busy with Raven" he says "Mm" I says "I also... wanted to talk to you" he says "I don't want to talk" I says

"I know, I kind of figured it out since you've been avoiding me" he says "I am not avoiding you" I says

"We've been here for days and we haven't talked" he says "it's not like I talked to anyone" I says "Abby needs you, Mary. We all need you" he says

"Come on, I am here for those tests. Abby didn't started them yet so there's no need for me, I can sleep" I says

"So why aren't you sleeping at night?" He asks "won't Emori looks for you right now?" I asks

"I don't think so, why?" I asks "nothing" I says making him chuckle "what, weirdo?" I asks "you're jealous" he says

"I am not fucking jealous" I sits up "it's cute, we're not even together and you're joules" he says "I am not joules!" I says

"Nothing is going on between me and Emori, okay?" He sits down next to me "I don't give a shit" I shrugs

He clenches his jaw, I know he does that when he's stressed "I really don't want to have this conversation" I says

"I know, but I love you too much to just let go of you without knowing the reason. I deserve to know why" he says

"Murphy" I says "it's not about us, it's about you not talking to me. I am okay if you want us to stay friends but we're not even friends. I don't want to lose you completely" he says

"I told you already" I shrugs "I don't believe you that that's it, okay? It might be part of it but...no matter what fucked up shit happened to us we always got through that, what changed now? I now for a fact something has changed but I don't know what that it freaks me out" he says

"You know... there's some things you don't want to know. You don't want to know everything about me. Just leave it" I says

"I do. I don't care what is it, I just want to know what's going on with you, why you've been distance, cold. I need to know" he says

"Even if I want to say it... I can't" I shakes my head "hey, it's me" he holds my cheeks, I love when he does that. And he knows that.

"You can tell me anything" he says. And I look at this boy, this boy who I deeply love so much, I just want to tell him everything. I want him to know everything.

I don't know, I always just wanted him to know everything about me. I think he knows more about me than Jasper

He gives me that feeling that no one else was able to reach. There is something about those eyes, something pure

I take a deep breath as he moves his hand to hold my hands "it's okay, it's okay" he assures me "you know... my dad, he used to, uh, date a lot of woman" I starts

"When I was six he used to date his drug dealer, and... she would always get stoned when she was around the house" I shakes my head, trying to avoid the tears from coming. He nods, showing me he listens

"You know, and my dad was also stoned all the time and he'd pass out a lot so..." I feel the tears in my throat, making it hard to talk

"When- when it was only me and her she would-" I find it hard to put this words together

"She would-" I takes a deep breath "she would what?" He gently asks. Seems genuinely confused. I takes a deep breath again before I answers "she would molestme" I let myself cry

"What?" his eyes widen before he pulls me into a hug, he starts crying as well "I am so sorry" he says as he pulls out of the hug to take a look at me

"Wait- did it happened when you were six years old?" He asks, I slightly nods as I wipes my tears, but they just kept going

"And you didn't tell anyone? Not even Jasper?" He asks "well... I told my dad. I asked him to tell her to leave me alone. I was six, I didn't really know what's happening I just knew I didn't like it, at all" I says. He shakes his head with tears

"And it ended?" He asks. I chuckles through my tears "no... no. He told me I was making it up, I never really liked his girlfriends and he knew that, so he thought I was lying. Every time I told him she- uh, keeps... touching me" I sobs

"He would hit me" I looks down as I finish the sentence "Mae..." he says "I am sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you away" I says "no, Mary, don't you dare worrying about that or apologise" he shakes his head

"I also told my aunt, Fiona. It ended when I was eight, she talked with my dad and it stoped. He stopped doing drugs and he started getting drunk instead. We never talked about it" I says

"It went for two years?" He says in a broken voice "I didn't mean to make you sad, I am sorry" I says "no, hey. Don't apologise. I am glad you told me" he says

"When you told me what Ontari did to you, I-" I says "It wasn't the same, I mean what happened in Polis is nothing like what happened to you, I am just so, so sorry" he says

"I just had to get away from you. I am sorry I just couldn't take it, I remember it all again, the nightmare started and it was my fault you had to go through that, it was my-" I sobs

"No, no, no, no. Listen, what happened wasn't your fault. It was Ontari's fault. And what happened to you, when you were a kid, isn't your fault either" he says

"I could have tell Jasper, I could have stopped it, I could have resists more-" I looks down "you were six years old, Mary" he shakes his head

"You were six years old." He repeats "I can't even understand how hard it must have been on you all those years but I know for a fact that it is not a six years old fucking fault" he adds

"I know" I sniffles "It's not your fault" he says. I takes a deep breath as I stands up "I know" I says "it's not your fault" he repeats

"All right" I says, starting to get pissed "it's not your fault" he steps closer to me "it's not your fault"

"Don't fuck with me" I shakes my head "it's not your fault" he continues "don't fuck with me, Murphy. Okay? Not you" I shoves him "it's not your fault"

I shakes my head as I look down, trying to avoid eye contacting with him, I don't want to cry. But I eventually does, I cover my face with my hands and let myself cry

"It's not your fault" he gently whispers before I pulls him into a hug as I starts sobbing "oh, god" I let myself sob like I never did before, I waited to let it all out since I was six years old.

