Juice couldn't sleep. He was worried as hell about his wife. About his unborn child. It'd been a week since they'd found out. A week since they'd gone to the hospital together and seen the little heartbeat fluttering on the screen. He hadn't slept since. There was just too much to worry about. His mind was on overdrive. When it came to the club, he felt like he was standing on the edge of a skyscraper. Caught between being good with his brothers and a mayhem vote. All it took was one wrong move, and they'd kill him. He was sure of it. Being there on that edge was driving him insane. Usually he had Angela to help assure him that it was all going to be okay, but since he'd learned about her pregnancy, he hadn't wanted to put that on her. Worse was that he had no release for all of these pent up frustrations. He hadn't touched her in a week. The longest they'd gone since he'd been in prison. Not that he would ever complain to her about it. She was doing her best but hand jobs and blow jobs weren't the same. He missed the intimacy of being with her, of being inside of her.

He combed his fingers through her hair, twirling a strand around his finger. God, he loved this woman. So much. She stirred against him, her cheek nuzzling against his chest, but she stayed asleep. He turned his head, pressing his lips to her forehead and letting them linger there while he breathed in the scent of her hair. Just being close to her like this quieted his mind a bit. Chased away the demons he'd been wrestling with since killing Miles.

Evie's cries came over the baby monitor just moments before Rigor came running into their room, sitting by the bed and whining. Angela groaned, her hand stroking over his chest before she pushed herself off of him. "I got her," she murmured, tossing back the covers.

"You sure, Mama?"

She nodded, leaning over to kiss him before slipping out of bed. She was wearing a pair of loose boxers, and a huge t-shirt, a change from her usual lace boy shorts and tanks. He knew she was doing it because she thought it made her look less appealing to him. She couldn't be more wrong. She would always be sexy to him regardless of what she was wearing.

Turning on his side, he reached over to grab the baby monitor listening to Angela talk to Evie as if the baby could understand her. He smiled when he heard her singing Evie to sleep with the song they'd named her after. The song never failed to put their baby girl to sleep, and—though he'd never admit it—he had it memorized too. The sound of Angela's voice was soothing, and he found his eyelids growing heavier as he curled up, the baby monitor held tightly in his hand.

------------------

Angela walked back into their room and smiled at the sight before her. Juice was curled around the baby monitor, sleeping peacefully. She took a moment to enjoy his sleeping face, void of all the troubles that had been weighing on him for months now. He'd stop letting her in since they'd found out about the baby, and she knew it was to keep her from stressing but it was only stressing her more. She knew he needed someone to talk to, and with Chibs, his closest brother, all but alienating him, he was left floating around the club, looking for someone to connect with.

She slid into bed behind him, curling around him, her hand rubbing over his chest as she draped her leg over his hip. "Talk to me, Juicy," she murmured, pressing a kiss to the scar the prison shiv had left in his back before nuzzling her nose against his warm skin. "You've been too quiet lately. You're stressin' me out."

He smirked at the irony; the reason he hadn't told her anything was because he didn't want to stress her out. Bringing her hand to his lips, he kissed the tattoo on her ring finger before leaning back into her. She scooted away, letting him lie on his back before she moved closer, putting her head on his chest. "A kid threw a wrench through our window, Jax and Nero had a fist fight since Nero 'n' Gemma think Tara's miscarriage was fake...just like you do," he told her softly, playing with her hair while he spoke.

"Mmm," she hummed, tracing over her name as she processed what he'd told her. "I really, really want to believe it wasn't, but..."

"Can't believe she would do that."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

Juice frowned at that, tugging gently on her hair to get her to look up at him. "You ever want to leave, just tell me. I'll let you go. I'll get it," he promised, though the idea of her leaving made him sick to his stomach. "I just want you to be safe."

"I'm not going anywhere, Juice. How many times do I have to tell you that?" she asked, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. She moved in closer to kiss him. "You're my husband. 'til death do us part, right?"

He nodded slowly, wrapping his arm closer around her and pulling into him. "I really, really hope it doesn't anytime soon. Want to meet this new little goomba," he said, his other hand moving to her still flat stomach. She smiled, turning her head to kiss his chest. His hand rubbed over her back, his mind drifting to the tattoos he knew were inked in her skin underneath the t-shirt. Just the thought of them turned him on. "Miss being with you, Angel."

