"You didn't have to come," I sigh back in my chair with my arms crossed, staring at the clock in the dimly lit waiting room.

"You didn't leave me with much choice Kristen," my mum mimics my sigh and I catch her glancing at her watch.

I had managed to book an appointment to see the doctor only a few days after my mum had realised I had stopped taking my pills. The waiting room is full, not surprising for the time of year it is. I was expecting to see it full of older people who were practically on their death beds but instead there is a mixture of the old and the young. All around me people are coughing and sneezing, some are not even covering their mouths.

"If you weren't ill when you first came in here, then you will be when you leave," I mutter, just loud enough for my mum to hear me.

What makes the situation eve worse is the fact that the doctors are running late with their appointments – probably due to the amount of people there are. I wouldn't mind as much if people learnt how to cover their mouths.

"Mr Stamos, Doctor Green is able to see you in room one," I hear the receptionist shout over the loud bustle of people.

An elderly man who was sat behind us, gets up and makes his way towards the doctors room.

"That isn't fair, we were here before him," I groan to my mum who rolls her eyes at me so I gaze my attention to the floor.

"Cut it out Kristen. You're acting like a child – oh, isn't that Adam over there?" I look up from staring at the floor into the direction that she is indicating at.

"So it is," I practically leap off my seat towards the reception desk where Adam is standing.

"Hey, what's up with you?" I question him before he realises I am even there.

It is then I notice that standing behind him is his little sister, clinging onto his hand. She seems to be biting hard onto her lip and I realise that her eyes have narrowed since I have approached the pair of them.

"Oh hi. I'm fine, we're here because of this little one," Adam points his head down towards his sister. "You remember Kristen, don't you?" he asks her but fails to get a response. "Sorry, Taylor seems to be quite shy these days. Let's go and sit down," he picks his sister and immediately she nestles her head into his shoulder, her little afro almost covering his face.

"She's grown since the last time I saw her. Is she alright?" I ask just as Taylor begins coughing all over Adam.

"We think so. I think it's just the flu but mum wanted us to come here and check. The boiler has been broke for a few weeks now and we just haven't had the money to get it fixed yet so illnesses spread like a wildfire in our house," he tells me while patting Taylor on the pack, trying to reassure her that everything will be okay.

"Poor thing," I say, reaching over to stroke her check as I do so.

The two of us walk in silence back to our seats. I try to think of something to say but nothing seems right after your friend has just told you that they can't even afford heating.

"So why are you here?" Adam eventually asks once we are sat down and he has said hello to my mum.

"Pregnancy confirmation," I tell him without missing a beat.

This gets his attention ad he turns his whole body around to look at me and asks, "what? You aren't?"

"Of course not you idiot. I'm just here for a referral about the postnatal depression. It's to see if I still need to keep taking the pills," I say, making the mistake of looking at my mum who is glaring at me.

Only my mum and Cory know the whole truth about me not taking the pills. I haven't had the time to tell my friends, or at least that is the excuse I keep telling myself.

"Miss Mason, Doctor Mayer will you see you now in room four," the receptionist calls over the noise of people again.

"I'll probably see you when I get out. You'll be fine," I lean down and tell Taylor before walking into the direction of room four, with my mum not far behind me.

The first thing I notice when I walk into the doctors room is the amount of posters hanging all over the walls. They range from diagrams that name all the organs in the body to how to spot sepsis in young children. I also notice a model skeleton in the corner of the room wearing, what I assume to be, the doctors coat.

"Nice coat rack," I say to the young woman sitting in the seat before me.

She can't be much older than thirty and has her red hair tied neatly up into a bun on the top of her head.

"Thank you, it is the only practical use that thing had. Now tell me more about you, what is it you are here for again?" Doctor Mayer asks me while she spins in her chair so she is n longer facing her computer screen.

Doctor Mayer becomes the third person I admit the truth to and this time it is easier to spit the words out. Maybe it's because she's a stranger and she can't really judge me. She can't be disappointed in me in the same way my mum can. She can't get mad at me in the same way that Cory can. She can just sit there and listen, then decide what is best.

"Thank you Miss for being honest. As for what is the best course of action now, I would say keep taking the antidepressants for now and we will have another referral in a month to see how you are doing.

For something like this, it is hard to judge the dosage that you need a day. Sitting in front of me now, you seem like a very well young woman but as you and your mother have mentioned, there are still symptoms of the postnatal depression. Is that right?" I nod my head at her. "But your symptoms are not as severe as they were back in August of last year?" this time I shake my head at her.

"I would recommend lowering your dosage to half a pill a day and see how that works. In a months' time we can always change it back to one full pill a day or even lower the dosage even more, depending how you are. You do need to take them though this time. Here is your prescription. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day," Doctor Mayer hands me a piece of paper over with a scribble written on it.

