Angela sat in the middle of what she considered her own personal hell. Pink balloons and streamers covered Gemma's living room. Stacks of presents wrapped in the same color were gathered in the corner. Her mother was talking with Gemma and Lyla on one of the couches while her aunt, Ellie, and Chloe talked on another. Dozens of Croweaters and girls from Diosa milled about the room around her trying their to earn favor with the other Old Ladies. She was seated alone on the chair of honor wishing Juice was there so she could have someone to roll her eyes at. She thought Chloe would be a good substitute, but her friend was a total traitor. Had helped Gemma plan the whole damn thing. A SAMCRO baby shower.

She stood up slowly, grabbing her phone and heading outside. Leaning against the porch, she looked out at the colorful flower beds that littered the backyard, breathing in deeply and smiling as the smell of jasmine tickled her nose.

"You miss him?"

Angela turned at the sound of the voice, smiling at Gemma. It was strange how quickly Gemma had taken her under her wing after what happened with Juice. She had a sneaking suspicion it was because she knew she was at fault for it. If she hadn't taken her to Clay's, none of this would've happened. "Yeah," she admitted softly. "House feels empty without him."

"Thought you had your little sidekick staying with ya," she commented, unhitching herself from the wall and moving to stand beside her.

She did. Boner hadn't left her side once since Juice was gone. She had a sneaking suspicion Juice was the reason for that; Bones was the only guy outside of the club he trusted. "It's not the same."

Gemma nodded in understanding. "He'll be home soon, baby."

She sighed, raking a hand through her long hair. "And what if he's not? What if he doesn't come home, Gemma? What if I asked for space and he likes it so much he never comes back? What do I do then?"

"That's never going to happen," she assured her, tucking a hair behind Angela's ear. Angela was starting to get used to the little affectionate touches Gemma bestowed upon her. At her doubtful look, the Queen sighed. "And if he does, you got the club behind you, sweetheart. We'll keep you safe."

"Safe has nothing to do with it," Angela muttered. There was no way she was staying in Charming without Juice. If he didn't come back, she was getting the hell out of there. Maybe she'd move to Bakersfield to be close to her family, maybe she'd ditch everyone and head across the country, far from the reach of SAMCRO. She knew she'd never be able to stay in a place that reminded her so much of Juice if they weren't together. It would be way too hard. Sighing, she glanced over her shoulder and decided to change the subject. "My Ma and aunt seem to be having fun with those Croweaters doting on them."

Gemma smirked, her gaze following the other girl's. "Croweater's caught wind of who they are. Tryin' to earn favor with Hap."

"Stupid," she snorted, shaking her head. "He's not even here."

"Doesn't hurt to try," she commented on a shoulder shrug. "Now that little nurse in there. She has a shot."

Angela smiled and nodded. "Chlo is good for him. She doesn't take his shit and distracts him from me and Juice."

"How's Hap taking this...space?"

"Chlo said when he first found out, Hap was going to go chase after him. She didn't understand that it was to literally murder him, but she knew it was to hurt him, so she calmed him down. Explained. It was her idea in the first place. Now, he's just going to wait 'til Juice gets home and then the shit will hit the fan."

Gemma nodded approvingly. "Smart girl," she commented before straightening up. "I'm gonna head back in. Make sure those girls aren't snooping through my shit. You should get inside too. It is your baby shower."

Angela scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I'd rather not, actually. Anymore pink shit, and I'm gonna throw up."

"Sweetheart, you're having a girl. That pink shit is gonna be your life," Gemma stated on a chuckle. "Come on, let's go."

With a groan, Angela reluctantly followed her back into the house. She spent the rest of the day going through the motions. Smiling when she was supposed to, opening the gifts and ooh-ing and aww-ing over pink frilly shit that was going straight back to the store. It felt weird to go through it all without Juice at her side. The sweetbutts asked for him more than once, all of them giving her suspicious looks when she told them he went on a run. There was no way she'd admit to them they were on a break. She knew they all talked amongst each other across the charters. It was better if the sweetbutts from other charters didn't know what the situation she had with Juice was; it might make him seem more available.

Not that he wasn't already bedding the sweetbutts. They hadn't laid down any rules for what they could and couldn't do on their break. She quickly flashed to the image of Ross Gellar from FRIENDS exclaiming, 'We were on a break!'. The moment made her smile before the dread set in. What if Juice thought that way too? What if being on a break gave him a hall pass to do anything he wanted?

Regret pooled in her stomach. God, she was such an idiot letting him go like that. What did she think was going to happen? That he'd go on his run and come back without ever having touched another woman? Fat chance of that happening. Hell, he'd made out with Carla in Stockton. That hadn't been on a run. Not really.

