Mary's pov

I was out of Mount Weather, I couldn't stand being in there. Seeing all those people's faces.

For so long, since we landed on earth, I thought that the world is trying to find ways to screw with me

Ever since Jasper got spired I thought that the world here is cruel. But maybe it all was tests, and I failed, one after one

Maybe the world is not tying to find way to screw with me, maybe I am just a screwed up. Maybe I am the cruel one

I killed 350 people like it was nothing just because of my emotions. When I saw Jasper in that dorm, I didn't think of what's going to happen after, I just wanted to get them out of there.

And now, I am just getting what I deserve. I hope Murphy found peace.

If he have found a place to feel safe in, that place would be better off without me, Murphy would be better off without me.

Jasper's fall down is my fault. I lost part of him when I killed Maya. Him drinking, and basically him losing it... that shit is on me.

Murphy also could be dead. I let him go, I let him walk away even though I knew Jaha's fairytale was a huge joke. He just wanted peace, and I let him being delusional which could lead him to his death

All I do is hurt people, again, and again, and again. I've lost my two favourite people. Murphy and Jasper are the only reasons I survived on the Ark

And on the Ground, I ruin their lives. Jasper is not the same, he would never be the same kid he used to be. I ruined him

I go to the edge of the Mountain, I am just sick of ruining everyone's lives. They don't deserve it. I can't let anyone else get hurt

I was about to take a step ahead before I hear someone yells my name "Mary!" Octavia yells as she runs towards me, she jumps on me making me fall down

"What are you doing?" I asks as she was still holding me "Abby told me what happened yesterday, then Jasper old me you had another fight and walked away, I connected the dots" she says

"Let me go, please. I deserve it" I says with tears "I am not leaving you" she says "let me go!" I fights her grip, but she's stronger than me

"Mary, stop" she says "I can't- I can't do this shit, not forever. Just let me go, please" I says before she grabs my shoulders as she sits down

"What's wrong? Talk to me" she says "everything that gone wrong, is my fault" I says "what are you talking about?" She asks

"Jasper" I says "he'll move on... eventually" she says "Mount Weather" I says "you had to do what you did" she says

"Murphy" I breaks down "Murphy's a big boy, he chose to chase after the city of light with Jaha. It's on him if he's dead" she says

"Ever since we landed, everything I've ever cared about is gone, ruined, turned to shit, dead. I have never been more alone. I have nothing, no one. Alright? It's all gone" I says

"not everyone" she starts "I know you guys are here for me, but I miss my cousin, I miss my boyfriend" I says

"I know that, but we can help you. Me, Bellamy, Monty, Raven, Clarke, everyone... we want to help, you just gotta let us help you" she says

"You have your own shit" I says "nothing matters now expect you getting better, okay? You'll stick to me now" She says "Abby took me gun... and my knife. I can't do shit without my gun" I says

"I'll talk with Abby, just try not to jump off a cliff by then, yeah?" She asks "I'll try" I slightly chuckles

"You and Jasper really has to solve shit" she says as I takes her hand and she helps me stands up "yeah, tell that to him" I says

"He wants to, he's just being Jasper" she says "you mean annoying motherfucker?" I says "maybe more stubborn, like you" she says

"Nah, I still think he's just an asshole" I says "see? Stubborn" she smirks "shut up" I rolls my eyes

-

"Hey, Mary" Octavia says as she enters my room "what?" I asks "get up, we are going to Mount Weather" she says as she throws my gun at me, I catches it

"No shit" I smiles at her "talked to Abby, I told her Imma keep an eye on you" she says "are you kidding me? Wait, what about-" I says before she raises Murphy's knife, I walks towards her and hugs her

"God, I love you so much right now" I says as she hands me the knife "you're weirdo, get ready. I'll meet you in ten, alright? We're taking the truck" She says

"You're not taking your horse?" I asks "promised Abby I am keeping my on you" she says "come on, what can I possible do in the truck" I says

"Don't complain, you love my company" she says "fuck you" I says "get ready!" She says as she leaves my room

"Mary, Abby told us you're off for this week" Bellamy says as I sits inside the truck next to Octavia "Octavia couldn't take it, she missed me so much. Your sister is really convincing" I says "oh, I know that" he says

"You okay?" Raven asks "yeah, we're good to go" I says, she nods before we starts driving

"I knew I should have taken my horse" Octavia says as we goes out of the truck after a long drive

"You were the one wanted to keep an eye on me" I says "I am starting to regret that" she says making me gasps "no you don't" I smirks

"I don't" she shrugs as we take out bags from the back of the truck "you guys, did I ever tell you how I saved Sinclair's ass on the Ark?" Raven asks

"Please don't" Octavia says "you mean the time you went rogue on a Spacewalk?" Gina asks as we gets inside Mount Weather

"That depends on your definition of going rogue" Raven says "really?" Gina says "I just hopped on a robotic arm and aimed at the solar ray" she says

"The whole time I was out there the control room though I was just fixing a loose wire" Raven adds "that is in fact the definition of going rogue. You ranged yourself within the inches of an electrified array that could have killed you" Gina says

"You're good? I mean, coming back here?" Octavia asks as Raven and Gina continues talking behind us

"I am not exciting about it, but I got my gun back. And you're with me so..." I says "I am awesome, I know it" she says before we hears music playing and indistinct conversations of our people in the Mountain

"Welcome" Pike says as he walks towards us "come, join us" he says "someone's made themselves home" Raven says as we starts walking towards them

"The same "home" they killed out people of us in" I says "There must be thirty of them in here" Octavia says

"Thirty-six, but the more the merrier" Pike chuckles "Thirty-six, wow! The Grounders gonna think we moved in" Octavia says

"Well, there was no roll at the inn" Pike says "and this is your option?" Octavia says "O" Bellamy glares at her

