Mary's pov

"This woods must be border" Bellamy says as we all gets out of the truck "so, where is all the ice?" Jasper asks

"Much further north. Azgeda stretches for 1,000 miles" Octavia explains "good thing we only have to go 200 meters" Monty says

"Slow down. remember, rules of engation are nonlethal force. Right formation on my command. Raven, you stay in the rover" Bellamy says "like hell I am" Raven says

"We need every gun we've got" Octavia says "they're coming, 120 meters" Monty says "110" he counts before we hear people. Bellamy points his gun at the sound of people

"They're our people. What are you doing?" Monty asks "we hope they're our people" Bellamy says as Octavia takes out her sword, the rest of us loads are guns and gets ready

"On my command" Bellamy says before Grounders on horses rides towards us "ice nation?" Bellamy asks "yes. White war paint" Octavia answers

"Stay calm" Octavia says as she raises her hands, she speaks Grounder with them "they think we're looking for Wanheda" Octavia says

"Who's that?" I asks "I don't know" Octavia says "the light. That's the beacon" Monty says before I sees Jasper walks toward them

"Hey, get back here" Bellamy tells him "Jasper!" I says, I was about to walk after him to grab him but Bellamy stops me

"What are you doing?" Raven asks "it's okay. I got this" Jasper says "tell them we observe the Commander's truce. Now" Bellamy says before Octavia says it to them in Grounder

Jasper takes the beacon from the Grounder "that's belongs to us" he says as he was about to walk away, but the Grounder grabs Jasper and puts a knife to his neck making us points our guns at the grounder

"Let him go!" Bellamy says as Octavia speaks to them. I watches Jasper smile before the Grounder says something to him and starts pushing the knife towards his neck, making him bleed

I shoot the Grounder that held Jasper before Bellamg and Miller shoots the other Grounder that were with him

"Hold your fire!" Bellamy says "Jasper, get down" Octavia says before she throws her sword at a Grounder, killing him

"Rover 1, come in. Repeat, Rover 1, come in" we hears on the radio "what now?" Bellamy says as he walks to the radio, Octavia takes her sword. I tries to reach Jasper, but he pushes me and get up himself

"What the fuck was that?" I asks him Jasper "I had him" Jasper says "what were you thinking?" Miller says "we got the beacon, didn't we?" Jasper says

"Yeah, but where did they get it?" Monty asks "Come on, you need help" I says as I sees him putting his hand on his neck that was bleeding

"Not from you" he says before Octavia helps him walk to the truck "he need to get to Medical" Octavia says

"We had to shoot three ice nation scouts. Culvert, section 4. Copy. Can you tell me what's going on?" Bellamy says on the radio "when you get here. Out" Kana says on the radio

"Sector 4? Why is Kane so far outside the wall?" Raven asks as Bellamy walks towards me, Octavia and Jasper

"Take him home" Bellamy orders "I am fine. Thank you for asking" Jasper says "Miller" Bellamy says

"Yeah?" Miller says "get one of their horses. Raven, you're on the back. Monty, you're with me, let's go" Bellamy says "okay" Monty says

-

"Open the gate!" Sargent Miller says as me, Raven Octavia walks Jasper to the Alpha station "Jasper is hurt. What took you so long?" Octavia says as we walks in while Abby rushes towards us with Lincoln and Jackson

"What happened?" Abby asks "Ice nation" I says as Jasper grunts "get him to Medical" Abby says "come on, I got you" Jackson says as he grabs Jasper

"Keep pressuring it" Jackson says as I walks with them and Raven

"Jasper, what's going on?" I asks after Abby finishes take caring of him, Raven was talking with Abby "none of your business" he says

"You're my only family, how is that not my business?" I asks "family?" He asks "we're still family" I says before he chuckles

"Jasper, we're still family" I says "yeah, right" he says "I did everything for you" I says

"No, you didn't. You did it because this is who you are now" he says before he walks away, I just stand there, with nothing to say

Is that who I am now?

"Jasper, wait!" Jackson says "whoa" Abby stops him "I am fine" Jasper says "he's not fine" Raven says

"Shut up, Raven" Jasper says "okay, okay. Enough. If you promise you'd come back in the morning. I will examine you then. Okay?" Abby says before Jasper walks away

"You're just gonna let him go?" Raven asks before I walks up to them "that'll be all, Lincoln. Thank you" Abby says before she returns to me and Raven

"I'll be in there in a minute" Abby says to Jackson "Abby. We have 12 patients waiting including four contraceptive implant removals" Jackson says, Abby glares at him

"You'll be right in" Jackson says before he walks away "Abby, he has a knife to his throat and he smiled" Raven says "Raven give me and Mary a minute" she says, Raven nods before she walks away

"What?" I asks "what about you, Mary?" Abby asks me "what about me?" I asks "Monty told me you had troubles getting out of bed lately" she says

"I am fine. I am here, aren't I?" I says "I saw you have history of depression in your family" Abby says, referring to my father "so?" I asks

"So, I need to know if it gets worse" she says "I am fine, the real one you should be worry about is Jasper" I says

"I am worried about Jasper, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be worried about you" she says "I am fine, okay?" I says

"Did you take the meds I gave you?" She asks "yes" I lies, I don't need medicine to change how I am or how I feel, I am fine, Abby doesn't get that

"You're lying to me" she says "I am not lying" I lies, again "Abby?" Jackson says "take your meds, and take care of yourself, please" she says "yeah, whatever" I says before she walks away

-

Murphy's pov

I was sitting on the rowboat before I hears a ship horn blaring, I turns around seeing Jaha and Alie

"You're leaving, huh?" I asks "so are you" Jaha says "not with you, I am not" I says "I'll be right there, Gideon" Jaha says