Angela looked around the room at all the smiling faces surrounding her. They all expected her to be happy and smiling too. She didn't feel like smiling, though. She just wanted to get back in bed and just cry. The idea of calling him passed through her mind, but she decided against it. He wanted space. That was why he left. Calling him would defeat that purpose. She hoped the space was helping him because it was killing her.

-------------------

Juice looked at the room filled with sweetbutts and Sons. The Friday night party was going strong, but he didn't have any interest in it. He kept looking at his phone, waiting for an update of any kind. He'd called Bones and given the kid strict instructions to not only stay at the house but also take pictures and send them to him when he could. Angela wouldn't suspect the kid of sending shit to him the way she would one of his brothers.

The phone lit up with a text. He opened it eagerly, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest at the picture he found. It was of Angela lying on the couch watching TV with Rigor snuggled next to her, his head on her belly. The text underneath it read, "Awesome guard dog."

He chuckled at the picture, all of a sudden wishing he could be there with them. To laugh with her about Rigor's protective streak and tease her about letting him sleep in the bed, which he was sure she was doing. He was willing to bet his side of their bed was covered in dog hair. He'd gotten Rigs because he'd missed her when she was on her trip with Chloe. Now, it seemed fitting that she used the dog as a replacement for him while he was gone.

"That your girl?" a voice asked from his side.

Juice looked up from the picture to find Quinn snooping over his shoulder. He closed the message, not wanting to show his brother his private conversation. "Yeah," he said quickly.

Quinn grinned as if he enjoyed making his brother uncomfortable. "How old's your kid now?"

"Oh she's not...she's not born yet," he answered awkwardly. "Picture's recent."

"Shit, man," he commented on a laugh. "You left her like that? That ain't right."

Juice clenched his fists in an effort not to deck the guy; that was a fight he knew he wouldn't win. His nerves were frayed from the stress of the last couple of weeks. Jax finding out, turning Clay in, fighting with Angela; it all had put him completely on edge. Being away from Angela wasn't helping him either. She always calmed him down, sorted through the mess in his head and massaged away the knots in his back. He didn't think it would be this hard to be away from her, but not talking her—even for just a few days—was driving him insane. He needed her. "We needed space."

"You or her?"

He shrugged, thinking back to the drunken night before he'd left. It'd been the final breaking point, something that needed to happen for both of them to move on. He hoped to God when he got back to Charming things would be better. That he hadn't completely destroyed the family he so wanted. "Both."

Quinn nodded pensively before knocking on the bar, getting the prospect working behind the counter's attention. The young guy set down two beers in front of them before heading back down to the other end of the bar where a sweetbutt was trying to get his attention. "Smart of you to know that."

"Yeah," Juice agreed miserably, looking down the mouth of his bottle to the amber liquid.

"She one of Gem's girls?" he asked, just to make conversation. "Heard she's got quite a brood of 'em over there. A doctor, a porn star..."

He nodded, thinking of Angela being included in that inner circle. She'd been a part of the club for awhile now, though she'd hate to admit it. "She never wanted to be," he replied on a shrug. "Met her through her job. Club needed her boss to do some shit for us. She works at the funeral home 'n' we needed her oven. At first she did it for her boss, wanted to stay away from the club as much as possible, but now..."

"She does it for you," Quinn finished with a smirk. "This little Angie Ruiz we're talkin' about?"

Juice raised an eyebrow. For someone who insisted she was raised outside of the club, Angela sure knew a lot of his brothers. First Kozik, then Greg, now Quinn. He wondered if she'd been lying to him all along. "You know her?"

The bigger man shrugged in response. "She's scared shitless of me. First time we met, I caught her tryin' to scale the clubhouse fence in an attempt to get outta lockdown. I couldn't tell whether it was someone tryin' to get in or out so I grabbed her 'round the waist and threw her to the ground, my gun in her face. Didn't help much that I was covered in blood from earlier. She's kept her distance from me ever since. Nice girl though, little spitfire."

He chuckled at that, shaking his head as he imagined it. "She spend a lot of time with SAMTAC?"

"Nah. That was the problem. Don't know whether Hap and Koz kept her away or she stayed away 'cause she wanted to, but the brothers at SAMTAC didn't know her. During lockdown, they ignored her mostly. Thought she was one of the kids and stayed away. She's a good kid. Was a brat back then, but I always liked her. She's got spunk."

"That's my girl," he said on a smirk. "I miss her."

"Then call her up. Do your little computer shit and video chat her or whatever."

Juice took a long pull of his beer as he shook his head. "Nah. I'm giving her space."

"I'm willing to bet all you're giving her is anxiety," Quinn shot back, finishing off his beer and setting the bottle down heavily. "Call her and then get your ass home for your kid."