"I am outta here" she says as she grabs my arm "that was quick" I tells Octavia as we leaves Mount Weather. We climbs to the top of the building outside. We sits on it while we wait for the others to finish

"Bunch of assholes" she says "How could they just live there? Like nothing happened" I says

"I don't know, I don't really like Pike" she says "he seems like an asshole" I says "yeah" she says

"This is the entrance you used to get in?" She asks "yeah, it's crazy how everything changed. I mean, we kinda won, but it doesn't feel like we did" I says

"It wasn't an easy war" she says "yeah, tell me about it" I says

"You good though?" I asks "yeah, I am fine" she answers, but I wasn't convinced "you can talk to me" I says

"The Grounder will never accept it" she says "we survived troubles with the Grounders in the past, we'll get through that even if they won't like it" I says

"I just hoped we could be just fine with the Grounders, no more troubles" she says "you live long enough on earth, you really thought there was gonna be no more troubles?" I says

"I mean, I hoped. It was quiet for three months" she says "if you hope in their world you would get disappointed. Even the time that we had some quiet needed to be over. Good things don't last here" I says "so? You're just gonna stop hoping?" She asks

"I mean, It's painful to keep hoping" I says "so what? You're a strong person, even if you'd get disappointed hope is important, hope is everything" she says

"You sound like Jaha" I says "don't" she says as she slightly chuckles, but the chuckles quickly fades away to worrying

"You can't know what is about to happen, you can't control it. Just let go" I says "I have no idea how to do that" she says, I sighs before Bellamy appears

He was searching for us for a moment before he notices us sitting on the door "you okay?" Bellamy asks Octavia, she slightly nods before he climbs up to us

"I'll give you two a moment" I says sharing a look with Octavia before climbing down. I was leaning on the truck while Bellamy was talking with Octavia

I seem like a brother and sister moment and I didn't want to interrupt.

I wish Jasper would just do this, ask me if I am okay and go talk to me. This is all what I needed

I don't expect him to understand me, I just want him to try to talk to me. I miss him.

I hear a distant movement. I sees Bellamy and Octavia rushes down the building. "What now?" Octavia says as I walks towards them

We sees two guards holding Echo "Echo?" Bellamy asks "you know her?" Octavia asks "she's ice nation" I says "she was in the cage next to mine" Bellamy says

"Bellamy, Mary" Echo says as she notices us "let her go" Bellamy says "she threatened to summit" one of the guard says

"I was trying to help" Echo says "shut up" the other guards kicks her "hey!" I says "leave her alone" Octavia says

"I said get your hands off her" Bellamy says before Octavia walks up to Echo "what are you doing? She's a Grounder" the guard says as Octavia unties Echo

"Shut up" I says "what are you talking about?" Bellamy asks "the summit is a trap. The assassin is already there. At sundown, your people will die" she says

-

"I was with the queen's army heading towards Polis. The war chief talks to too loud" Echo explains as we talks with Pike

"You're one of them. So why are you telling us this?" Pike asks "we abandoned Skikru in the battle for the mountain. It was wrong" Echo says

"And won't they miss you?" Pike says "maybe. That's why we need to hurry" Echo says "she's giving you important information, just listen to her" I says "how do I know I can trust this information?" Pike asks

"Pike, she saved my life. We can trust her" Bellamy says "listen up. Okay, if we want to get to Polis before the attack, we have to move" he adds

"Attack? Do we have confirmation of that?" Sinclair asks "we radioed, but no answer" Bellamy says

"They may already be dead for all we know. And if they are, we need to be ready to respond" Pike says "don't make this about the mussels" Sinclair says

"This is about surviving. We don't have the numbers, but the mussels in this mountain even the playing field and you know I am right" Pike says

"You're living at Mount Weather, having meals here like it's nothing. Now you want to use their mussels?" I asks

"I am doing what is right for us to survive. A seven teen years old wouldn't have the courage to do that" Pike says making me chuckle

"Even if I did agree with you, we still don't have the launch codes" Sinclair says "no, but we have me" Raven says

"Are you accuse engineer of arrogance?" Sinclair says "I am growing as a person" Raven says "let's go" Pike grabs Echo

-

"Where are the guards?" Bellamy asks after we walks out the truck, it was too quite. Raven and Sinclair staid at Mount Weather as the rest of us went to Polis, to warn about the attack

"Protocol would be to leave someone behind" Bellamy adds "they did" Octavia says, I looks at a truck with two guards that has been slaughtered, I stared at them for a second before moving on

"This was your people" Pike Walsh tiaras Echo after he sees the guards, Echo tells him something in Grounder "hey, she warned us. This proves she was telling the truth" Octavia says

"This is your fault" I tells Pike "no, this is the Grounders fault" Pike says "if you wouldn't have-" I gets cut off by Bellamy

"We don't have time for this. The attack is at sundown" Bellamy says. We noticed a sign that says no weapons

"I am not leaving my blade here" Octavia says "none of us are. We go into the tunnels. The entrance is that way" Echo leads, we all follows her

"How much further?" Bellamy asks Echo "we're almost there. The elevator shaft is just ahead" Echo says

We reached some hall, Bellamy checks it before he turns to look at us "two guards" Bellamy says "they raise the lift. The elevator shaft is our only way in. We have to climb" Echo says before Pike peaks to the guards

"I got left" Pike says as he walks towards the guard, Bellamy follows "what is he doing?" I whispers, Octavia looks at me clueless

Bellamy and Pike killed the two guards "what is wrong with you?" Octavia says "You didn't have to kill them" I says

"I did. You should understand that better than everyone" Bellamy says before he opens the door to the elevator "how many floors?" Bellamy asks "all of them" Echo answers before we stray climbing