I never showed anyone I was hurt, that's how my dad though to me. But when I was hurt, when I was all alone, I'd break down, not in front of people. I never let myself cry in front got people, let alone sob like that.

"Oh, god. I am so sorry" I says "don't" he shakes his head with tears as I strength my grip in him, I holds him so tightly, it was almost like I was scared he'd let go

But I wasn't scared he'd let go, I just never felt as close to anyone at that moment. I shared my deepest darkest secret with him, the secrets I swore to myself that I wouldn't tell anyone. The secret I was sure I'd hold to my grave

"I am here now, and I am not going anywhere, do you hear me?" He says "I know" I quietly says "I don't want what happened to Jasper to happen to you too" he says "what do you mean?" I asks

"Holding onto to that much hate, on yourself or on the world will destroy a person... and I am not about to let that happen to you too" he

"You have so much love to share with the world, and so much life yet to it" he adds making me smile through my tears

"Why do you still love me, Murphy?" I asks "you know, it's funny. I ask the same thing about you" he says "yeah- but, I-"

"No" he cuts me off as he shakes his head "you learnt Trigedasleng in a few days just by being in Polis, you learnt Chemist only from Jasper explaining you stuff. You chose to save those slaves, who are your people. You're so smart and kind, you know we all need you, right?"

"I don't know what I would have done without you, honestly" I says before he leans a kiss on my forehead

"Hey, can I ask you something?" He says "anything" I nods "why didn't you tell Jasper or Monty?" He asks "well, I didn't like talking with Jasper about what's going into my house, and i couldn't tell Monty because... I felt ashamed" I confess

"Why?" He ask "you don't hear stories like that on Ark, it wasn't really common" I says "still, that woman deserved to get floated" he says

"She did, eventually. She got caught selling drugs. So, I guess I got my justice at the end" I says "well, that's too bad" he says, I looks at him confused

"I wanted to kill that woman myself and watch her suffer" he makes me laugh "I am dead serious" he says, I pulls him into another hug

"So... you're not mad?" I asks "are you kidding me? What you just told me is horrible, I can't possible be mad at you" he says

"You're not just saying that out of pity though?" I asks "No, Mary. I am just glad you told me"

"And besides... I was never mad at you, I just wanted to understand" he says "well, thank you for wanting and insisting to understand me" I says "anytime" he gently smiles at me before scanning me expression

"You look tired" he points out "I don't sleep well anymore" I says "nightmare?" He asks. I slightly nods

"Come on" he walks towards the bed "what?" I chuckles "you need to sleep" he says "you said Abby needs me" I says

"I lied so you'd agree to talk to me" he says "you snake" I shakes at my head as I chuckles "it worked" he smirks as I lays on the bed next to him

He sits down, I lays my head on his laps as he wraps his hand around my body, hugging me. One of his hands holds my hand and the other caresses my hair.

I fell asleep this way, I felt peaceful. For the first time I could remember, I felt just peaceful.

When Luna help me sleep, I felt quite, I felt good. But it was different, she talked to me through sleeping, Murphy was just strangely quite

It wasn't strange that he was quite, it was strange that it gave me just the right amount of comfort I needed. I didn't need more, I didn't need him to say anything. I know how he felt, I know how sorry he was because I know how much he loves me

Now, when Murphy's here I feel just in peace. I can't describe this feeling, it just feels right.

Knowing that he's next to me gives me a feeling of some kind of safety, like nothing can hurt me. He's making me believe that there's still left good in me, knowing all the things I've done.

Luna also believes I have good in me, but she don't know me, not like Murphy. No body can know me like Murphy does.

-

Murphy's pov

As I holds Mary I wonder to myself, how can someone hurt this girl? She looks like an angel. You don't hurt angels.

She falls asleep quickly but I still stayed with her. Holding her gave comfort not only to her, also to me. Knowing that I hold her now and nothing can hurt her is everything to me. That girl is everything to me.

I wanted to tell Mary it was over now and everything will be okay, but that was a lie. She only now learnt how to accept it, it was the first time she ever said it to anyone

I am glad to be that person that she told it to, and I will be with her the whole time of going through that, accepting.

I wish there was some way for me to prevent that horrible woman from hurting that girl, that child at that time. I wish I could have done something, but I couldn't

There was nothing I can do expect holding her, so as she fell asleep I just staid silent and tried to telepathically communicate how sorry I am for what happened

And I think of all the grief and sadness and fucked up suffering in the world and... it made me want to escape

I wish with all my heart we could just leave this world behind, rise like two angels in the knight and magically disappear.