He nodded, standing from the bar and heading back to the dorm room he was staying in. He stared at his phone for a bit, his finger hovering over her speed dial number before he sighed. No. He couldn't call her. Not if this space was going to work. Instead, he opened up the live feed of the security cameras he'd had installed in his house. Everywhere save for the bed room, of course. She'd turned them off, but he hacked his way in anyway. He spent the rest of the night watching her as she and Bones watched a movie together. Her apprentice had obviously said something funny because she was laughing, one of her hands reaching out to hit his shoulder. It faded quickly though, and that sad look took over her face.

A sense of relief filled him when he realized it was the same look she'd always had when she visited him in Stockton. The look that said she missed him. That she wanted him to come home. And he would come home. He'd give her the space she wanted, but as soon as he could, he was going to go home.

-------------------

Chibs frowned when he saw Angela waddling towards the garage. The girl was huge and obviously struggling with her change in size. He hated seeing her like that, knowing she was home alone most of the time. Gemma had thrown her a bone and had given her some hours at the desk at TM since neither Skeeter nor Bones would let her anywhere near the funeral home in the state she was in. Seeing her like that only added to the anger he was feeling towards her idiot of an Old Man. He loved Angela as one would love a daughter in law and wanted to see her treated right. The way Juice had just left her made him question how loyal the idiot really was to his family if he not only betrayed his club but also left his Old Lady and his child when they needed him. Stubbing out his cigarette, he headed towards her. "Angie-girl!" he exclaimed pulling her into a tight hug and kissing her temple. "What're you doin' here?"

Angela smiled at him, though it didn't seem a hundred percent genuine. "Hey Chibbies," she greeted tiredly. "Picking up Abel for some lunch since my apprentice won't let me work. At all."

"Gotta agree with him on that one, love," Chibs said on a chuckle. "Ye look like yer about to pop."

She laughed lightly, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. "I know. Crazy, huh?"

He nodded, his concerned dark eyes looking her over. "How're ye doin', dearie? Hangin' in there okay?"

"I'm fine. Can't wait to get this little monster out of me," she assured him on another tight smile. Together they walked towards the picnic bench outside of the clubhouse. She took a seat on it, rubbing a hand over her belly as she waited for Chibs to sit next to her. She'd always liked the Scotsman, always felt comfortable talking to him. "Have you heard anything from Bobby?"

"Not a word, love," he said on a shake of his head. "Best if they stay away for now."

She frowned at that, knowing Chibs meant he wanted Juice to stay away too. "He's going to come back, Chibs. His family is here. SAMCRO's all he has."

"He shoulda thought of tha' 'fore he ratted," Chibs said softly.

"Jax gave him a pardon."

"Aye, Jax did, but the rest of the club had no say in it. He'll be taken to the table eventually. Ain't nothin' ye can do about it."

All of a sudden, Angela felt like she couldn't breathe. Chibs was right. Of course he was. "I wanted to leave, Chibs. I told him we could go. He wouldn't. He said Jax would...Chibs, I can't lose him. Not now."

" 's a club matter, swee'heart. Nothin' you or I can do abou' it. 'm sorry, Angie-girl. Tha's just the way it is," he explained grimly. He stood then, holding out a hand to her to help her to her feet. Once she was standing, he set a hand on her shoulder, dipping his head to meet her gaze. "But I can promise ye tha' we'll always be here to help ye. Ye jus' let us know, all righ'?"

Angela nodded meekly, the weight of her own helplessness settling down on her shoulders as she walked him walk away. The idea Juice could come back only for his brothers to take him away again made her feel sick to her stomach. It seemed he needed space from SAMCRO just as much as he needed space from her, and by the sound of it, SAMCRO didn't want him back. But she did. She wanted him home. Maybe this time, she could convince him to leave. Pack up and head for somewhere new, somewhere where people didn't want him dead. She had a feeling it would never happen though. Juice wouldn't leave his brothers, his home. He wouldn't run from his fate again like the coward he'd been when he'd tried to take his own life. No, he'd learned from his mistake and was going to face it head on this time. She just prayed that it would work. That turning Clay in had been enough to earn favor with Jax at the very least. The President had promised him he'd be spared if he turned in his brother, and she hoped he stuck with that promise. If anyone could save Juice, it'd be Jax. Though the debt Juice owed the SAMCRO president made her nervous. It was a bargaining chip Jax could use to make him do anything he wanted. Juice would have to do everything that Jax told him to which set her on edge. Turning in Clay had sent Juice into a downward spiral that he couldn't get out of, she was worried that whatever Jax had in store for him next would send him deeper down until she couldn't find the man that she fell in love with anymore. That scared her the most.