She groaned, knowing exactly how he was feeling. "Miss you too. Just eight more months and a handful of weeks," she murmured on a sigh. She was quiet for a moment, tracing out random designs on his torso. "I understand if you need to...to...get some kind of release with someone else though. Just...wrap it. Don't want any STDs."

He scoffed at that, tugging on her hair again to catch her attention. "It not going to happen. Vowed to be faithful, didn't I?"

Angela laughed rolling her eyes at him. "I'm giving you a hall pass for this one. I know this isn't easy."

He tilted his head forward, brushing his nose against hers. "Waited fourteen months for you before. Think I can handle nine."

"You didn't have a choice before," she reminded him.

"I. Love. You," he stated, annunciating each word. "That's it, Angel. You and Evie and Goomba are the top three people in my life. You're all I need."

She smiled as he kissed her lips, content just to lay there together, the rest of the world forgotten. "You think its weird that we're callin' the kid 'Goomba'? I mean, its an evil mushroom from a video game."

Juice mulled it over, thankful for the change of subject. When they were alone their conversations often went like that. Something serious to something stupid. It's what made it so easy to be with her. She never let things get too heavy. "I mean, we call the other one our sea monkey. Can't be that weird," he decided on a shrug. "Least we're consistent with the weird names 'n' all. 's better than Cletus the fetus."

"That is true," she mused on a light laugh.

"You got that doctor's appointment tomorrow, right? Want me to go?"

Angela sighed and shook her head. "You don't have to. I have another one next week too," she replied on a frustrated sigh. "This weekly checkup things suck. They make me more stressed than anything."

"It's all going to be fine, baby," he assured her, kissing her again. "Now go back to sleep. Goomba needs rest."

------------------

Tara glared at Juice in the rearview mirror of her SUV. He was sitting there on his motorcycle waiting for her to leave, ready to follow her, keep her from her boys. This was all his fault, though. If it wasn't for him, Angela would've agreed to take the boys out of there. She wouldn't be in this situation with Wendy the junkie being the one to take custody of her boys if she went to jail. She'd have nice, safe Angela. A woman she trusted, who was smart and loyal. Angela would've taken the boys out of Charming, would've raised them the right way while she waited for her to get out of prison.

But no. Angela was in love with Juice. She was loyal to Juice and stubborn as hell in her refusal to leave. Tara didn't understand that loyalty. Why on earth would she stay in Charming with a newborn baby after all that had happened? Wasn't she there when the clubhouse exploded? Didn't she understand how dangerous it was for her daughter to be raised in such an environment?

It was the undertaker's fault she had to go to the desperate measure of turning to Wendy. That she had to use manipulation and deceit to get her way. She was sure Jax would've signed off on the undertaker getting custody of their boys without thinking twice. Angela was the wise choice. There was no history there like there was between him and Wendy. He would've signed off, and all she'd have to do was divorce him and that'd be it. Angela could leave Charming with her boys, and they'd all be safe. They'd all be happy. She wouldn't have to worry that her boys were going to be raised by some junkie whore because Angela was the complete opposite. She would make sure Thomas and Abel got their best chance in everything. All of their lives would be better outside of the cesspool that was Charming.

But that would never happen. All because of the idiot sitting behind her on his flashy motorcycle. Without another thought, Tara started the car, throwing it into reverse and hitting the accelerator as hard as she could. She didn't give a shit if she hurt Juice or his precious bike. This was all his fault.

------------------

Angela left Evie with Bones, Kenny, and Ellie at the funeral home and headed to St. Thomas. She'd been feeling as if a dark cloud was hanging over her head all morning, and she couldn't shake it. Something was brewing. Something was wrong, and she was scared as hell as to what it could be.

Chloe greeted her with a big smile once she got out of the elevator. Her smile quickly faded when she saw Angela's troubled face. "What's wrong?"

She shrugged a shoulder, letting out a long breath. "I don't know. Something feels...off."

"Like physically?"

Angela shook her head. "You ever get these bad feelings? Like you know something bad is going to happen and you're just waiting for the shit to hit the fan?"

"Ang, everything is going to be fine," Chloe assured her with a small smile.

She shrugged again. "I don't mean with the baby. At least, I don't think so. I mean...I just have this feeling."

"C'mon. Let's just go get you all checked up. Maybe you'll feel better after," the nurse suggested, leading her to the exam room. "Want me to stay with you? I'm not your nurse, but I can take my break now and sit."

Angela shook her head slowly. "Not necessary. I'll be fine, thanks."