I thank her before leaving the room with my mum and heading towards the pharmacist.

***

I return home with a new prescription and a happier mother. Cory on the other hand, isn't anywhere near as happy to see us, well me. He stays where he is, sat on the sofa with Erin sleeping in his arms, not even glancing at me as I walk into the room. Since telling him that I haven't been taking my pills, he hasn't spoken to me unless it is something to do with Erin. He has even gone to the extent of spending some nights at Adam's so he doesn't have to share a bed with me. And then when he does decide to stay here, he sleeps on the sofa downstairs.

"Do you want me to take her?" I ask him, keeping my attention on Erin rather than looking at him.

"No," is all he says, not looking at me.

Fine then.

I leave him and Erin in the living room and walk into the kitchen where I find my mum smiling down at her phone.

"What's making you so happy?" I ask her while opening the bottle of tablets.

"Oh nothing. Is he still not talking to you?" I shake my head at her as I break one of the tablets in two. "You need to try and sort things out with him. Try and get back on the same page. For Erin's sake,"

"I know. For now I'm just going to go out and clear my head," I tell my mum, swallowing the half of the pill I took.

"Be back in time for dinner," is all she says so I nod my head at her before grabbing a coat.

Scrolling through my contacts, I look for someone to meet up with. Eventually I find the perfect number.

***

"I still don't get why phoned me?" Jack asks me.

The two of us are at on a bench in the park. There are only a few people around and the clouds look ready to pour with rain at any second. The few people that are in the park are simply walking through it quickly, hoping to avoid the imminent storm.

"Honestly I'm not sure either," I tell him, taking a sip of the take out coffee that I had bought just before meeting him.

"You never did arrange to go to the gym," he says after a few minutes of silence.

"I've been busy. Having a kid takes up a lot of your time," I say to him.

"You seem pissed off. Is everything okay?" he asks looking genuinely concerned.

I take a gulp of my drink, letting the hot coffee burn my throat before replying to him. "Not really," I proceed to tell him everything that has happened over the last couple of days and how Cory is no longer speaking to me.

Jack just sits there in silence, listening to every word I say. He only moves once when he pulls open his leather jacket to pull out a packet of cigarettes and silently offers me one which I refuse. Besides that, he doesn't take his eyes off of me.

"And now you don't know how to get him to speak to you again?"

"I feel like everything that I say is going to be wrong. I think the worst thing about it is that I completely understand why he is this mad. If he ever did anything to even slightly endanger Erin, I would be the same way,"

"Well then, pretend it is that way. What you want him to say for you start talking to him again. What would be the words you need to hear?" Jack asks, flipping the whole scenario around.

"I would want him to be sorry. Truly sorry. And for him to make sure that he would never be in a situation like that again, where he could potentially hurt her," I admit to Jack, slowly realising what I should say to him. "I need to go back but we should do this again" I say, getting up from the park bench.

"Okay, let me know how everything goes. Guess I'll see you in school," he says goodbye to me.

Quickly I walk across the park, hoping to avoid the storm as the first few drops of rain begin to fall. I manage to get to my house just before it gets really heavy. I slam the door behind me to let people know that I am home.

I find Cory in practically the same spot as to where I left him but my mum doesn't seem to be in.

"Where's my mum?" I walk into the living room and ask Cory.

"She went out to get some groceries or something," he replies back, barely giving me a glance.

"Can we talk? Cause I'm sick of this coldness between the two of us," I ask him.

He doesn't say anything so I carry on, "you know I'm sorry for what I did. I never thought about it in a way in which it could have hurt Erin. You have to know that I would never do anything to hurt her. She's everything to me," I sit down next to him and yet he does nothing but look at me.

"I got a new prescription today. Half a tablet per day and I will take them this time. Please believe me. You can watch me take the pills every day if you want. If that's what will make you trust me again then do it. I just wish you would talk to me again," I spill out to him, a couple of tears running down my face.

"I know you wouldn't have done it to hurt, not intentionally at least but what if something had happened?" Cory finally opens his mouth and says to me.

"Every time I think about that I feel awful. That's why I went to the doctors. I'm going to take them properly this time,"

"I believe you but I can't stop feeling angry that you lied all that time,"

"Tell me what I should do for you to forgive me then. I'll do it,"

"I'm not sure there is anything you can do. I think it's just something that time will erase," Cory says rather bluntly while Erin is still fast asleep, oblivious that anything is going on.

"Will you at least start taking to me again? I miss you," I admit to him, hoping that he feels the same way.

Instead of saying anything, Cory moves Erin from one arm to another, so that her head is next to my arm.

"Alright, talking is good. It's a start and that's what we need," he says, giving me a weak smile.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, just watching the rise and fall of Erin's chest as she sleeps.

"I saw Adam today in the waiting room. His little sister was ill," I tell him, hopefully breaking the ice between us.