"I see you've made a new friend" I says "I am sorry we kept you in the bunker, John. Is that what you want to hear? But the truth is I knew you were safe. And with all the things that we had to do, I needed time" Jaha says

"Yeah, I could tell you were pretty busy back there" I says "we converted a nuclear warhead into power source. With the added power, Alie was able to complete the work she began with her creator 100 years ago" Jaha says

"Whatever. I am still leaving this place in the rowboat" Murphy says "I need you" Jaha says "of course you do. More food for the sea monster, right?" I says

"Let me prove to you what we can do" Jaha says "listen to me, I've seen what she can do" I says as I stands up and faces him "no, you haven't. Not even close" Jaha says

"Now is it possible that you sound even crazier than before?" I says "I can tell you about the city of light" he says as he puts his hand in front of me, his hand has a cheap in it

"But you won't understand until you experience it yourself" Jaha says "and that's supposed to take me to the city of light?" I asks

"No pain. No hate. No envy" Jaha says "no, thanks" I says "John-" Jaha says "no" I cuts him "Pain, hate, envy..." I chuckles before I continues

"Those are the ABCs of me. Get rid of them and there's nothing left. So why don't you get thing out of my face?" I says

"Take care of yourself, John" Jaha says before he puts the cheap into my jacket's pocket "decide later" he says, the ship made a sound of a horn blaring again

"John?" I hears a voice I recognise, I turns out to see who it is "I don't believe it" she says "Emori?" I says

"What are you waiting for? Come on" she says, I takes a look at the rowboat before I decides to get walks towards the boat

"Change your mind?" Jaha asks "bite me" I says "Emori, who'd you steal the boat from?" I asks as I get on the boat

I was happy to see a normal human being around here. Jaha was completely losing it, even more than i did on the bunker.

And Gideon, Jaha's new friend, didn't really make me comfortable. And to add all that there was a crazy hologram bitch who destroyed the world

I miss Mary. I miss being around every decent human being who doesn't joined a cult, but more than anything, I miss Mary.

-

Mary's pov

I hear someone singing and plays the piano, I walks to the sound of it. He was singing "add it up"

"I am happy to see you out of your room" Abby says "I just love this song" I says, she gives me a smile before she walks towards Raven

After a few moments I sees Jasper walking in "hey, hey, relax" Raven tells Jasper, he pushes her before he takes some clothes who were belongs to people on Mount Weather out of some guy's hands

"These belong to people" Jasper says before he throws the clothes on his face "Jasper!" I walks towards him "so did that piano" he points on the piano before he runs towards it

"Jasper!" Raven says as me and her were running after him "a bunch of grave robbers" he says as he pushes the man out of the chair and starts fighting him

"Jasper! Stop!" I says "get off of him!" Raven says "enough!" Abby yells as some guy holds Jasper "what the fuck?" I asks Jasper before he gets out of the man's grip and walks away, I follows him

"Jasper, talk to me!" I says "I have nothing to say to you" he says "we used to tell everything for each other, now you treat me like I am some stranger" I says before he stops walking and turns to face me

"I don't know you anymore. Mary I know would never do that you did" he says "I didn't mean to hurt you" I says "well, you did!" He says

"I am hurt too! Okay? We can help each other if you'd let me help you" I says

"You're hurt?" He asks "yes, I miss Murphy and I feel like I have no one to talk to" I says before he starts laughing "Jasper-" I says "no! You're hurt?" He cuts me off

"You know nothing about my pain, Maya was innocent. She was pure. Murphy was a psycho, a murderer. You know what? I can see why you likes him, he's just like you" he says

"No, Murphy is not a psycho, and neither do I" I says "oh yeah? So what do you call killing 350 people?" He asks

"I saw them taking you to the dorms, what did you want me to do?" I asks with tears "not to kill Maya, that's all I wanted you to do" he says

"I am sorry, okay? I didn't want Maya to die" I says "it's too late for that" he says "Jasper, I can't lose you as my friend" I says

"You'll always be my blood, but you're definitely not my friend" he says "you don't mean that" I says before he walks away

"Jasper, please. I need you" I says with tears, he turns to look at me, but he ends up walking away. I walks to my room and breaks down

Maybe Jasper is right, maybe this is who I am now. But he's wrong about Murphy.

I am scared that if Murphy will be back he will find out what I've done, and he won't look at me the same

How is he supposed to look at me after he realises I killed around 350 people? Will he even be able to look at me?

Will I be able to look at myself? I don't know if I could forgive myself for that. I know Jasper hates me, but it's nothing compare to how much I hate myself

Murphy is gone, Jasper hates me. I ends up alone. I have nothing left. I have nothing to stay for.

If Murphy will be back, he won't look at me the same, I don't think I can handle that. I don't think I can carry what I've done forever, I can't do this shit forever

Maybe I don't deserve forgiveness. Maybe I can't get myself one, maybe there's another way out of this for me to find peace

I takes the gun out of my pocket and stares at it for a few moments before I put it under my chin. But Raven opens the door to my room and rushes to me, she pushes the gun from my hand before she pulls me into a hug

"Mary" she says as she lets me sob in her shoulder "I don't know what's wrong with me, I didn't-" I says with tears

"Nothing is wrong with you, it's okay. You're okay" Raven says "I killed his girlfriend, he hates me, my brother hates me" I cries

"Jasper doesn't hate you, he's just in pain" she says "no, no, no. He really hates me, he does. And if Murphy will be back and he'd find out- I just, I can't face it" I says

"Murphy loves you, Mary. He would understand. He would be the first to understand" she says "there were kids there, how could he understand?" I says before she pulls out of the hug and puts her hands on my cheeks

"You saved us, you saved me" Raven says "there were people who helped us" I says "you didn't have a choice" Raven says before I shakes my head and breaks down in her arms