She waited for Chloe to leave before changing into the paper gown and sitting on the table, swinging her legs back and forth as she thought. The doctor came in and went through the motions of checking her blood pressure, poking and prodding her. She answered his monotonous questions and waited for him to prep the machine that allowed him to check the heartbeat, her feet up on stirrups. As the doctor inserted the probe, she squeezed her eyes shut, trying her best to relax. For a brief moment, she wished she'd told Juice to come. Wished he was there to hold her hand.

Her eyes locked onto the screen, her stomach twisted into knots as she stared at the fuzzy image. She knew what to expect, what to look for, and so far, there was absolutely nothing. No movement at all. Looking back at the doctor, she saw him frown. A lump rose to her throat, tears pricking at her eyes. "No flutter, huh?"

"Maybe just a little more to the left," he attempted, moving the probe around in a way that made her even more uncomfortable. "Sometimes these can be tricky."

Angela smiled a little at his kindness, but she knew he was lying. If there was something to see, they would've seen it already. "Doc, please, don't make this any harder," she asked him softly. "There's no heartbeat, right?"

The doctor frowned and shook his head. "I'm afraid not, Mrs. Ortiz. I'm sorry. We knew this was high risk going into it. Your body just wasn't ready to carry another zygote so soon."

She nodded, wiping quickly at her eyes. "I know," she said, doing her best to keep her tone even despite how badly she wanted to cry. "Thank you for all of your help."

"We have a few more things to discuss before you leave..."

Angela knew he was talking, but she couldn't make any sense of what he was saying. Her hand settled over her stomach as she stared at the ceiling. She'd lost their child. She hadn't been strong enough to hold onto it. To take care of it. This was all her fault.

------------------

Chloe was standing outside of Angela's examination room when the doctor walked out. He handed her Angela's file, a grim look on his face. "Get her to an OR and prep her for a D&C surgery," he said on a frown. "Poor girl. Had high hopes for her too."

She smiled sadly and nodded, brushing past him and into the room. Angela was sitting there staring at the monitor. Her face was blank, her fingers trailing over her lower stomach. "What'd I do wrong, Chlo?" she asked, her voice rough. Her dark eyes left the monitor and met her gaze. The pain in them broke Chloe's heart. "What'd I do to deserve this?"

"Nothing, Ang," Chloe said grabbing her hand and squeezing it tightly. "Nothing. It wasn't your fault at all."

Angela sniffled, wiping at her eyes with her free hand. "I didn't really want a baby until I couldn't have it anymore," she said on a sad laugh. "Isn't that terrible? I thought it was too soon. I was scared, and I...I jinxed myself."

"Don't say that," she scoffed, scowling at her friend. "I know you wanted it. Both you and Juice, and you two can have another one, you know."

Hearing his name made a tear slip down Angela's face. "Juice," she choked out, more tears falling down her face. "Chlo, I need to tell Juice."

Chloe frowned, grabbing her phone out of her pocket. "I'll call him. Sit tight."

------------------

Juice cooling off after Tara had almost run him over. He'd gotten his little revenge when he gave her the address to Collette's place. She was in for a surprise with that one. He was sure Jax was balls deep in Collette at the moment. A part of him felt bad for setting her up to walk in on that, another part of him could care less. Not only did Tara deserve it, but in a way, he thought Jax did too. His club president had put him through enough shit. Payback was a bitch.

He was sitting in the hallway that led to the Teller boys' daycare playing a game on his personal cell when a call interrupted him. His brows furrowed in concern when he read the name. Chloe didn't call him unless it was an emergency. "Chlo? What's going on?"

"Where are you? Can you get to St. Thomas like...now?" her voice sounding a little panicked.

Juice was pushing up out of his seat and practically jogging to the elevators. "Yeah. I'm here. Where is she?" he asked, cradling his phone in the crook of his neck while pulling out his burner to text Rat to take his place.

"Baby floor. Room 345."

His heart was hammering in his chest as he waited for the elevator. "Chlo...is this...what I think it is?"

There was a long pause before Chloe sighed. "Yeah. I'm sorry, Juice."

Juice felt his mouth go dry as a lump formed in his throat. His baby. He'd lost his baby. "Shit. Is she...is she okay?"

"No. No she's not."

He hung up the phone as the elevator doors opened up to the third floor. Chloe was waiting there for him. As soon as he stepped out, she pulled him into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, Juice," she murmured.

Juice hugged her back numbly, still trying to process everything. "What happened?" he asked, trying to keep hold of his own tears.

"Doc couldn't find a heartbeat. He tried everything but...it was just too soon after Eves. She wasn't healed," she explained quietly.

"Shit," he cursed, taking in a deep breath.

Chloe frowned, nodding slowly. "She's going into surgery in a few minutes."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Surgery?" he asked, his voice higher than normal. "What the hell? What does she..."

"She can either wait to see if she can miscarry naturally or we can do it now."

"And she wants to get it over with," he filled in softly. He wasn't surprised. Angela wasn't the sit and wait type. "Shit. Can I see her beforehand?"

Chloe nodded, gesturing to the door. He went to open it, but she stopped him. "She's blaming herself for this, Juice. You need to make her see it's not her fault."

"Of course it's not her fault," he replied on a scowl. This was his fault. Karma coming back to bite him in the ass for all of the bad shit he'd done. He never considered it would hurt her. Hurt his baby. But it had. "It's mine," he muttered under his breath before opening the door.

Angela sat there in one of those paper gowns, her legs hanging over the table, head hung down low. He saw a tear fall down from her face and splash against the front of her gown. He moved towards her quietly, reaching out a hand to cup her cheek when he was close enough, simultaneously lifting her face so their eyes met. The look in her dark eyes tore his heart to pieces. "I'm sorry," she choked out, more tears falling down her face. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He shook his head slowly, feeling his own tears gather in his eyes. "Its not your fault, baby," he told her, wiping away her tears. He kissed her forehead, her cheek, her lips, before pressing his head against hers. "Its not your fault."

Her whole body shook as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him in closer. He enveloped her in his arms and held on tightly as she started to cry. "I got you, Angel. You're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay. I got you," he whispered, repeating the last three words over and over again. He didn't know what else to say, how else to fix it. He smoothed his hands down her back, a few of his own tears escaping his hold. "I love you, baby. It's going to be okay."

---------------------

Juice sat on the edge of Angela's hospital bed, watching her sleep. He was glad she had to be put under for her procedure, it meant she got to sleep in peace for a little while. Gently, he stroked a hand over her head, leaning forward to kiss her temple. "I love you, Angel," he whispered to her, his voice cracking a little bit. "I'm sorry for this. This is all on me. I should've made you leave. Soon as I found out. Shoulda sent you somewhere safe."

"Wouldn't have mattered," Chloe piped in front the doorway. "Had nothing to do with stress or habits, it was too soon. She wasn't fully healed from Evie. You both knew it was a slim chance it could take. And if it did, Ang would have to be off of her feet for months. Months, Juice. Ang can't even sit on her ass and relax for a whole day. How do you expect her to last a few months?"

He smiled a little at that, brushing her hair away from her face. His wife never stopped moving. She was always running around doing something for someone. Even the times they'd gone away for the weekend, Angela would wake up early to go for a run or a swim. "She coulda done it."

"I don't doubt that. But at what cost? She'd go insane. She'd drive you insane."

"Nah. We woulda been fine."

Chloe sighed sadly. "This isn't your last chance, y'know. You two have plenty of time to have more kids. Just...put some years in between them and listen to me when I tell you not to do shit. Please."

Juice nodded, taking Angela's hand into his own and rubbing his thumb over the ink that was there. That marked her as his. "I just...want her to be happy. Hate seeing her like that. It...it hurts to see her so upset."

"She's going to be fine, Juice," she said, setting her hand on his shoulder. "She's a strong woman. She'll get through it, especially if she has you to support her."

"I'm here. I'll always be here," he said, bringing Angela's hand to his lips and kissing her knuckles. "I love her so much."

Chloe smiled warmly at him, squeezing his shoulder. "You're a good guy, Juicy."

He didn't reply, just stayed staring at Angela until he heard Chloe walk out. "I'm not," he said quietly. The weight of what happened still fell heavily on his shoulders. This was all his fault. Everything he touched turned to shit. The only reason he was blessed with a healthy baby girl to begin with was because she'd been created before he'd killed a brother, before he killed an innocent woman, before he'd become a pawn in Jax's game...before he'd become a monster. He didn't deserve another child. He wasn't worthy of it, so it was taken from him. Angela was being punished for his mistakes, and he hated himself for it.

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I apologize for this downer of a chapter, but it will get better! Promise!
Also I have a ton of one shots and drabbles related to this story if y'all are interested in reading them! I'd post them in a separate story so you could request things you want to read and also learn some back story to these characters!
Comment if you'd be interested in reading something like that!! 😊
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